Last time:
Lois
"I can tell you're still not feeling a hundred percent," he said scooping me up into his arms.
I gasped and grabbed a hold of his neck.
"Besides," he said, his voice suddenly husky. "I never got to carry you over the threshold when we got married."
"You didn't want to and you've had plenty of opportunities to make up for it since then," I muttered.
"I've passed up plenty of opportunities to do lots of things I regret now," he told me, pressing his lips against my hair.
I reached out and opened the door as we got close enough.
He carried me into the cabin and I gasped again as I looked around.
"Clark..."
There were candles everywhere – not lit, of course. Rose petals of all colors covered every surface. The floor, the couch, the short staircase to the room that we shared when we stayed here, even sprinkled on the kitchen table.
"What's all this?" I finally asked.
He wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck with his nose and lips. "I want to show you how much I love you."
"This looks wonderful," I admitted, "but it still doesn't mean you're going to see me naked."
I extracted myself from his arms and headed towards the couch to sit down.
I could hear his sigh behind me as he returned to the Jeep to get our things.
*~*143*~*
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
"What's all this?" Lois asked as I set her on the floor just inside the door of the cabin.
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body to mine. I gently kissed the long line of her neck. I knew she knew exactly what she was doing when she got dressed. A shirt that showed just enough but not too much, shorts that were just a touch too short so I could hardly keep my eyes on the road and not on her legs as we drove up here. "I want to show you how much I love you," I told her between kisses.
I'd gone to every florist I could find in the tri-state area and had bought as many rose petals in as many different colors as I could find. I had scattered them all around the room, up the half staircase to our room, on our bed and around our room, I'd even left some in a glass bowl near the tub in our bathroom – just in case. I thought about lighting the candles all around the room as I held her to me, but it was still too bright outside.
"This looks wonderful, but it still doesn't mean you're going to see me naked." She pulled away from me and headed towards the couch.
I knew it would take more than a few rose petals and candles to prove to her I was serious, but I sighed anyway as I went back to the Jeep and grabbed our bags.
When I made it back inside, she was fiddling with one of the rose petals.
"Black?" she asked as I walked towards our room. "Really?"
"What do you think it means?" I asked back as I went up the steps.
I heard her walking behind me.
"Death," she said as she entered the room.
"It can," I conceded. "But not always. In this case it means the death of old habits, the death of thoughts or ideas, a rejuvenation on the horizon. Courage."
"I see." She leaned against the door frame. "Do you know what all of these colors mean?"
I leaned against the bedpost. "Yes. Do you want to know?" There were nearly twenty different colors all together.
"Not right now," she said, moving further into the room and heading for the large windows on the other side. She sighed and leaned her forehead against the window. "How do I know I can believe you?"
I moved behind her, resting my hands on her shoulders. "I don't know," I told her honestly. "It's true though." I kissed her shoulder just on the skin side of her top. "What I felt for Lana doesn't begin to compare with what I feel for you, sweetheart."
"What does that mean?" She sighed and I wasn't sure she was aware that she'd tipped her head slightly so more of her neck was exposed for me to kiss.
I did just that before I spoke again.
"It means I feel so many things," I told her. "And all at once... Happy but kinda scared... Excited... calm. Lost... found. Safe in a way I've never known, but in danger, too. This thing with us, whatever it is... is stronger than me. Being with you is stronger than me alone. It may have taken me a long time to realize that, but I do; I have. I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. More than I'll ever love anyone ever again."
"I want to believe you," she said. "Really, I do."
"But you're not convinced yet," I added.
She shook her head.
"I'd tell you to tell me what to do or say to convince you, but that wouldn't work. If I just say what I already know you want to hear, it doesn't mean nearly as much as if I come up with it on my own."
I moved away from her and sat in one of the chairs nearby.
I reached for her hand and tugged on it. She resisted but finally moved to sit on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair.
"When I saw that explosion and heard that gunshot, it was almost like the future flashed before my eyes. Without you in it. Would I have survived if something happened to you? Probably. I'd have to because I'd have two little boys depending on me. But, honestly, Lois... I don't know how I'd make it. The same way Mom made it without Chris, I guess. One day at a time, but you know what? I don't want to. The thought of a life without you isn't much of a life at all."
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
I loved the feeling of Clark's arms around me. The way he'd kissed my neck.
But there was more to this than physical attraction – or there needed to be anyway. Physical attraction we'd always had in spades.
"I've been thinking about what life without you would be like for a long time," I finally said quietly.
"And?"
"And I think that while it would be hard for a while, I'd manage. I'd find a way and I'd move on and, hopefully, someday, find someone else."
"Is that what you want? You've told me before that you want to have a life with me, with our kids," he said quietly. "But only if I really want it, too. And I do want it."
I sighed and pushed myself up out of his arms and off of his lap. I couldn't think with him that close to me.
"Everyone keeps telling me that you love me," I said after wandering around for a minute.
"Like who?"
"Daddy and Lana, mainly."
"Lana told you that?"
I nodded. "That's part of what we talked about last week after you and Henderson left. And in the email last night." I smiled slightly. "She said she never imagined herself playing matchmaker between you and your wife."
Clark chuckled lightly. "I'd imagine not."
"She also said that she and Chad and you and I are much better matches than you and she ever were."
"I don't know Chad very well, but I believe it."
"How do you know Chad?"
"He's from Smallville but a few years older than us. He dated one of my cousins for a while."
"Ah. She said he gets to be in the strike contest this year."
He grinned at me. "I guess I'll have to kick his butt, too."
"You won *once*, Randy."
"Randy?"
I rolled my eyes. "Randy Johnson, six foot five, lefty. You remember him, right?"
"There's lots of Randy's in the world," he pointed out. "You could have meant Randy Jackson."
I gave him a 'you've got to be kidding me' look. "What would an American Idol judge have to do with you throwing baseballs?"
He shrugged. "It's been so long since you've called me a nickname, I'd almost forgotten what it was like. I think the last time was after we found out you were pregnant with Nate and you called me Einstein." He looked at me tenderly. "I still miss the sassy, take no prisoners Lois I first met."
"I do, too. Maybe she'll start to come back now that Navance is gone and the pressure is off."
"I hope so." He looked around. "Listen, I wasn't planning to eat until later, do you want a snack or something?"
"Actually, some ice cream sounds really good," I told him, sitting in one of the other chairs. "Do we have any?"
"If we don't, or if we don't have the kind you want, I can go get it. Your preference, milady?" He stood and bowed slightly from the waist as he said it.
I rolled my eyes.
"Queen Lois of Lane, Ruler of Lane and Duchess of Kent?"
"Better." I smirked at him.
"Your preference?"
I thought for a minute. "Just chocolate, I think. With chocolate syrup."
"No whipped cream? Or nuts? Or a banana? Or cherries on top?"
I shook my head. "Not today."
A few minutes later he returned with a bowl full of chocolate ice cream, drizzled in chocolate sauce.
"Perfect," I said, taking it from him. "Thank you."
"My pleasure." He sat on the floor in front of the chair and rested the back of his head against the end of the arm. "I have another surprise for you later," he told me. "And if you're up for flying, I've got some place I want to take you, too."
"Everest?" I asked around a mouthful of ice cream.
He shook his head. "Wrong time of year – again." He leaned his head against my knee. "I promise I'll take you sometime this year though – during the off-season."
I took another big bite of ice cream and didn't respond. What was I supposed to say? Okay? You bet you will? Even if I decide I don't really believe you?
"You've been my rock this week," he said suddenly. "With everything from Christopher missing to Van-El and him not ready to talk to me and Christopher so excited about him and everything else... You know what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it."
"It's my job," I told him.
"It's more than that. If it had been three years ago – in the space we were in then – you wouldn't have."
Would I?
Probably not.
"Probably not," I conceded. "But you've told me what I needed to hear from the beginning – most of the time anyway. Like the day I saw Lana and Linda."
"We were still in it together at that point," he said quietly. "I mean, we have been since then, but starting on Spring Break and until our anniversary, we weren't. I meant it that day when I said you were beautiful and I still do and I hope – I pray – that we'll make love again sometime soon."
I did too, but I wasn't ready to tell him that.
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I wanted to kiss her.
Badly.
But I also knew she wasn't ready for that.
We sat in silence as she finished her ice cream.
"Thank you," she said again as she put her now empty bowl on the end table.
"My pleasure," I said again.
"Did you really sleep in my room last night?" Lois asked suddenly.
I nodded. "I was torn when I got back the night before and realized you'd moved out. Part of me was hurt that you'd do that without even talking to me first and another part of me knew I should have expected it and part of me was confused by the huge sense of loss that I felt. I'd known it was coming – that one of us would leave when the threat was gone – why did it hurt so bad? Why did I feel so empty?"
She didn't say anything.
"I talked to Van-El for a while – I'll tell you more about it later – but he made me think about some things. And then yesterday Lana asked me the hard questions about you and me and how I felt about you. I was starting to come to the realization that I needed you, but seeing you being held hostage... And then the explosion and gunshot right on top of each other..." I stood and paced in front of the window. "I don't know how else to tell you, to show you, that this is where I want to be, but it is."
She sighed and stood, moving to the window to stare out over the tree covered mountains. "I don't either."
"I guess maybe the only thing I can do is not leave. I'd really rather you were able to believe me. I hate to think what some kind of official separation would do to the boys – Christopher in particular because Nate's not really old enough to understand – especially if we're going to end up together, but I guess that would be preferable to us splitting up all together and that's not what I want."
Lois sighed again. "I want to believe you, really, I do. You said you had a whole night planned, right?"
"I do," I confirmed.
"Well, then I guess we go through tonight and see what happens."
"I guess so." I had some things up my sleeve that I thought would go a long way towards convincing her.
I stood next to her staring out the window for a long time, her next to me, close but not close enough.
I moved closer to her and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to my side.
She sighed softly and let me, wrapping an arm around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder.
I wasn't sure how long we stood there, but the sun was getting lower in the sky.
I turned slightly, wrapping both arms around her and holding her to me.
This was it. This was where I wanted to spend the rest of my life.
In the arms of the woman I loved.
"Tell me about a couple more of the rose colors?" she asked softly.
"What color do you want to know about?"
"The turquoise."
She would have to pick that one. "Turquoise is fertility – not that I'm hoping to get you pregnant again or anything like that, but it seemed to fit here at the cabin – and abundance and calm and self-respect."
"Ah. What about the gold ones?"
"The promise of a new beginning."
"Peach?"
"Sincerity."
"Orange?"
I was sure my voice dropped an octave or two. "Fascination. Passion. Desire."
"I'm guessing the orange and blue ones together don't stand for the Gators."
I chuckled lightly. "No. Blue is fantasy. Mystery. Mysterious beginnings of new things. So together I guess they'd be passion and mystery. Fantasy and desire."
"Oh." She barely breathed the word as she looked up at me.
I ran my hands lightly up and down her back before deciding I didn't have anything to lose.
I brought my hands up to frame her face, my fingers tangling in her hair.
And I kissed her.
*****
TBC
