More notes in FDK thread.
Thanks to Alisha, Beth and Nancy.
Last time:
Clark
"When I saw you in that ship with a gun to your head, my heart stopped. When I heard the explosion and the gunshot and saw Van carry you out the door... I think I forgot to breathe. Heaven forbid, if something ever happened to the boys, it would absolutely tear me apart, but if I didn't have you with me, I couldn’t do it. There's no way.
"And you're an amazing reporter. Your writing makes mine better, you know that right? Who else could get a police inspector to try to get her fired the first week?" She smiled at that, too. "And besides all that – I think Pete said it best – you're *hot*."
I took another deep breath. "But more importantly... You've held me when I needed holding – like after Pop Pop died and this week when Christopher seemed to prefer Van to me. You've been there for me when I was depressed and moody. You've said the things I needed to hear when I needed to hear them – everything from 'I can't do this anymore' on our first anniversary to knock some sense into me to telling me that I'm Christopher's hero and Nate's hero and Mom's hero. And your hero. I can't imagine everything I've put you through over the last three and a half years makes me a hero, but it was good to hear anyway. And I hope that I can make up for it. That I can find a way to really be your hero."
I let go of her hand and slid onto my knee next to her, digging in my pocket for the box I'd put there earlier.
"Lois, will you marry me?"
*~*145*~*
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
Marry him?
I was already married to him.
"I'm already married to you," I said.
"I know." He took my left hand in his. "Where's your wedding band?" he asked, shocked. "Did you take it off when you moved out?"
He looked back up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes.
I shook my head. "I took it off yesterday. I had to," I told him. "Dr. Platt told me I had to take it off before I could get on the transport. It's in my bag with my earrings – I just forgot all about it with everything that happened. That's all, I promise."
He nodded. "Okay. I believe you. Where's your bag?"
"In the other room."
Clark literally flickered in front of me and two rings were now in the box.
He took a deep breath. "So, anyway, now... I want to do this right. I'm on one knee, with a ring, proposing properly after what I hope was a romantic evening of dinner and dancing and dessert in the remote mountain cabin where we made love for the first time, even if we didn't remember it for a long time. I want to have a wedding with our family and friends and your dad walking you down the aisle – either in Metropolis or Smallville or both. Christopher and Nate involved somehow – as ring bearers or something."
He smiled at me that grin that I loved so much – the one that could light up a room. "Standing at the front of the church trying to keep my feet on the ground when I see you for the first time in a beautiful white dress; being incredibly nervous before I walk out there. Trying to get my tie straight without your help. My hands shaking a little bit as I put the ring on your finger. Taking our wedding vows again, knowing this time it really is forever instead of just until we can get out of the country. Knowing that when we say in sickness or in health, to love and cherish and all those other things that we really mean them in a way we didn't the first time. I love you, Lois. I think I always have, even before I knew it, before I knew you. I don't love you and know I can live with you. I love you and know I can't live without you. So what do you say? Will you marry me?"
By the time he finished, tears were running down my face. I nodded. "Yes. I'll marry you. Of course."
He took the ring out of the box and looked at it contemplatively. "You know, my mom's engagement ring is the one that Chris gave her the night they got married; the night they found me. My dad never got her one, though he offered more than once to buy her one if she wanted. If you want me to get you one, I will, gladly, but this one was one that your dad gave me yesterday. I never told you that last year – right after Nate was born – he and I had a conversation about us. He'd suspected for a long time that things weren't what they seemed. Last night, we talked again and I promised him that I was going to do my best to be the husband you deserved. He gave this to me because he thought you might want it and he didn't want to give it to me when we weren't... real. It was your mom's and I have the wedding band, too, if you want it."
I swiped at the tears on my cheeks. "It's perfect," I whispered. I'd always loved my mom's ring and had recognized it immediately when Clark opened the box. He slid the wedding band on and then Mom's engagement ring. I rested my hand on his cheek. "I can't live without you either, Clark. I've known that for years. I've known it since the first time we went to Smallville, I think. I loved you before that, before I knew you. I think I fell in love with you when you were standing there, in a towel, and threw my attitude back in my face, even if I didn't realize it for a long time. I loved you when I thought you hated and resented me. I loved you when you loved me that night, helping me forget for a little while how close we came to losing my dad. I loved you when you put your life on hold to protect me and a baby you had no idea was yours. I want everything you said, too. A chance to connect our lives forever in front of family and friends and know that it's forever this time."
He kissed my fingers near where the rings were. "I love you, Lois. I’m just sorry it took me so long to realize it." He looked up at me and I could see it all there, written in his eyes. "How long do you think it'll take to plan a wedding?"
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I stood up as she shrugged and pulled her up with me, into my arms where my chin rested on her head.
She sighed. "I don't know. Six months? Depends on when we want to have it and where and all those kinds of things, I guess. How much notice we want to give our guests. The last wedding I was a part of, the planning took about fifteen minutes."
She turned her head to rest her cheek on my chest as I chuckled. "I remember it took a lot longer to plan how to break you out and even then the guy who was supposed to get you out of the hospital room got stuck somewhere. Last I heard, they weren't sure who it was that actually helped you."
"Well, I'm glad that someone stepped in."
"Me, too. I would have gone in myself if it had taken you too much longer to get to that alley."
"I'm glad you didn't have to." She pulled back and looked at me. "You'll never believe what Lana asked me."
I was sure I looked puzzled. "Lana? I think I missed something."
"Well, I was just thinking that you would have flown me out of there and she said something in her email about flying with Van-El. She thought it would be cool." She smiled at me. "I have to say I'm glad she isn't the one you fly with."
"Me, too." I tucked her hair behind her ear. "I couldn’t really define it at the time, but I was jealous when I saw him fly into the newsroom with you. *I'm* the only one who should fly with you like that."
"Well, he might fly with me like that sometimes, but you're the only one who gets to come home with me."
"Do you know how glad I am for that?" I asked her.
"You know," she said, her fingers playing with the collar of my jacket. "The only time I've gotten to take one of these off of you... It wasn’t a very good night and I didn't really enjoy it as much as I could have."
"I don't remember much about that night," I told her. "Not once Mom told me about Pop Pop. As long as I have you, I won't have to worry about getting my own tie straight."
She laughed and I rubbed her back lightly.
What I really wanted to do was kiss her.
Kiss her and never let her go.
Kiss her and make love to her.
But she'd said earlier it was too much, too soon. Was that still the case? Now that she'd agreed to be my wife again?
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
He seemed to be struggling with something as we stood there, his arms tightening around me. I don’t know how long we stood there before I finally spoke. "Clark?"
"Yeah, honey?"
"Why did you want to know how long it's going to plan a wedding?" I asked.
"Just wondering..."
"What?" I asked as he didn't continue.
He shook his head. "Just curious. Wondering how long it takes to plan a wedding."
I didn't believe him, but it didn't seem like the time to press that issue. "Clark?"
"Yeah?"
"You *can* kiss me you know." And I wanted him to, desperately.
"You were here earlier. I'm afraid if I kiss you I won't want to stop," he whispered huskily. "Earlier you weren't ready, and you were right not to be, and I didn't know if you might want to wait for our next wedding night. Or even just for a while longer or what."
*That* was why he was asking how long it took to plan a wedding.
I took a deep breath and asked what I was afraid to. "What would you say if I did? Or if I wasn't ready for that tonight anyway?" I couldn't look at him as I asked, but I needed to know. If I wasn't willing to sleep with him here, now, tonight, would he still want to stay?
"I love you, Lois, and part of that is that I want to make love to you again – over and over, for the rest of our lives. But more important than me wanting to make love to you is you being ready; you really accepting that this is forever for me. And if you're not ready to make love again, then we wait until you are."
"Do you really mean that?"
He pressed a kiss to my hair. "I really mean that. Though, once we get married again – officially – I might have a hard time keeping my hands off you, but if you want to wait until then..."
I shifted so I could look at him. "That was what I need to hear. I need to know it wasn't just about the physical."
"It's not," he told me brushing my hair back. "It's not just about the physical. It's about so much more than that. It's about thinking back over the last three years and realizing that I couldn't have done this with anyone else. I can't imagine my life without you – all the little things you've done over the years to make my life easier, taking care of the boys, loving them, loving me when I wasn't being very loving towards you. Being willing to let me go if that was what I really wanted," he finished softly. "But it's not. It's not what I want. What I want is you. To build a life with you. And if waiting to make love is what you need from me, then that's what you get."
I smiled at him through my tears. "Thank you," I whispered. "But you know what? We're already officially married. We have two sons together. I think we're probably okay." I smiled at him, playing with his tie. "Besides, I want the chance to take a tux off of you."
"That's another thing." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We've been together twice and we have two kids. Are we going for three for three?"
I shook my head. "After Nate was born, I started birth control pills, just in case. I knew that if you ever really kissed me again, I wouldn't be able to – wouldn't want to – stop. We're good."
"Yes, we are," he told me with a cheeky grin as he trailed finger up my spin, giving me chills. "We're good *together*."
I smacked him lightly. "Yes, we are. And it was more than twice – once here – but after Daddy... I seem to remember someone being insatiable."
"That was you," he said. My eyes closed as his fingers brushed against my hair at my temple.
I sighed happily. "Maybe, but it was you, too. And what I *meant* was we're covered as far as birth control goes."
The relief was evident on his face. "I know we haven't talked about whether we want any more kids or not, but I don't think now's the time if we do."
"I know." I smiled at him. "You made that beautiful speech and asked me to marry you. I said yes and you still haven't kissed me. If you don't kiss me soon, I may have to take matters into my own hands and kiss you."
Another grin slowly crossed his face. "I guess I better kiss you then."
"And once you start," I whispered. "Don't stop. Don't ever stop."
"I won't," he whispered back, his hands moving to frame my face. "I love you, Lois Lane-Kent and I'm going to spend the rest of my life loving you."
"I love you, Clark Kent, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life letting you."
He grinned. "I'm so glad."
He lowered his face to mine and kissed me until I was breathless.
"Hold that thought," he whispered. He released me and disappeared. When the blur stopped, he was standing in front of me wearing a pair of silk boxers and a matching shirt that hung open. There were champagne flutes in each hand. "Didn't spill a drop," he said proudly.
I took the glasses from him and set them on the table. "I don't want anything to cloud this moment. But I do seem to be a bit overdressed and it would take me a lot longer to change than it does you." I looked up at him with a pout. "I didn't get to take your tux off." I reached out and trailed a finger down his chest, stopping at his belly button before moving closer to him and wrapping my arms around him under his shirt, feeling his warm body under my fingertips.
"Well, then I guess we'll have to save what I brought for you – hoping things would turn out well – for later." He took my face in his hands and kissed me again. "And you'll get to take my tux off another night," he whispered before kissing me again.
And again.
And again.
I didn't even notice as he floated us towards the fireplace.
This time we'd both remember what happened here, at a cabin in the woods.
This time was forever.
*****
TBC in Unanswered Prayers - coming soon to a message board near you.
