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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 367
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 367 |
To make life easier, I’ve decided that I’ll start the fdk threads for this story.
So, what do you guys think? Do you want more, or should I quit while I’m ahead? Leave your thoughts here.
- Alisha
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527 |
Very interesting premise... can't wait for more... kinda sad though... and I wonder how Martha and Jonathan and possibly even Smallville itself fared...
Sara "Lieta"
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Well written, interesting, but, like Lieta said, sad. Poor Clark. And poor Lois too, although she brought on her predicament herself. This Lois isn't galactically stupid, but she hasn't got her priorities straight. I suspect that Clark is going to have to save Lois again, whether he wants to or not. I also hope that Lois will be able to do something to sort of make it up to Clark, although what that would be I have no idea. (And what about Jonathan and Martha? I have a bad feeling about them.) Ann
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Love the premise and looking fwd to it. What's the posting schedule? An exposed Clark and a guilt-ridden Lois..wow! Baby Rage.. that means the Churches or is Luthor still there?
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777 |
In a word: oh boy! I know,that's two words, but I typed 'em fast.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher "Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 483 Likes: 6
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 483 Likes: 6 |
Oooh so sad. I know Lois did that herself but I think she probably would have done just that if she had found out at that time ... but still the short encounter between Clark and Lois nearly made me cry. I'm curious where this will go...
Kathryn
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 86
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 86 |
Wow, that was a powerful start... lots of angst (love it) and a very bleak set of circumstances for this Lois and Clark to cope with. Can't wait to see where it leads.
All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
I had to ponder this one for a while before I could give feedback.
This is so sad. I'm not sure that I'll be able to stay with it, but for now I intend to try.
Now, sad that it may be, I think it's a really good idea. If Lois would have found out too soon, this is a very reasonable thing to have happened. So, even though it's way over on the "noooooooo" side of my scale, I think you have done an excellent job with this.
Bob
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Are you going to tell what happened to Jonathan and Martha when the article came out?
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
I'm not sure that we'll get a happy ending to a story where Lois headlines Clark's secret. But I'll bite! The start is very alluring. Just don't keep us waiting too long for the next post!
~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Interesting this leave this Clark right where Lois left AltClark.
Looking forward to more.
Framework4
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 14
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 14 |
Oh wow. That was a pretty brutal start. So for me, it all depends on where you're going.
In this part, we really just have your premise and setting. I can envision the Lois/Superman relationship turning into something beautiful, or continuing its downward spiral and leaving them both in ruins.
So I'm hanging in (and hoping that the A plot doesn't overshadow the character development), but if I don't see any signs of hope at all in the next two or three posts, I don't think I'll be able to keep reading.
Your writing itself is, as always, quite lovely.
Carolyn
CJ
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Heart breaking. I hope they make their peace. I assume that is the path you'll take. I hope anyway, unless HG Wells shows up and fixes this mess, you have your work cut out for you. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 652
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 652 |
Wow that was a wham without death! Poor Clark, how sad for both of them.
I look forward to more.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi,
I agree, this seems a tragic beginning, and I'm not sure things are going to get any less harrowing, but that said, your story is written very well.
You made me feel for Clark, and for Lois, though she had been the one to instigate the sad situation.
I think that for the moment I will stay with it too, and hope life does improve for both Lois and Clark.
Yours Jenni
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Joined: Feb 2008
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
More please! I want more now!
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700 |
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Okay, you've got me hooked. More, please.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
That was incredibly sad ... but so well written.
I'll keep reading - I just hope you can somehow pull a happy ending out of this.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Wow.
That truly is a brutal beginning. And it's probably about the way things would have gone had Lois worked without blinders and discovered Superman's secret so early in their friendship, before he'd managed to insinuate himself into her heart.
And now she's destroyed Clark Kent pretty much forever, or at least until the notoriety dies down. But I wonder if it ever would? I just finished a biography of Evelyn Nesbit, the "girl on the red velvet swing" who was the mistress of New York architect Standford White, then the wife of crazy playboy Harry Thaw. She first came to fame as a beautiful teenage portrait and photo model, then as a witness in her husband's trial. Oh, did I forget to mention that Harry Thaw shot and killed Stanford White in a theater audience with a thousand people around them? Thaw spent the rest of his life in and out of insane asylums, never able to get a grip on life. And he never acknowledged the child he and Evelyn had together.
Evelyn never got away from being "the girl on the red velvet swing" for the rest of her life. The case followed her until she died at age eighty-two, and she was never able to be herself again. People who are swept up in events such as those nearly always fail to escape them. I don't think either Clark or Lois could ever get away from such a tragic event. They'll be tied together for the rest of their lives, even if they never reconcile.
As for me, I don't think that Clark would ever let Lois die. I think he'd rescue her and treat her just like any other person in danger, but when that danger was past I think he'd be at a loss as to how to treat her. I don't think he hates her, but I do think he doesn't know how to relate to her. It's a sure bet that he doesn't trust her personally, but he surely doesn't believe that she's a criminal. This situation is going to take some serious difficulties to resolve. And I have every confidence that you'll be able to pull if off.
Looking for the next part, where Lois gets in danger once again and has to call for Superman's help yet again.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
Oh! I'm looking forward to more!
I can't imagine the lifestyle that the Kents are enduring at the moment. I'm afraid for them. I am very curious to see how the sad Lane and Kent relationship developes.
Hope to see more.
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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