Thanks, as always, to Beth, Nancy and Alisha.
[and thanks to Lieta for catching the spots I forgot to change Bernie's name from Vance to Bernie b/c originally, he was named Vance...]
Last time:
Clark
"Let's do it," Lois said suddenly.
"What?" Mom and I said simultaneously.
"I mean it," she said. "I've seen you watch coverage of mudslides and earthquake aftermaths and I know how much you want to help. I've seen you watch Van-El in action and I know how much you'd like to be doing that, too. And the telepathy thing will sure help with that, I'd think."
"Are you sure?" I asked, shifting so we could look at each other.
"I am," she said quietly. "You've been given some amazing gifts and it's all well and good to use them to keep a fire going or make a quick trip to Smallville, but there's so much more you could do with them and I know you want to."
I kissed her gently. "I love you," I said quietly.
"You should," she replied with a grin.
I looked at Mom. "Okay. Let's do this."
*~*3*~*
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
Several hours later, I stretched out on the bed in Clark's old room and waited.
A minute after that, Clark walked in and I grinned.
"No," he said.
"*I* like it," I told him, making sure not to look at Martha as I did. If I looked at Martha, it was all over.
The leopard print with orange and green briefs on the outside *was* pretty funny. I think Martha knew even as she made it that it would be.
I finally glanced her way and the giggles took over for both of us.
"Go try on the next one, honey," she told him. "That was the worst of them, I think," she whispered to me. "I made up several after Van-El made his appearance."
He came back in a green blue and yellow outfit that sort of resembled the Brazilian flag in an odd sort of way.
I shook my head. "It's not right."
Martha sighed. "No. It's not."
"Next," I told him.
A second later, he was back in some magenta and orange thing with a hood that covered the top half of his face.
I shook my head again. "I think the hood seems to indicate that you have something to hide. There's going to be enough people wondering about secret identities. I think your face needs to be unobstructed."
Martha nodded. "She's right. Next."
Clark rolled his eyes and headed back to the bathroom to change again. He came back wearing orange sock things with a blue body suit with yellow and red vertical stripes on it.
"Better," I said. "But..."
"Mom, do they have to be so tight?" he whined.
"It'll cut down on wind resistance," Martha reminded him. "Next."
He sighed and headed back out again. "What about black like Van-El?" he called from the bathroom before coming back out in a bright blue suit with red briefs and a yellow belt.
"I like that one best," I said the instant I saw him.
"Me, too. I think black is fine for Van-El, but I like the primary colors better. It's much more superhero-y. Just look at most of the outfits in 'The Incredibles'."
I snapped my fingers. "A cape!"
"What?" they both asked in unison.
"A cape. It'll look great while you're flying and..." I made a spinning motion with my finger "...turn around so I can see the back." He sighed and did as directed. "Yep. You need a cape."
"Why?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at me. "Edna would never approve."
Christopher had made us watch 'The Incredibles' innumerable times and Clark was right. Edna – outfitter of all superheroes – would not approve of a cape.
"Well, Edna's not here," I pointed out. "And I really don't need all the women in the world staring at my husband's tushie."
He looked over his shoulder, trying to see his rear. "What's wrong with my tushie?" he asked, shocked.
"Nothing," I informed him. "You have a great tushie, but no other women need to be gawking at it. I'll have to mention that to Ashley. I bet she'd prefer that Bernie wear a cape, too. Have you seen the tushie shots of your brother? Already?"
He sighed. "Mom?"
"It *will* look great while you're flying," Martha agreed.
"We're right," I told him.
He sighed again. "I know when I'm outvoted."
His phone was lying on the bed next to me and chose that moment to ring. I put a finger over my lips in Martha's direction. She nodded – it wouldn't do for my dad or someone to hear her in the background. "Hello?" I said, answering it. I listened for a second then handed the phone to Clark. "It's your brother."
A minute later, he told us that Bernie and Ashley were coming our way and would be here in about ten minutes.
Martha's eyes got wide. "An actual superhero is coming here?"
Clark raised an eyebrow at her. "Um, Mom?" He gestured at himself. "What am I? Chopped liver?"
She rolled her eyes. "You're not a superhero yet. Soon, but not yet." She bit her bottom lip. "I wonder what I have to eat."
"Don't worry, Martha. We can always send the two of them to China for dinner while we... chat." I winked at her.
Clark groaned. "You're going to share embarrassing stories, aren't you?"
Martha and I glanced at each other and shrugged. "Probably," we said in unison.
"Can I at least change out of this?" he whined.
"No," we told him.
"We want to see what your brother thinks," Martha added.
Martha looked thoughtful. "It needs something..." She snapped her fingers and hurried to her room.
We glanced at each other and Clark reached a hand out to help me up. She was pulling a trunk out from under her bed when we made it in there.
"We found you with these," she said softly, pulling out a bright blue baby blanket and the family crest Van-El wore on his Suit – the one Clark said was a family crest of some kind, the same one he had tattooed on his hip. I'd have to find out what that was all about from his brother once I was comfortable asking him something like that. Or I'd get Clark to.
I looked more closely at the shield. "What if he wore that on his chest and you made a red cape to go with it?"
Martha nodded. "And a gold one on the back of the cape."
Clark looked at us. "Do I get a vote?"
"No," we said again in unison. Martha used a couple of safety pins to tack the shield in place.
Clark winced as she stabbed him and bent the safety pin.
"Don't act like that hurt," I said with a roll of my eyes.
His head snapped up. "They're here."
I heard a 'whooshing' sound and felt butterflies in my stomach.
Clark led us downstairs as I heard the door open.
Here went nothing.
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
Here went nothing.
I walked into the kitchen – I'd told Van to come on in – biting my bottom lip and grateful I couldn't actually make it bleed because I was sure I would be otherwise.
"What do you think?" I asked before anyone else could say anything.
Bernie raised an eyebrow and Ashley's mouth dropped open.
I turned to look at Mom and Lois who were right behind me. "Told you."
Lois rolled her eyes. "Clark, no one will be looking at your face, which is the whole point. And once your mom gets the cape made, no one'll look at your tushie either."
"Cape?" Bernie asked.
"Yes, cape," Ashley said. "I told you – you need a cape."
"But Edna..." Bernie started.
I sighed. "That’s what I said."
"Remember Vortex?" Bernie asked me.
"Exactly," I said.
Martha rolled her eyes. "You two are invulnerable. Vortex wasn't."
Lois gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "His name *wasn't* Vortex. His name was Splashdown and he was sucked *into* a vortex. Thunderhead got his cape caught on a missile fin. Stratogale was caught in a jet turbine. Metaman was an express elevator. Dynaguy snagged on take-off. And, of course, Syndrome was also caught in a turbine or something, but there was no Vortex."
I looked at her, eyes narrowed.
"Your son made me watch it with him over and over and over again," she reminded me
Mom jumped in. "And you two are still invulnerable and none of them were. That was all Christopher wanted to do while I was staying with you guys. Where do you think I got the idea from?"
"The same place I did," I admitted.
"Me, too," Bernie sighed. "It hadn't occurred to me before then."
"I hadn't actually seen it yet, when I had the idea," I told them. "Jessica, our nanny, told me she and Christopher had gone to see it."
Lois looked at me, puzzled. "When did Jessica take Christopher to see it? I never knew where he got the fascination from originally."
I winced slightly. "The night your dad was in the hospital after his heart attack." There were a lot of good things about that night, but a lot of not so good things as well. I clapped my hands together. "Okay, introductions." I turned back to the other couple. "You must be Ashley." She took my offered hand and shook it. "I'm Clark, this is my wife, Lois, and my mom, Martha. My dad, Jonathan, should be home before too long. Mom, Lois, this is my brother, Van-El or Dr. Bernie Klein and his fiancée, Ashley."
There were handshakes and hugs all around.
A few minutes later, Ashley and Lois were sitting on the bed in our room and Mom was making capes.
We could hear our... other halves giggling like schoolgirls in the other room.
"I think they hit it off," I told Bernie sardonically.
"I believe you're right," he said with a slight grin. "So the cape thing?"
I sighed. "Lois was right. Have you seen the pictures of your rear end that are out there? I'd like to avoid that if at all possible. Besides, your pants aren't tights like these things are and Mom and Lois won't let me go with ones like yours. And Lois said she has no desire to have women ogling my butt."
"But, um..." He looked at my mom who wasn't looking at us. "...if she doesn't want people seeing your behind, why wouldn't she go for looser pants? A cape doesn't cover the, um, front."
"Aerodynamics," Mom said. "And people won't be looking at his face. The back is easy to cover and covered or not you can't see his face from back there."
I looked at Bernie and shrugged. "I've learned not to fight with Mom and Lois."
"Good plan," she muttered. "You should have listened to me more years ago."
"I know, Mom." I sighed. "At least my butt will be covered and Lois will be happy women – or men – won't be ogling it." I shuddered involuntarily at the thought.
"Ashley *has* said the same thing," he confided in me. "She's glad no one's really looking at my face, so they're not trying to figure out who I am, but she's not crazy about the groupies."
"Lois won't be either, I'm sure, but she knows how important this is to me."
"To me, too. Our parents would have wanted us to help in whatever way we could," he said quietly.
"I'd like to hear all about them sometime," I told him honestly. "And we can say we're both from Krypton – like you told Lois in that interview – but I probably need to know a bit more about it so I don't contradict you or something."
"We'll talk," he said as Mom turned around with the bright red fabric she'd been working with.
"Okay, Clark, take the top off."
I did as I was told. "You're going to have to show me how to get in and out of this thing a lot faster."
"It gets easier," he promised.
"Now you," Mom ordered him.
He complied.
She handed him a piece of flowing black fabric with a bright blue emblem on it and me the red one with the gold emblem. "The harnesses go around your shoulders. I've been thinking about this for a few days – since you showed up, Van – and I think if it's attached to the Suit itself, it'll just drag it down – it's too heavy for that."
We put them on and pulled the tops of our Suits back up. I looked at my brother – my *brother* - and sighed. "Here goes nothing," I muttered.
"Hey! Superboys!" Lois called from the other room. "We need a fashion show or we're going to find ice cream!"
"We're coming," I hollered back.
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
Ashley was great. We were like long-lost sisters ourselves and we were fully prepared to give them men in our lives a very hard time.
We heard the sound of boots traipsing down the hall.
We were stretched across the bed, chins resting on our hands, legs bent at the knees, ankles crossed. "Come on!" I hollered. "We don’t have all day."
"You can't get home without us," Clark reminded me as he walked in.
I sat up on my knees. "Wow."
Ashley sat up next to me. "Wow is right. Hon, you look great. The cape works for you. Really."
The two of them stood uncomfortably next to each other.
I rolled my eyes. "Do your superhero pose thing."
"What?" they asked in unison.
"Fists on your hips or arms crossed in front of you all stern superhero-ish. Sheesh." I looked at Ashley. "Did they not teach this kind of thing on Krypton? You have to *act* like a superhero. Were there no Saturday morning Justice League cartoons?"
Clark glared at me as he crossed his arms in front of him.
"That's it!" I said pointing at him. "Very superhero looking."
"The Justice League didn't have anyone like us," he pointed out. "Though Van does look a bit Batman-ish."
"No cowl, though," Ashley said. "We talked about that. We thought if he didn't hide his face, no one would think he had anything to hide – another identity or whatever."
"Exactly," Martha said. "So what do you girls think of the capes?"
Ashley and I shared a look. "I like them," I told her. "There's already pictures of Bernie's rear out there, we don't need any of Clark's."
"I agree with that," Clark said. "I feel conspicuous enough as it is."
"Then the capes stay," Ashley said.
"Can we change then?" Clark asked shifting uncomfortably. He looked at Martha. "Please, Mom?"
I stifled a laugh as he used his best puppy dog eyes on her; the same ones Christopher tried to use on me all the time – and I was sure they were going to teach Nate the same thing. Martha was better at resisting than I was.
She gave in this time, though. "Go ahead and I'll get dinner started."
The three of us traipsed downstairs while they changed. The two of them beat us to the living room.
"Show off," I mumbled.
Clark grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back to him. "I'll show off for you later," he whispered in my ear.
Bernie coughed and turned bright red – about the same shade I was sure I was, knowing he'd heard what Clark said.
Clark just looked at him and grinned. "Hey, no eavesdropping on my private innuendos with my wife."
Bernie looked chagrinned. "Sorry. It's just..."
"What?" Clark asked, loosening his grip on me slightly
He sighed. "On Krypton, there is not much... PDA."
Clark and I both laughed.
Bernie looked puzzled. "What?"
"You'll understand after you've been around Martha and Jonathan for a while," I told him. "They *de-fine* PDA."
"I grew up with it," Clark said. "It was embarrassing as a teen."
Martha rolled her eyes. "We were *never* inappropriate."
"No, you weren't. But apparently, you're a bit more affectionate than my birth parents were," he said. "And since you raised me, I think I probably take after you two a bit more than them. Besides, I like holding my wife and whispering innuendos in her ear."
Was it possible to die of embarrassment?
Martha laughed. "Oh, Clark, you don't know how long we've waited for you to do that."
"It's better than the time and temperature," I muttered.
Ashley just looked from one to the other and finally summed up her thoughts in one word. "What?"
Clark pulled me into the same chair we'd been in earlier. Martha took the other chair and Bernie and Ashley took the couch. I noted that they sat fairly close together, but the only part of them that was touching was their hands lightly grasped. I was sitting on Clark's lap with his arms around me and they were barely holding hands. I thought Ashley looked slightly jealous, but it passed quickly.
"It's a long story," Clark started. "Essentially, we're on our honeymoon."
"Don't you have two kids?" she asked.
I nodded. "Did you hear about how General Navance from Latislan tried to claim an American baby?"
She nodded.
"That was us. Without going into too much detail, we got married only to protect me and the baby who would be Christopher from Navance. Clark was..." I paused and he squeezed my hand slightly. "...in love with his girlfriend. I had a boyfriend and it's been a very long road to get here. Just last night, Clark asked me to marry him for real. We're going to have a real wedding and do things right, but essentially, we are on our first honeymoon. Besides the whole dictator in love with other people thing, I was pregnant, miserably sick and pregnant and we were stuck in Europe on a military base. Even if we had been... more conventional, it wouldn't have been much of a honeymoon."
Ashley sighed. "I think I'd like to hear more of that story some day, but I'm glad you two are together."
"Me, too," I said honestly. "I've been in love with Clark for a long time, but I'm glad he finally realized that we belong together."
"I wouldn't trade you for anything, my little tornado," he said, kissing my hair. "Not for anything."
*****
TBC
