Thanks to Pam for fixing my numerical error
.
Thanks also to Alisha, Beth and Nancy for their help!
Last time:
Lois
There she was smiling brightly at me as she poured another cup of coffee.
"I was just telling Clark that I figured you'd sleep in this morning. There's no little kids around to wake us all up. We'll save the early bird stuff for when the grandkids are big." She put an arm around me as I stood next to her, taking the coffee she handed me gratefully.
"Thanks," I said, carefully modulating my tone, but closing my eyes as I rested my head on her shoulder.
I could sense Clark's eyes on me. That was how in tune we'd become over the last six months since Navance's death.
"That includes your kids, Clark. You and Lana are family now, too."
"Thanks. The Lanes and Olsens are family to me, too." I could hear the strain in his voice that I was sure no one else would.
Except maybe Lana.
His wife.
I hoped she didn't pick up on anything during the day.
Or maybe she would and she'd dump Clark after a big fight or something.
I sighed and opened my eyes, without moving my head of my mom's shoulder.
I could see what I was feeling reflected in his eyes – in his feelings for me. He knew how overwhelmed I was by this meeting, how overwhelmed I would be to see Lucy and to actually meet Dave.
He turned his eyes back to his laptop, afraid, I was sure, that they would betray him and his feelings for me.
"Hey, handsome," came a familiar, and presently grating, voice. "I missed you when I woke up."
*~*19*~*
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I wanted to take Lois in my arms and kiss her senseless and fly her somewhere far, far away and make love to her for the rest of the day until we could figure out how to get our lives back.
But I couldn’t.
What if we never got our lives back?
I didn't say it and she didn't say it, but I was quite sure she'd thought it, too.
I heard someone – Ellen, I thought – heading downstairs.
"I need to go – fast," I whispered, "so I can be in the kitchen when your mom gets there."
She squeezed me tightly for just a second, then let go. "Go," she whispered back.
In a blur, I grabbed my laptop and sped all the way up to the kitchen – without 'whooshing' a few seconds before Ellen did.
I kept one ear tuned to Lois and heard her carefully making her way back to her childhood room.
"Well, good morning, Clark," Ellen said as she walked in. "You're up early."
"I couldn't sleep," I told her honestly.
"Research for your next hot story with Lois?" she asked, putting on a big pot of coffee.
"Something like that," I said with bit of a smile. "Sorry I didn't get that started." I really wasn't – I'd rather have spent those few minutes with Lois – but under other circumstances, I would have.
"Oh, no problem." She smiled at me. "Perry talks all the time about how well you two work together."
"Really?" I was glad I wasn't taking a drink or something. I had no idea the Lanes were friendly with Perry. They weren't in our world. Sam and Perry had met a few times at social occasions and stuff, but they weren't *friendly*.
"Yep. He said you two are the hottest reporting team in town." She leaned forward and whispered. "He said you two are going to better than Billy and Serena before long."
I smiled. "I'm sure that'll make Lois happy to hear."
Ellen laughed. "Oh, I haven't told her. It'd go straight to her head."
"Probably," I said with a genuine smile. It was weird. She thought we'd known each other for years, apparently, but I was just meeting her for the first time. I studied her carefully out of the corner of my eye as I scrolled through information on my laptop.
I could see bits of Lois in her. Or her in Lois. Whichever. The way she blew on her coffee before she took a sip was pure Lois.
I could hear Lois taking a shower and was half-tempted to sneak a peek to make sure she was okay, but I couldn’t do that – for so many reasons. I didn't hear tears which was a good sign, except it probably meant she was cried out.
Watching her and Joe together was going to be torture. Staying close enough to Lana that she didn't know anything was wrong but far enough away that Lois and I were both half-comfortable with it... That was going to be a very fine line to walk.
I sighed.
"You okay?" Ellen asked gently.
I sighed again. "A lot on my mind." *That* was an understatement.
"Well, trying to start a family will do that to you," she said with a smile. "When we decided to get pregnant with Lois, it made for some pretty trying times. And deciding we were done after Lucy did, too."
Trying to start a family?
I managed not to react.
Lana and I were... trying to get pregnant?! I closed my eyes and breathed a silent prayer that she wasn't anywhere near ovulation at the moment. If she was, it would be nearly impossible to avoid her.
"And I know you've had some concerns about whether or not the two of you can get pregnant, but look at your parents. Even if you can't, I bet there's a baby out there waiting for the two of you." She leaned in and whispered. "And you've got connections at an adoption agency."
She knew we might be having problems?
Did she know about me or just that we thought we might have a hard time getting pregnant?
Was there a chance Lana was already pregnant and was planning on springing it on me today?
"And you *just* started trying so even if it doesn't happen right away, don't let it get you down." She smiled. "And think of all the fun you'll have practicing."
I stifled a groan and smiled instead.
"I know you don't want to let Lana down." She covered my hand. "And you won't. No matter the eventual outcome."
Was it possible that we'd gone to Sam and Ellen with our potential fertility problems? Sam was a great doctor, on the cutting edge of medicine, but not fertility. His work – in our world anyway – was in sports medicine and reconstruction of joints and things like that, not fertility or anything remotely like it.
I kept one ear tuned to Lois. She was getting dressed. Seeing her mom was going to be hard for her. Would she be able to take it in stride?
"So what movie did you and Lana decide on?"
"Hmm?" She caught me off guard with that.
She laughed as she poured a cup of coffee. I shook my head as she offered me one. "Lucy and Jimmy picked 'Die Hard' – it was his turn to pick this year; last year she went with 'It's a Wonderful Life'. Sam and I chose that this year because she'd be so sad if she didn't get to see it today. Last I heard, Lois and Joe were talking about one of the 'Back to the Future' movies."
Sounded like every couple picked a movie. What would Lana and I have picked?
"Your parents went with 'Independence Day' again this year."
I shook my head slightly. "Figures."
That was the same in any universe. Both they and Lois loved that movie and loved to make fun of me being an alien while we watched it.
I wondered suddenly if Lana did the same.
She sighed. "I bet we've got a while before anyone else gets up. Especially Lois. I'm sure she'd love to sleep in."
But Lois wasn't asleep. She was getting closer.
"Well, hi, Pumpkin. You're up early." Ellen fixed her a cup of coffee as she walked in.
I didn't think Ellen heard her sharp intake of breath.
"I was just telling Clark that I figured you'd sleep in this morning. There's no little kids around to wake us all up. We'll save the early bird stuff for when the grandkids are big." She put an arm around Lois, handing her the cup of coffee. Lois rested her head on her mom's shoulder and closed her eyes.
"Thanks," Lois said carefully keeping her voice even. I could hear her heart pounding. She was doing a great job of keeping herself under control.
"That includes your kids, Clark. You and Lana are family now, too."
"Thanks. The Lanes and Olsens are family to me, too." I shifted my eyes from Lois as I spoke. They were family, just not the family they thought they were.
I looked back at her as she opened her eyes to look at me.
I had to look away, back at the laptop, before my eyes betrayed me. How much I loved her.
"Hey, handsome. I missed you when I woke up."
How had I missed Lana heading our way?
"Sorry," I said as she wrapped her arms around me from behind. "I couldn't get back to sleep."
I was sure she wanted me to turn and kiss her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Not with Lois right there.
She was staring at her coffee, but I could feel the tears threatening. Her tears. I could feel her tears threatening.
"There you are," came another familiar voice. "I wondered why you didn't open your door when I knocked."
Ellen moved away from Lois so Joe could wrap his arms around her as she leaned against the counter.
"Merry Christmas, beautiful," he whispered so only Lois – and I – could hear him.
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
There was something familiar and almost comfortable being in Joe's arms, except that they weren't where I belonged. I belonged in the super-strong arms across the kitchen from me.
"Merry Christmas," I said softly back, unable to make myself turn to kiss him hello, though I was sure he expected it.
"We're getting an early start this morning," Mom - *Mom* - said as she poured Joe a cup, handing him the sugar and creamer as she handed him the cup.
"Thanks, Mom."
Mom? Joe called Mom... Mom?
"Two more weeks, Joe," she said with a warning tone.
Joe chuckled. "I keep trying to convince Lois to run off to Vegas with me so I can call you Mom, you know."
Mom snorted. "Yeah right. We all know why you want Lois to run off to Vegas with you and it has nothing to do with calling me 'Mom'."
I could see his grin. "You got me." He put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. "It's so I can get in her bed."
Mom and Lana laughed and Clark smiled slightly, glad I was sure, for the reason why Joe kept trying to push the wedding date up.
"I thought I heard voices out here," Daddy said as he walked into the kitchen. "Wow, everyone's up early for a day we can sleep in." He gave Mom a quick kiss as he poured his own coffee. "Merry Christmas, everyone."
"Merry Christmas," we all said, practically in unison.
"I guess Lucy and Jimmy aren't up yet?" he asked.
"Oh, they may be up but they won't be downstairs for a while," Joe mumbled. "That's us next year," he whispered in my ear. "It's usually Lana and Clark, too. At least Dave doesn't have anyone yet. And how much do you want to bet Martha and Jonathan'll be the last ones down..."
Dave.
My half-brother.
He was surely here too.
And thinking about him kept me from thinking about what Jimmy might be doing with my – pregnant – little sister.
I sighed.
Daddy clapped his hands together. "Okay, let's get this breakfast started. Clark, you're in charge again this year. Bacon, eggs, biscuits, gravy, pancakes, all that good stuff."
I closed my eyes. If we didn't get this fixed tonight, we'd know in a couple of days if I was pregnant. My appetite would be absolutely out of control for a week or so.
"I'm not all that hungry," Lana said.
I breathed a sigh of relief at that. At least she might not be pregnant. *That* would throw a wrench in the works. As much as Clark wanted to get back to our boys, he'd have a hard time dealing with leaving a pregnant Lana.
Daddy clapped his hands again and spoke up. "All right, Clark's the cook. Everyone else out of the way."
I tried not to watch as Clark half turned his head and kissed in Lana's direction as she kissed his cheek.
I didn't move as Lana, Joe, Mom and Dad headed to the other room.
Joe stopped. "Are you going to help get breakfast ready?" he asked with a raised brow.
I guess having Mom live didn't help with my cooking skills.
I shook my head. "No, there's just something I wanted to talk to Clark about real quick. I won't touch the food. Promise."
Clark was busy getting dishes out of the cabinets and food out of the pantry and refrigerator.
I stayed where I was, not looking at him.
"Some things never change," he said quietly as he grabbed a spatula out of holder next to me.
"Nope," I said taking another sip. "How are you?
"Miserable. You?"
"Same."
"I want to..." His voice trailed off, but I knew what he was thinking.
"I know," I said so quietly no one else would have been able to hear even if they'd been next to me.
"We're trying to get pregnant," he said suddenly.
"I'm aware," I said drily.
"No."
He didn't need to say anything else.
"Oh."
"Not long and apparently not successful yet."
"Thank God," I breathed.
"You said it."
"She said what?" Lana asked walking back in.
Clark smiled at her. "Nothing."
Lana rested her head on his shoulder before reaching up to kiss him. I couldn’t watch. "I never got a good morning kiss."
"Earlier doesn't count?" Clark said, pointedly looking anywhere but at me as he spoke.
"Nope. I was still mostly asleep and you had just turned me down." I didn't think I was supposed to hear that part.
I closed my eyes and my head dropped slightly. He'd turned her down this morning. He'd wanted to be with her for so long and he'd had the opportunity this morning. If this had happened a year ago... Would he have then? That was a harder question to answer, but now, I knew he wasn't interested.
"Uh, sorry about that."
"What'd you do?"
"Oh, research."
"Clark," she said, crossing her arms in front of her. "It's Christmas."
"I know, but no one else was up and I wanted to check out a couple of things for one of the stories we've got in the works."
That was close enough to true. We'd never be able to publish it, of course, but what a story it was.
"No more, Clark. I mean it."
"I know," he said hesitantly. He didn't look at me again as he kissed her head. "Don't worry about it. I'll make breakfast. Go have a seat and watch the parade or whatever they've got on in there."
"It's too early for the parade."
"Ah."
"But I do think I'm going to go curl up under a blanket somewhere."
"Good plan."
She kissed him again – on the lips – and went back to the great room.
"What're we going to do, Clark?" I whispered, fighting the tears. "I don't think I can do this."
"Sure you can," he replied. "Just remember the boys. Christopher and Nate. You're doing this for them. We have to make it through the day and then we'll get home."
"What about my mom? And Lucy? And Jimmy's baby? And Dave? Changing the past back will essentially kill all of them."
He let out a deep breath. "We'll figure something out. I promise."
"You can't promise that."
"I promise – not alone with her."
"Thank you."
"This morning..."
"I think I got the picture."
"Nothing..."
"I know." I didn't want any details of what she might have tried before he turned her down.
He reached for the rolling pin sitting on a holder near me. "I love you," he whispered.
"I know," I whispered back. "I love you, too. More than anything."
"I've loved you since the beginning."
"I'll love you until the end."
Where that had come from I didn't know. We'd said something similar once before, but that was it.
But it was true.
I'd loved Clark since the beginning and I'd love him till the end.
He felt the same way.
I knew he did.
We just had to make it through the day and then we'd figure this mess out.
*****
TBC
