Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#60529 01/31/09 04:50 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 64
M
Freelance Reporter
OP Offline
Freelance Reporter
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 64
Appreciate any comments or suggestions to help the story.

TOC: Reflections TOC

Max

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
L
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
L
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
I liked this chapter... especially Martha, =) I can't wait to see how the ball goes.


Sara "Lieta"
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
T
TOC Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
T
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Good part! I really liked it. Clark's dream was horribly scary. You want suggestions, by the way? Okay, here's mine. Whatever you do, don't let Clark's dream come true!!! Because if you do, then, to paraphrase Martha, I may have to hurt you! sloppy

Ann

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777
S
SJH Offline
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
S
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777
Holy cement shoes, I dont ever want Martha or Jonathan mad at me.


"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Good progress. Yes, don't let the dream come true. I like Clark's continuous feelings of deja vu because that's pretty much my life. I always feel like I've been there before. The only thing I can ask for is more. Looking forward to the White Orchid Ball. Oh, please let Lois ogle Clark in the tux.
I'd grown a bit weary of pilot rewrites, but you've put a really fresh spin on it.
cool
Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
BJ Offline
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Very nice chapter. I actually think Clark's dream is a good thing. Clark thinks that if he can keep his distance from Lois, that she won't get close enough to hurt him and/or betray him like Lena did. But the dream (and Martha's perceptive comments at the end) tells us it's already too late.
Quote
“Beautiful.” He looked directly back into her eyes before realizing that their faces were only a couple of inches from each other. He quickly straightened up, cleared his throat, and said, “I mean, it looks great. We should send it to Perry.”

Lois lost the amusement on her face and said softly. “Sure, Clark.”
He's already a goner and I think Lois knows it. I love how compassionate this Lois is - that she sees his hurt and because she can relate to it, she's driven both to understand and to asuage his pain (or at least not to spook him).

Also, I LOVED the interaction between Martha, Jonathan and Clark.
Quote
So what is she like... other than pretty?”

Clark rolled his eyes, and shook his head. Then he thought about it for a moment. What was Lois Lane like?

“Well, Mom, she’s hard to pin down. She tenacious, and can be a little on the headstrong side. She obviously wants people to think that she’s tough and uncompromising, but her bed is full of stuffed animals. I thought that was strange. And she’s a big fan of this cheesy soap opera.”

Martha was about to interrupt and ask Clark something, but Jonathan stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder, and shaking his head. Clark eyes focused off into infinity as he continued.

“She can be a real pain sometimes, and she hates to accept help. But then again she didn’t say anything about watching over her while she slept.”

Martha’s eyes got very wide, and she opened her mouth to speak, but Jonathan just gripped her shoulder a little tighter.
Sorry for quoting so much, but Martha's excitement and Jonathan's shoulder squeezing told me so much about the characters in so few words. Brilliant.

More soon.
BJ

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Wow, that dream. I really thought you pulled one on us there eek

Quote
“Also, she’s apparently a human target for a large contingent of the criminal element in Metropolis. Superman may have to make a career out of protecting her.” He sighed, and then refocused back on his mother. “Speaking of which, I better get going.”
smile1


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 64
M
Freelance Reporter
OP Offline
Freelance Reporter
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 64
Thank you for the comments. I am posting Chapter 15 tomorrow, and will be sending the next two chapters to my Beta Readers tomorrow also.

The story now leaves the season rewrite stage and the story becomes even more different.

I hope you are liking this emotional role reversal point of view (where Clark is the one who has been burned by the bad past relationship).

Anyway, stay tuned.

Max

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326
R
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
R
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326
Great part and I am loving the role reversal part


robinson

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5