I've finally finished my revisions to Playing to Win. Since some major changes have been made since I originally posted this (and since I posed it on Zoom's mbs, but not here) I thought I'd go ahead and repost it. Those of you who read this before, I hope you'll read it again to see if I've made the changes you were hoping for. And those of you who haven't read it yet, enjoy! Thanks to everyone who helped me along the way, especially Kathy since this story would never have been finished without her assistance. (Never apologize for helping "too much" - you can write lines into my stories whenever you want! <G>)
I should be posting everyday, barring something unforseen. Most of you have read this before, so there is no use drawing it out for suspense purposes. Besides, I've never been patient like that anyway.
This story follows directly from
Playing the Part and will be followed soon (hopefully) by Playing for Keeps.
And now, on with the show....
Lois tapped ineffectively at her keyboard, waiting for the computer to finish booting up. She glanced around the newsroom for seemingly the millionth time since she sat at her computer a few minutes earlier. She was *not*, she told herself firmly, looking for Clark. She was merely looking around the newsroom – being observant. It was what reporters did.
Clark. She hadn't been able to get him off her mind since their 'date' two days earlier. When she had run into an ex-lover, one who had humiliated her once, the last thing she'd expected was to find herself agreeing to go out on a double date with him – especially since the fantastic boyfriend she'd bragged to him about didn't exist.
She'd desperately wanted to just back out, but she needed to prove to herself that wasn't the same silly college girl Paul had taken advantage of.
Clark had agreed to act as her date and he'd put on a spectacular performance. By the end of the night, Paul was convinced they were a couple, and Lois was actually having fun.
And now, two days later, she couldn't get the date out of her mind. Well, more accurately, she hadn't been able to get the end of their date of her mind.
Clark had walked her to her door and leaned in to kiss her cheek, when seemingly of its own volition, her head turned and received his kiss right on her lips. She tried to tell herself that it was just a friendly little peck, but when she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she didn't go around kissing any of her other friends on the lips.
The kiss had been wonderful. It was so brief that it had been over almost before it had begun, but for those few seconds…. Wow. Her partner really knew how to kiss, that was for sure.
If her response had surprised him, he didn't show it. He'd simply feathered his lips against hers sweetly, reaching up to cup her cheek before pulling away. With that, she had said goodnight quickly and bustled into her apartment before she could do anything else foolish. She had been so stunned by her actions – and by the way her heart thundered in her chest – that she slumped back against the door, pressing the tips of her fingers to her lips. She refused to let herself agonize over it at the time. It had been a lovely night, and Clark had been wonderful.
But while, at the time, the kiss might have seemed like a perfect way to end the date, now it was the morning after – so to speak – and she was flooded with self-repercussions and doubt. What would Clark think she meant by the kiss? Would he fear that she meant more by it than she did and become uncomfortable around her? Would they feel awkward, dancing around the subject of the kiss? Would he think nothing of it, considering it just another part of the façade they had displayed that night?
She had considered calling him over the weekend, but she couldn't think of any really good reason. She knew she didn't exactly need a good reason to call him. He was, after all, her best friend. But after spending all of Friday evening with him, she just felt a bit awkward calling him. And, she had rationalized, if he wanted to talk to her, he could always call.
He hadn't called though, and to her dismay, she had found herself wondering why. She knew he was probably just busy catching up on things, but she still caught herself watching the phone a few times. She had forced herself to think about other things and go about her weekend tasks, but now Monday was here, and there would be no avoiding him.
Lois pushed all thoughts of Clark from her mind and forced herself to focus on checking her email.
*****
Clark stepped out of the elevator carrying his customary two cups of coffee – one for him and one for Lois – and paused, his breath catching as his eyes fell on his partner. She was focused on her computer screen, reading intently. Her head was cocked slightly to the side as if she was contemplating something serious.
His stomach clenched and he realized just how much he had missed her this weekend. After their emotional evening Friday, he had been dying to call her and check on her. But he hadn't wanted to smother her. He knew how sensitive she was about sharing her insecurities, and he hadn't wanted it to appear that he was taking advantage of the trust she had placed in him.
He couldn't explain why she had kissed him at the end of the night, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was finally beginning to think that they should take their relationship to the next level. But he hadn't wanted to push her. So he hadn't called.
He had hoped that she would call him. He was used her calling randomly over the weekend to see if he wanted to grab a pizza and watch a movie or go out to some new, artsy movie that was showing somewhere downtown.
But his phone had remained silent. He had kept busy with Superman duty and chores around his apartment, but he kept checking the phone to make sure it was working.
She looked up then and met his gaze, smiling timidly before turning back to her screen. Clark felt his heart flutter and began to make his way over to her desk.
"Good morning," Clark said softly, laying a cup of coffee on her desk in front of her.
"Thanks," she replied shyly. She paused for a minute, then turned to look at him.
"Lois," he began timidly. "About this weekend-"
"Oh, look, Clark, the coffee stand got new cups. See? Their logo used to be a darker shade of blue. Or maybe they didn't change it, and these cups are just defective. Well, not really defective…I mean, obviously they work, or there would be coffee leaking everywhere. But maybe these are just faded or something-"
"Lois, are you all right?"
"All right? Why wouldn't I be all right? I'm fine."
Clark sighed. It was obvious that she didn't want to talk about what had happened on Saturday.
It had been a wonderful date, except for the fact that it wasn't really a date. Lois had asked him to help her, and he had agreed, but that hadn't stopped him from spending the night wishing that their charade had been real. After Paul and his date had left, he and Lois walked down by the water and she opened up to him, telling him about her relationship with Paul. He felt his anger begin to surface as he remembered her description of young and vulnerable she had been. She'd adored Paul, and he'd played on her attentions, telling her that he loved her and making her feel special. Then, after she'd made love to him, he'd confessed that he didn't feel anything for her, and the experience had meant nothing to him.
They'd talked for ages, and finally he'd taken her home. He dropped her off at the door, and had leaned forward to give her a friendly kiss on the cheek, when she'd turned suddenly, and he found himself kissing her. The kiss… Just the memory was enough to send a shiver down his spine. He remembered it so clearly. Was it the same for her? Or had it meant so little to her that she had forgotten it already? He was dying to know if it meant anything to her, but he couldn't ask her. She clearly wanted to forget that this weekend had ever happened.
Clark's eyes zeroed on her lip, caught gently between her teeth. Her mouth looked so inviting, so kissable. His mind went back to Saturday night and he felt his heart rate speed up as he remembered the feel of her lips under his, the way her skin felt when he moved to cup her cheek.
It had been over too quickly, and before he knew what had happened, she'd whispered goodnight and slipped into her apartment.
It was almost like a dream, and for a moment he worried that he'd imagined the whole thing. What in the world did it mean? He'd only meant to kiss her on the cheek. He'd never imagined that she would turn her face to receive his kiss on her lips.
Could she have changed her mind? Did she have feelings for him? For a moment Clark allowed himself to embrace that hope. He'd waited so long… He loved her so much…
But…she probably didn't mean anything like that, he told himself sternly. She was just hurting and feeling insecure. After everything she'd shared with him that night, she needed reassurance from her best friend.
It hadn't been a passionate kiss, and he knew he shouldn't allow himself to misinterpret it as a sign that she was feeling something stronger than friendship for him. It was just her way of showing the faith she had in him. A sign of her love – her *platonic* love – for him, and her appreciation for what he'd done for her that night.
"Ok," he said resignedly. "We've only got an hour until the morning meeting. Do we have anything to tell Perry?"
"No." Lois said with a sigh. They had been devoting most of their time lately to looking into Bill Church and Intergang. Unfortunately, they hadn't come up with anything incriminating. "There's nothing new going on at all. And apparently it was a slow weekend. Nothing worth writing about. Perry's not going to be happy."
"Wonderful. Where is Perry anyway?" Clark scanned the newsroom. Perry was always there before they were, and he usually greeted them when they came in.
"He's in his office, I think," Lois said, absently flipping through some paperwork on her desk. "Jimmy said something about him having a meeting."
"Hmm. Ok. Well, that buys us a little time. Maybe we can make a few phone calls and see if there is anything going on that we missed."
Lois nodded and picked up her phone, dialing the number of one of their sources at the Metropolis PD. As she chatted with him, obviously making no progress, Clark perched on her desk, scanning the morning edition.
*******
An hour later, Lois and Clark were seated next to each other at the conference table full of reporters at the morning meeting. They exchanged surprised looks when Perry merely nodded at their fumbled explanation that they had so far been unable to come up with a lead.
"I mean, I'm sure something will come up," Lois stuttered. "You know how it is in journalism; you just have to wait for something to break. I *know* Church is dirty, we just need to wait for him to slip up."
"Unfortunately, he's pretty smart," Clark continued. "Nobody knows anything, and anyone who does isn't talking."
Perry tapped his pen against a notepad, listening carefully. "And there's nothing else going on either? Anything besides Intergang, I mean?"
Lois sighed and shook her head. "We've spent all morning on the phone. No crime, no natural disasters, nothing."
"You know, Lois, that's not exactly the worst thing in the world," Clark said. “It's kind of nice to not have multiple stories of death and destruction battling for the front page."
Lois rolled her eyes. Clark's innocence was endearing most of the time, but not when she was worried about having news to cover. "Yes, Clark, I know. But we can't just run a story that says, 'The Daily Planet is pleased to report that there was no crime in Metropolis today.'"
Perry held up a hand to stop their bickering. "Enough. Who's next? What's going on with sports?"
Lois had expected a lecture, or at the very least one of Perry's pointed looks, but…nothing. He simply nodded and moved on around the table.
After listening to the rest of story ideas, including a ridiculous pitch by Ralph revolving around a "tip" he had received that the mayor and the town council were running prostitution ring to fund the new city cleanup project, Perry ran through a couple of administrative details.
"Our last order of business," Perry said finally, "is the Society of Professional Journalists conference being held in Washington, DC on Monday through Wednesday of next week. As you all know, this is a great opportunity to network with reporters from around country and catch up on some of the latest happenings in the world of journalism. And every year the Daily Planet sends a handful of representatives."
Lois caught Clark's eyes and made a face. She had made no attempt in the past to hide her disgust for these types of events. While some reporters might see this as a chance for a three-day paid vacation, Lois Lane saw it as a waste of perfectly good time that could be used to actually write articles rather than just talk about it.
She was oblivious to the low murmur that went around the table as the reporters wondered aloud who would attend the conference this year. Lois tuned it all out, utterly uninterested in the internal politics of who would be selected. Instead, she let her mind drift back to Saturday night. Outwardly, she looked calm and slightly bored. Inwardly, she was anything but. Paul had gone back to California Sunday, fully convinced that she was happily settled in a relationship with her partner. Their playacting had been successful. She should be happy.
She was happy.
Really.
Lois squashed a twinge of disappointment and reminded herself that this was a good thing. She didn't *want* to be in a couple, and she certainly didn't want to be part of a couple that included Clark. He was her best friend, but that was it. Nothing more. What happened Saturday was just an act. Sure, certain parts may have been…enjoyable…but it was still just a game, and that was a *good* thing.
She felt Clark's eyes on her and looked up. He seemed to have sensed her discomfort, and his gaze held questions she wasn't able or willing to answer. Lois looked away, focusing her attention back on Perry. She felt Clark's eyes on her for another second, then he too looked back at Perry.
"This year's representatives will be Lois Lane, Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen-"
"What?!" Lois exclaimed over the din of disappointed voices. "I can't- We can't- We're busy! We can't just go gallivanting off to some conference in Timbuktu! There are stories to be written!"
"Now, hold your horses, Lois. First of all, I seem to remember you telling me a minute ago, that news was slow-"
"But something could happen any minute! An important story could break, and who would cover it-"
"Are you suggesting that with the three of you out of town there will be no one here capable of covering breaking news?"
Lois started to reply, but halted when she saw the conference table full of reporters looking at her with upraised eyebrows, awaiting her reply.
"But if it's one of *our* stories…" she marched on. "I know! Why don't you send Clark and Jimmy and someone else, and I'll stay here and keep an eye on things."
"No. And that's final. I'm the editor, I'm in charge of deciding who goes on this trip, and I say you're going. There are going to be a lot of interesting people there, Lois, maybe – if you stop complaining for five minutes – you'll even learn something."
Lois sputtered for a second in disbelief. Perry couldn't really expect her to spend an entire week in a boring hotel with a bunch of second-rate journalist socializing and pretending to be interested in the lame presentations, could he?
"All right, that's it for today. Everyone get back to work. Clark, Lois, Jimmy, your tickets and itineraries will be on your desks by lunchtime."
The other reporters in the rooms began to gather their things, grumbling under their breath about favoritism and some people not appreciating a good thing when they saw it.
Jimmy rambled an incoherent word of thanks to Perry and immediately began chattering to Lois and Clark about how much fun the trip would be and who did they think would be there, until Lois shut him up with an icy glare. Clark looked at Lois' helplessly and shrugged, making it clear that he thought there was nothing they could do to change the Chief's mind and that he thought they should just make the best of the situation. Lois sighed in frustration, then stalked back to her desk.
*****
Six days – and a million ineffective protests – later, Lois found herself entering the spectacular lobby of the Renaissance Mayflower Hotel in downtown DC.
Lois and Clark had spent the plane ride chatting and she had to admit that she was kind of starting to look forward to this mini-vacation. Nothing had broken on any of their stories, and it didn't look like anything was going happen while they were away. She still wasn't thrilled, but she supposed there were worse ways to spend a week.
Her other fear had been that after their pseudo-date last weekend, Clark would act weird around her. But he was the same old Clark, friendly as ever. So she could only imagine that he was unaffected by what had happened at the end of the night.
Stubbornly, she shoved aside the voice that wondered if she was truly relieved about that. After all, she hadn't been totally unaffected – if she was going to be completely honest with herself – so was it really fair that he felt nothing?
Lois fumbled in her bag for her printout Perry had given her with their room assignments. She was in a single, while Clark and Jimmy were supposed to share a double across the hall. However, the day before they left, Jimmy had announced that a friend of his who was interning at the Virginian Pilot was also going to be at the conference and that he was going to room with him.
The three were making their way to the counter to get their keys when Lois felt a hand clap down on her shoulder. "Hey! Look who's here! What are the chances?"
Lois turned slowly, not wanting to see the person she knew was standing there.
"Paul," she heard Clark say. "What a surprise. We didn't know you'd be here."
"Well, I could say the same for you."
Lois felt her stomach plummet. This was not good. This was very not good. She managed to croak out a greeting and quickly feigned a need for fresh air, half dragging Clark outside.
Lois leaned against the building for a minute, dazed. This could not be happening. Not that it would be so bad to have Paul at the conference.… After all, they would probably hardly ever see each other. But Paul still thought she and Clark were a couple, and there was no way she could tell him the truth now without looking even more pathetic than if she had just admitted to being single in the first place. They'd have to continue the act, but how could she ask Clark to do that? One night was one thing, but a whole week was something else entirely. She couldn't expect him to agree to something like that.
"Oh, Clark. This is bad," she said when she finally got her bearings.
"I know. I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to see with him again. If you're uncomfortable, maybe-"
"Not *that*, Clark!"
"What?" What else could it be? He had seen her face when she realized that she would have to spend the week with Paul.
"Clark, he thinks we're dating! Remember?!"
"So, we'll just have to keep up the act for awhile. He'll probably forget all about it. Besides, we told him that we were keeping it low key, so it's not like he's going to mention it to anyone."
"Oh, Clark. I don't know. I mean, I can't ask you to do that.” Lois shifted uncomfortably. If only there was another solution.
Clark raised an eyebrow and watched her for a minute.
Suddenly her face lit up. "We can tell him we've broken up!"
Clark seemed to process that for a second. "Lois, don't you think it will look a tad suspicious if we were a perfect, happy couple on Saturday night, and a week later we've broken up?"
"Couples break up all the time, Clark. Believe me, appearances can be deceiving," she said dryly.
"Is that really what you want to tell him, though? You want him to think that we broke up?"
"What other choice is there, Clark?!"
"We could keep this up for awhile. How hard can it be? It's not like we're actually going to spend any time with him. It's only a week!" Clark a hand through his hair, obviously agitated. Lois hated to admit it, but he was probably right. Unfortunately, he didn't look thrilled at the prospect of carrying on their little game.
"Clark…"
"Think about it, Lois. What good was this whole charade last week, if we've already broken up a week later?"
"Yeah…I just don't know…" The thought of continuing the act they had begun last weekend was thrilling at the same time it was horrifying. She'd had a wonderful time Saturday, and she couldn't deny that the idea of pretending to be Clark's girlfriend for a while was somewhat attractive. Her mind drifted back to thrill she had felt each time Clark touched her…held her hand…placed his hand on the small of her back…kissed her.…
She shook herself mentally and forced herself to remember that this was just a pretense. Clark was doing her a favor. He had only touched her in Paul's presence, and only in order to keep up the pretense. She was the one who had initiated the hand holding while they were alone, and she was the one who had inexplicably turned to receive his innocent kiss on her lips rather than her cheek. Clark was just doing this because he was a good friend, and if she was going to take advantage of his generous offer she was going to have to get her raging hormones under control.
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Lois asked, biting her bottom lip nervously.
"I'm sure, Lois," Clark said calmly. "Come on, let's get back inside. Let's go get our room keys and get settled in."
*****
Clark's heart skipped a beat and he forced his voice to remain calm as he assured her that he didn't mind continuing the pretense. He led her back into the building, silently debating whether this was the best or worst decision he had ever made.
Part of him – a big part, if he was honest about it – wanted to do cartwheels. Ever since Saturday night he had been trying to figure out how he was going to go back to normal after having tasted the ambrosia of life with Lois as his girlfriend. And now she was telling him that he didn't have to go back to normal. This may just be a role he was being asked to play, but it was the role of a lifetime, and he was determined to put in an Academy-award-winning performance. Not that playing the smitten boyfriend was actually going to take any acting ability….
He couldn't get over the fact that he would finally have an excuse to touch her, whisper to her in public and treat her the way he'd always wanted to treat her… And Lois would return the affection just as she had Saturday night. She would take his arm, laugh at his jokes and smile at him with that special smile…. But for her it *would* just be an act, and while she might return his affection, she wouldn't return his feelings. And the small, mutinous part of his mind that refused to be excited about this seemed to be focusing on that not-so-minor detail. As much as he wanted to pretend that this was real, that she *wanted* to be with him, that was not reality.
*****
Lois allowed Clark to lead her back into the building. They stopped just inside the massive doors and spotted Paul and Jimmy still talking across the room, near the front desk. Lois smiled at them willing herself to act natural.
Paul's gaze traveled from where Clark's hand rested on Lois arm up to Clark's face. He smiled and raised his eyebrows knowingly. Jimmy eyes darted back and forth from Paul's suggestive grin to the pair with a confused look.
Clark dropped his hand from her arm and cleared his throat.
"That's something I hadn't really thought about," Lois said quietly.
"What?"
"The look on Jimmy's face. Clark, I don't see how we're going to continue convincing Paul that we're a couple, without convincing everyone else who knows us of the same thing."
Clark paused for a second, his face crestfallen. "Would that be so horrible?" he asked quietly, his voice tinged with pain. "Everyone thinking that you're dating me?"
"Clark?" Lois was taken aback by the hurt tone in his voice. Certainly Clark didn't think that she was somehow ashamed of him. Could he? After all, he was her best friend, and she was proud of that. She loved spending time with him, and she'd never tried to hide their friendship.
"Never mind," Clark said, turning his attention to his bags, aimlessly rearranging his luggage.
Lois' heart lurched. Of course she hadn't thought about Clark's feelings in any of this.
"Clark, that's not what I meant," she said quietly, reaching to place her hand on his shoulder. "That's not what I meant at all. I just… I just feel terrible about this whole thing. I feel like… I feel like I'm already asking so much of you… If the rest of the newsroom discovers that we're 'dating,' it's just going to be one more complication that we're going to have sort out eventually."
Clark turned slowly to face her. "I'm sorry. You're right. We'll just have to try to somehow keep this as low key as possible while still convincing Paul."
"Well, hopefully we just won't see much of him. I mean, there are tons of people at the conference every year. How much time can we possibly have to spend with him?" Lois asked rhetorically, walking towards the front desk.
*****
