Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Master of Disguise 6/18

OMG! What luck! I was just checking one last time before heading out for the day and it's here!

As others have noted before, I'm distressed about Perry's fate.

I love how you handle Clark's reactions to Trask and how Lois dimisses those reactions by finding reasons she'd behave the same way. And her bravado on being caught is classic Lois. Especially this:

Loving this so far, your characterisation of people (both major and minor characters) using a first person narrative is amazing, not to mention you've got Lois spot on. I completely believe that this is what she'd be like given her current circumstances.

Hope she and Clark get Luthor and Trask dealt with quickly so they can get down to more important things

Looking forward to more

BJ, this continues to be just fabulous. Your characterizations are spot-on.

Bob

Ooh, a side-trip... well, sub-plot anyway.

So, the tear-jerking end to part 5 was not only emotional and in character, it *also* got Lois out of the living room so she could overhear and tape things and call the cops. Sweet! Speaking as a writer, that was well done.

And I can't help it, I love watching Lois watch Clark and mis-interpret his reactions. You're doing a great job of describing them so that we, the readers, know what's going on, but without special knowledge, Lois's assessments are perfectly logical. Like the longing look out the balcony window.

Actually, given his twisted premises, Trask's conclusions are pretty logical, too.

I am curious just how much an effect the kryptonite had on Clark; obviously there was an effect but I'm sure he's doing his best to obscure any lingering weakness.

When Lois was caught & recognized, I sort of expected her to do the "do you know who I'm married to" sort of deal. But on reflection, it's better that she's not relying on Lex here, but on her own abilities.

Glad they're teaming up. Can't wait to see how they work together on this. And of course I wonder if a revelation is in their future; my best guess is that yes, she'll know about Superman before the end of the story, but not just yet.

PJ

You're doing a great job, BJ. This is actually a believable setup, given that Clark didn't make it to Metropolis to work with Lois. And I agree that your Clark and your Lois are acting in character. I like seeing an aggressive Lois and a not-quite compliant Clark. And I also wonder if the green K will have a lingering effect on him.

Technical note: First-person is hard enough to do. This is first-person present tense! What are you trying to do, give us all inferiority complexes? Other than second-person - which is almost impossible to sustain in a story of any real length - first-person present tense is probably the most difficult way to tell a story we have in English, and you are doing a whiz-bang job of it. You're giving us background info as we need it without forcing it in, you're keeping the action flowing without getting lost in it, you're showing us Lois' thinking without getting her locked up in Hamlet-style mental paralysis, and you're keeping our attention on the story instead of your excellent technique. Bravo! Keep up the great work!

And the next part will be posted when?

Excellent story. Keep it coming!!

Artemis

Wow, that was extremely intense but why wasn't Clark more affected by the green-K? And now that Lois has phoned Lex, what's she going to do to vanish? After all, the random kidnapping of a billionaires trophy wife seems a bit coincidental now. Although it would be fun if Lex were to go after Trask, thinking he kidnapped Lois and left the note as a red herring. Last but not least, if Lois has her cell-phone turned on, wouldn't Lex be able to sort of pin-point her location. She IS using Lex-mobile as a cell-provider, isn't she?

Michael

This is excellent. I can't believe I waited so long to read all of this, but somehow I missed part one, caught part two but couldn't make sense of it, and didn't read anything after that. Now that I've read in order, this is fantabulous.


Elisabeth

Fair warning, I've started reading this on Elisabeth's recommendation.

James

James, it's a wise man who listens to his wife. And you're gonna love this.

PJ

Another excellent part! Wow, things are really starting to happen.

I love this part. As far as Trask, the soldiers, and Lois know, Clark is talking about Superman, a separate person. And yet we know Clark is talking about himself and telling the absolute truth.

Snappy comeback! I love Lois.

Ah, Lois! You just saved Clark! Another issue: since this fic is from Lois's POV, we don't know if Clark has come across kryptonite before. Did the same thing happen, with the tree falling down? Or is this the first time Clark has encountered green K, a nasty surprise to him? I hope that you can tell us later on in the fic.

Also, are his powers on the fritz right now? Or, thanks to Lois, was the exposure short enough that his loss of power was minuscule?

I'm assuming that Trask takes the box with him. But, when you upload this fic to the archive, could you please make that clear? Even though it makes sense for Trask to take the box, I'm left with a little niggling question about, "Well, maybe he forgot it in the rush." And yes, I know that's lame.

I love Lois. Again.

Uh, Lois....maybe knee-deep in research....but maybe, just maybe, flying around out there? Maybe trying to get that box of kryptonite into "protective custody" (which sounds so much better than stealing it from Trask, because we know that Superman doesn't steal.)

Oh, excellent! First, you give a very plausible reason why Lois would want to join up with Clark ("Trask is the perfect distraction"). And now from Clark's point of view:

Con: Lois is smart, and if she hangs around me too long she's likely to figure out the secret.

Pro: She's a world-renowned journalist who can help me figure out Trask. And she's not affected by the kryptonite - I already feel like I can trust her, and if I need her to handle the kryptonite she can do it. And, she fascinates me, and I fell in love with her at first sight. Sure! Anything that keeps Lois around me is great!

Ooh...the romance is starting. Now if we can just get Lex in prison and Trask taken care of....there's lots of obstacles yet for our doughty pair!

Your fic is really holding my interest. Well written, good plot, excellent characterization, sly humor at the complications of the secret identity - it's got it all!

Please post more soon.

Oh my...When Elisabeth told me that this was a great story, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed.

My Beloved has a gift for understatement, apparently.

This story ROCKS!

I only have one little niggle.

Lois should have swept Clark's house for bugs. If Clark is getting to be that big a thorn, he should have tried to bug Kent's place.

Of course there wouldn't be any, because Clark would have found them and gotten rid of them.

Lois should be surprised at the lack of electronic bugs.

Of course, that would get rid of the whole naive key under the mat scene...

James, who can't wait for the next installment.

Taking a break from my writing, I found your story. I like this storyline, and will be reading it as you continue. I'll be interested in how Lois will walk the tightrope of investigating Luthor and pretending to be the 'devoted' wife.

Max

It's been over a week now. Where's the next part? Huh? Huh? Where is it?

another great part and to echo Sue's comment....Where is the next part?

Feedback, the nectar of the gods.

Terry Thanks for the affirmation on the set-up and the characterization. It's appreciated.
Me too. I think the aggressiveness is one of Lois' defining characteristics and isn't it Clark's standing up to her that makes the relationship work? Without it, Lois wouldn't respect him as much as she does.

Regarding the technical note Yes, I think I've discovered how difficult it is to sustain a long story in the first-person present tense and I'm glad that I've caught all of those past-tense verbs that kept slipping into the story. Thanks for your complimentary and funny praise. /me chuckles at the 'Hamlet-style mental paralysis'...

Artemis Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Michael Thanks for reading and providing such thoughtful questions. They reveal more about what I've written than you'd think. As for the answers to your questions... coincidence, schmoincidence. What better chance to nab the billionaire's wife then when she's three-thousand miles away?

Elisabeth Thanks for giving the story a second chance and providing comments. Oh, and for pimping the story to James.

Mr. D8a Thanks for picking up the story and for providing comments. I've gone back to part 5 and revised a couple of paragraphs to incorporate your suggestions about Lois sweeping Clark's place for surveillance devices. See how well I listen? Thanks again for the praise.

IolantheAlias Thanks for the feedback about the double-meanings in Clark's words. It's incredibly fun to write.
Maybe. Maybe not. RAFO!
Erm, yeah. Sorry about that. I've revised the paragraph in part 6 to make it more clear that Trask takes the Kryptonite with him.

Love the pro and con argument you lay out. I'm glad that you can get into Clark's head, even though the story is from Lois' perspective. Stay tuned for more.

Max Thanks for reading and for letting me know what you think. I can't (read won't) really tell you about how Lois handles Lex from now on, but I will say that you'll find out later.

Sue Hey, hi there. It's been over a week, you say. Heh...how about that? /me pulls on collar to loosen it. OK, I'll do my best to get part 7 posted soon.

Robinson Thanks for the fdk and the nudge.

Brenda