Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: 100 Meters

Wait! Get back here, Bob! If ever anything screamed for a sequel - this is it!

How could you suck us in and then leave us hanging like that?

My only hope is that because there's no "1/1" designation on the post, there's actually a second or third part... Right?

I second Sue. I want -1m.

Michael

Yeah, what Sue said.

What three words?

I love you.

Lois, I'm Clark.

I am Clark.

Clark's not dead.

Clark is dead.

Superman is Clark.

Clark says hi.

I hate you.

You hate me.

Marry me, Lois.

Jump off a cliff. [Okay that's four and Lois would say them].

Take a long flight into space without an air tank. [Again Lois and more than three.]

So seriously. Get back here.

Any other three word suggestions?
Carol [who notices Michael read this! ]

Nicely done, Bob. But it does need a resolution.
Start with -1 meter. Any reason for meters instead of yards?
Yes, we need another post.

Artemis

Where's the rest of it???

It's a great (half!) story, Bob. Well done. The closing distance thing worked wonderfully. Switching from one to the other was very effective.

But could we please see part 2?


And ... I didn't think Americans used metres (Aus spelling )

Hey! A new Olympic discipline! Superman tries to make Lois let him in! Wow! He is giving her the puppy dog look, no, he is just being tenacious! He is wearing her down! She is giving in! Window is opening!



He made it!



He made it!

Now, of course, we wonder what will happen after he reached the finishing line!

Ann

Yes, I want to know the three words!

James

Actually, I thought the unresolved tension at the end, and the "not-telling" of the three words made the story. Excellent vignette, bobbart. You portrayed the anguish and heartache on both sides so well, in so few words. As others have said, switching the POV every 10 meters was an inspired choice. Taut and well-written. Nicely done.

I'm with Io on this one. I liked the ending.

The very fact that I am used to the American measuring system means I associated the title with a race or swimming event, just as Ann shows in her post. As I began to read, and saw it wasn't about sports, I thought, "Oh, I get it!"

Nice story.

Very nice, but...

I yell,
You yell,
We all yell
For a sequel.

Nice little vignette, Bob. I really liked it. After all this time, it's hard to come up with a unique TOGOM story, but you did very well.

I loved the back and forth between the two of them and I'm with Vicki and Iolan - it doesn't require a sequel. I am also wondering about what three words Clark thinks will change Lois' mind, but that's what makes this story so great as is.

Of course, if you decide to give the gentle readers more, I certainly won't complain <bg>.
BJ

First, thank you all for the FDK. Before I go on, I have to share a most unusual Sunday afternoon. It went a little like this:

***~~~***
<Bob> Huh?
<Nondescript Delivery Person> Bob?
<Bob> Yes.
<NDP> I have a story for you.
<Bob> Great! I've been waiting for that for 2 days. (Looks at package.) Wait. This isn't what I ordered.
<NDP> (Checks records.) It says here you placed an order for a "super short" and a different order for "an original idea for a TOGoM" story. Congratulations pal, you got both together.
<Bob> But I placed those orders months ago and they were never filled. I'm waiting on Chapter 6 for the sequel to Luck and Consequences.
<NDP> Sorry. This is what I have.
<Bob> But I don't want this now. Can I exchange it for Chapter 6?
<NDP> I'm in delivery, not production. Besides, we have a strict no exchanges policy.
<Bob> But what am I supposed to do with this.
<NDP> Well, you can just put it on the shelf but... (Comes closer and lowers voice) You won't get another delivery until you do something with this. (Pointing at story.) If you ask me, if you want that Chapter 6 thing to be delivered, you better do something about this first.
<Bob> (Looking over story.) Well, okay.
(NDP turns to leave.)
<Bob> Hold it! Where's the rest.
<NDP> (Turning back.) That's it.
<Bob> It can't be. My stories always end with Lois and Clark in each other's arm's or holding hands or something like that. I at least have to leave them friendly and talking.
<NDP> Not this time.
<Bob> (Looking over the story again.) Well... okay. But you at least have to tell me about the three words. What are they?
<NDP> Beat's me. Delivery, remember.
<Bob> Hold it. I need to know what those words are.
<NDP> Nah. Think of it as an artistic ending. You know, reader suspense and all that.
<Bob> Well, it is a nice little piece.
<NDP> So if you're done, I have places to go.
<Bob> Wait, is there a sequel?
<NDP> How should I know? Do I look like I'm carrying anything else today? If I can go now...
<Bob> Hold it. What about Chapter 6?
<NDP> I suggest you take care of that first. (Points at story again.) I'm sure Chapter 6 will be along in time. And by the way, your more recent deliveries are sure a lot more entertaining than those ideas that I used to bring you in college about quantum mechanics and gravity. That stuff was *so* dry.
***~~~***

Anyway, that's what happened. (Well, sort of...) This hit me completely out of the blue with no warning. Also, it arrived fully formed. This only took about 15 minutes to write. (Plus a little more time to adjust the wording.) Usually I stew over ideas for days or sometimes weeks before they hit paper.

Sue: I hope this can hold you for a while. Thanks for the FDK.

Michael: Thanks. But this is all I got.

Carol: I loved your ideas. And, for the record, the NDP told me in the utmost confidence that there were two sets of three words being thrown around in production before the decision was made to stop at 0 meters. Both of those sets are on your list.

Artemis: I wish I could say there was more, but this really looks to be it.

Female Hawk: Thanks. But I have been assured that this is the whole story. As for meters, I was trained as a Physicist. I've never gotten over the fact that the all of my education was based on the SI units that the whole rest of the world uses except my own country. I guess this is my one little plea to join the rest of the civilized world and use standard units. While I was in school I never imagined how valuable it would be to know that there are 25.4 microns in a mil (1/1000 of an inch).

Hi Ann: I like the race imagery. However, my vision was more of a fuse burning down (as in to a bomb) or count down to a rocket launch or an explosion.

Hi James! It's good to hear from you. Those three words. Hmmm. Well, there are some really good words in Carol's list.

IolantheAlias: Thank you so much.

Vicki: Thank you. To be honest, it seems funny that now that it has been mentioned, I see the "race" tie-in. When I came up with the title, I never once thought of a race. I guess it shows that I'm not a track or swimming fan.

AnKS: Well, if NDP shows up unexpectedly there might be a sequel but for my part I'm not holding my breath.

BJ: Thanks. TOGoM has been done so many times and so well that I promised myself that I wouldn't go anywhere near it unless I had something that at least felt a little bit original.

Bob
(Who has now gone back to anxiously awaiting the NDP to bring Chapter 6.)

So your muse is a guy in a uniform? That's really original! Hey, it was a cute story. And you get more distance between them using meters, since a meter is 1.093614 yards. And meters does sound better. I'll trade a sequel to this for a sequel to "Luck and Consequences" any day. Waiting for Chapter 6 you say? How about posting the first five, eh?

Artemis

I thought this was done. I liked it very much. As for the three words, I thought it was an idiom. Of course, I suppose the real idiom is "if she lets me get a word in." Hmmm.... I suppose I'm not a discerning enough reader. I suppose I can live with that though.

So here's the official feedback: "simpleton likes story."


Elisabeth

Hi Artemis. Yeah, my muse is a UPS Truck Driver. I would love to have a more "interesting" muse but that's just the way it is. However, it makes it much easier to get mad and curse in their general direction when no deliveries arrive. As for the LaC sequel, it's still quite a way out. My approach is to write the whole thing once. Then revisit it and rewrite it from top to bottom a second time. Only then does it start a beta cycle. I'm still in pass one. I'm afraid it's still months away. I think that's why “100 Meters” showed up. I'm not trying to develop anything else right now but who knows when I'll hear a knock on the door again?

Elisabeth: Thank you. Actually, the "three words" did start out as an idiom. My original draft said either "four words" or "a few words". I don't remember which. As I was doing the final revisions, I got to wondering about what he might say and a list of possibilities shot though my head that was startlingly similar to the list Carol included above. I realized very quickly that many of the possibilities were three-word phrases. Therefore, it became three words. I wonder now if it would not have been better to stay with a more idiomatic phrase such as your "if she lets me get a word in". Hmmm... I have no plans for a follow-on or a sequel. However, it the darn NDP shows up again and forces one on me, perhaps we'll find out that it's really not three words after all.

Bob

Wow. That's why your stories are so tightly knit. I'm more the "monkeys at the typewriter" kind of author. Which is why my output is so low!
Here's hoping for the UPS guy to show up!

Artemis

This whole thing was a story in itself and a very amusing one! I wonder if I can sign up with UPS too and get that Nondescript Delivery Person to bring me story ideas?

(It reminds me of a science fiction writer - I think Barry B. Longyear. He was always asked where he got his ideas. One day he snapped and from then on he said that he got his ideas from Schenectady.)

Oh, I don't know, bobbart! I'd certainly like to see some of those quantum mechanic ideas in an L&C story!

Man this was great, I am sorry there isn't more.

Artemis: "tightly knit"? Thanks! Honestly, much of the time it feels like my stories barely achieve a loose weave.

IolantheAlias: I'm glad you enjoyed the delivery story. Like "100 Meters" it just sort of showed up out of the blue. I can't help but wonder if I should include it as an Author's Note for the archive. As for those inspirations I used to get back in college, you do have me thinking about a way to work in Higgs field manipulation by the KEs as the basis of some of the powers. Hmmm...

cp33: Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. In the week since this arrived I have to admit that I've become more and more tempted to try for the "rest of the story". Unfortunately, there are two problems:
1. I like this as is. I don't want to add something and risk devaluing this piece just for the sake of finishing the story.
2. TOGoM is special. "100 Meters" showed up unexpectedly and just seemed to work. I have a standing agreement with myself that I won't do anything with TOGoM unless I think I have produced a piece that is worthy of this most special of settings. To get written, the rest of the story would have to be special.

Bob

Dear Bobbart:

I agree that you should try and work the delivery story in as an author's note when you upload to the archive. It's too delicious not to.

Higgs field manipulation: I went to wikipedia and started reading about Higgs field. That was an exercise in incomprehensibility so I went back a few steps and read about fermions and bosons.

I see that this has room for a story. (Or more than one.) The trouble is that only you could write it. Therefore, by Superman rules, you must do it. Because you can.

You have "explaining powers" far beyond those of mortal men. Disguised as a mild-mannered engineer, you spring into action when we require a story involving subatomic particles, Bose-Einstein condensates, or the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. This saves us from lame pseudo-scientific musings and inane technobabble.

No, actually, all kidding aside, I would be extremely interested to read a story involving the Higgs field. I've always liked hard SF stories ever since I read "Mission of Gravity" by Hal Clement. The works of Robert Forward were great too (I particularly liked "Dragon's Egg" and and "Camelot 30K".) Another recent memorable read was "Saturn's Children" by Charles Stross.

I am always amazed at the sheer bravura of the ideas in the hard SF field. It's tough to work in the concepts, explain them to the reader, and still keep the story going. So, if you can actually work it out, I'll be reading it!

I'll close with my favorite bumper sticker: It proudly proclaimed "Heisenberg May Have Slept Here."