Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Richochet 7

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

Okay back .

/mutters/ Guess this means I'll have to post Shaken sometime soon unless I hold out for 8...

Oh. Right. Ricochet!

Very nice. I loved how both times have Clark with a difficult rescue and both Loises are there for him. Them? Whatever.

And both Clarks fall asleep with Lois and how much it means to both of them - for different reasons.

So... We're getting 8 when? Tonight? Tomorrow at the latest right?

Oh - and as for recovering snippets from emails? BTDT

More now is good!
Carol

Oh, that was just intensely heartbreakingly tragic and beautiful and lovely!

Poor Clark, he just can't deal with Lois right now... well, not the Lois that he thinks he knows. But the Lois who is waiting for him is different.

Love it. Clark is still in dead-tired resistance mode. Lois is so... you know, I think she is like Martha here.

Yes. She really is like Martha. How many times did Martha pull off Clark's wellies when he was little? And when she was done, she touched his cheek to show him how much she loved him.

And when her little Clark came in all wet, Martha gave him a hot bath.

Yes, because here and now Lois is taking care of him just like Martha did.

And Clark just half-realizes that he desperately needs this Lois, even if he is a little slow on the uptake.



Don't leave me, Lois! Don't leave me! Don't leave me!

So beautiful. I can lose myself in a paragraph like this, reading it over and over.

I love how you write Clark's intense need. I'm so moved by this portrait of a hero who has done so much for other people, but afterwards desperately needs to be comforted himself.

I love how you paint this world of night and sleep as an otherworldly dimension of soft blue light, cottony snow, whispering sheets and a beloved woman known fully only in dreams, who cradles her loved one in her arms like a mother her child.

Me too.

Well, I guess there is one thing left that they haven't tried yet!

I just love this tiny little piece of realism. What was his name again? Stables or Gables? It gets even funnier when you think of the meaning of the names in English. Was kind of house-thing was it?







(But Lois, you shouldn't even joke about killing Mayson. What could she fantasize about doing to Mayson instead of killing her, though? I heard about an Arab curse somewhere, 'May the fleas from thousands of camels haunt your armpits'. Maybe Lois could get Star to utter that curse...?)

It was heartbreaking to read about how 1998 Clark heroically did whatever rescue work he could at a disaster scene where so many were already dead, and the reporter kept repeating that Superman was pretty useless because he couldn't revive the dead.

And Plois decides to be there for Flark, just as Flois had been there for Plark!

Beautiful. I love it.

I love how this scene mirrors the one with Flois and Plark. Unlike Flois, Plois doesn't know what Clark needs. And yet, she knows it.

Beautiful. Lovely.

Flois was spooning Plark. Flark is spooning Plois. But in either case, Clark so needs Lois to stay with him.

Well, something good really came out of that pheromone episode!

Isn't this, well, heartachingly beauiful?

First his heart ached with love. Now, when she loves him back, it lurched. I love it.

I love the sexiness of the alternative version, but on the whole I prefer the gentler and more poignant 'first' version. It's not as if there wasn't any sexual tension in the first version, but under the circumstances, Clark needed to receive comfort and Lois needed to give comfort in a way that made too much naked skin a distraction.

Ann

Yeah, what Ann said. This was really lovely, Sue... Neither of the Clarks are expecting comfort, since Plark isn't yet married and Flark knows Lois isn't his wife... and yet, there they are. No matter what time period, she loves him, and he needs her.

Lovely.

PJ
(who, btw, feels like an idiot typing Plark and Flark but doesn't have any better way to make the distinction...)

Blame us! Blame us!
I did like the rewrite of 1995 with the shower, although there I missed the set up of PLois driving through the snow and hearing about the pile up. I think that section would work good in the final version. The 1998 section was heartwrenching and very tender. So keep it coming!!!

Artemis

Awww I loved it!
At the beginning I worried that if anything were to happen between Flark and Plois / Plark and Flois then that would be almost like cheating and as a result uncomfortable to read. That just hasn't been the case so far, it's touching and I'm completely hooked.

I hope you realise you've created a monster now

Btw, when do we get the next part?

Love it! Thanks for posting your rough draft - I think you did the right thing - the part of your story that made the final cut is just so much more!
Can't wait for part 8.

Ditto to Pam. It's just lovely that in any time loop, no matter how much everything changes, they still need each other.

great part,
jd
who hopes she just typed a complete sentence up there lol. I grin that you finally posted on the day that I moved.

OMG!!

This chapter was incredible! I don't even care if they don't get back to their 'appropriate' times, I love how they are appreciating each other, even it's not their 'true' counterparts. LOVE THIS FIC!!!

First things first: Thank you *so* much for posting your original draft for us! Especially because I know how much time you spend getting your story just-so before you feel comfortable posting (and even then you say you have to force yourself to press that Post button), I just feel honored that you would do this for us. THANK YOU again.

My comments on the original story-line? LOL! I can *so* see that happening. I see Lois almost on auto-pilot here. She's on a mission to get Clark stripped down and in a hot shower, as she has obviously done many times before. And Clark's reaction was priceless.

So, on to the final version. Beautiful, just beautiful. Ditto to what everyone else has said. I LOVED IT!

I found Bellarata's and Sjp's comments interesting, because I had been spending the time between postings doing some more musing on the whole "Is it cheating to be with your past/future spouse?" issue. What started me thinking about this again was GamesAway's post on another thread about the alt-Universe fanfic Through the Window.

Through the Window presented a much trickier situation. Alt-Clark is NOT Clark. This Clark is Clark, and Lois is Lois. I finally decided it would be sort of like having one of them bump his (or her) head and get a very strange amnesia which makes him forget the past 3 years of his life. Once I thought about it that way, I realized they could, theoretically, remain in their mixed-up times and it wouldn't be the end of the world. Of course, I much prefer to see everyone back where (or when) they belong.

So... when is part 8?

Feedback! Y'all left me some feedback!

Carol - I think you're definitely going to have to post some Shaken now. Sorry, but there's no getting around it. :p

Ann - Wow! Thank you for replying at length! You were very good to pick up on this: Exactly! Flois is much more mellow and supportive. It's not that Plois can't be mellow or supportive (as we saw), but she never had the opportunity before (or even knew that the opportunity existed).

I'm not sure I'd say Lois was like Martha in that part (although I do think that Clark married someone just like his mom). I well remember being about three months pregnant and nauseated to the extreme when my husband picked me up from work late one night. He took me home (stopping once on the way so I could be sick outside the car) and put me in the bath. The feeling was comparable to parent/child, but I never once confused him with my dad (or mom). What I remember of the incident, and what I was giving Clark, was the simple comfort of having someone you love and trust take care of you. Awww, that was poetry, Ann. Thank you!

Pam - LOL - yeah, it does feel weird to type Flark and Plark, but it's so much less confusing that way. I started doing it because that was how alcyone referred to them when she was helping me plot the story out last summer. You're absolutely right - no matter what time they're in, they need each other.

Artemis - I'm glad you're accepting blame so fully. I took out Lois' POV on the first part because I thought it needed to be more about Clark. Her actions, through his eyes, could speak for her.

sjp - Yes, I had the same worries about cheating/uncomfortable to read. I'm so glad that it's working for you (so far - heh).

GamesAway - New reader! <insert dorky happy dance> Thank you for understanding why I changed the story. Sometimes what seems good in your head when you first sketch it out, doesn't quite work when you actually get to that part of the story.

Jen - Of course you're moving! That's a power I wield hesitantly, knowing that the simple act of posting can cause you to seek shelter elsewhere. So where's the crazy roommate/neighbor story to explain what necessitated the move?

bellarata - Yay! You said the magic words: I don't even care if they don't get back to their 'appropriate' times, <chortles with glee> I was hoping that someone (besides me) would get to that point. I'd even go so far as to argue that, no matter what time they're in, they still are each other's "true" counterpart.

Vicki - First things first - a round of applause for Vicki, y'all. Way back in the day (the summer of 2006) when I was still a newbie on this board and was trying to get my second story de-nfic'd (would you believe spell check doesn't recognize that word?) so I could post it on the regular fic boards, Vicki generously volunteered to help me out. So when she says that she knows how paranoid I am about posting, she's speaking from experience.

It makes me giggle (still, some more) that you're still pondering the cheating angle. Lord knows, I've spent months doing it and I still vacillate over the answer. If they're not actually married (at the same time), then it's sort of cheating. Maybe. <sigh>

Thank you all for commenting. I really do appreciate hearing your thoughts. It was entirely due to some of your comments that I rethought and rewrote this part. So now you have definitive proof of how you've all helped this story.

Aww. That was sweet. I guess past Lois is starting to get used to the idea at last and realize that Clark/Superman isn't the all-powerful god-in-a-cape, without human failings after all, and that she really does love him.

Hopefully Future Lois won't mess up her past too ferociously, and I still want to know how HG Wells and/or the time police are going to undo this mess, or if they even can.

Let's see some more, yesterday if possible.

Nan

Hahaha. I've actually got some great neighbor stories—you guys just wouldn't believe the things I've heard over the past three months—but it was for work actually. I finished my post-grad studies, so there was really no reason to be so far away from some of my clients.

But never fear, I have a travel-active profession. I'm sure you'll be able to wield your power at least once more sometime.
JD
:p

I'm glad you listened to our pleas and gave us both parts. However, I humbly admit that you were right, and your revisions just made me have all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings.

I loved the parallels between the past and future versions of the couples. Both Loises knew how to provide comfort to their Clarks and it was nice to see that they did so in very similar ways.

I'm still struggling with the adultery fine line. I think the actions of both couples teetered on this line, and I would hope when they are reunited with their right partner, they practise full disclosure.

I'm really curious as to why this switch has happened. The one theory I'm leaning towards is that this event will help Lois and Clark realize what they have. But, I can't help worry what knowing the future will do to past Lois and Clark. On the one hand, it may be comforting to know that things will work out. However, it may add to the pressure of a relationship just on the brink.

Enough of my rambling. Can we have the next part soon pretty please?

For me, the first half of this part is the highlight of the story so far.

The story is great - this bit was sensational. I loved Lois's slightly maternal air - she would feel older and more experienced than Plark. She knew what he needed and lovingly took control of the situation. His response was classic.

Love it so far and the alt version too. Still want nfic, but you know me<g> More soon. Laura

Faced with a huge pile of work or the opportunity to slack off for a half hour before I try to wade through the stuff that didn't magically fix itself in my absence, well, I guess you can all tell which way I went. Besides, it's feedback. Feedback! That nectar of the gods that has the same halcyonic quality as Percocet but without the lethargic side effects.

Nan - Awww, HG Wells did this up for a reason, why in heaven's name would he want to try and undo it now? I vacillated over cutting that bit with Wells at the first of the story because I wondered if it would be better to leave the reader as equally in the dark as the two Loisi. You've just affirmed my reasoning for leaving it there.

Jen - Just a heads up, I have three other stories partially written. Don't unpack everything just yet. :p

grinch - Thank you! I'm glad the revision gave you warm and fuzzies. I don't think they've even come close to adultery though, all the touching (and even the undressing) was non-sexual. As far as full disclosure goes, I'm giggling at the thought. "Hey, Clark, while I was gone I held the younger you while you slept. Hope you're okay with that." Your theory about having Lois and Clark realize what they've got isn't too far off the mark. At least, it's partially what's going on.

Female Hawk - I did a little dance when I read that this part had been the highlight for you. Having Flois comfort Plark and having Plois learning to comfort Flark was one of the first things I wrote. For me, though, the "highlight" is yet to come.

Laura - Yes, I know what you want. And we're getting there.

Thanks again for coming along on the ride with me, you guys.

Wow. When I finished reading this part the first time, I was speechless. I wanted to leave feedback, but I literally had nothing to say because it was just so great. I can't believe that's the result when you are so nervous about posting!

On the second time through, I was able to manage some actual feedback. It struck me as somewhat amusing that Plois was driving. I mean, I understand it's her car, but it's so quintessential Lois that her whole world can be turned upside down yet she'll still be the one driving the Jeep.

The way that Plois has been able to adjust to everything sort of makes you wonder if things would have been different if Clark had told Lois everything sooner - not just his secret, but that he loved her. Of course, Plois hasn't had a choice but to deal with things in this reality, but maybe Clark should have had a little more faith in Lois.

Gosh, even the second time through, my biggest reaction is wow.

I'm not sure it even matters to me what you write anymore, just please post more! (Okay, so maybe it matters a little, but more soon please!)

Amber

I am still very much enjoying this story and I am very curious as to where you are going with it.

Please post soon! Seeing both versions here was great!
Fuzzy

I remember that you once said that you love 'hurt/comfort' stories. Well, anyone who read this part of your current fic would have to have a heart of stone not to love this take of hurt and comfort!

Ann

Count me among those who voted that they prefer the new section over the old. Even among the yearning and the need for comfort, there was an uncomfortable overtone to the old writing that wasn't there in the new.

Brava! Well written.


Elisabeth