Okay - well, since Sue posted Ricochet 7... I really should hold out for Ricochet 8 since I posted Shaken 1-3 between Ricochet 6 and 7, but I have a feeling I'd get lynched...
Thanks, as always, to Nancy, Beth, Alisha and Queenie.
And thanks to James for reminding me I could send Clark and Lana to Latislan! /ducks/
Last time:
They stayed like that for a long moment before Clark spoke again. "So what'll you say?"
"To what?"
"If I ask you to marry me before we're twenty."
"As long as we're at the same school, I'd probably say yes. If we're at different schools halfway across the country..."
"Well, yeah, but probably? Only probably?"
Lois sighed. "I love you. I know we just said it for the first time, but I think I've known it forever. And I'm going to marry you. But if you propose to me the week after graduation, will I be ready for that? Will you? Will *we*? That's still so young. I *am* going to marry you, but will that be the right time?" She shrugged against him. "I don't know. I hope we've talked enough before you actually do ask that we'll both know it's the right time."
"I do, too, because I don't think I could take the rejection."
"I won't reject you. Not for any reason. Unless maybe you're hiding some big secret from me and you spring it on me the night before the wedding. Then maybe."
Clark was silent for a long moment. "What if I sprung some big secret on you after I proposed but long before the wedding and you thought it was a kinda cool secret?"
"What kinds of secrets do you have, Clark Kent? You didn't make Eagle Scout?"
He chuckled. "No, nothing like that. Just curious. In the abstract."
She shrugged. "As long as you're not secretly married to Lana, I think we'll be good."
Chapter 4"I can't believe I'm not going to see you for two weeks." Clark sighed and held her a little tighter to him.
Lois shifted on the quilt in the hayloft, nestling in closer beside him. "I know."
"We won't get to see each other for Christmas or New Year's."
"Maybe next year..." Lois sighed. "Somehow I don't think we'll get to spend Christmas together until after we get married."
"Probably not."
They lay there together, their quiet conversation often interrupted by gentle kisses, for another hour.
"Do you want your gift now?" Clark asked.
Lois leaned up on her elbow. "Gift? Gimme!"
Clark laughed and went to get a small box out of the cabinet. "Here."
Lois sat up and took it from him. "Thank you. I don't have yours with me, though."
"That's okay."
Lois ripped open the wrapping paper and glanced at Clark, slightly puzzled by the velvet box.
"Don't worry; it's not a ring or anything."
She opened it slowly. "Clark! It's beautiful." She took the heart-shaped pendant out of the box, its delicate chain dangling from her hand.
Clark took it from her and helped her put it on.
"Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but technically, it's a mother's necklace. I couldn’t find what I wanted any other way. They make what they call couples pendants, but they didn't have any in Parsons or Independence."
Lois looked down at the two stones nestled on one side of the heart, near a row of tiny diamonds. "What are the stones?"
"Well, the purple one is an amethyst. That's February's birthstone. And the sapphire is September's, for your birthday. I could have gotten our names put on it, but I thought I'd leave it more simple for now at least. Unless you want me to. I can take it in and get it done."
"It's perfect. Thank you," she said, kissing him softly.
"And I know we haven't really talked about kids someday," he said when they both pulled back, "but if or when we do have kids, we can put their birthstones on there if you want to, but we don't have to. It's complete the way it is – you and me." He kissed her again.
"Do you want to have kids?" Lois asked him, settling in front of him, leaning against his chest.
"Yeah," he answered quietly, wrapping his arms around her. "I do. You?"
She shrugged. "I've never really thought too much about it. I mean, I figured I'd grow up and have a family, but only in that vague generalities way, not really seriously. I always thought I'd start my career first."
"Best investigative reporter for the Daily Planet."
"Yep. And you're going to be right there with me."
"I am." He sighed. "I need to get you home." He helped her up and pulled her into his arms.
"I know."
"I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you more."
"I doubt that."
"We're disgusting, you know that?"
"Sure do, sugarlips," Clark told her with a grin. "But you love me anyway."
Lois sighed. "I do."
"Remember those words, Ms. Lane," Clark told her, kissing her again. "You're going to need them."
"You better believe I will."
*****
"Happy Birthday, Clark." Lois held out the box.
He took it from her and carefully slid his finger under the edge of the paper.
Lois sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just open it."
Clark laughed and ripped the paper off. "My birthday's not until tomorrow."
"I know but you have to work. What's Maisie thinking making you work on your birthday?" she groused.
"That I need Friday night off for the basketball game and Saturday night off because I'm taking you out. So I have to work tomorrow night."
Lois sighed. "Fine."
He opened the box and pulled out the leather bound journal. "Lois, this is great!"
She shrugged. "You like writing long-hand a lot more than I do. I thought you might use it to write your short stories in or something. Technically, it's a journal but you can use it for whatever you want."
"Thank you." He set the book on the side table. "I love it."
She moved back next to him on the couch and pulled the blanket back over them. "Are you ever going to let me read some of them?"
"Some of what?"
"Your short stories. I mean, I know you write them, and you've read a couple of mine, but I've never read any of yours."
Clark was quiet for a long moment. "I know. I've got some that you can read if you want to."
Lois moved, turning to look at him. "What is it? Why don't you want me to read them? It's not like I'm going to make photocopies and stick them around school or post them on the Internet or anything."
Clark sighed and tried to get her to move back towards him but she refused. "It's not that. No one's ever read them – not my folks, not Pete, not anyone. And it's mostly young teen boy angst stuff that I'm not sure I'm ready to share those with anyone."
"Not even me?" Tears sprang to her eyes and she mentally cursed at herself, willing the tears to stay where they were.
He shook his head, reaching out to lightly cup her face in his hand. "No. Not even you," he said quietly. "Not yet."
One tear followed another and he brushed them away with his thumb.
"Why not?" she whispered. "I thought we trusted each other."
"I *do* trust you," he told her earnestly. "It's not that. I'm just not ready to share most of them with *anyone*, but I swear to you, the only person who'll ever read them is you."
Lois closed her eyes and shrugged. "If you say so."
He looked at the clock. "I have to go. I'm going to be late, but I don't want to leave you like this."
She shrugged again and moved away from him, standing up and trying to surreptitiously wipe her cheeks dry.
His arms came around her and he pulled her back to his chest. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Really, I am and one day I'll be happy to let you read them but not yet."
She moved away from him. "It's fine. Whenever."
Clark sighed, his shoulders slumped as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I love you."
"I know," Lois said, busily folding the blanket they'd been using. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He slung his backpack over one shoulder and picked up the book. He moved in front of her and pressed his lips to her head. "I love you," he murmured against her hair.
She didn't say anything for a long moment. "I know you do."
He kissed her head again and then left.
Lois waited until the door closed behind him and then fled to her room.
*****
Clark didn’t even notice as the screen door slammed shut behind him.
He tossed his backpack onto the couch and headed to the kitchen to get something to drink.
And a piece of pie.
He took a big slice of apple pie and put it on a plate, loading it down with ice cream.
The chair thunked when he moved it and he sat down heavily, just staring at the plate in front of him.
"Want to talk about it?"
He looked up to see his mom standing in the doorway.
She tied her robe more securely over her pajamas and poured two glasses of buttermilk before he answered.
"I hurt Lois," he said finally. "I promised her – and me – that I'd never hurt her but I did and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't *un*hurt her and I can't fix it. Not now." He sighed and picked up a spoonful of ice cream and pie. "She was trying not to cry when I left and I heard her run up to her room and start bawling. Because of me."
He stuck the whole spoonful in his mouth and suddenly wished he could get a brain freeze. That he could hurt, physically, just a bit.
"Why'd you hurt her? And why can't you fix it?" Martha set one of the glasses in front of her son and she took a seat across the table.
"She gave me this great leather notebook to write stories in." He poked a hole in the ice cream with his spoon. "And then she asked if I'd let her read some of them. I've read a few of the stories she's written and they're really good. I don't know if they're publishable good, but she's definitely a great writer." He took another big bite.
"And?"
He swallowed. "And virtually all of the stories I've written are about a teenage boy who's an alien who looks human and can do all kinds of things no one else can. She thinks it's just because I don't trust her, but that's not it at all."
"Ah," she said, understanding crossing her face. "And you're not ready to tell her?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "They're all very well hidden so you don’t have to worry about that; no one will find them. And, really, are you ready for me to tell her? Is Dad? Will Dad *ever* be ready for me to tell her?"
"He wants you to be happy and Lois makes you happy." She covered one of his hands with hers. "And that means that, someday, you're going to marry her and that means that at some point, *before* the wedding, you're going to tell her. He knows that. He doesn't like the *theory* of telling anyone else, but he loves Lois. You know that."
Clark nodded. "I know. But is now the time? I *hate* that I'm keeping anything from her. It's not like I lie to her about stuff to cover it up or anything – maybe once or twice when I got somewhere a little too fast, but that's it. And I don't like that. Part of me is afraid by the time I do tell her in a few years, she won't be able to forgive me because I've lied to her for so long."
"Well," Martha said slowly. "Maybe it's time. If you're right, and Lois really is the girl for you, then maybe it's time you told her."
"I can just hear Dad." His voice deepened slightly. "'But by the same token, if she's really the girl for you, when you finally tell her, she'll understand why you didn't tell her sooner'."
Martha chuckled. "You don't sound very much like him, but that does sound like something he'd say."
"So what do I do?" Clark sighed. "Do I tell her and hope that everything I believe about her is true and hope that she's not a closet xenophobe who's going to out me to the government? Do I wait and hope that she can forgive me when I do tell her?"
"I don't know, sweetie. It's up to you. If you think you should tell her now, then maybe you should. If that's what you decide you think you should do then I'd hope you'd at least tell me and Dad first, talk to us about it, about why and how you came to that decision. But it's your decision."
"Thanks, Mom. Sorry I woke you up."
Martha took her empty glass to the sink and came to stand behind him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her chin on his head. "I love you, Clark. It's why I'm here. To help with teenage angst."
Clark smiled slightly. "Thanks. I love you, too." He sighed heavily again. "She didn’t even tell me she loved me when I left. I told her I loved her. She said she knew. Twice we did that. But she never told me she loved me."
"I'm not sure if this qualifies as your first fight or not, but it's the first time you've hurt her like this. Give her time."
"How does that work? Do I take her flowers in the morning? Do I wait by her locker like usual? Do I kiss her when I see her? What?"
"Well, flowers are rarely a bad idea and the rest... Try normal and see how she responds. Go from there." She kissed the back of his head. "But now, I've got to get back to bed. I love you, sweetie."
"Love you, too."
She ruffled his hair as she moved towards the stairs. "Don't be up too late."
"I won't."
Clark sighed again and dug back into his snack.
*****
There was a knock on the door, but Lois ignored it.
"Lois, honey, are you okay?"
Mom.
How did moms always know?
"I'm fine," she called, hugging the black and white teddy bear closer to her and trying to stifle the hiccups.
"I'm coming in," her mom warned.
Lois sighed and pushed herself up until she was leaning against the wall.
"Fine." She swiped at her cheeks as her mom opened the door.
Ellen closed the door quietly behind her and sat next to Lois on the bed, one arm wrapping around her daughter's shoulders.
"Want to talk about it?"
Lois shrugged. "It's stupid. It's beyond stupid."
"But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." They sat for a few moments, Lois leaning her head against her mom's shoulder. "Did you have a fight with Clark?"
"Not really," Lois said with a shrug, picking at the ear of the bear Clark had won for her at the Corn Festival the previous fall. "I gave him his birthday present. He loved it. I asked if he was ever going to let me read any of his short stories and he said no."
"He's not *ever* going to let you read *any* of them?" Ellen sounded skeptical.
Lois sighed. "Not exactly. He said he had a few I could read, but I know he's written lots of them and he said he's not going to let me read the others until some undetermined point in the future because he's not ready to share them with anyone. But if he ever let's anyone read them, it'll be me. Or something."
"Don't you have some that you don't want to let him read?"
Lois was glad her cheeks were already red from crying; hopefully her mom wouldn't notice her blushing, too. "A few, but most of them he can. He's read a few already. This is way the other way around and it's stupid to be this hurt by this. It's a few short stories. It's not like he's cheating on me."
"Why do you think it hurts?"
Lois rolled her eyes. "You're doing your psychologist reflecting junk on me."
"Well?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I got the feeling there was more to it than just a couple of stories, that maybe he's keeping something from me, but I have no idea why I felt that way or what it could be. And I love him and so he's supposed to share things with me. I feel like he doesn't trust me or something."
"Did he say that?"
"No. He said he does trust me, but that he's not ready to share with anyone."
Ellen sighed and gently rubbed her hand up and down Lois' arm. "I worry about you two being so serious so young."
"You and Daddy were."
"Not really. The first time we dated, before he moved, we weren't all that serious. We both thought it *could* turn into something, but we were best friends who went out regularly and kissed. We didn't talk about marriage or kids or anything like that. And don't think we haven't noticed which two birthstones are on the necklace he gave you for Christmas either, so don't think you can say you two haven't talked long-term more than once."
"So I'm going to marry Clark someday. So what? You were going to marry Daddy when you were seventeen. We're not planning on getting married right out of high school."
"It's two very different situations and you know it." Ellen pulled away from Lois enough to look at her face. "Unless you're..."
"Mom! No!" Lois shook her head vehemently. "No."
Ellen moved back to her side. "Well, it was very different and you know it. Claude..." She sighed. "Claude was a smooth talking French foreign exchange student who was there when I was lonely and missing your dad. Looking back, in a perverse kind of way, I think that's part of the reason why I had sex with him. Your dad and I hadn't and I was looking for something about as far away from your dad as I could get. Don't get me wrong, he didn't rape me or anything like that. I said yes, but I wished I hadn't almost immediately. I still don't know why I said yes the other two times, but I did. It wouldn’t have mattered, though. I got pregnant the first night."
She sighed. "That's why your dad and I were going to get married. Because I was pregnant, not because... we could or something like that. After the miscarriage, we waited a couple more years before we finally got married."
"I'm so sorry, Mom. I know that was a painful time for you, but it's not like that with me and Clark. Yes, we're going to get married, but we're not having sex and we're not going to. Not until we do get married. He promised me on our first date that he wouldn't push me and we agreed that we were going to wait until our wedding night. So me getting pregnant at seventeen isn't something to be concerned about. And even if I did, Clark's *not* Claude. He loves me. He'd marry me and we'd work together to take care of the baby and finish school and everything else."
"Well, I still worry about you. You're my baby. You always will be."
"I know."
"So why does it hurt?"
"Because even though he says he trusts me, it still feels like he doesn't."
"Probably. Is that something you can live with?"
"It has to be."
"Why?"
"Because I can't live without Clark. And don't get all melodramatic on me," Lois hurried on. "It's a turn of phrase. If my choices are to live without really understanding why he won't trust me with this but keep Clark in my life or to tell him it's some kind of deal-breaker and have him leave... It's a no-brainer, Mom. I find a way to deal with him not wanting to share these with me and move on."
"That sounds like a wise choice to me."
"Thanks, Mom."
Ellen kissed Lois' forehead. "Get some sleep."
"I'll try."
"I love you, sweetheart. More than you'll ever know."
"I know, Mom. I love you, too."
They stood and Ellen gave her a long hug. "See you in the morning, sweetie."
Ellen left and Lois changed into her pajamas before crawling under the covers.
She finally fell asleep holding Clarkie Bear to her.
*****
Lois was at school earlier than usual. She hadn't slept well the night before and had been up much earlier than was her norm. She opened Clark's locker and put his birthday card where he'd see it when he opened it so he'd know that she wasn't mad at him.
Hurt?
Yes.
Mad?
No.
Not really.
Kind of.
But not to the point that she wanted to break up or ruin his birthday or anything like that.
She was organizing her things in her locker, getting ready for the day when suddenly a red rose appeared in front of her.
She could feel Clark standing near her as she took a deep breath, inhaling the fragrance. She turned to see him standing there, holding it out to her.
"This is for you," he said, almost shyly. "I'm sorry about last night. I'm so sorry that I hurt you."
"But not sorry enough to change your mind?" she asked softly.
He took a step towards her. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Lois. I swore I would never do that and I didn't mean to, but no. I'm not going to change my mind. Not now. Someday but not yet."
After a long moment she nodded and took the rose from him. "Okay. I don't like it, but okay. And I don't want to ruin your birthday by talking about it all day, so can we just move on?"
He nodded. "Yeah. If that's what you want."
She hesitated slightly. "It's what I want." She looked at her watch. "I have time to run this home, if that's okay with you. I don't really want to leave it in my locker all day."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
She shook her head. "No, that's okay. I'll be back in a few minutes." She leaned up, barely brushing the corner of his lips with hers before she slammed her locker shut and walked off.
*****
Clark sighed and ran hand through his hair as he watched Lois walk away. He'd been up most of the night, arguing back and forth with himself over what to do.
Eventually, he'd come to the conclusion that the prior decision was the right one.
For now, even if it hurt her, he couldn’t tell her. Not yet.
He wasn't ready for that. His parents weren't ready for that.
He knew he wouldn't be able to handle the rejection if she freaked out and until he was out of high school and able to move on if she did make it public, he wasn't willing to take the risk.
Not that he really thought she'd do something like that, but in their many conversations about this very thing, his dad had drilled in deep that you never really knew what someone might think. For all Clark knew, her grandpa had engrained a deep sense of xenophobia in her or something and unless and until he was willing to take the risk of rejection and exposure, it was better not to tell her – whoever 'her' happened to be in the scenario.
He headed towards his locker to find Lana leaning against it.
"Happy birthday," she said holding out an envelope.
He took it from her. "Thanks."
"Trouble in paradise?"
He looked up. "What?"
"You and Lois. You seem upset. She just took off for home. Doesn't take a rocket scientist."
"It's nothing for you to worry about." He wasn't sure exactly where they stood, but it wasn't any of Lana's business. "We're fine." He turned the knob until he could pop his locker open.
He smiled when he saw the card sitting there and absentmindedly set Lana's down. He picked up the one with the familiar writing on it and turned it over, opening it carefully.
It was obvious it had been sealed and then reopened and taped back shut.
He groaned at the picture on the front. It was a little green man in a space ship hovering over what he thought was supposed to be Mars and said 'Happy Birthday' in big green letters. He opened it and read the type on the inside. 'Hope your birthday is out of this world.'
'I love you,' it read. 'Happy Birthday. I hope we get to spend a lifetime of them together. Lois.'
A piece of paper had fallen out and he opened it.
'I wrote that the other day. I don't get what happened last night and I still feel like you don't trust me for some reason and I don't get it. But I love you. And if it comes down to pushing the issue over some stupid short stories or having you in my life, it's no contest. You win. I love you. I think I've always loved you and I know I always will. Lois.'
He smiled as he carefully put the card back in the envelope.
The warning bell rang and he hurried to get his things together.
"Aren't you going to open mine?" Lana asked, irritated.
He'd forgotten she was there.
"Sorry," he said, slightly chagrinned. "I'll open it later. Thanks."
He slammed his locker shut and headed towards his first class, his step immeasurably lighter than it had been when he'd arrived on campus.
She still loved him.
That was all he needed to know for now.
*****
TBC
Necklace
