Thanks, as always, to Alisha, Nancy, Beth and Queenie.
I have managed to write about 6 words on the ESF fic. Stellar. I've also got UP edited [again] and have started going through OTOH again. Man, that's going to take forever - again. I've gone through it once or twice already... /sigh/
Anyway - here tis
.
Last time:
What she saw stopped her short. "Clark?" she whispered, peering into the crater.
He was there, curled up in a ball in the bottom of the trench he dug.
Martha and Jonathan appeared at her side. Seconds later, they were scrambling down into the hole. Lois led the charge, oblivious that most of his clothes had burned up at some point before he landed.
"Clark," she whispered, her hand resting on the side of his face. "Clark, look at me." She felt for a pulse. "He's alive," she said, relief evident in her voice. "Clark, come on, sweetheart. Wake up."
He groaned suddenly and moved just a bit.
Tears continued to stream down her cheeks as she closed her eyes in relief.
"Clark, honey, wake up." Martha was on his other side.
He shifted again, just a bit and opened his eyes. He looked from one to the other and back again. He licked his lips and finally spoke.
"Who are you?" He looked back and forth again. "Who am *I*?"
Chapter 10Lois leaned her head against the window of Jonathan's truck.
They'd helped Clark out of the hole and into the bed of the truck where Lois had covered him with a blanket and cradled his head as Jonathan drove them home. They'd managed to get him up to his room, where he'd collapsed and slept until finally Lois had to leave to go home.
"We'll call you when he wakes up," Jonathan said. "Or have him call you." He rolled to a stop in front of her house.
"Thanks."
He reached over and squeezed her hand. "He's going to be fine," he told her, trying to convince himself as much as her.
"I know." She squeezed his hand back. "Thanks, Jonathan." She climbed out of the truck and headed wearily into the house. She'd dozed for a bit on the couch, but she was ready to sleep for about two days straight.
She headed straight up to her room, grateful she was still wearing Clark's clothes from the morning before. She crawled under the covers, holding tightly to the little black and white bear.
There was a knock on her door. "Lois?"
She sighed and swiped at her cheeks. "Come in."
Ellen's face was impassive, then concerned. "What is it, honey?"
Lois shrugged. They'd agreed that, if she needed or wanted to, she would tell her parents Clark had fallen in the barn and hurt his head, but that he had an irrational fear of hospitals and insisted he was okay.
Lois pushed up until she was sitting against the wall. "Please don't start with me, Mom. I know I should have told you that Clark and I were going to spend a couple days together – and I was at the farm with his parents all day yesterday. We were planning on spending all day today here with you guys – at least until the asteroid exploded. But Clark got hurt yesterday and I'm really not up for a fight."
Ellen crawled onto the bed and sat next to her. "You're right. We're not happy about the way you handled the last two days, but we did talk to Martha and Jonathan and knew you guys were there yesterday and Martha said that even though you two were planning on spending the night together, you still weren't having sex until after you get married, though I'm not entirely certain why Clark felt the need to mention that specifically."
"Do you not remember the look on Daddy's face last summer?" she asked incredulously.
Ellen winced slightly. "Good point." She sighed. "What happened to Clark? Is he okay?"
She shrugged. "Physically, he seems fine. He hit his head and was fine – he refused to go to the hospital to make sure he didn't have a concussion. Apparently, he has a hospital phobia none of us knew about. Anyway, he dozed off late last evening. Neither of us slept much the night before, not with the whole world ending thing. So after he dozed off, he woke up and doesn't remember anything. I mean, he knows how to walk and talk and all that, but he doesn't know who he is, who I am, who his parents are."
Ellen's brow furrowed. "That's odd. Amnesia?"
Lois nodded. "He went back to sleep pretty quickly and was still asleep when Jonathan and I left to come home. I'm not going to school today or tomorrow," she said suddenly. "Even if you ground me or something. I'm hoping to get some sleep today but unless Clark's better..."
"They canceled classes for the rest of the week."
"Good."
Ellen kissed the side of her head. "Why don't you get some sleep and we'll talk more later? I'll call Martha and see if there's anything I can do."
"You mean your psychology reflecting junk might come in handy?" Lois tried to hide her smile.
"You never know. It just might."
"I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, sweetie. Get some sleep."
Lois nodded and slid back under the covers as Ellen stood up. She turned back and pulled the covers up over Lois before leaving.
Lois held the little bear tightly tears streaking down her cheeks until she finally fell into a restless sleep.
*****
Clark groaned and rolled over.
"Clark?" Martha was sitting in his desk chair, watching over him.
"Hello?" he whispered.
"How're you feeling?" she asked, handing him a glass of water.
He took a few sips. "Okay, I think."
"Do you know who I am?"
He hesitated and then nodded. "You're my mom, right?"
"So you don't really remember?" she asked, her face falling.
"No," he whispered. "I'm sorry, but I don't."
"Well, what do you remember?"
His brow furrowed as he thought. "I remember dark, but that's it. I mean, obviously, I know how to do stuff but I don't remember anything about who I am or who you are or who that girl was."
"Lois," Martha told him quietly.
"Lois," he repeated. "Who is she? My sister?"
Martha smiled at that. "No, honey. She's your girlfriend. She has been for about a year and a half and you two are very much in love."
He nodded. "Okay. And the guy who was here was Dad?"
"Yes. He's out on the farm somewhere now. He took Lois home a little while ago. She's going to be in enough trouble as it is."
"Why?"
"Because you two spent all day and all night together the day before yesterday and they didn't know that she was going to be out all night and then she was here all day yesterday."
"Oh." His brow furrowed again. "Why did we spend the night together?"
She sighed. "There was an asteroid heading towards Earth. It was supposed to hit in a couple days and would probably wipe out life as we knew it."
"Is it still coming?"
She hesitated and shook her head. "No. It exploded yesterday. We're all safe."
"That's good."
She nodded. "Are you hungry?" she asked suddenly.
He thought for a moment. "I don't think I am, but I want to eat."
"Why don't I go make you something? You can take a shower and get dressed."
He nodded. "Okay. Thanks... Mom."
He took a long shower and got dressed, but couldn't figure out how to shave. There wasn't even a razor in the bathroom that appeared to be his alone.
He headed downstairs to find a big breakfast waiting for him, along with both of his parents. They were sitting at the table and he sat across from them, digging into the food.
It wasn't long before it was virtually gone.
"Thank you," he said. "That was really good."
They were holding hands, both silent and serious. He could understand that if their son suddenly didn't remember them.
"Ellen called," Martha said suddenly. "She's Lois' mom and she's a psychologist. Lois told her that you hurt your head and didn't remember anything. She wants to come over and see if she can help. How do you feel about that?"
He shrugged. "I don't know her; I don't *remember* her." He sighed. "I think I should defer to your judgment. What do you think?"
They glanced at each other. "I don't think it could hurt," Jonathan said. "We trust the Lanes."
"The Lanes?"
"Lois' family. Their last name is Lane."
"Ah." The silence turned slightly uncomfortable. "Um, I couldn't find a razor," he said suddenly. "Shouldn't I clean up a bit if my girlfriend's mom is coming over?"
They exchanged another glance. "I think that, given the circumstances, you're fine," Jonathan told him. "We'll talk about it later."
"They'll be here in about half an hour," Martha said. "Lois wanted to come check on you if nothing else."
"I feel like I should remember her," he said quietly, swirling the last bit of his buttermilk in the bottom of his glass. "I mean, I feel like I should remember you guys, too, of course, but in a different way."
"Well," Jonathan said slowly. "She's the most important person in your life. You love her. You're going to marry her someday. You've known that for years. It makes sense you feel differently about her than you do about us."
He frowned. "I thought I'd been dating her for eighteen months." They nodded. "So how have I known for years that I was going to marry her?"
Martha gave a wistful smile. "You came home one day when you were in first grade and announced that you'd met the woman you were going to marry. At first, I thought maybe you were talking about your teacher, but the more you talked the more I realized you meant this little girl you'd met that day. Apparently, she kicked you out of the sandbox and you two ended up rescuing Lana together. It was love at first sight."
"Oh."
Tires crunched in the driveway.
Clark looked at the clock. "I guess they're early."
*****
Lois was still wearing Clark's clothes as she climbed out of her mom's car. She hadn't been able to bring herself to change out of them.
After greetings – and introductions for Clark's sake – Ellen and Clark headed out onto the porch to talk.
"How is he?" Lois asked quietly.
"Asking how to shave," Jonathan told her.
"He doesn't use a regular razor does he?"
"No," Martha said, "but we decided not to tell him any of that stuff until after he talked to your mom."
Lois nodded. "I miss him," she said suddenly. "I mean, I know he's right there, but I miss Clark already."
Martha moved to sit next to her, putting her arm around Lois' shoulders. "I know, sweetie."
None of them said much during the hour or so that Ellen and Clark spoke, each absorbed in their own thoughts.
They all looked up as Ellen and Clark walked in.
Lois tried to keep tears from her eyes as Clark sat in one of the chairs. Normally, he would have been at her side – there was plenty of room.
Ellen sighed. "Clark said I can tell you guys anything. He's not technically a client, but... I'm certain that the amnesia is psychological, not physical. I'd like Sam to come out and look him over anyway, just to be sure, but I've never seen anything like this. I've read about cases of amnesia, but I've never treated one. He remembers everything but personal details. He knows how to do Algebra and could answer questions about the periodic table of elements and who the first president was and how the Electoral College works. Personally, I'm impressed he could explain the Electoral College. Very few people understand it." She shook her head slightly. "But he doesn't know *how* he knows those things. He doesn't remember school or people or anything like that. We flipped through the year book and a few people and places looked or felt familiar, but that was it."
"So what now?" Martha asked, gently rubbing Lois' shoulder.
"Surround him with familiar people and places. If he's not better by Monday, go to school anyway. He and Lois are in all the same classes, so she can help him with that. Look at pictures of growing up, of the two of them together. As much as Sam and I, and possibly the two of you, aren't incredibly happy about how serious they are at this age, there's never been any question that Lois was one of the most important things in Clark's life. Lois can tell him about a lot of things that you probably can't because she's been such a huge part of his life and she knows school and things like that that you don't. You two can go through old photo albums with him, talk about growing up, family vacations, things like that."
"How long before he remembers?" Lois asked quietly, tears still threatening.
"There's no timeline, honey," Ellen said softly. "There's no way to know what will trigger his memory. It could be a picture or a place or a phrase that means something to the two of you. You just need to be patient and, as much as we were planning on grounding you for the little stunt you two pulled staying out for two days without talking to us, I don't think that would be good for Clark. I think spending time with the *three* of you is probably the best thing for him at the moment."
Lois breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."
Ellen stood. "I'm going to head back to town. Sam closed the office for the rest of the week, emergencies only are paging him. I'll have him come back out after I get there, if that's okay with you guys."
Martha and Jonathan exchanged a glance then nodded. "That's fine," Martha told her. "Thank you so much, Ellen."
"I wish I had a magic cure," Ellen said.
The rest of them stood and said goodbye. Lois gave her mom a big hug. "Thanks, Mom."
"We'll talk about grounding when he's better," Ellen told her with a smile. "Love you. Daddy'll be here in a little while."
"Thanks."
She left and Lois and the three Kents went into the kitchen.
"So," Clark started. "Where do we start?"
*****
Lois sat on the porch swing. Clark was inside with his parents looking through a photo album from when they went to Niagara Falls when he was ten.
Her dad had come by, bringing a bag with him. He'd said it was okay if she stayed the weekend with the Kents, as long as she was home by Sunday night. He'd also given Clark a clean bill of health which hadn't surprised any of them, except maybe the patient.
She gazed out at the night sky, not looking up when the door opened. The swing creaked as someone sat next to her.
Whoever it was didn't speak, but she knew who it was without looking.
"Anything?" she finally asked.
"No," Clark said quietly. "A few things that were sort of familiar, like a dream you can't quite remember, but that's it."
"I'm sorry. This has to be horrible for you."
He reached towards her hand, stopping short of taking it choosing instead to let his hand rest on the swing. "It can't be easy for you either."
She shrugged. "It's not my memories that are missing."
"No, but it is your boyfriend."
Lois played idly with the promise ring he'd given her. "No. You're right here," she said quietly, thinking that it wasn't her boyfriend but rather her husband that was missing and wishing she could tell him that. That she could kiss him and make love to him and hope that those things helped him remember.
He reached for her hand again, hesitating for a moment before taking it lightly in his own. "I'm still sorry I don't remember you. I want to. I feel like I should. And I feel... good around you and I wonder what it is that makes me feel that way."
A tear streaked down Lois' cheek.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I don't think I like to see you cry."
Lois smiled slightly. "You don't. You hate it when I cry."
"What do I usually do?"
"Depends on why I'm crying."
"Right now. What would I do right now?"
She shrugged.
"Please."
Lois sighed. "You'd sit next to me and put your arm around me and just let me cry for a while, probably." She hesitated. "Eventually, you'd kiss me and I'd feel better."
He sat there for a few minutes more before sliding towards her, wrapping an arm around her. "I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Still."
Images of the two of them at the Lexor, floating above the bed the second time they made love, flooded her mind and she stood abruptly. She wanted to be close to him, closer than she could be and she couldn't deal with that.
"I think I'm going to go to bed," she said. "I'll see you in the morning."
He stood behind her. "Wait."
"What?" she asked, not turning around.
"What is it?"
She shook her head. "It's nothing."
"No, it's not. I may not remember much, but I know that's not true."
She sighed. "It's just that you're not my Clark right now. You are but you aren't and I don't know how much I should tell you versus let you remember for yourself. And right now all I want to do is kiss you and I can't do that because you don't remember me." She didn't wait for him to respond but walked inside, grabbing the bag her dad had brought and heading for the bathroom.
When she came back out, dressed in her favorite pajamas, she found Clark sitting on the couch, a pillow and blanket on one end.
"Take my room," he said without looking at her.
"It's okay. It's a comfortable couch."
"I have this feeling my parents raised me better than that. I'll be fine. Take it. Seriously."
She nodded. "Thanks."
"Good night."
"Good night," she said softly, heading up the stairs. She stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to look at him one more time. "I love you," she whispered.
He looked up and smiled slightly at her.
She turned and went to his room, closing the door behind her and leaning against it. She struggled against the constant threat of tears, for the moment winning the battle. She set her suitcase next to the desk and slumped in the chair.
Write.
She needed to write some of this down, to express her frustrations on paper because there was no one she could truly talk to. She wasn't ready to tell anyone about the wedding. Not yet. Not until Clark could tell them with her.
She opened the center drawer to look for a piece of paper and a pen, but instead found something else.
The leather bound journal she'd given him for his birthday. On top of it, held in place with a rubber band, was a slip of paper with her name on it.
She lost the new battle with the tears as she pulled it out of the drawer. She pulled the slip of paper out and opened it.
'Lois, love, if you find this or my parents give it to you, then something happened to me. Know that my love is forever. I've known since I met you that you were the only one for me and I can't imagine my life without you. Yesterday, this morning, they were the best moments of my life – being with you was more than I could have ever imagined. You're my best friend, my one true love, my wife, my heart. To marry you and leave you in such a short time breaks my heart. As much as it hurts me to say, I hope you can find someone to share the rest of your life with – maybe not anytime soon, but eventually. You deserve to be loved.'
Tears streamed down her cheeks. 'I know I hurt you deeply the night you gave this to me and I hope you understand now why I wasn’t ready to share that yet. It wasn't because I didn't love you or trust you or anything like that. This has turned into a journal of sorts, starting that night. I want you to have it. I want you to have anything of mine that you want – as my wife, the money in my bank account should be yours, the truck, and anything else you want... I don't have much, but what I have is yours.
'I love you, Lois, more than you'll ever know. I've loved you since the beginning, sweetheart, and I will love you until the end and beyond. Forever your husband, Clark'
She ran her hand over the front cover, trying to bring herself to open it but she couldn't. She reached over and clicked the light switch off, picking up both the book and the bear her mom had packed before heading towards Clark's bed.
She slid under the covers and, holding both of them to her, cried herself to sleep.
*****
TBC
