The Return of Ultra Woman
Chapter 12
As I’m sitting here with my mouth hanging open, one thought keeps running through my mind.
This isn’t fair!
Clark went all those years and never had an, “I’ve got you dead to rights” moment like this. I’ve only made one appearance and Perry is calling me out. This is plain *not* fair!
My mind is still spinning when I hear Perry’s voice again. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t say that as some sort of test. You would have failed miserably. Now, are you going to explain what this is all about?”
“Perry, I…” Even as I consider trying to lie my way out of this, I realize that even if I could, I don’t want to. Perry is one of the very best friends Clark and I have. He wouldn’t have approached me in this way unless he already knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what was happening. So, the lie I’m attempting to formulate dies in my throat and I take another tack.
“Please don’t tell me the new suit is that bad of a disguise,” I plea.
He looks mildly surprised at the obvious distress in my voice. “No Lois. If I hadn’t already known Clark was Superman and you had been Ultra Woman last time, I don’t think I would recognize you based on seeing you in the new suit. By the way, it’s a great look. Where did you get it?”
“Um, Clark’s mom made it.”
He look is one of amusement and a touch of shock. “You’re kidding!”
“No. Actually, Martha makes all the Superman suits.”
He’s just smiling and shaking his head as I ask, “Perry, how long have you known?”
Now his expression shifts to something that brings to mind smug satisfaction. “Honey, I’ve known for a few years. I have the advantage of having been watching Clark ever since he started. In a way I’m embarrassed I didn’t figure it out sooner. I mean, those lame excuses he was always giving back in the early days. Then when you two started getting serious about each other, it was hard to miss that all of the sudden you were helping to make up those excuses when he needed to make a sudden exit. I do have to admit that somehow I didn’t recognize you as Ultra Woman when you appeared the first time.”
At this Perry stops and gives me a particularly odd look. “By the way, what are you doing with powers like Superman? I’ve seen you hurt before and I know you didn’t used to be super powered.”
“Perry, it’s a long story. I promise if you’d like, Clark and I will give you the whole thing later. But please tell me if you think my identity is blown based on what happened today. If my appearance has revealed Superman’s identity to the world, I need to take steps for all of us to disappear immediately.”
Now he looks shocked! “Are you serious? You would just disappear?”
“Not just us. The Kents will have to disappear too. To be honest we didn’t think about my family. The Kent’s raised Clark and too many crazies might go after them for either being traitors to the human race or just because they’re his parents. We always figured that since my parents were only in-laws, they wouldn’t be so much at risk. Now that I’ve appeared again as…”
“Lois calm down. I haven’t seen you babble like this in a long time. You’re safe. The new disguise is very good. I think it’s much better than the old Ultra Woman costume.”
“If the disguise is so good, why are we having this conversation?”
“Like I said, I’ve known who Clark was for a few years.”
I just have to ask. “What tipped you off?”
“I think it was a lot of things. Right off the bat, I was always wondering about those lame excuses and his sudden exits. I think the point where I really put the pieces together was during the new Kryptonian thing. You and Clark were finally about to get married. Then, Superman had to leave for New Krypton and Clark disappears as well. The next thing I know you show up dressed as a harem girl with Superman. I mean really Lois, what was I supposed to think?” Now he’s giving me a, “Give me credit for some intelligence,” look.
“I thought everyone bought the idea I did it just to get the inside story on the Kryptonians.”
“I think most people did. But I saw how you had been acting during the time after Superman left. I’ve never seen you so distraught. It was hard not to notice that Superman and Clark disappeared at the same time. Then I saw how much your spirit lifted when Superman came back. Honey, I’d been watching you around Clark, and your spirit lifted in a way that seemed like you had your fiance back. Since then, there have been a few things that I didn’t understand, but on the whole the pieces all fit.”
“But Perry, how did you figure out I was Ultra Woman? You said you didn’t recognize me the first time and you didn’t think anyone would be able to tell it was me today.”
Now the relaxed smile is back. “Well, that was a long time ago. When I was trying to prove to myself if Clark was Superman, I pulled out the best photos of Superman from our archives. Then I compared them to the pictures from one of the ‘Hottest Team in Town’ publicity campaigns we ran. When I looked at just his face it wasn’t hard to see that Superman and Clark are the same person. The photo archives of our Superman shots also had our few pictures of Ultra Woman. I happened to pick up her photo while the Lane and Kent shots were also right in front of me. It was mostly by accident. I was holding the picture of Ultra Woman and happened to pick up a Lane and Kent photo and just sort of muttered ‘And what happened to her?’ to Clark’s picture. My eyes wandered over a few inches to your face and I just about fell out of my chair.”
I still can’t get over how casually he’s taking this. Then I realize he’s been sitting on possibly the biggest news story in the world. “Once you figured it out, were you tempted to tell the story?”
“Are you kidding? You two are family. Even if I would have figured it out at the very beginning, I’d like to think that after considering all sides of the issue, I’d have killed the story. By the time I knew what was going on, you two were together. I knew immediately it would ruin your lives if Superman’s identity got out.”
It was time to get to the heart of the matter. “Perry, why are we having this talk now?”
Now he seems to get particularly serious. “Last time you appeared as Ultra Woman, it was for a short time. But even then, for that week I noticed all the sudden you were the one making up bad excuses and running off. At the time I just thought is was a combination of coincidence and your trying to get the first interview with the new hero in town.”
Perry stopped suddenly as if he just remembered something. “Lois, what was that all about? It never made any sense and could you at least give me a brief explanation for what happened then?”
“I guess the short answer is that Clark’s powers were temporarily transferred to me. Ultra Woman was only around until Clark got his powers back. If you think carefully, Superman didn’t do anything ‘super’ while Ultra Woman was around.”
Perry looked as happy as if someone just told him an Elvis story he had never heard before. “Really! That’s amazing! But I know Superman is in Guatemala. Who’s powers do you have this time?”
“These powers are my own. Look, Perry, like I said, it’s complicated. You remember the bomb attempt where my car got blown up in the parking garage?”
“Of course. I just figured Clark had saved you.”
“No. Clark was some distance away and playing with Lara when I triggered the bomb. I only survived it because I had already… I guess ‘acquired my own powers’ is the easiest way to say it.” We’ve wandered off-topic. I’m answering questions when I need to be asking them. “Can we get back to the matter at hand? Why did you decide to tell me what you know today?” My voice was probably more forceful than necessary but I need to know where Perry is coming from.
He gets a very calm look on his face. “Lara.”
“What about Lara?”
“Lois, what happens if something comes up and somehow both Superman and Ultra Woman are needed?”
“Our idea was to have my mom or dad pick her up. We’re hoping it won’t come to that. Besides, well, Ultra Woman will be announcing she is only available on a part time basis.”
“But what if something were to happen to the two of you when you are off doing… your ‘super’ stuff? Lois, I love you kids, and when I saw you were back in *that* business I just felt I had to let you know I was in on the secret. I only mention it because someday there might be a situation where I can help, if only you and Clark know to ask. Like I said, I can at least be available to help out with Lara.”
He is so sweet. I think it will make some things easier right away. Perry is already on the list of people allowed to pick up Lara. We’ve even done it a couple of times just to make sure Lara knows that sometimes other people take her to visit their house before she comes home. And, not having to make excuses to Perry sure will cut down on the lame-excuse count. Then it hits me that my last excuse was of no value at all.
“You knew all along Clark didn’t go to cover the Guatemala story!”
He just smiles casually back at me. “Of course.”
“Then why did you give me all the flack about questioning our judgment on this? You knew that he had no choice.”
“But you didn’t know I knew. Lois, I’ve worked hard to respect Clark’s secret. I know you two maintain it for a reason. Right after I figured it out, I decided that until you either told me yourselves or found out I knew, I would do my best to go along with your cover stories. You have to admit that my reaction was appropriate based on what I was supposed to know.”
He’s right. Even now that I know he was in on the secret, all of his reactions over the years still seem to be correct. “So, where do we go from here?” I ask.
“Darlin’, I didn’t break the secret to cause a problem. I did it to make sure you know that both of you can count on my help when you need it, without having to worry about what you might be revealing. It was mostly about that little girl down in the day care center, but I want you to know I’m here to help in any way I can.”
“Thanks, Perry.”
He picks up Jimmy’s picture again and stares at it for a moment. “I’ve got this fabulous picture. I don’t imagine Ultra Woman was quite so accommodating for any other photographers.”
“Um… no, she wasn’t.”
“Good. I need a story to go with this and somehow I think we might have the best information available on her debut. So why don’t you go and finish that story.”
I stand up to leave. “Thanks – for everything. And, for the record, I’m glad you know.”
He actually starts to blush at this. “Well, I expect a long sit-down with you and Clark before too long where I get the rest of the story. I especially want to know how you ended up with powers like your husband. But for now, got out there and finish my front page!”
“Right Chief!”
TBC
Bob
