From Part 1:
Clark sighed and pulled a chair out for her to sit on. “It’s not a real date,” he told her as she took the hint and sat beside him.
Lois let out a small laugh of partial relief. “Oh. What is it then?”
“It’s me helping out your sister. She was supposed to be having a dinner with her recently-married friend and her husband. Trouble is, Lucy’s latest beau is behind bars, so I agreed to pretend to be her new boyfriend for the evening.”
“Still, why would you do that?”
He chuckled. “Because I’m a boy scout and like helping people out. So can we borrow your Jeep?”
“I’ll think about it,” Lois told him, suddenly feeling much happier about the situation. So Clark was just being Clark and Lucy was pretty much just being Lucy. It was a shame really, Clark would be good for Lucy but she was amazed at how glad she was that it was all a sham. She wasn’t going to dwell on that, however. Clark *wasn’t* dating Lucy, or Mayson, or anyone and that was good enough for her. Was it wrong of her to want it to stay that way forever?*.*.*.
Part Two*.*.*.
“He is the most singularly dull person I have ever had the misfortune to meet,” Lucy groaned as soon as her friend’s cab had driven out of sight with the happy couple safely encapsulated within it.
Clark laughed at her. “No, certainly not the most exciting man in the world but he does seem to be good for your friend.”
Lucy rolled her eyes at the idea of a boring man being good for *any* woman. “If only I could be so fortunate as to find a man like him.”
“I don’t think a man like him would suit you somehow.”
She smiled inquisitively at him. “What sort of man do you think would suit me?”
He opened his mouth to answer her question, then shook his head, “No, I don’t think I should say anything.”
“Why?” Lucy giggled and slipped an arm through his. “Are you worried that I’ll follow your advice, then it’ll all go horribly wrong and Lois’ll blame you?”
Clark hung his head in shame. “Yes,” he admitted.
“Coward! My sister has you wrapped around her finger, doesn’t she? You know, Lois thinks too much of herself.”
“I don’t want to upset your sister, what’s so wrong with that?”
“You’re scared of her!”
Clark ignored Lucy’s comments and moved forward to hail a cab, slipping his arm away from hers as he turned.
“No!” she exclaimed and took hold of his elbow, dragging her along with him as she marched off down the street. “I want to walk. It’s not that far to Lois’ and it’s a nice evening. Plus I know you’re far too much of a gentleman to let a young lady walk alone in the city at night.”
He said nothing but let himself be led along by Lucy, wishing that Lois had let them borrow her car. The fact that she hadn’t wasn’t exactly a shock but the sooner he could get away from Lucy and her teasing the better.
He had actually enjoyed the evening up until this point. He had got on relatively well with the husband, although he could see how he would seem boring to a character like Lucy’s. The girls had been very entertaining to watch. He had found Lucy particularly fascinating, mainly because she appeared to be another piece of the puzzle that was Lois Lane. Age and temperament were obvious dividing factors in the sisters. He knew that they rarely had anything to do with each other and both were scornful of the other’s lifestyle. He often had to sit and listen to Lois rant about her sister’s choices, normally after the few rare occasions that Lucy had called to speak to her and he was now getting a chance to hear things from the other end.
He sighed as Lucy continued telling him the list of ‘101 things that Lois does wrong’ after the intermission of dinner. It had started after he had picked Lucy up for the evening. Lois had been there, naturally, scowling at them, when he had got to her apartment. Lucy had been running late and was still searching for her coat and one of her shoes, which had given Lois ample opportunity to make snide comments about each of them and lecture Clark on what he was and was not allowed to let Lucy do. Clark wondered if she had given Lucy the list of what *he* was and wasn’t allowed to do before he had arrived. He had also noticed that Lois kept looking at him, almost as if she was checking him out and then her lips would purse together and she’d look like she had just bitten into a lemon.
Still, in a very bizarre way Lucy did remind him of Lois, or perhaps how Lois could have been. Both women seemed insecure in their own ways, perhaps Lucy a little less so than her sister, which Clark suspected was all down to Lois. With all the problems their parents had, Lois had always taken it upon herself to try to look after Lucy and shield her from the worst of them and let her know that someone cared, even if it was just her bossy big sister. Lois hadn’t had that.
However, where Lois tended to push people away in fear of letting them get too close and hurting her, Lucy seemed to take the opposite tact and push herself onto people, desperately seeking comfort from them.
“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Lucy barked at him.
“What? Of course I am.”
“Liar.”
Clark sighed and tugged on her arm, which had somehow once again found its place in the crook of his. “Come on, we’re nearly there.”
Lucy fell into step silently beside him as they rounded the corner and went to the steps into Lois’ building. Clark stopped as Lucy started up, then she turned around to look at him. “Aren’t you coming up?”
“Er...”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not inviting you in for coffee, Clark, I just thought that’s what you did. It’s one of your annoying traits, apparently.”
Clark relented and followed her inside. “Just how much has Lois told you about me?”
Lucy just laughed as she got into the elevator. Clark followed and pressed the button for Lois’ floor without even looking at the pad, to which Lucy merely raised an intrigued eyebrow.
“So,” she began after a moment’s silence, “did you have a good time tonight?”
“I did, actually. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I had fun too. You know, you’re not as boring as I thought you were.”
Clark looked bemused at her phrasing. “Thank you, I think.”
Lucy giggled. “I mean, whenever Lois talks about you she makes you sound like a total killjoy but you’re not. Maybe you could do with being a little more wild sometimes but you somehow manage to combine being a good guy with a sense of humour. Lois leaves out the fact that you’re nice to be around when she talks about you.”
“Oh.”
“Hey, Clark,” Lucy piped up as the elevator doors pinged open and they stepped out into the hallway.
“Hm?”
“Do you want to go out again sometime? Just as friends,” she hastily added.
Clark blinked. He suddenly realised that maybe he knew Lois better than he thought. At least half the time she made sense. Lucy was an odd mix of extroverted Lois and Cat Grant, pushy and flirty. He wasn’t really sure if her flirting was just how she interacted with men and that he was not to take it personally, or if she was serious. The second scenario could prove deadly for him if he didn’t handle it correctly.
“Sure. Sometime. I’m busy a lot with work, though, so--”
“You’re not working tomorrow night, right? Lois has tae-kwon-do and I assume you guys work the same hours, being partners and all.”
“No, I’m not working but--” he did have a couple of engagements as Superman but he couldn’t tell Lucy that. Not that he had a chance to.
“Great! How about you pick me up at seven again?”
“No, I can’t,” Clark told her.
“Why not?”
“I’m busy then. I have a couple of things I need to do tomorrow.”
“But not all evening, right? So when are you free?”
“I should be done by nine-thirty, ten, but--”
“That’s OK. Come and pick me up then,” Lucy took out Lois’ spare set of keys as they reached the door. “Do you want to come in, or are you going to leave me to face the wrath of Lois alone?”
A cry for help broke into Clark’s consciousness and he practically leapt for joy. “I can’t, I forgot, I promised to feed the neighbour’s cat. It expects its food at certain times or it starts wrecking the place and I’m late and they’ve just got this new rug and I really don’t want to be responsible for it being scratched to death, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Say ‘hi’ to Lois for me.”
And with that, he raced off, tugging on his tie as he did.
“Huh,” Lucy mused as she watched him disappear down the staircase, instead of using the elevator which would have been faster. “So the lame excuses and running away in difficult situations really are that bad. Guess Lois wasn’t exaggerating.”
Lucy shook her head and went inside, thinking about Clark. The guy really was in love with her sister. She felt a surge of jealousy. It wasn’t fair. Here was the nicest guy in the world, who also happened to be really good-looking and he was completely smitten with her cold-hearted sister who saw him only as a friend and a nuisance. Why couldn’t she find a man like Clark? If Lucy was in Lois’ position, she would have married Clark and got pregnant by now in a desperate attempt to keep him. Well, maybe not got pregnant and possibly not married, she was *way* too young for all that but she would definitely be wearing a ring on her finger, even if it was just an engagement one.
She had realised all that earlier on in the evening, then realised that technically Clark was still up for grabs. She knew that she wouldn’t *marry* her sister’s man, that would be too cruel, but maybe she could date him for a little bit so that she could find out what it was like to be treated right for a change. Then Lois would realise what a fool she’d been not to snap Clark up sooner and after she’d split up with him, they’d *finally* get together and live happily ever after. It would be a win-win situation, wouldn’t it?
However, getting that date hadn’t been that easy. Every single time Clark realised she was flirting with him or hinting as something more than friends, he looked like she’d just asked him to kill someone. The guy couldn’t be that straight-laced, could he? Honestly, you’d think he’d never had a girlfriend the way he reacted to her.
Still, he had agreed to go out with her tomorrow night, albeit as friends. Friends was good, it didn’t need to be ‘official’ for her plan to work. She’d still get a taste of what dating Clark would be like, and Lois would most definitely still get jealous. There was no way this plan could fail.
*.*.*.
Somehow Lucy had managed to turn a fake-date into something a bit more substantial. Clark still wasn’t sure how. She had railroaded him into going out with her three more nights since, and had turned up on his doorstep yesterday evening and made herself at home there ‘til midnight.
He yawned, which earned him a swift glare from Lois, who obviously knew why he’d been kept up late. In response he rolled his eyes at her and she swiftly returned her gaze to her computer, pretending not to have noticed him at all.
It had been like that ever since Lucy arrived in Metropolis. Whatever advancement he had made with Lois in the past year seemed to have dissolved and she was now only civil to him when they were working. This had to stop.
He rose and walked over to her desk “Lois--”
“I’m busy,” she snapped at him, wishing more than anything that he’d just go away.
“About Lucy--”
“Clark, I--” Lois began before she was interrupted by Perry’s voice following him as he tore through the newsroom into his office.
“Lois! Clark! In my office!”
Jimmy was hot on his tail, grinning from ear to ear like a child after their first roller coaster ride. Lois and Clark automatically followed behind them.
“What's up, Chief?” Lois asked, apparently glad of the distraction.
It was Jimmy who replied. “You're not going to believe what happened to us this morning. We were almost killed, but I was able to save us.”
“What?!” Clark exclaimed with a look that was almost guilt in his eyes.
“The boy's leaving out a few details,” Perry told them, trying to restore some calm to the proceedings, “but bottom line is we were car jacked.”
Lois was concerned, “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, we're fine. But they got away with that vintage Ford we were using to promote the celebration.”
“Let me tell you how I saved us!” Jimmy was still overexcited and eager to talk about his role as a hero. “Picture this! We were locked in the garage...”
“Jimmy! Go slap some cold water on your face.”
“But...”
“Go. Now.”
Jimmy’s face fell and he left. “I'll tell you about it later,” he muttered.
“Did you get a good look at them?” Clark asked.
“Sure. I gave the police a detailed description. And then they looked at me like I had three heads.”
“Why?”
“'Cause I told them I'd been car jacked by Bonnie and Clyde.”
Lois tried not to laugh. “Chief, Bonnie and Clyde died over sixty years ago.”
“I know that, Lois. My car was taken, not my senses. But these two were dead ringers for 'em. They did quite a job. Make-up, costumes, the whole shebang.”
“Do you remember anything specific about the costumes?”
“Lois, I'm not real big on fashion accessories. Especially when there's a gun pointed at me.”
“It's just, well... there was this call on the police scanner last week... a man in a brown felt fedora and alligator spats held up a private gun collector.”
“That's right.” Clark remembered. “He got away with an arsenal of antique weapons. Tommy guns, Colt forty five automatics...”
“There could be a connection.”
Perry looked at the two. “See what you can dig up. That car was a piece of this paper's history. It belonged to one of our great publishers. And more important... it's not insured.”
*.*.*.
The whole day hadn’t really turned up much. Clark sighed as he watched Lucy eat her food, not feeling all that hungry himself. A bank had been robbed by John Dillinger, with help from Bonnie and Clyde, while he and Lois were talking to a look-a-like agent. Lois, however, was still not talking to him. He really could have done without this tonight but once again Lucy wasn’t going to let him back out. He would much rather be sharing a pizza with Lois.
“Not eating?”
He shook his head. “Not hungry. My head’s full of work.”
“Mm,” Lucy took a sip of her wine. “Lois told me about it. Weird, huh?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, “weird.”
They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. As his mind wandered, Clark picked up the sound of a siren and cries for help.
“Er, Lucy, look, I really don't want to run off and leave you, but I really need to go and do some research on--”
“Go,” she smiled at him as he rushed off, leaving a bunch of notes on their table. He didn’t even hear her when she finished her sentence by whispering: “Superman.”
To Be Continued...*.*.*.
A/N:
Additional disclaimer - as you might have noticed, this story uses some of the script and plot from ‘That Old Gang of Mine’ by Gene Miller and Karen Kavner, none of which I claim as my own. I didn’t put it in the first disclaimer because didn’t want to ruin the surprise by making it obvious from the start where the story was heading, and I’m sure the title didn’t give it away at all!
