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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
OK, I'll start this one........ Mmmmmmmmmmmm lots of WAFFY, lovey, dovey stuff to start and then........screeetch.....slammed on the brakes! Poor, frustrated Lois AND Clark... of all things..a charity softball game..ug! Cool start Give us more soon! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go? Clark: No. Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go. Clark: Then why do you ask? Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
LOL, Liz pretty much sums it up. Nice waffy, sensuous start, Laura, but poor Lois! Clark has a lot of making up for to do when he gets back. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Laura An excellent beginning! Tricia
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Okay... interesting so far Let's see how are you going to tweak the original episode...
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 397 |
Great start, Laura! Loved the sexual tension in the restaurant - maybe if they only would have taken that smirking waiter up on the room he offered Clark would have forgotten all about a silly charity softball game. Softball?! I can see him sniping at all the runners... "You're out!!! So you think you've got a homerun! If I can't score tonight, then nobody's scoring!!!" More soon!!! Missy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Great start, Laura! You've really captured the mood of the episode here. Poor Lois and Clark! So he's off to umpire an... um, softball game. How does Lois feel knowing that she comes second to that? And what's next??? Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great piece. She had planned an incredible night, trying to give Clark a birthday to remember for the rest of his life. Dinner had gone by swimmingly. The food had been excellent, and the atmosphere of the restaurant just perfect for a little fooling around. She had planned that part of the evening flawlessly. But that hadn't been the important part of the evening. It had been a little taste of what was to come.
Instead of the romantic birthday evening with her husband in which she had planned to be dressed in the birthday present she had bought for him, she was now resigned to a night alone with the television, dressed in her fuzzy, flannel pajamas. He need a lesson. :rolleyes: If he can't take care of a wife, he should had stay single. More soon, please. MAF PS If you have problem with your muse tell me I'll kick her around little.
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Laura, Clark has some serious making up to do more merry
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 231 |
Awesome story! Just one little nit pick...you are going to make us wait an entire WEEK for part two?!?!?!?!? I can't wait to read the next part!
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Posts: 1,133
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,133 |
Thanks, Liz, LabRat, Tricia, Jose, Missy, Wendy, Maria, Merry, and Isislnc . I am so glad you all like it. Of all the stories I've ever written, this part of this story is my absolute favorite. . . Until the part where Clark has to leave to ump the softball game. If you think it's going to be smooth sailing for our favorite couple, think again
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
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