Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: That Little Sister of Mine 5/5

Please leave any final thoughts here:

Thanks,
Alisha

wow. emotional roller coaster indeed.
ralph sucks.
but great ending - it needs a sequel, you know?

I need to disagree with Sarah - I liked Ralph here, and that's a first for me!

Honestly, someone needed to tell Clark that he looks like a womanizer when he can't say no to a woman's invitations just because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Thank God that Ralph's comments made Mayson sufficiently angry that she backed down on her own!

Good thing that Clark flew to Lois's apartment when he heard her sob! And I loved that Lois told him this:

So maybe not all of that was totally clear or logical, Clark, but don't you forget it, all the same!

Thanks for a fun ride!

Ann

Ralph is a dork. And that's not a compliment.

This mash-up wasn't all Clark's fault, although he could have (and should have) declined Lois' passionate invitation to share herself with him. He should have turned it into an opportunity to tell her The Secret. That way she would have been angry about his hiding something so important from her, but he wouldn't have bedded her without her knowing.

But Lois should have taken the time to understand how hard it is for Clark to share that part of himself with anyone, even with the woman he loves. She should have been willing to listen to his explanation before shutting him out of her life. Her fire and passion so often conspire with Clark's reticence to make The Revelation a wrenching experience for all concerned.

Overall, this was a great story. You captured Lois' headstrong disregard for her own safety and her passion for both the truth and for Clark. You portrayed Clark's dilemma and his difficulty in choosing a course of action very clearly. Most of all, you brought Lucy Lane to life and made her more than a plot point or a cardboard character. She was alive, vibrant, and plotting in the best tradition of the Lane sisters, even if her best-laid plans almost blew up in her face. And her self-deprecating humor? Wonderful!

And even though Lois hasn't figured out how she wants this to play out, she has decided that she wants Clark in her life. That's very good. And he's decided to play it straight with her. That's also very good. Lucy knows The Secret and isn't swept away by it? That's interesting. Maybe it means that she's matured quite a bit in the last few months.

Great ride, Alicia. I enjoyed it. I hope to see more offerings from you very soon.

Well, I liked this Lucy

I liked this story. It was a delightful train-wreck. You had to wince, but you just couldn't *not* watch it happen.

But I have to say that Lois at the end is trying to have her cake and eat it too. She isn't ready to be his girlfriend, but he isn't allowed to go out with anybody else? How is she not his girlfriend then?

I was feeling bad for Lois through this whole story because Lucy was messing with her life and Clark was being a doormat, but if she's going to try the "I don't want you but nobody else is allowed to have you either" bit, then she is right back where she was at the beginning and she almost deserves what she got.

I'm going to chose to believe that her ambivalence is just temporary because she is still mad at Clark and that the only reason Clark is satisfied with that "I'm not yours but you can't have anyone else either" line is that he doesn't really believe it either. I'm going to read it as "I will be yours pretty soon, I'm just too angry to completely forgive you yet, but I'll get there."

Lovely ending. Definitely, I enjoyed this little story. Thank you.

Hi guys! Thanks for all your comments, I really appreciate them.
For the record, I can’t remember how I intended Ralph to be received when I wrote it, if I thought about that at all, but I ended up feeling sorry for him at the end of his little cameo, he just seemed so clueless!

sarah, I’m glad you liked the ending, but, erm... no sequel is planned. Sorry.
Ann, I thought everything Lois said was completely clear and logical!
Terry, thanks for your comments, I’m glad your enjoyed it. I have a few WiPs still to work on, so you won’t have seen the last of me, but a lot of my spare time is gonna be taken up by other things for the next couple of months and possibly until after Christmas, so if I’m sensible I won’t be posting anything until after things calm down!
Michael, ‘spunky’? Actually, that’s a pretty good word to describe Lucy, and you’re just as welcome to like her as to dislike her!
HappyGirl, that’s pretty much how you’re supposed to read it! Lois is still upset with Clark; she’s not quite in the right place to start a relationship with him but she doesn’t want to risk him finding another Lucy or Mayson while she adjusts to everything.
Lote, I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

Thanks again to everyone who left any feedback for any of this story.
- Alisha