Hi everyone here is the second part. Again thanks to Female Hawk, especially for her last minute suggestions. You are great!
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Suddenly I realize that Luthor and I are still kissing. This is the first time I am thankful that I am not in control who knows how Luthor would have reacted if I had repelled his advances.
Mercifully I make my exit soon after the proposal … At the moment I can’t stand myself … I can’t believe how shallow I was … how, in my confusion I mistook Lex for something he could never be … and missed the depth and beauty of the man I thought could be nothing more than a friend.
t. b. c.
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Part 2
When I wake up the next morning, I feel exhausted. Have I really been sent into the past? Have I seen HG Wells, the dead writer? Everything seems a bit foggy at first, but after several minutes I begin to remember everything. I *think* I remember everything … there is no way of being sure.
Now I have to test to see if I’m in control of my own body … I stretch my limbs and smile …
The first time around, I spent today meeting Lex and going over the plans for our apartment, but I don’t want to waste any time on an apartment I’ll never live in.
To make sure this day won’t proceed as frustratingly as yesterday I have to plan ahead. And it’s galling to know that the person most likely to foil my plans is Lois Lane … myself.
I grab a piece of paper and write down what I intend to do today, perhaps my other self will follow the instructions written by herself.
1.) Cancel the meeting with Lex
2.) Visit Clark, tell him that you believe him, because he is right about Lex
3.) Write a letter for Clark, just in case number 2 doesn’t go well
4.) Find evidence!!!
I begin with the first point and grab the telephone from my nightstand.
Nervously I dial Lex’s number to cancel our appointment. I remember some cuddling and kissing between Lex and me, and I *really* don’t want to do that again. After a few seconds the call is answered by Mrs. Cox; I tell her who I am and what I want.
“Lois, Darling!” Lex greets me. Just the sound of his voice is enough to make me squirm. “What can I do for you? Shall I send my chauffeur to get you? You know my fiancée doesn’t have to drive herself, don’t you?”
Suddenly I realize this won’t be easy. Lex hasn’t become a man in his position by being easily fooled.
I hope he won’t be angry with me. He told me – after the proposal – that he wanted to get married as soon as possible. *He* set the date for the wedding ceremony, which limited our engagement to seven days. How could I ever have considered marrying a man who wants to control everything around him, especially me?
“Lex, I called you to cancel our appointment … I don’t feel well today … I don’t want to infect you.” I tell him. Because of my work I know to lie only if it is necessary. If one tells too many lies, he’ll get caught in them at some point, so I try to tell Lex something which almost true. You are the best example, Clark … the stories you told me were unbelievably bad … it is a miracle no one ever figured your secret out.
When Lex answers this time his voice has changed slightly … I think it sounds a bit enraged … am I such a bad liar … or is Lex’s patience unbelievably thin? “Dear, I hope it isn’t too serious, should I send my personal doctor to you?”
“No Lex, perhaps I haven’t slept enough! I’ll call you tomorrow!” I reply quickly – not too quickly, I hope.
“Ok Lois, you call me if you need anything! We meet tomorrow then! Bye, dear!”
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and reply, “Yeah, bye … dear.” Saying those words to him makes me shudder. There is only one man who I want to hear me say those words – that man is you!
But there are things more important than that. Things like saving you and convincing the love of my life that I wasn’t thinking clearly that day in the park when I said I didn’t love you.
I get up and take a notebook without bothering to dress properly. Why should I? There is no one who could see me.
I take a pen and start to write.
‘Clark Kent is … the love of my life’ I begin to write. Then I hesitate, I should write something to explain because if my other self reads it the other day, she’ll just ignore it or worse throw it away without reading it too closely.
‘Remember the time in Smallville, how wonderful it was being with Clark. Think about the day Mr. Make-up tried to kill you. Who stayed with you, even though you told him not to?’ I hope that is clear enough to convince myself.
Ok now for the next bit. How do I tell myself that you are you, that Clark is Superman without writing those words down in case anyone else reads this?
‘Remember the day Superman was in your apartment and remember the way Clark greeted him. Think of how Clark’s allergies affected him in Smallville and think of his finger.’
I can only hope that I’ll understand my own hints if I need them…
I’ll write another note to let myself know what I have to do. But what exactly do I write? If I tell myself to help you as Clark I won’t know that you are in danger of dying from the hand of Lex. I also can’t tell myself how evil Lex is or that you are in that horrible cage in case Lex finds them in my bag.
I also can’t write to help Superman because knowing myself I think I’ll forget everything else but Superman. My being absent would enrage Lex and that could lead to Lex making the decision to kill Superman earlier. Also if Lex reads the note he’ll decide to kill you right away.
The only thing that is neutral enough is ‘Save him’. I can only hope that it will be enough …
The next thing on my list is writing the letter. Perhaps I’ll manage to get you to listen to me, perhaps I’ll get a chance to offer my heart to you – the real you – the mild mannered superhero, like you offered me your heart.
I take a new piece of paper and start a note for you.
Dear Clark!
I have some important things to tell you, but I don’t know how …
I thought being a reporter would make writing this easier but I can’t find the right words. Nothing seems to fit.
There are so many things I want to explain to you but I want to do it face to face, because you deserve nothing less.
Unfortunately I don’t know when I will be able to … sometimes I don’t seem to be myself.
Please, regardless of what I say when we see each other the next time … I need a chance to tell you how I really feel …
I can’t tell you anything specific but stay away from Lex.
Please don’t lose hope,
In love
Lois
Will you believe me? I haven’t given you any reason to trust me with your heart again in the previous days since I came here. I can only hope …
I sigh and grab an envelope, put the letter in it and write ’Clark’ on it.
I look at my watch, it is already past three in the afternoon I think I’ll get dressed and go for a walk and visit Clinton Street. I hope that you’re home so I can talk to you.
***
On my way to your apartment, I notice my steps becoming slower … I’m nervous … although it wasn’t me who accepted Luthor’s proposal this time, I begin to develop a guilty conscience. But I have to do this, I reassure myself, for us … if there can still be an ‘us’ … if I haven’t destroyed it.
I will myself to walk faster, I won’t postpone this … it is too important … your life could depend on it.
Finally I reach your apartment, my limbs begin to tremble slightly with anticipation. What if you are not at home? What if you are, but not alone? What if you don’t want to talk to me?
I can’t face the others at the moment. I have failed you, and them as well. I want to talk to you and only you, if I have to explain any of this to them I think I’ll lose my nerve.
There you are! You are walking home … and you are not looking very happy … I guess that’s understandable considering the events of the previous day.
“Clark!” I call you. “Can I talk to you?” You come over to me. There is a strange mixture of hope, fear, hurt, love and several other emotions I can’t recognize before you cover all of them.
Suddenly all the tension is gone – overwhelmed by the joy of seeing you again I notice there are shadows under your eyes, where do they come from? I have seen you after ‘Superman’ helped for over 48 hours following a severe disaster. Then you were emotionally worn out but not physically.
Then it hits me, kryptonite! Lex must have tested it before coating the cage!
“Sure, come in Perry and the others are there, too. They’ll be happy to see you,” you reply.
“No, I want to talk in private! Clark, I have something to tell you, it’s about Lex … I … he- ” I begin but I’m interrupted. If only I could tell you what you what I just discovered.
“What? That you are engaged? To Lex? That you are happy with him? I already know these things. You want me to attend the ceremony? Forget it! Or do you want me again to tell Superman?” I am surprised how mad you are … I knew you would be mad considering what you saw yesterday, but I have never seen you like this before! You are furious and it is my fault. Perhaps it is also caused by the kryptonite exposure, perhaps your mild-manneredness is also a superpower and therefore weakened by the horrible green stuff.
This thought almost makes me laugh.
But what amazes me the most is you telling me openly that you already know about my engagement, neither I nor my other self have told you about it and Lex … I know a man in his position would make an engagement public knowledge … but it is too early for that unless … either Lex sent you a message to torment you further … or seeing us together has brought you to a point where you don’t care about his actions.
“ … Clark how do you know about our … ‘engagement’?” I ask, finding it difficult to even mention my betrothal to the worst crime-lord Metropolis has ever seen. Something tells me that it is also important to find out why you are acting so much out of character at the moment.
“What do you think?” you reply. “Instead of hearing it from the woman I thought was my best friend … the secretary of my worst enemy calls me this morning. She told me you ordered her to inform me of your upcoming wedding. I know I put you in a difficult position when I told you I loved you, but discovering you don’t feel the need to take the time to tell me in person … that hurt, Mrs. Luthor.”
I flinch – Hearing you call me that makes me shudder. Lex has to be responsible … you are his second archenemy after the other you – Superman – and he intends to make you suffer as much as he can … in both guises.
But you practically told me that you are Superman, you called Luthor your ‘worst enemy’ and … do you really think I wouldn’t tell you myself about my engagement? That hurts … although you are right I can’t remember telling you about it the last time … you just seemed to know it somehow …
Realizing that telling you anything concerning Luthor will only upset you further, I take the letter out of my pocket and give it to you.
You hesitate slightly before accepting the letter with a confused “Thanks!” Then you look at it before asking me in a cold voice “Is that my invitation? You already know that I won’t come!”
I shake my head and without waiting another second, I turn away from you and leave in defeat.
I think I can feel your pain, I *can* feel it … beginning in your heart and spreading out, seeping into every cell, so intense it becomes nearly physical. Or is my pain, reflecting yours?
After a few heart-broken steps, I hear you take a deep calming breath. Hoping that you have changed your mind, I turn back to you – just in time to see you disappear into your apartment.
Silently I begin to cry … I have very little time left, all I’ve managed to do is argue with you and jot down some cryptic notes without having a clue if I’ll understand them, or even find them before it is too late.
***
On my way home I begin to calm down. It won’t help anyone if I get lost in my desperation. I take time to think over my next steps. I still feel miserable … the last two meetings with you didn’t go very well.
I don’t know how long my memory will be there … how long I have until I have forgotten everything I know. Time moves quickly. There are only one and a half precious days left until my marriage and even less until Luthor locks you in that horrible cage. I can only hope that somehow I’ll be able to prevent it tomorrow.
Tomorrow … I don’t think I can postpone the meeting with Lex again so I think I have to bite the bullet. I hope that I’m done with it soon, but if I can keep Lex busy, he won’t be able to capture you.
I’m one block from my apartment when I hear a noise coming from an alley, I decide to ignore the noise, probably it was a cat. Seconds later I feel myself being dragged into said alley. ‘Not now’ I think irritated ‘this day is bad enough as it is, I don’t need another thug dragging me god-knows-where!’
“Come on, Missy! The boss wants to see you.” The boss? But the boss is Lex and he won’t tell one of his lowest henchmen either his plans or his identity … This has to be a ruse, but for what? Lex can’t know that I went for a walk, can he? ‘IF he does know’ I think shuddering ‘how did he find out? Where has he planted his bugs?’ This is disgusting! What have I put myself into?
Before I can think about Lex’s possible reasons, I hear a thud indicating Superman has landed behind me … you must have been watching me … the thug is snatched away from me and faster than I can see – and without a word – he is taken to the nearest police station.
I begin to worry. Normally you aren’t so tight lipped, even to the criminals … I can only hope that my letter had the desired effect and we have the time to talk soon.
As soon is you’ve left I notice Lex exiting his limousine and walking up to me. Now it dawns on me why someone tried to drag me away … Lex tried to get my gratitude, but you got in his way. Again I think this was very amateurish … for one of Lex’s plans.
“Darling, is everything all right?”
I nod, not sure what to say.
When you arrive seconds later I see the concern in your eyes, but it disappears completely after you spot Lex. You try to clear every emotion from your face, but I see a faint trace of … is it hatred? Do you hate me? Have I hurt you too much?
“Is everything OK, Ms Lane?” I’m shocked to hear you use my last name, even as Superman you began to call me Lois very early in our relationship.
Worse yet … Lex noticed it too.
His lips twitched slightly, before he hides it – not wanting anyone to see his evil grin. I realize he sees his plan is working. I am separated from my friends and … I’m doing it myself … I had the chance to see Perry and the others again but I refused Clark’s offer.
I have to find a plausible way to make sure you take me home.
I nod to you, before Lex begins to talk to me. “How are you my dear Lois? Come, my chauffeur will bring you home safely.“
“Lex, thank you for offering to take me home, but I’d rather go with Superman, if he doesn’t mind.”
“Lois, I think Superman has more crucial things to do than take you home.” Lex answers me before he grabs my hand and begins to lead me out of the alley.
I throw a pleading look in your direction, hoping that Lex doesn’t notice. I free my hand from Lex’s grip. “Lex, I know that, but Superman is one of my best friends and I haven’t seen him for some days now. And I really want to go with HIM!” I can tell that Lex doesn’t like this but I don’t care! I need some time with my best friend, even though he doesn’t know that I know he IS my best friend.
You shoot a stern look to Lex and say. “Mr. Luthor, the lady said she prefers to come with me.” With that you lift me up and rise into the sky. I think Lex is fuming, serves him right!
I can hear Lex getting into his car and slamming the door before his driver starts the engine. I look into your eyes and take all my courage to tell you what I have on my heart.
“Superman, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for throwing myself at you. I shouldn’t have expected you would believe me. I acted like a moony-eyed cheerleader … You told me I was special to you and I appreciate that but I think you need a friend not a fan.”
You are silent. I can barely see your face … I can’t tell if the silence is a good or a bad sign. I take a deep breath and try to think about what I can say next.
“I have thought about it, I want to be your friend, nothing more and nothing less. If you still like me at all. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you called me with my last name and I won’t let you get away with it. Neither will I accept you calling me Mrs. Luthor because I won’t give up my name regardless of who I marry, you hear?”
You look at me with a confused stare and stop mid-flight, I don’t think you anticipated me being blunt, but I had to get you attention.
“I have to tell you something very important … I … you …” I shake my head. I wanted to say something to warn … I don’t know … someone I know … or at least I think so. But what exactly did I have in my mind … I can’t remember. It was about Clark … and Superman …and Lex, I think. Are the three of them in danger … but there is nothing they have in common.
“Lois, are you all right?” Superman asks me.
“Yes! Just a bit dizzy …” I answer. “What were we talking about?”
“You don’t know? You wanted to tell me something but then you stopped and shook your head … you’re sure that everything is ok? Did that man hit you? Has he used anything on you?” That is so confusing. I know I wanted to say something, but the harder I try to remember the less I can grasp the memory.
I remember being dragged in an alley, being saved by Superman … then Lex …I refused Lex’s offer to bring me home, instead I asked Superman to escort me …
Why did I want anyone to bring me? I am only one block away from my apartment, I could have gone alone!
Why did I ask Superman? He was rude when he was at my apartment a few days before … Lex is my fiancé … he should have brought me home, if I needed anyone to!
Superman is just a friend, but Lex is my husband-to-be … perhaps that is the beginning of the nervousness before my wedding.
I realize that Superman is looking at me, obviously awaiting an answer … What was his question?
“I’m sure … Would you take me home now? I think I’m just nervous, my marriage is in two days, you know?”
Superman flinches. Why does he care about my marriage? He made it clear he didn’t believe my declaration of love.
He was rude and made an offending comment about the nightgown I wore, told me not to bother about putting on a bathrobe unless it was made of lead. I can’t believe he said that, he implied that he used his x-ray-vision on me!
Finally we reach my apartment building I jump away from him and fix him with my best ‘spill it or else’ glare. “Superman, did you ever use your x-ray-vision on me?”
He looks shocked, as if he’s asking himself why I ask. “No Lois, I’d never …” then it seems to dawn on him where my thoughts are heading. “I’m sorry about that comment — it was horrible, but I got some really bad news a few hours before so … I guess it was the stress speaking.”
Superman received bad news … does he have anyone to talk? “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have … do you want to talk about it?”
His expression hardens – only for a second – but I see it. “No!” and he turns to fly away. I grab his arm to stop him.
“Wait!” I tell him. “Talk to me. I can see you are suffering! I thought we were friends; friends talk to each other! Talking makes it better! Tell me what has happened to you. Did you have to do a hard rescue?”
He sighs. “No!” then he hesitates before continuing. “I had a heart-to-heart with someone which didn’t go well. I poured out my heart and I was rejected.”
I gasp, that was why he said ‘under the circumstances I don’t think I can.‘ He has another woman or perhaps even a man somewhere and I can see now from his pain that he is deeply in love. But how could anyone reject him? He is an amazing person … generous, gentle and gorgeous to name only a few of his qualities. Doesn’t this *person* realize that he needs someone to talk to? How can anyone be so superficial? If only I could be the friend Superman turns to.
Deciding that actions speak louder than words I step closer to Superman and take him into an embrace, hoping that it will ease some of his pain but instead he tenses and slips out of the hug. Obviously his pain runs deeply.
He tells me goodbye and leaves.
I shake my head and open the door, I try to make sense of the things I have witnessed this evening. Lex, Superman and Clark; why does every man in my life act so strange? Is it me? Or do I pick only those men with a strange streak?
After I enter my apartment I notice that I’m very tired, I put on a sleeping shirt and go into my bathroom. While I get ready for bed I can’t stop thinking … I hate that feeling, I know I’m missing something Important, I forgot something … I know it is just below the surface of my consciousness … just out of reach. That makes me crazy.
When I lay in my bed I think about calling Clark, but then I remember that I have visited him tonight … how could I have forgotten that?
I slip under the covers and close my eyes … the day after tomorrow I’ll be married, I’ll be Mrs. Lex Luthor … the third richest woman in the world … Why am I not deliriously happy?
t. b. c.
