Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic The Long Road Home Part 16 - Comments

Thoughts?

Wow.

Ah, progress! Very good part. I must admit, though, I'm a little bewildered by why Clark feels so bad about himself. It's been a long time since I read the first of the story. I remember he was always thinking he wasn't doing enough and being pulled around by forces he couldn't control. He was really being too hard on himself. Maybe a touch of flashback like the "I'll never tell you" incident would get us more inside his head. He certainly had many supporters on New Krypton.
Keep it coming!

Artemis

Artemis,

The reason Clark feels so bad about himself stems from the fact that when he was captured and tortured by Nor, it eventually got to a point where he just wished he were dead already -- thereby breaking his promise to Lois that he would never stop trying to come back to her.

Also, Clark killed a man. The Clark Kent who left Earth when the Kryptonians first showed up would never have done that. Heck, he'd have saved Lex Luthor from jumping to his own death, if it hadn't been for the fact that he'd just been locked in a kryptonite cage for God only knows how long, and so there literally wasn't anything he could have done about it.

All that is actually quite easy to remember and relate to for me, but I suspect that's because I read the whole story up to this point within the space of a week.

Beyond that, though, I suspect that one of the reasons it's hard for us to relate to Clark when he's being so hard on himself, is because when you're an outsider looking over Lois and Clark's shoulders, it seems completely logical and understandable for Clark to have reacted the way he did, in both situations. But it's quite obvious that Clark himself isn't able to think about these things rationally. If he were, I hardly think we'd consider him a genuine human being anymore.

wow, great chapter! great that clark is finally able to talk with lois a little more....

I think it was Pedendang who said that you are the best writer on these boards, Rac. She is right. You are the best, because you have mastered the incredibly difficult art of describing the sort of change that goes on all around us without us even noticing it.

I tend to remember certain things from the past (and completely forget others), and it has happened several times when I bring something up that another person looks at me with disbelief. Surely what I just said can't be right. Surely things can't have been so different five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago. Surely people can't have reasoned and reacted so differently back then.

Change is going on around us all the time. Sometimes something monumental is taking place, and then we notice, of course. We most certainly notice. But other, smaller, subtler things are changing too, and we don't notice. Or we notice them for a while, and then we forget that things weren't always like that, and then we stop noticing. And suddenly we are other people than we used to be, and we don't remember how it happened, and maybe we don't even remember that we weren't always the way we are now.

You have that sort of multi-layered understanding and the kind of beautiful writing skills that allows you to let a story unfold where things change so slowly and subtly that neither your characters nor your readers necessarily pay attention to the changes. We are just swept along with the slow current. And suddenly things are different, and we can't say how it happened, even if we try. That is because you told us your story so subtly that we didn't notice the underlying flow and direction of it.

But occasionally you give us a small reminder, as Dr. Friskin was allowed to do in theis chapter:
Yes, it takes time. But things have changed already, and I think the pace of the change is speeding up.

This is so beautiful, Rac.

Ann

Rac, I was wondering but since there've never been hints. And then, BAM, let's cut the pretense

The one thing I don't get is, how did Clark know that Friskin knew? Or did he just intend for her to name the wife Ultrawoman and he just went with the flow when she called him Clark?

Ped mentioned Clark giving up being the thing he is most afraid of, but I'm wondering if it might not be the fact that he and Commander Talan got way too close for a time there.

Michael

Yes, I'm wondering if Dr. Friskin had a "epiphany moment" where she realized suddenly that S=CK. Did she figure this out from Lois's previous therapy?

And, like Michael, I'm wondering how Clark knew that Dr. Friskin knew.

As you can see, I'm creebing at little bits. The story itself is awesome, ferocious, thorough, wonderful (*runs out of adjectives here*)

Eagerly awaiting more.

Hi Michael,

I think it's a totality of the circumstances that leads to Dr. Friskin making the intuitive leap - Clark and Superman leave at the same time and return at the same time (which can be explained by the cover story). Clark and Superman both getting secretly married the day before they left is a tougher coincidence to accept. In Dr. Friskin's case, it is this particular piece of evidence that causes her to realize that Superman is Clark Kent.

In the background, there are other things at work. Dr. Friskin has already figured out Superman is married to Ultrawoman. Couple that with the timing of Lois's pregnancy and Ultrawoman's six month disappearance (yeah, I know, I'm asking people to remember way back when), and I think her intuitive leap makes sense. I'm also banking on the fact that Dr. Friskin has been shrink to both Lois and Ultrawoman, so the similarities there should also be a clue. And she knew that Lois was close to both Clark and Superman. Finally, in all of his retelling of what happened on New Krypton, Superman never mentioned Clark.

As to why Clark knew that she knew, I think for him, the secret wedding was evidence enough to give him away. In his previous sessions, he has also thought that he wasn't doing a good enough job of projecting the air of Superman, so he thought he'd given himself away. If Dr. Friskin hadn't already figured it out, I think he would have spilled his guts at that moment.

I would love to know if you, dear readers, think this needs to be spelled out more in that scene, or if Dr. Friskin's snap deduction makes sufficient sense.

It made sense to me at the time I read it and the surprise element of it was quite nice. A little discussion to follow that in the "How did you figure it out" part would be nice, though. So, I guess, as usual for me, I want both choices!

Artemis

I was not at all surprised that Dr. Friskin knew.

Ann

I agree with Ann, Rac. I think she would have been pretty dense not to have figured it out, given all of the things that you mentioned -- but then again, it's not like Lois was that quick about it, either. So, within the context of what we know about the show, I'm not sure.

But within the context of this story, yes, it made perfect sense to me.

Hi Rac,

Just wanted to let you know, am still loving this story and am delighted that Clark seems to be making some progress.

I would like to add an 'I totally agree' with Ann's comments about your style of writing. I too, have enjoyed the subtlety and the development of your characters as I've read this story over the past few years. In fact, I often find myself thinking of Lois and Clark as you've written them, not as they were portrayed in the tv series. So thank you, because I have enjoyed it immensely and am so happy you're back.

As for the discussion about Dr Friskin and the understanding between she and Clark as to his identity, I would think the Dr to be rather daft to have not put two and two together at this point considering how much in depth knowledge she has of both Clark and Lois. Like Perry , Jimmy, Dr Klein etc. in other stories, I think that readers are quite accepting of others knowing the secret. I myself, like to think that at some point Lois and Clark are able to live happily and safely with the world knowing their secret. Or am I being an eternal optimist here?

Anyway...after that side note. I thoroughly enjoyed Dr Friskin's no nonsense approach and as for Clark I think it is more than believable that he would just accept this as is, he has more important issues to wrap his brain around at the moment.

Thanks again Rac! Can't wait for the next instalment...

This part inspired me to reread everything, so here I am, back for more.

I couldn't remember if Clark ever kissed Talan (he didn't, not even close), or if he was the one to kill Nor (he was), but in a sense the answers didn't matter, because it was bad enough that he thought about them. But wow. Ped is right that the thing he views worst is having given up under the torture, having wanted to beg for death. (Though I'm not sure whether he *actually* begged for death at any point -- Lois always seemed to come to save him.) But he was slowly starting to recover from that, over the years. What dragged him back into the darkness, right at the end, was killing Nor -- and finding that he wished he'd done so earlier, before another six hundred seventy one people had to die.

It occurred to me that no one's asked Clark about the other people he met on New Krypton. Is that not done with trauma victims? It seems like he might feel safer talking about experiences other than his own. Lois knows Zara and Ching, and Clark has mentioned Tao Scion and Talan. But I can imagine him going on at length about Thia, and Enza, and someday the medic Rayid.

Regarding the Dr. Friskin scene, it didn't surprise me that she figured it out, but I was a little unsure about the billionaire and amnesia references, mostly because I can't remember whether Lois was seeing Dr. Friskin at that point. It might have felt a little smoother if there were a reference to her getting a niggling feeling when Superman reveals that he and Ultrawoman got married the day before he left, so that when he says their wedding kept getting delayed, it's the confirmation of her suspicions rather than the source.

Thanks for commenting, everyone.

Hi Artemis, thanks for your comments. Ped pointed out the reasons why Clark feels so bad, but as you pointed out, Clark is being really hard on himself. I tend to write Clark as being too hard on himself. I don't think this is an exception.

Ped, I think you hit the nail on the head. Two of the most devastating aspects of his time on New Krypton were emotionally giving up while Nor's prisoner and then killing Nor. He isn't able to look at these two things rationally, because, as you said, he wouldn't really be human if he could be dispassionate about these experiences.

Thanks for your comments, Flowerpot. More is coming soon.

Wow, Ann, thanks for the very kind compliments. I have been trying to describe and develop changes in this story in an organic fashion. I knew the characters couldn't remain unchanged after their experiences, but I wanted the changes to always be believable and natural. It's always dangerous to fiddle with such well established characters as Clark Kent and Lois Lane, so I'm really glad to hear that these changes work for you.

Thanks for your comments, Michael. I think you've raised another valid point about Clark's time on New Krypton. Without his usual support network, he had to turn to others to help him. Relying on Talan helped him cope, but it was emotionally fraught for both of them...

IolantheAlias, thanks for your kind feedback. More is coming up soon.

Frequentflyer, I'm so glad to hear you're still reading and enjoying this story. Knowing that you think of LnC as I write them is such a tremendous compliment. Thank you.

Hi Amy. Wow, I'm impressed to hear that you reread everything. You're right that others haven't really asked Clark about the people he interacted with on New Krypton. In Lois's defense, she can't say "New Krypton" without Clark shutting down. This issue will be explored however, in the parts that are to come.

Thanks for all of your comments, everyone!

Regards,

Rac

Hey Rac!
Good points and psycho-analyzing the psycho-analysis is probably not the best way to go.

Maybe it's just me, but the revelation was too cool, too 'we have been dancing around this for weeks now, let's just talk business, okay?' So, if she just put the last bits together, Clark wouldn't just assume as much in the same instance. Unless they both noticed an obvious slip and he notices that she's obviously ignoring the slip.

Not sure if this makes sense.

Michael