Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: The Man Under the Suit, Part 3/31

Well, no doubt thanks to Cookiesmom and her good wishes, the miracle occurred; both foster kids are asleep. That would be the toddler we already had and his infant sister that they called us about yesterday and we picked up today. Hence the ensuing nuttiness. Anyway, enjoy Part 3 and pray for the baby to sleep well.

Feedback gladly accepted.

Well done. A delightful part and I love the way Lois dug to the meat of the matter.

So sorry she can't seem to find a way to spin it. I would think you'd see the obvious spin, treat Clark as the writer he pretends to be while making note of the depth of research.

You wrote of Lane could dwell on that and the bits from the other three novels, and compare the novels publication with any public response.

Hi Framework,

I think you're right that Lois could have gone that way. Perhaps she should have. However, I need her not to for reasons that I hope will become clear later. So, for now, I hope it's at least plausible that she might not have.

Maybe she doesn't think of it because she's not used to doing these 'soft' kinds of interviews. She wasn't that keen on doing it in the first place, so maybe she isn't trying as hard as she might to make it work.

I do think that this part is the weakest link in my plot chain, but it's necessary to get us where I want to go, so maybe we'll all have to suspend our disbelief just a little. Or maybe when I revise for the archive I'll have to think of a way to not make that spin quite so obvious.

I need for Lois to realize that Clark is deeper than he pretends, but for Clark not to know that Lois realized that. Hence, she can't actually publish her realization. But if I've left her too easy an out that she isn't taking, I'll have to think about how to change that for the archive.

Any brilliant ideas? (We need a 'pondering' icon.)

Carol tells me she had to suspend her disbelief in order to buy that the Royals were in the playoffs. I maintain that any Superman universe is, by definition, not ours, so the Royals can be as good as I want to make them. :p

Thank you for posting part 3!

It's interesting that Lois has seen through Clark's alter ego so quickly in this story, when she's been so blind in canon. And once she sees that he's playing a role, I'm surprised she's not more suspicious of his reasons for the deception. He hasn't dazzled her like Luthor has, so I would expect Lois to launch an investigation to find the real Clark Kent, even if she doesn't plan to print the story; I can't imagine her curiosity being satisfied with less.

It'll be interesting to see where the story goes from here. I'll be anxiously waiting for more.

Happy Girl, I was writing my last post while you were posting yours, so I missed the comment about the Royals being in the playoffs. I haven't followed them for many years, but I was living in Kansas City during the I-70 World Series, the Cardinals vs. the Royals in 1985. My husband and I both grew up in St. Louis, so we were cheering at different times than everyone else in the room. And I remember stepping out of the room for a minute during the 6th game and when I came back the Cardinals had suddenly lost their lead and the game, and in the 7th game they lost the series.

So, depending on the time period of your story, the part about the Royals does not require suspension of disbelief.

That would be a possible solution. If Lois is a little more paranoid? She can consider some other ideas / spins on the article but double think them, being concerned that she is being played.

Great part. The story line you are taking is working for me. Since as she said to Clark early on she would not have laid ground rules for her criminal investigations she is taking a different approach with Clark. In my mind because it is not a criminal investigation she is not as naturally suspicious? Curious, yes

Hope to see the next part soon.

Kathy
www.chili-everyway.com

Okay, I've added four new paragraphs to the end of Part 3. Let me know if they help. I think they bring Lois more into character and I hope they make her ultimate decision (or, in this case, her for-now decision) more believable.

What do you think?

P.S. This kind of back-and-forth is what makes these boards so helpful for us writers. Thanks for taking the story seriously enough to question it.

In terms of Lois spotting that he is pretending faster than the normal L&C setup. Clark in the main universe is not pretending to be something that he isn't. He is not showing all that he is but he really is a quiet but competent person. The only part he really hides is how brave he is. And in the series (not movies) he doesn't act like a coward just not as reckless as Lois. Superman is the pretend, he doesn't like the publicity and such.

Anyone have a list of stories where Lois spots that Superman is pretending?

Too tired to really comment, but just wanna say I'm loving it! More please.

Indeed they do help. It makes it very clear why she isn't doing something light and fluffy. I wouldn't be surprised if Perry makes her sit down with "Lou" in Books and do an acceptable sidebar to the Planet's book review for the Sunday paper.

Clark could even be disappointed that Lois did such a "little piece". Lana could just forget to mention her discussion with Lois about the reason for it being only a sidebar. Your Lana I can see as someone who witnessed the sparks between Lois and Clark and in private is rooting for something to come of it.


BTW in the Series Lana was a blonde played by Emily Procter

Another interesting part.

Em

Hmm...maybe I subconsciously made Lana a red-head just to show that she is absolutely nothing like the Lana in the show. :p

Everyone above has posted much deeper FDK but I just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying this!


Gee, do you think Clark might feel compelled to check on Lois in the next few days? And maybe save her from a fiery doom? Thereby blowing his cover?

*hoping*

Thanks for the feedback, Iolanthe. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Sorry, no blown cover yet. Lois must have found her own way out of that trouble, just like all her other trouble before Clark started hanging around her. Or maybe, since Clark wasn't there to help her, she was busy with something else and so her timing was different and she never got caught.

In any case, that night is off-camera for this story. But Part 4 is up, so read on.

Lois meeting the personal assistant of a good-looking member of the high society. Should be fun.

Yeah...



Oh boy. I think Lana just turned from nice, harmless, married Mrs. back to red-headed bitch again.

Lois could be on to something there.

Oh boy.

Attagirl.

Interesting to see how Lois managed to shoot and miss so close to the mark. And her idea of making him her partner in crime Well, she hasn't realized the partner-bit yet. And is it possible that Clark's next adventure could mimic James Bond' Moonraker? I guess not, form the previous comments, but hey, space is just another teenage-boys' adventure

Can't wait to finding out where this is headed.

Michael

Bump again.

I loved this part! The twinges of Lois' jealousy of Lana -- which Lois refused to acknowledge even to herself -- and Lois' ideas of Clark as an investigator hint at promising things to come.

I am tempted to read ahead; but if I do read everything posted thus far, I'd have a long wait until the "bumpings" were finished and you started posting the new material. So I guess I'll sit back and wait for the next bump...

Joy,
Lynn

I'm glad you also felt that way, unfortunately, only after I read, I realised how long I'd have to wait. But I remembered most of the story, just had to check some things I couldn't figure out

I'm glad, too, Lynn. I need the time myself to make sure I haven't missed anything as I finish this up, so I'm glad to have your company. (Plus, like all authors, I'm a sucker for feedback.)