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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Feedback goes here  Next post, hopefully Wednesday evening, subject to RL, both mine and my betas'. Thanks!
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
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Oooh, this is getting SO GOOD!!  *waiting for more* 
~•~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I liked the forward progression in this part, HG. I'm a fan of the type of subtle humor you included. Oh, no. The universe hated him.
...
and
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Lois did not say, “I know you! You’re Clark Kent, that smarmy Tom Clancy wannabe I couldn’t get a decent interview out of last week!”  I also appreciate the way you've advanced the story without making it drag through the scenes that are already known. Yes, it's a rewrite of the pilot as an AU, but you haven't made me sit through each familiar conversation. Instead, many of the pilot events happen off screen to be recapped in dialogue or in a character's thoughts. Good pacing. There was no way a superficial character like Clark Kent stood a snowball’s chance in Hell with Lois Lane Heh. It looks like Clark has forgotten that he doesn't have to be the shallow, superficial character he created. He doesn't yet know how Lois would react to his true farmboy nature - you know, the one that's a really good investigative reporter, who can be strong in his own right against the mighty Mad Dog Lane. His eyes went back to the city spread out below him. “No, it’s something else. Something I can’t put my finger on. I don’t know what it is. I just have the gut feeling that I need to be here, at least for a while.” Ha! and immediately, we get the proof of Clark's words. He rescues Lois Lane twice and then ends up with a date with her. He must stay in Metropolis, now. BJ
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Columnist
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Columnist
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What I think is cool and funny at the same time is that Lois is getting all of these stories without the help of a partner. Turns out she was right in the beginning of S1 - Clark really was a hack!  I really like this take on the characters. It's familiar in some ways, yet different enough that I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen next... Amber
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
I'll have you know, you were my reward today. I had a bunch of errands to run, grocery shopping to do, and laundry to start, but I knew parts 3 & 4 were on the boards waiting for me. Ooo, tough call! Believe me, it was hard to make myself leave the house before clicking, LOL, but I bargained with myself that I could settle down and read once I got it all done. And here I am.  I also like the little things you're sprinkling in to show us how similar, and different, this L&C are. For example, this Lois still manages to bag her big stories, even without Clark there to help her (and LOL on Amber's comment -- Clark really was a hack!  I'm really enjoying this story, HG. Please keep the parts coming! Kathy
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2009
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Ooh, lots happened in that part!!! I echo the others' comments. It's good that time is moving past familiar events, giving Superman chance to get established etc, but that you still acknowledge them so we can work out where we are in the well-known timeline. This does give good opportunity for humour, and yes, Lois does seem to be getting on ok without Clark! She wouldn't be managing so well without him about in one form or another, however, with the rescues he's already had to make! It's interesting that for this Clark Kent the 'farmboy' personna is the least well-known of all, and, up until recent developments, his biggest secret identity! How will Lois get on with more than one to uncover I wonder!! I like the double (or even triple!) meaning that can now be given to the story's title. It's very different to the Clark we know that he is considered a 'playboy' but, as has been mentioned, this Clark is, in general, more confident. It must help having his closest friends, as well as his parents, to confide in. He is less alone, though there is no doubt a void ready to be filled by Lois. It was a *good* thing that she still thought he was as shallow as he pretended to be, right? Even this soon after meeting her, deep down he wanted her to see through his facade. And the last thing anyone would expect would be for the flashy Flying Hero to be a world-famous writer in disguise. He is being quite daring having two celebrity personnas. It's just a different approach though. Canon-Clark's main reason for not being discovered was because he was such an ordinary guy - who would suspect? For this Clark, it's that he's already an established celebrity - who would suspect? - Lois? So far, this Lois is getting to know Superman better than Clark, so probably not, yet at least. And that was a problem with no solution, because there wasn’t much chance of him holding her in his arms again any time soon. How little he knows!! There was no way a superficial character like Clark Kent stood a snowball’s chance in Hell with Lois Lane. Superman, on the other hand, had obviously captured her interest, but he wasn’t likely to be seeing her again, either. In this scenario, he sees 'Clark Kent' as the superficial one!! After all, there were billions of people in the world, millions in Metropolis alone. How likely was it that the same person would need rescuing more than once in a blue moon? I agree with Kathy, this made me This is Lois Lane, get used to it!! Besides, an interview wouldn’t give him an excuse to touch her, to hold her. It might be worse than not seeing her at all. Barely. He does have it bad, he's as moony-eyed as she is - maybe more so!! And Mom was right: it’s the idea of Superman that’s important, even if he can’t be everywhere at once.” Lois isn't having such a direct influence in the development of this Superman, but then he does have a stronger support network, if not the easy, casual, way of life of canon-Clark. This Clark would probably love the idea of his life, especially the amount of time he spends with Lois. “Superman could find things to do anywhere on Earth, you know. Metropolis doesn’t hold the monopoly on crime or disaster.” Oh, it will do!!! Finally, he saw her. She was sounding truly panicked now, and Clark quickly realized why. Lois was 15,000 feet up, and in free fall. And she didn't even get her goodbye kiss!! I like the snippets of original dialogue cleverly woven in. That earned a small smile from the hero. “You’re welcome. I believe you’re my first repeat customer. I hope this isn’t getting to be a habit, putting yourself in mortal danger.” Well... Lois decided to make her exit before he had a chance to change his mind. “Great,” she said, and reached to shake his hand. “I’ll see you then. I’ll leave the living room window open. And so Superman is about to drop in on Lois for the first time. This time it's scheduled. Still so many interesting possibilities. I wonder what personna in this case Clark is actualy going to want Lois to fall in love with, bearing in mind she has got no chance of falling for the real him, not unless he gets an opportunity to let his cover slip either accidentally or on purpose. Looking forward to more. Em
"There's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy" - CK to LL(Madame Ex)
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Delightful part. Great fun.
I assume at some point it is going to hit Clark that the ONLY reason Trask tossed Lois out of the plane is to bait Superman?
Something that would have never happen if he as Superman had not flown Lois back to her office?
Framework4
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Well, these little ones are wearing me out, so I really need to get to bed, but wanted to say a big Thank You! to all of you for your wonderful and detailed feedback. You caught so many subtle little hints, and you encouraged me that what I'm aiming for is working. You all made my day. Happy Feedback Dance
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
[quote]"I think there are some parts of this story that might not make it into my article—parts that concern you and that you should know about. Also, I think I have something that belongs to you.”[quote]
Gee, what could Lois have that belongs to Superman? A spaceship? A floating globe? Or maybe....maybe it's something that belongs to Clark Kent? Maybe she's figured it out already and she's giving him a chance to make his rebuttal before she publishes the big story?
Eagerly awaiting the next installment.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Clark was busy modeling skin-tight costumes for Martha Suit? Oh boy. Lana ducked into the kitchen to pick it up; she’d had all of Clark’s phone calls forwarded to the Kents’ line, and she didn’t want anyone who thought they were calling Metropolis to wind up talking to the Kent Farms answering machine. Let's just hope there's no bored NIA agent playing with the phone-records  And the last thing anyone would expect would be for the flashy Flying Hero to be a world-famous writer in disguise. For this persona, he’d ditched his glasses altogether and slicked his hair back with gel in a way that was more severe than the softer moussed style Clark usually wore in public. I guess Clark's going to develop triple-personality-disorder now. After all, he's Clark, farm boy, hiding behind Clark Kent, world famous author, hiding behind Superman, world famous superhero Oh, no. The universe hated him. hehehehe, but I did wonder if Lois would recognize him this time around Apparently, it worked. Because, as Hero Guy sheepishly excused himself from his bomb-induced burp, Lois did not say, “I know you! You’re Clark Kent, that smarmy Tom Clancy wannabe I couldn’t get a decent interview out of last week!” Well, he could go by the name of Clark This was all Lois Lane’s fault. Ever since he had flown with her through the open sky, her lithe body cradled in his arms and her silky hair brushing against his chest, ever since she had stared into his eyes with that look of enraptured adoration, he couldn’t concentrate on anything else. Hehehehehe. And he could switch to writing romance novels. After all, there were billions of people in the world, millions in Metropolis alone. How likely was it that the same person would need rescuing more than once in a blue moon? p(A)=1? “Nice shot of you and the Star’s entertainment editor at the Riverdance opening. What was her name again?” Did Lois see him dancing? “Superman! Help!”
He knew that voice. “Lois Lane’s in trouble,” That's going to be getting old pretty fast. That earned a small smile from the hero. “You’re welcome. I believe you’re my first repeat customer. And if you collect ten rescues, you get the eleventh one for free. I’m assuming that there are other tenants in your building, and I wouldn’t want my visit there to become grist for the rumor mill.” Can you imagine? One night she entertains Clark Kent, the next one, Superman Another great installment, HG! Michael
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Michael, I'll have you know that I was laughing very loudly at your feedback. I'm glad you're along for the ride. Yes, indeed, p(A)=1. And only in a fandom as geeky as ours would you assume that I would know exactly what you meant. Catch you later. Part 9 is up now. (Come on, you know you want to blow off your work and catch up.)
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Bump again.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Stumbles across old FDK thread with a bumper sticker at the bottom and realizes it's basically exactly one year since this was last written to  PPS:
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Sorry, Michael, but it's been a crazy year. In addition to my brother passing in February (expected after a long cancer battle, but nonetheless devastating), we found out in June that we're having our sixth child in February (definitely unexpected, but nonetheless happy). So I want you to picture me, older than most baby mamas, five kids ages 8-17, very round with an aching back, lying on the sofa with the iMac on the coffee table so I can put my feet up while I'm on the computer. But at least you know there's a hard deadline--this story has to be finished before Bubba arrives. I'm glad to see, though, that I haven't entirely lost all my readers' interest by my long absence.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: May 2009
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
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Congratulations (for the new arrival)!
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
No time to write much now. I just wanted to ditto everyone else's kudos on the story.
Congratulations on baby HG. :-)
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Thanks, Lynn. It's a boy (this makes four boys in a row), so does that make him HB?
This *is* my happily ever after.
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