Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Boy in Black (41/?)

Thanks as always to, Carol!!

From Chapter 40

“I should get back to Metropolis,” I replied.

“Clark…” Mom started, and I could hear the gentle lecturing tone to her voice already.

“I know. I can't be everywhere at once. It's not all my responsibility. It's okay to be a normal teenager,” I recited.

“Well, it's good that you hear us even if you're not really listening,” Mom said with a smile. I wanted to be insulted, but I knew it was true. I believed them and yet… well, I didn't really.

Not having an appropriate response, I gave Mom a kiss on the cheek and without a word headed back to campus.

Chapter 41

“I'm meeting with that girl, Cat, tomorrow morning to discuss the disciplinary hearing,” Lois told me after class. We had finished our articles over the weekend, and just handed them in. Now that they were essentially in the past, we were obsessed with working on the Planet internship application. Since Cat was working on the Paul story, Lois was committed to writing about the football team getting test answers ahead of time.

I was still at a loss. I had no idea what to write about. For now I was focusing on the boring paperwork part of the application, and sort of hoping that an article topic would land in my lap.

Aside from the fact that it would mean I wouldn't have had a chance at a recommendation, I sort of wished I had used my lame track re-pavement idea for the article in Professor Matthews' class and saved the med school paper for the application. That was certainly up to the internship application type standards.

Now not only did I not have any idea of a topic that would be at least acceptable for the application, but since Mr. White had seen that article, I felt like I had just set a benchmark for myself, and my application article had to be better than the med school article.

“Are you nervous?” I asked Lois about her interview with Cat.

“Not really,” she admitted. “I talked to her a little bit over the phone, and I believe her that she isn't trying to make me look bad. I just sort of hope that we get the decision before then. I know it won't really matter when I'm talking to her, but I'll feel better – like it's my way of putting the whole thing behind me.”

“Are you nervous about the outcome?” I asked her.

She shrugged. “Sort of. I know that things look good, but I just keep thinking that if the decision was that obvious, they would have gotten back to us by now. The fact that they still need time to decide doesn't bode well for justice being served.”

“Good to hear that you have such confidence in the system,” I said, nudging her with my shoulder.

Lois gave a small laugh. “I do. Sort of. But I just can't help but worry…”

“Don't,” I told her. “Trust Professor Matthews' feeling about this.”

“As if it were that easy,” she smiled at me.

“So,” I asked her, “what's your starting point for the football team article?”

Lois shrugged. “I think I'm going to start by talking to Chris. I mean, I promised I'd keep his name out of it - his frat brothers would kill him if they found out he was my source, but at least I'll have a better idea of where to go once I know more about who is involved and stuff.”

“Makes sense,” I told her. “Do you think you'll interview any of the students or teachers?” I asked her.

“I'd like to, but I'm not sure how I'll manage it yet,” Lois admitted. “I have to admit, part of talking to Chris is procrastinating.”

I smiled at her.

“So, what about you? Any topic ideas yet?” she asked.

“Not even a bad one,” I admitted. “I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I just stumble across something.”

“Well, if I hear about anything, I'll share it with you,” Lois offered.

“As long as it's no better than the football team cheating, and getting help from their professors, right?” I asked her with a grin.

“Doesn't that go without saying?” she asked me.

************************

I spent part of the next day looking into how to reserve the music practice rooms. I wasn't sure if she had meant it or not, but Lois had said she's play the piano for me after our articles were finished. While clearly my time would be better spent looking for a topic for the internship application, this was much more fun.

I wasn't one-hundred percent sure that Lois would play for me, but it wasn't like we'd get in trouble for not using the room, and I really did want to hear her. I had trouble picturing Lois playing the piano, and I felt like perhaps seeing her play would allow me to learn more about her.

It wasn't that easy to reserve a room. The thought seemed to be that it was mainly music majors and minors that would want them, so only people in the music department knew how. It took awhile before I found someone who could help me, although once I did, the process was pretty easy. It was mainly a first-come-first-serve thing, so I signed up for the first free time that I thought would work for both of us, and had the rest of the afternoon free.

I spent the free time working on homework assignments, catching up on everything due that week. Now I had the rest of the week free to panic about the Planet internship. The recommendation would do me no good if I didn't hand in an article with my application.

“Hey,” Lois came up behind me as I was walking towards the cafeteria. “I was hoping to bump into you. Do you want to have dinner?”

“Yeah,” I said, glad to see her. I was trying hard to put my conversation with my parents out of my mind, and so far was successful. Still, while I was shying away from labeling my feelings for Lois, I couldn't deny that just seeing her made me happy.

“What's your secret?” Lois asked as we sat down.

“To what?” I asked her.

“Your diet. I've been eating with you several times a week for the past six months, and you have the most atrocious diet,” she said pointing to my tray. I looked down to take in my dinner for tonight – fried chicken with French fries and a rather large slice of carrot cake. “How do you eat like that and look the way you do?” she asked me.

“Hey, it's not so bad. For instance, I chose carrot cake for dessert…”

“One of the most fattening cake choices,” Lois interrupted. “With the cream cheese frosting on that, it's worse than the chocolate cake they have.”

“Really?” I asked. While I knew a lot of random trivia as I had a pretty good memory, I never paid much attention to nutrition information. Given that I never gained weight, and I didn't think it was likely that I'd need to worry about human ailments like high cholesterol, I didn't bother to pay much attention to what was healthy and what wasn't. I knew the basics – fruit and vegetables good, fried food and highly processed food bad. Anything beyond that, though, seemed like useless information.

“Yes, really,” Lois said, shaking her head at me.

“What?” I asked her.

“You're such a guy in some ways,” she told me.

“I'm sorry?” I said, although it came out as a question. What was wrong with being a guy?

She laughed. “It's okay. No need to apologize. But you still haven't answered my question. What's your secret? How do you eat like that and maintain your weight?”

I started to tell her I worked out regularly, but that wasn't true, and Lois probably knew enough about my schedule to know that. So what could I tell her? After a silence that lasted just a second or two too long, I realized the truth would be okay here. “I'm just lucky, I guess,” I told her. “I've never seemed to have to worry much about my weight.”

“Lucky you,” Lois smiled at me.

“Do you?” I asked her, surprised.

Lois shrugged. “Well, not super carefully, but yeah, I do think about what I eat. If I don't, I eat too much chocolate and that definitely impacts my weight.”

“Well, you look great right now,” I told her with a smile.

“Thanks,” she replied, blushing.

This was the part of our relationship that was the strangest. We kept letting our hormones get the best of us, and yet, we were still so nervous around each other that Lois blushed when I said she looked good. And the thought of giving her a more detailed compliment than that made me blush.

I was pretty sure that despite telling me it was okay to act like a teenager, Mom and Dad wouldn't approve of this. They had always been clear that they thought physical intimacy should go hand in hand with emotional intimacy. If I didn't feel comfortable talking about doing something with someone, then I shouldn't do it.

“Lois?” I asked without thought. “Do you think there's something wrong with our relationship?” Did I really just ask that?

“What?” Lois asked, looking as stunned as I would have expected if I had bothered to think before I spoke. Of course, in this case had I done that, I never would have spoken at all.

I took a deep breath. The best way out of this was probably honesty. Anything else was likely to sound like I wasn't really interested in her.

“It's just… well, I feel like we're still sort of unsure around each other,” I started.

“Well yeah, but our relationship just started,” Lois pointed out.

“And yet… sometimes when we're together it's like we… well, we act like a much more serious couple than people who blush around each other so much.”

Just saying those words made me blush, and when I looked up, I could see that Lois was blushing, too.

“I guess,” she mumbled.

“It's like we're almost more serious subconsciously than we are consciously,” I said.

“Yeah,” Lois said, looking at her watch. “I have to go,” she said. “I have an evening class.”

I glanced at my watch. I was sure she was being honest, but I thought she still had another half hour before it started. Had I just really screwed things up?

“Okay,” I said. “By the way, I reserved a practice room with a piano in it for tomorrow afternoon. Are you still willing to play for me?” I hoped that changing the subject would be a good thing, but Lois still looked pale and eager to get away.

“Yeah, that's fine,” she said. “What time?”

“Two o'clock,” I told her. “Should I meet you at your dorm?”

“Sounds good. I really have to go, Clark,” she said, gathering her stuff.

“Okay. See you tomorrow,” I said as she got up and nearly ran out of the cafeteria. Yup, I had totally screwed things up.

************************

I took a seat outside of Lois' room at a quarter to two. Lois was no where to be found, and while I could hear Star down the hall, I didn't feel like bothering her. I could just as easily wait for Lois in the hallway anyway.

At ten after two, I started to wonder if Lois was going to stand me up. I hadn't expected that of her. Even though I definitely got the impression I had made a mistake yesterday, and maybe even destroyed the easy camaraderie that enabled us to have a relationship, I hadn't considered the idea that she would just not show up. Just how long was I willing to hang around here waiting for her anyway? I wasn't sure.

Finally at a quarter after two, I heard Lois' heartbeat near the front door of her dorm. There didn't seem to be any reason to wait for her near her room, so I got up to meet her.

“Hi,” I called when I could see her down the hall. I decided it was only fair to let her know she was about to bump into me since I knew she was coming.

“Hi,” she replied so softly I wouldn't have been able to hear her without my hearing. So, I decided to wait to reply.

“Did I screw things up yesterday?” I asked her when she got closer to me. I couldn't believe I had the nerve to ask the question. What was wrong with me?

Lois flushed and stared resolutely at the floor. “No,” she said. “You didn't say anything I hadn't already thought. It was just… I guess I hadn't expected you to say anything about it.”

I looked around, taking in the students milling around the hallway and decided that maybe the dorm hallway was not the right place for this conversation. “Can we go someplace and talk?” I asked her.

Lois nodded. “Is the recital room still available?” she asked.

“Yeah. I got it for an hour,” I told her.

We walked towards the music building in silence, and I could feel the unease between us. I never should have said anything. We found the room that was assigned to us relatively easily, and Lois took a seat on the piano bench. I sat on the one other chair in the room, a somewhat cushy guest type chair.

Neither of us said anything for a minute or two, and then Lois turned around and started playing scales on the piano. She played for a couple of minutes before stopping, taking a deep breath, and beginning to play for real. It only took a few moments before I recognized the song she was playing as Tchaikovsky's The Sleeping Beauty Waltz, and I sat back to enjoy the music.

In some ways, if I had been able to imagine Lois as a piano player, I would have done so correctly. Not one to do anything half way, I would have imagined her being very skilled, and she was. Still, I don't think I would have given her enough credit. Maybe it was just as it was so counter to my image of her, but I would have imagined her as skilled but somewhat cold.

She was anything but. Lois seemed lost in the music. She was quiet, contemplative, and passionate as she played. She was nearly as fascinating to watch as to listen to, and I found my eyes glued to her throughout the nearly five minutes of the song.

“Wow!” I said softly when she finished. “You were amazing.”

“Thanks,” she nearly whispered, her fingers still hovering over the keys, the last notes of the song still lingering in the air.

We settled into silence once again. I wasn't even sure – did I want to continue our conversation and clear the air or hear her play some more?

“I'm sorry I freaked out yesterday,” she said softly, her fingers starting to play again, but softly this time, and a tune I didn't recognize. “You didn't say anything I hadn't thought before, but… I guess I wasn't ready to think about it.”

“Me, too,” I admitted. “I'm not sure what made me say anything. I hadn't intended to.”

Lois didn't reply, but the forlorn sound of the piece she was playing filled the room. “I… I've never felt this way about someone,” she finally whispered, barely audible over the music.

“Me neither,” I replied. It was true. I didn't think I was in love with her, and yet if I was honest with myself, my feelings for her were so different from what I had felt for Maddie that it was weird to compare in that way. “When we're together, I don't think at all,” I said. “I've never done that before.”

“It scares me a little,” Lois admitted. “I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt. I don't deal well with secrets, Clark,” she said, looking up at me. “Whatever came between you and Maddie… I worry it will come between us too if you don't trust me with it.”

“I'd never knowingly hurt you,” I said. It was a half hearted reply, I knew. But I couldn't promise not to keep it from her. I knew I would. Still, some part of me wondered - could I tell her the truth? I almost wanted to. I had the feeling that if anyone could accept me as I was, it was Lois.

I wasn't ready yet, though.

“I know,” she whispered. “But that doesn't mean you won't.”

I didn't reply and we let the sound of the music fill the room once more.