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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699 |
Poor Lois and Clark. The tension in this section was very well written. And you're right not to have Lois accept a hasty apology and have the problem blow over in an instant.
Looking forward to more,
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Interesting part... poor Clark however, he couldn't see Lois wearing the present  more soon!! Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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Oh Laura, I just caught up. And this is really, really great.
I love season 4 stories and you have picked an area which is so ripe for exploration- how frustrating to be married to Superman!
And the tension and the sadness really jump off the screen here. Really, really, nice.
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
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Laura,
This part was excellent. Very well written!
Poor Lois. She convinces herself that she is not mad, only to wake up and discover that she really is. This rings so true, I can definitely identify with what Lois is going through. You also were able to express her frustration at not knowing exactly what she is feeling - anger, hurt, frustration, rejection, all of the above? She is angry at herself for being angry at Clark. (In fact, part of her is probably angry at herself for being angry at herself!) I thought you described Lois' feelings with a great deal of insight, honesty, and sensitivity.
Looking forward to Part 5,
- Vicki
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great piece. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Just a quick reply to say I read this part too and it was very good  Loved the conversation between L&C. Post more soon, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Posts: 118
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 118 |
Great Part, but no Penny. I really want to know what she is up to. Clark abandoned her for some Superman engagement several times a week. Their relationship was suffering. Their relationship was suffering. She had every right to be angry! The rest of the world seemed to be replacing her in his affections.
No, she wasn't exactly angry. She was hurt, profoundly hurt -- he was treating her like she was second best.
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He couldn't expect her to accept his jetting off to celebrity events at every opportunity. It made her feel like she wasn't important to him. She needs to tell him that. He just needed to learn to prioritize. With the regular Superman emergencies alone, they didn't get enough time together. With the other events added in, they rarely saw each other. This is the problem and Clark is not seeing it. It seemed like he was making everything else take priority -- everything but his wife. And she hated herself for feeling that way. I like that she is feeling guilt, she understands the importance of what he is doing, but she has the right to be a little selfish after what happened. It was his birthday, his first as a married man. It should have been a wonderful, unforgettable day for both of them. It wasn't just that they hadn't been intimate in over a week. She'd wanted to make him a birthday surprise he would never forget. Clark should save important dates for them, he was really stupid and maybe insentive. Plus, she wasn't sure if she *was* more important than a charity. Poor Lois. This is really bad. She needs to tell him how she feels. Ingra
Clark: What is that?
Lois: It's my word.
Clark: There is no such word.
Lois: Sure there is. Someone's a chump, therefore, he's chumpy.
Clark: Try again.
Lois: Are you challenging me?
Clark: You bet your sweet little chumpy I am.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Laura This is great. Tricia 
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Laura
great part - very well written
more soon please
merry
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Thanks for your comments, Irene, Jose, CC, Vicki, Maria, Anna, Ingra, Tricia, Merry, and Laura! I really appreciate all of your comments! Thank you so much to everyone that thought the tension was good -- I worked really hard to try to make it as believable as I could . The tension in this section was very well written. And you're right not to have Lois accept a hasty apology and have the problem blow over in an instant. Thank you! I thought the hasty appology wouldn't let them get everything out in the open and the pain would fester and get worse until Lois explodes. Great Part, but no Penny. I really want to know what she is up to Don't worry, you'll see her soon . She's been busy! The next part will be posted shortly I have 2 exams this week and the class I'm teaching has an exam, so it's going to be a crazy week for me  - Laura 
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Oh, Laura. I can't add much to what's been said already, but can only echo it. You made me feel so sorry for both of them here. I almost felt guilty enjoying so much the fact that we were getting to delve more deeply into an issue that the show was only able to show us fleetingly. As Irene and (I think) CC said, the tension and the emotion of their dilemma was powerfully written in this segment. And you've touched on some thoughtful and insightful moments. Rushing on to the next part! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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