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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Feedback goes here.  I'm hoping to get Part 21 to the betas tonight.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
I'm first? Really? Yay! Oh, wait, I actually have to add comments.  This was adorable. Sweet, sweet, sweet! I might have a cavity ... but it was well worth it.  I'm actually smiling very broadly right now, just thinking of these two. I love the little interludes, and I LOVE that Perry got to watch Lois and Caleb together. I'm a sucker for those little voyeuristic moments and this one was done especially well. So thank you! The weekend away was cute, too. See, Lois, there are advantages to being with Clark Kent! He has money! And travel experience! And great, romantic ideas! (And he can play poker and hoist large farm equipment in his spare time. <g>) Can't wait for more. Kathy
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 338
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 338 |
Nicely written, enforcing the 'growing closer' aspect of Lois and Clark's relationship... can't wait for the next chapter!
Cheers
Elizabeth
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
I agree. The weekend away, Clark's conversation with his dad and poker night with Perry was very sweet. I think it's going to be fun to watch as well. What I don't understand is what Clark is waiting for. He needs to tell Lois who he is, soon. And we need another post. Soon.  BJ
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377 |
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Yes, yes, delightful and sweet.
Now if you don't want some of us to OD on the sugar could we get some A plot time?
You know get Superman shot already? With a green stained bullet?
Or get Lois kidnapped?
Framework4
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Sorry, Framework. If you want a lot of A-plot you've got the wrong girl. On the other hand, we do recognize this poker game, don't we? There is at least a little A-plot on the way.
I'm not rewriting the Season One episodes because I assume we all know them by heart. (And no, we're not going to go through the entire first season in this story, don't worry.) I'm more interested in how the little tweaks I've made might change things. Yes, Lex is around and he's a bad guy, but the primary problem to be solved in this story is a relational one. Like somebody said earlier, yeah, yeah, we all know what happened in this episode--let's get to the good stuff.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
I see that Perry suffers from the same "facial recognition deficiency syndrome" as everyone else in the L&C universe.
Nobody seems to recognize "Caleb Knight" as either Superman or Clark Kent. This despite Lois dropping a hint that they were at the Clark Kent book signing.
(Of course, in their defense, I wouldn't be looking for a millionaire author or a superhero at my evening poker game, either. Context is everything.)
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Now, Iolan (is it Iolan or Iolanthe?), if you're going to insist that people recognize Calrk in his various guises, you've just untwisted the entire fandom. 
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
“Are you serious? You haven’t been swimming in three years?” Something tells me that's not going to last. I had a big grin on my face the whole way through  Oblivious to his boss’s scowl, Jimmy whispered, “The guy's got x-ray vision. He could read everyone else's cards.”
“Jimmy!” Perry finally had the young man’s attention. “We all get it. But Superman isn’t here, so will you please just *be quiet* and let us play?” Jimmy’s eyes got wide and he nodded in silent assent.
Turning back to Clark with a disgusted grunt, Perry said, “Fold.” Interesting. Lois didn't mention that Superman would never cheat, mainly because she knows he's right next to her so she doesn't even consider this point. Which now begs the question, did Clark give in to temptation? And is Caleb Knight going to join the staff? Michael
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
Which now begs the question, did Clark give in to temptation? If he did, it was to throw the game, LOL. Remember, in the show, Clark was afraid to lose money. But Caleb is under orders to make sure Perry comes out slightly ahead at the end of the night. No real temptation here; if he uses his powers, it's to lose, not to win. And is Caleb Knight going to join the staff? Ooo, good question! Now that he's established as a freelancer in Perry's eyes, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for Caleb and Lois to start working together officially, would it? Maybe even on ... Lex Luthor? Heh, lots of ways this could go. Kathy
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
/me whistles innocently/ Thank you,everyone, for the feedback. Part 21 is coming up.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
bump
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
I probably won't be giving detailed replies to the next several parts -- I have a lot of reading to do to catch up! But I couldn't let this line get by me without comment: Instead, she tightened her grip on the corner of the red silk cape which she had commandeered for her own use as a blanket and pulled it further under her chin. That is just so sweet, and it speaks volumes about Lois' comfort level with Superman/Caleb/Clark. Using his cape as a blankie is about as far removed from being awed or intimidated by the superhero as it is possible to get! Lois was indeed in love, as Perry had suspected. But the good news was, so was Caleb Knight.
This was going to be fun to watch It is indeed. Moving right along to the next part... Joy, Lynn
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