From last time:
Lois stared up at his star, the bright little spark blurred by the tears in her eyes. She pulled out the chain around her neck and held the large gold ring between her fingers, its smooth surface flawless and perfect to the touch. "Come back to me," she whispered. She placed her hand against her stomach. "Come back to us."
********
New Stuff:
Clark left the bridge of the ship unsure of what had just transpired. The conversation he and Zara had just had with several of New Krypton's councilors had been brief and bewildering. Things were discussed only in the vaguest of terms, since most were certain that Nor or his followers would intercept the communication. After a rather stiff and formal 'welcome and thank you' from the councilors, they'd immediately begun bickering over what to do regarding Nor. Recent attacks by rebel forces on the colony's communication systems had meant that there had been no video feed, which had made it harder to keep track of all of the councilors. Several seemed rather skeptical of him and his intentions. A few seemed to consider him merely a convenience, but he thought there were others who seemed truly grateful for his help. From their brief conversation it became apparent that the attacks on the colony outposts were growing more vicious and more frequent. They were still a month away from New Krypton and all parties jointly wished for a safe and quick arrival of the ship and its crew.
Clark made his way to his quarters. The crew would be gathering soon to eat, but he wasn't hungry. He'd been skipping meals and it certainly wasn't helping him keep his strength up, but he just didn't feel much like eating. He shut the door to his room behind him and sat down on his bunk. The room was sparse, sterile and annoyingly functional. He pulled out the picture of Lois that was tucked away in the little cabinet by his bed. A small smile started to tug at the corners of his mouth. He looked down at the image of his wife, the likeness of her reclining on his sofa, absorbed in a sheaf of papers she held in her hand. She'd been completely oblivious to him and the camera, unaware of the fact that he'd been watching her for long minutes, absolutely mesmerized by her and that he'd decided to take her picture. It wasn't something he felt compelled to do often, but he remembered how he felt just then, knowing it was one of those perfect moments, unwilling to let it merely pass by, getting lost in the jumble of countless memories imperfectly remembered.
So without her knowing, he slipped away and found his camera, returning to quietly snap a picture of her, concentrating intently on her work, her long, perfect, legs stretched out in front of her, wearing one of his dress shirts much better than he ever could; the top few buttons undone, exposing the flawless skin of her neck. During dinner, he'd clumsily spilled half a glass of red wine on her blouse and skirt. It was a rather absurd thing for a superpowered being to do, but it hadn't been entirely his fault, she'd distracted him! He'd apologetically offered to get her something else to wear, but she insisted that she could manage to find something herself. Her choice had no doubt been made as a particularly pleasant form of torture for him. How could she dress like that and then insist that they work?
A small frown played at the corners of her mouth, but her expression was totally open, unguarded. He'd hesitated before taking the picture, knowing that if he did, he wouldn't merely record the moment, he'd obliterate it, too. The flash, the sound of the shutter, they would break the spell. But it had been worthwhile. Taking the picture had even been worth Lois's annoyance at the fact that he'd been too busy playing freelance photographer to get any work done. Now, he had a tangible reminder of that Friday evening, lounging around his apartment with Lois, proving that all he needed was a jug of wine, a loaf of bread (or in that case, authentic Chinese food) and her.
His frustration grew as he contrasted the simplicity of that evening, of the way everything had seemed to make perfect sense in that moment to the way things were now. Everything seemed backwards and mixed up; nothing made any sense at all and things didn't seem to be getting any clearer. He prayed for the craft to hurry up and get where it was going; he was going stir crazy on that ship. It felt like they did nothing but sit around and wait. His patience for all the training and preparing was growing thin and he wanted it to end. The sooner they got to New Krypton, the sooner they could get rid of Nor and the sooner he could go home. It wasn't that simple, but thinking about things in black and white terms made them easier to stomach. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back and take Lois flying again. It'd been a month since he'd been flying, but he wouldn't have cared if he never did it again, just so long as he got to be with Lois.
********
Martha tiptoed quietly past Clark's room, hoping not to wake her now superpowered daughter-in-law. She avoided the fifth step, which tended to creak loudly. Martha didn't know if Lois had been a light sleeper before the power transfer, but from her last few visits, Martha knew the younger woman hadn't been sleeping well and the smallest things would startle her awake. In the first weeks since Clark had left, Lois had visited them on a number of occasions. Things were at least a little easier when they were all together, though the togetherness could also merely highlight Clark's obvious absence. When she came to visit, Lois always stayed in Clark's room. The first few times it seemed like staying there had been too much for her. Being surrounded by reminders of Clark was difficult for her and Jonathan; she didn't imagine it was any different for Lois. At the same time, it was a comfort. The mix of emotions all jumbled up inside created such confusion and turmoil.
She reached the base of the staircase and quietly made her way to the kitchen in the dark. It was summer and the days were quite long, but it would still be a while before dawn broke. Martha turned on the light in the kitchen and jumped back, startled.
"Goodness you frightened me," she said to the somber looking young woman sitting at the table. She hadn't expected to find her daughter-in-law sitting in the kitchen, alone and in the dark at a quarter to five in the morning, but she wasn't really surprised by the fact that Lois had been unable to sleep.
"Sorry," Lois replied. "I guess I couldn't sleep."
Martha merely nodded. "How do you feel?"
"Tired, nervous, scared..." Lois admitted.
"Why don't I make us some breakfast and..."
"No," Lois interrupted. "I mean, thank you, but I really don't think I could eat anything."
"It's all right," Martha said gently. She sat down at the table.
"Yeah, they say that morning sickness passes, but frankly it doesn't seem to know the difference between morning and middle of the night..."
"No, I meant the being scared part."
"Oh," Lois replied. She looked up over Martha's shoulder. "Good morning," she said.
"You're both up early," Jonathan replied.
"Well, there's work to do," Martha answered.
"That there is." Jonathan smiled.
Lois stood up. "Let me help."
"The chickens do need feeding, and I think you'll be able to hold your own against the rooster," Jonathan said.
********
"Are you sure you're okay doing this?" Jonathan asked from under the tractor.
"I'm fine," Lois replied, easily balancing the tractor a few feet off the ground.
"I appreciate the help," Jonathan said as he finished changing the oil. "This is much easier than using a jack."
"Well, I knew these powers would come in handy," Lois replied. "Big shoes to fill, though."
"You're doing just fine," Jonathan said.
"For now, I guess. I'll start to show in a few months, and Ultrawoman will have to disappear."
Jonathan merely grunted. "Just a little while longer," he muttered. "There, got it." Jonathan slid out from under the tractor. He wiped the grime from his hands and dropped the wrench back in his toolbox, chewing his lip, deep in thought. "I guess that's the only thing you can do," he said at last.
Lois lowered the tractor back to the ground. "I mean, it's not like Ultrawoman and I can just coincidentally be pregnant at the same time. I don't need to make an announcement for anyone out there ready to connect some dots."
"Speaking of announcements, does anyone else know you're pregnant?" Jonathan asked.
Lois simply shook her head. "I came here as soon as I found out. I'll need to tell Perry."
"Don't forget your parents."
She groaned and looked away. "I hadn't even thought of that. I didn't tell them Clark and I got married, but I guess this will be a little harder to hide."
Jonathan placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you worried they'll be upset?" he asked gently.
"Honestly, I don't know what to expect from them," she confessed.
"If there's anything Martha and I can do, just ask," he said.
Lois placed a hand on top of his and smiled tremulously. "I know," she replied. She blinked back tears for about the millionth time in the last twenty-four hours. And she'd thought the constant crying was behind her. Just when she thought she was beginning to pull herself together -- almost at the point where she'd be able to sleep through an entire night without waking because the pain in her chest where her heart used to be was so consuming she couldn't breathe, or to last just one minute without thinking of how much worse it was than the one before -- a new challenge, daunting and confusing, loomed large over her. How was she going to do this? The panic threatened to wash over her in waves. 'Calm down, Lane,' she tried to tell herself. 'One step at a time.'
"I'm sorry," she said at last. "I feel like I've been constantly falling apart on you guys."
Jonathan pulled her into a tight hug. "Lois, you're stronger than even you realize. Few people could endure what you're going through...and all the good you've done as Ultrawoman during a time when most anyone else would be too wrapped up in themselves to even think about helping others. And this, well, I'd be more worried if you weren't terrified. Becoming a parent can be a pretty scary thing, especially when you weren't expecting it. But you'll have help. We don't want you to feel like you have to go through this alone."
"Thank you," she murmured. "And I don't. Feel like I'm doing this alone. I don't know what I'd do without you and Martha." She hugged her father-in-law tightly, grateful for his strength and support.
********
Leaving Kansas early in the morning meant getting into the Daily Planet about on time for any regular employee. Sure, she was hours late for Lois Lane, but it wasn't likely to raise too many eyebrows. Everyone had gone out of their way to well, get out of her way, as of late. That wasn't an entirely fair assessment. It was mainly the junior staff, the ones who worried about irritating a fragile, yet ever combustible Lois Lane, who gave her the wide berth. The Planet veterans didn't really seem to know how to act. They'd seen enough of Mad Dog Lane to know the tell tale cues and to know that they were nowhere to be seen. Lois wasn't looking for an argument or openly fuming these days, she also didn't seem likely to snap at the first person that decided to make a nuisance of him or herself. No, Lois seemed more likely to break like a sliver of glass than to snap at anyone. And that’s what had her colleagues confused. They'd learned how to avoid an angry Lois Lane and how to stay off her bad side, but they had no idea what to do with a Lois Lane who looked and seemed just like she'd lost her best friend because she literally had.
Most everyone in the newsroom would say that Clark's disappearance had resulted in them losing a friend, but no one would claim to be in the same category as Lois Lane in that regard. Lois was just a different person with Clark in her life. While none of them had known Clark before he started at the Planet, there was no mistaking the profound impact she'd had on his life, either. They were just better people because of each other. Perhaps some of them were expecting Lois to revert to form in his absence, but there was really no way she was going to go back to the way she was before Clark entered her life. She certainly wasn't the Lois Lane of two months ago, either. Instead, this Lois seemed merely to be grinning and bearing whatever life threw her way, doing a heck of a lot more of the latter than the former. Things just seemed so burdensome to their once tireless colleague.
It was hard for them to know what to say to her. Condolences weren't really in order. While some suspected that Clark might be dead, no one dared breathe a word aloud to that effect. They couldn't reassure her that all was being done to locate him, because there was just no way of knowing. Superman apparently had promised to search for Clark, and while the hero's word was better than gold, this was no ordinary missing person's case. Clark had been dragged into some otherworldly war zone, likely to be used as bait. There was never any news of progress or disappointments, new leads to consider and trails that had gone cold. She was literally in the dark and powerless to do anything. Her coworkers didn't pretend to have any words of comfort and strength that would magically make things better. They were too smart for that. As a result, they didn't say much at all. They'd ask how she was doing, offer sympathetic smiles and the like, but there wasn't much else they could do.
The usual smiles and subdued 'hellos' were the order of the day as Lois stepped off the elevator and into the newsroom just after nine that morning. She made an earnest attempt to return pleasantries, but the fact that her heart wasn't in it was apparent to everyone. Without bothering to stop by her own desk first, she made her way to the editor's office. With a brief knock, she opened his door, not bothering to wait for a formal invitation.
Lois drew in a deep breath as she entered the cloistered confines of Perry's office. Perry looked up as she closed the door softly behind her.
"Morning, Lois," he said, clearly trying to sound lighthearted.
She wondered how she should break the news to him, but figured that directness was as good an approach as any. She could count on Perry to maintain a confidence; a month after the fact, her marriage to Clark was still unknown to virtually everyone who wasn't present. Perry had assured them that he would file the certificate with a judge who was a close personal friend and who was the very model of circumspection. True to his word, Perry filed the paperwork and nothing happened. Not one media source had reported on the very recent nuptials of Clark Kent, hapless alien abductee, and Lois Lane. She hadn't told her parents about the wedding. She realized it was sad that she didn't feel much like sharing that with her own family, but she wasn't that close to her parents and there was no way she could make them understand the reasons for it without going into a great many things they were better off not knowing.
Perry, on the other hand, was more of a father to her than her own father. It only seemed natural that she was telling him about the baby before her own parents. Of course, she hadn't actually said anything yet, and the long, drawn out silence was quickly becoming awkward.
"Lois, are you all right?" he asked.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. Well, she had decided to be direct.
"Oh," he said, as though incapable of forming actual words. "Oh," he repeated, this time with more emphasis. Perry stood up and started to walk around his desk toward her. "Well, uh, are you okay?"
"A bit shaky," she admitted. Lois gave him a tremulous smile. "But lucky for you, I think I pretty much cried myself out for at least a good week."
Perry seemed to stop dead in his tracks. "Honey, I'm so...I mean, I..." he began, clearly unsure what to say.
She quickly realized what he thought she'd meant and rushed to clarify. "Not sad crying," she explained. "Mostly just scared. I mean, this isn't exactly the ideal situation and I can't go five seconds without wishing Clark were here, but I, I want...this, you know?"
Perry nodded with a slight smile and stepped toward her to envelop her in a warm embrace. "I guess congratulations are in order then," he said.
"I think, for now, they should be pretty quiet congratulations," she replied.
"Of course. No champagne and funny hats, then," he said with a smile. "Well no champagne for you either way," he amended.
"I don't think it would have an effect," she said offhandedly. "Not that I’m going to test that theory." She chewed her lip, realizing that there was a lot that neither she nor anyone else knew about superbeings carrying superbabies. Well, that would have to be remedied as soon as possible, though that was easier said than done. The insistent churning of her stomach served as a reminder that she was certainly susceptible to morning sickness like any other pregnant woman. "I should probably get to work," she said at last.
"Take good care of yourself, Darlin'," Perry repeated his now familiar paternal advice.
"Still superpowered, remember, Perry?" she resisted more out of habit than any actual protest and he nodded in recognition of that fact. She smiled as she retreated from his office; feeling as though a weight she hadn't even known was pulling her down had been lifted. Talking to Perry hadn't eliminated her questions or concerns, but telling him had made her feel better anyway. She only wished the same would be true of telling her parents.
********
The quarterstaffs met with a thunderous crack that echoed through the gymnasium. Clark defended against a flurry of attack combinations, successfully beating back Ching's offensive. He exhaled in a sharp hiss as he blocked an overhand attack. Clark tried to take in a deep breath, but for some reason, he couldn't ease the burning that spread in his lungs. He felt his legs buckle as the same fire that blossomed in his chest consumed his muscles. With closed eyes and clenched teeth, he repelled the attack, but was unable to counter. Leaning on his quarterstaff, Clark breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling with the exertion. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, his blood near boiling in his veins. He just couldn't get enough oxygen; it was like trying to breathe in space. Clark fully expected a merciless assault to rain down upon him, but none was forthcoming. He glanced up to see Ching with his staff at the ready, apparently also taking a much needed break. Ching was also breathing heavily, though he seemed in better condition than Clark.
"I don't know why I'm so winded," Clark confessed.
"They've been slowly reducing the oxygen content in the ship's atmosphere," Ching explained nonchalantly. He stood on the balls of his feet, shifting his weight nimbly from one foot to the other. Apparently at least one of them had gotten a second wind. Ching moved more quickly now, preparing himself to do battle again.
"New Krypton had a proto-atmosphere when we landed there. Over the last thirty years, we've worked to create an atmosphere that we can actually breathe. Unfortunately, it's nowhere near as oxygen rich as the one to which you are accustomed. Our facilities are all oxygenated, but you must be prepared to fight in rather inhospitable places where the air is thin and the climate unwelcoming." The usual condescending tone was absent from Ching's voice.
"Ready?" Ching asked with slightest twitch of a smile. He readied his staff in the 'en garde' position. Their little break was over. Clark took a last deep breath and launched an attack combo - he might as well go on the offensive while he was fresh.
********
Ellen Lane paced in the living room of her apartment. It made Lois nervous. Then again, she would have been nervous regardless of what her mother was doing. Nevertheless, Lois still really wanted her to stop.
"Mother, please." Lois gestured at the open space on the couch next to her. Her father was seated in a chair across from the sofa - a safe enough distance from Ellen, or as safe as they were going to get with all of them in the same room.
Ellen sat down. "It's just that I know that this is a difficult time for you and I wish you would turn to me--us, instead of always turning to Martha and Jonathan."
With a sigh of exasperation, Lois rolled her eyes. She tried not to, but she couldn't help it. At least she wasn't nervous anymore - now she was annoyed. "Mother, their only son is missing. Have you at all considered the possibility that I might be turning to them because they need it as much as I do?"
"I'm just saying that we want to be here for you, and you push us away as you always do..." Ellen started off into what was going to turn into a tirade unless it was quickly nipped in the bud.
"I asked to see both of you today, didn't I?" Lois countered.
"Princess, what did you want to talk to us about?" Sam asked impatiently.
Lois looked down. God, this was so much easier with Martha. Even telling Perry had been a million times easier than this. "I'm pregnant," she said softly.
"What?!" Ellen exclaimed. The older woman nearly jumped off the sofa.
"Pregnant? Are...are you sure?" Sam asked.
Neither of her parents seemed particularly thrilled by the revelation. Then again, this was her family, what was she expecting? "I'm sure, Daddy," she replied. Lois looked up to make eye contact with her father. He frowned slightly.
"Did Clark know?" Ellen demanded.
"What?" Lois was thrown by the question. "No, no he didn't know. I just found out."
"Well, he seems to have impeccable timing anyway," Ellen snipped. She got up and started pacing again, threatening to send Lois over the edge.
It probably would have been a good time to try that counting to twenty thing before getting really angry and shooting your mouth off, but counting would have only irritated Lois more. At the moment, she was both ticked off and really, really impatient. "Are you insinuating that Clark would have left voluntarily if he had known?" She demanded, her voice eerily even.
"I'm just saying that men are men, they run away from their responsibilities. I should know!" Ellen exclaimed emphatically. "I was a fool for marrying your father, a philanderer who broke every promise he ever made."
"Can't you wait until I'm actually out of earshot to bad mouth me behind my back?" Sam grumbled loudly.
This was going even worse than she'd expected. "I will not sit here and listen to you attack Clark. He is the most decent and caring person I've ever known and he's probably going through hell at this very moment." The words were uttered forcefully, but Lois could feel the quiver in her throat, her voice about to break.
Ellen's expression softened. "What about you, Lois? What about what you're going through? That's all I'm concerned about. Even if he didn't mean it, he's putting you through hell, too. Leaving you here, unmarried and pregnant..."
And so went Lois's very last nerve. She leapt to her feet. "That's what you're worried about?!" she asked angrily. Tears pricked at her eyes, but the only thing she felt at that moment was fury. "I can't believe you, I can't believe the nerve..."
"Princess, that isn't what your mother meant, she's just worried about you..." her father suddenly attempted to step into the role of peacemaker - a duty he'd never performed well.
"How dare you?" Lois demanded, ignoring her father outright. "How can you be so petty? Even if you aren't happy, can't you try to be supportive?" Lois started for the door. There was no way she could stay and deal with this.
"Lois, please..." her mother tried to interrupt. Lois stopped and turned around. "I'm not the one passing judgment on you, but people talk and the man who got you into this mess isn't here to straighten it out..." Ellen Lane was doing nothing to help her case.
Lois took several long steps back away from the door and into the living room. "Mess? I'm pregnant, not dying. I'm going to have a baby. But all you seem to care about is the fact that the baby is illegitimate. Well guess what? Clark and I were married. We eloped." Lois had no idea why she was saying what she was saying. She knew that it didn't matter, that it shouldn't have mattered and that she previously had no intention of telling her parents about the wedding. But now that she'd started, she saw no reason to stop. She'd been angry with her parents before, but couldn't remember being this angry with them in a long time. Something inside her had snapped. Suddenly, she needed to turn her mother's self-righteousness back on her.
Halfway between where Ellen Lane was standing and the doorway that meant freedom, Lois paused and stared her mother right in the eye. "I got pregnant on my wedding night," she said, trying to mask the tremble in her voice. Her mother and father both remained mute, probably still stunned by the news of her wedding. "So you see, the baby was conceived in wedlock." Lois turned to walk out of the apartment.
"Honey, wait!" Sam called after her as he stood up, but Lois didn't stop.
"I hope you'll sleep better knowing your grandchild won't be a bastard," Lois said without turning around as she opened the door and walked out of the apartment. Behind her, she heard her mother break down into tears, but she couldn't bring herself to feel anything other than anger and contempt toward her parents at that moment. Tears pricked at her eyes and she angrily wiped them away as she stormed down the hallway and out of the building.
She ducked into an alley at the first possible instance and spun into the suit. Without a coherent thought in her head, she flew to Clark's apartment. Lois landed softly on the balcony and let herself in. At the moment, she was paying rent on both of their places, but she wouldn't be able to afford to do that indefinitely. She'd decided not to renew the lease on her own apartment when it expired in two months. It was a nice apartment with a great location and she'd miss it, but there was no way she could bear to give up Clark's place. Everything in it was his and everything reminded her of him. It was one of the few places she could go and be surrounded by memories of him. She could almost feel his presence here in the imprint he'd left on the place. In the stillness, he seemed to echo in the silence of this space, like he wasn't really gone, as if at any moment, he'd walk through the door or land on the balcony and be home again.
She took a deep breath. His smell had faded long ago, but she could still imagine it lingering in the air. With a tremulous sigh, she made her way to the bedroom. She changed out of the Ultrawoman costume mechanically and crawled into his bed, curling up in a ball under the blankets. Tears welled up in her eyes again and she didn't fight them.
