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Aha, the boards are back! Feedback goes here.
Thanks much.
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Artemis


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Delightful smile


Framework4
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great part - caught it on the other boards first while these were down!

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Oh, no, Henderson was there.
Interesting, how did Henderson manage to get there faster than Superman? Is there a mystery in play cool

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After returning to Henderson and reporting the tallies, he then said, “There’s one car with one person with apparent serious injuries. I’m going to take the car and occupant directly to Metropolis General Hospital.”
Woah, flat out lie. eek I’ve stopped to think about this a little more... he could have fudged to ‘There’s one car with a person I need to take to the hospital as quickly as possible.’ huh

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The driver’s side door to Lois’ car was locked, of course. Debating momentarily, Clark figured she’d have a fit if he tore the door off its hinges.
Yeah… Although, the car could be a total loss anyway huh

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Clark had returned to the accident scene and brought other cars with critically injured occupants back to several different hospitals once the police saw what he could do.
Hmm, they might start parking car-transports close to the hospitals if he continues with that practice wink

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“Since you’re part of the hunt for the illegal materials, I wanted you to know that we found a whole lot of the stuff in the cargo hold of that airplane.
Lex won’t like that.

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We didn’t interfere, but we are tracking where it is going in Metropolis by putting a bug on each crate.
Ahh…

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Do you think this ‘Superman’,” he did quote marks in the air, “is connected with the gunrunning operation in any way?”
Yes, if Lex gets his way...

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Oh, and you don’t want to see my chest!” After saying that, she blushed and followed up more softly, “It’s all black and blue!”
shock And considering the n-ding of Daytime, this is even more eek worthy.

The notes and Rita’s conclusions were nice touch. Great part and looking forward to 6 smile

Michael


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Thanks Framework & Sarah. The cool thing about the other boards is that it counts the number of readers and the FDK thread is a "watched topic" that sends me an e-mail.
Thanks Michael. Henderson was to the outside of the crowd around the airplane on the transition runway and he was to the airport side of I-95 and he didn't wait to hear all of Heroman's words to the media.
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After returning to Henderson and reporting the tallies, he then said, “There’s one car with one person with apparent serious injuries. I’m going to take the car and occupant directly to Metropolis General Hospital.”
I don't see why that's a flat out lie. He was concerned enough about Lois that he didn't want to move her and carry her himself. Believe me, I tried my hardest to have him carry her cradled in his arms where she could feel his arms around her and stare directly at the "S", but I just couldn't do it. drool


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I see about Henderson. Just figured that Henderson wouldn't have a heads-up on the accident so unless he was just driving by on the other side when it happened, they'd both have the same starting signal for chasing to the scene.

Re the lie: What I figured was that Lois couldn't be the most seriously injured so the way he makes it sound with 'apparent serious injuries' gave me the impression that he told everyone she was the most seriously injured. And given his background, fibbing about the scene of an accident was a very conscious, deliberate act. But maybe I'm just too serious wink

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Clark thinks he might have only two months with Lois if he doesn't defeat the asteroid.
jawdrop I've never seen it that way. spider This should be interesting. angel-devil

Michael


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Clark had returned to the accident scene and brought other cars with critically injured occupants back to several different hospitals once the police saw what he could do. He also pulled cars out of the side ditches and pulled them away from the bridge guard rails for the tow trucks to take them away. After all that, he had been thoroughly wet and muddy.
You know, this may make more of a good impression than saving the airplane. It would be great if someone from the Planet had a picture of the "thoroughly wet and muddy" Superman. That would humanize him more than anything else I can think of. Who wouldn't like a hero-man that gets dirty while working to save people? (Other than Lex of course.)

I loved the whole hospital scene with Sam, Clark and Lois. It's nice to see that they all seem to be getting along. However, this part caught me off guard:
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“Did you have to wait long?”

“I would have waited forever.”

Whoa. Lois blinked, stunned.
I'm used to thinking of Lois as being avoidance-prone for relationships and my immediate reaction was "Be careful, you'll scare her off." But I get the impression that this Lois isn't as easily frightened. I certainly hope not.

Bob

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Michael: I don't think he implied she was the *most* seriously injured. He just wanted to get her to a hospital quick and take care of her. It wasn't a logical choice, it was a choice from the heart. He's making this up as he goes along. Yes, Henderson got the radio call and scrammed out of there. Clark took a little more time and surved the accident from a distance before he landed among the EMT's who had come from the city.
Just to be clearer, I changed the first sentence of that part to
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The EMTs were surprised when Clark landed beside them after doing a quick survey of the extent of the pile-up.
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You know, this may make more of a good impression than saving the airplane. It would be great if someone from the Planet had a picture of the "thoroughly wet and muddy" Superman.
Bob: I didn't think of it that way, it was just a tossed off sentence, but that's a great idea!
What, nobody gave me props for invoking "Quantum Leap"? I laughed myself silly when I thought of getting them into the Men's room.
Thanks for the feedback
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Artemis


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/Nods/ and thumbsup on the edit smile

Michael


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LOVED IT! I love Rita and Pete, fantastic characters in this fic. Love the way 'Heroman' made his introduction! Superman sounds sooo much better, LOL.

Looking forward to reading more!


LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Glad you liked it, bellarata.
Part 6 is up tomorrow after editing.
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Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis

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