As we near the end of this story, I have to once more acknowledge the invaluable assistance of my intrepid beta readers, HappyGirl and IolantheAlias. Their input has substantially improved his chapter.
Thank you both. You are the best!
***~~~***
Chapter 25: Epiphany
***~~~***
Despite a decided lack of sleep the previous evening, Lois and Clark were actually at work slightly early on Friday morning. Of course, by now everyone in the office knew of their changed status. However, except for a slight increase in personal contact and an occasional kiss, their interactions in the office looked very much like they had even before Nightfall.
That morning, Lois and Clark spent very little time in the office. The notes that Clark had left were waiting when they came in and provided a good, quick start on the day. This meant running around the city on follow-ups all morning and that made for a productive and pleasant start to their day.
Naturally, all of their sources had opinions about Lex. Some thought he was in hiding, working on a plan to regain power. Others thought he had successfully escaped the country. A few reported rumors that he’d been caught and killed by one faction or another. When they put all the stories together, the only thing they could be sure of was that no one was certain about anything.
They stopped for lunch and ate in the park. They had been favored with another nice day and it was a pleasure being out in the sun for the second day in a row. As they ate their lunch, the conversation turned into a review of the leads they had followed all morning and the possible fate of Lex Luthor.
“He’s long gone.” Lois mumbled around her sandwich.
“Do you really think so?” Clark asked. “I’d expect him to stay near his connections and power base.”
“No. Whatever else Lex is, he’s smart. Metropolis may be his home, but he knows that he can’t stay here. I suspect that he’s left the country and is headed for somewhere in either Africa or South America.”
“Lois, as usual you’re way ahead of me. Why those places?”
“The majority of the damage from Nightfall was in the northern hemisphere and was felt most keenly by the more modern, western countries. He’s going to be too notorious everywhere on the northern half of the globe to re-establish himself. He might have been tempted to try for Australia, but there are too many western connections and the risk would be very high. I think the safest thing would be to take whatever assets he can, and I’m sure he has plenty, and set himself up like a king in some remote corner of the world.”
Clark mulled that over for a moment before responding. “That sounds logical, but he has so many ties to Metropolis that I think he’d be awfully tempted to stay.”
“Clark, I hate him, but he’s a very smart man. I’m sure he’d have liked to stay in Metropolis, but it won’t happen. I’ll admit that he might have a plan to establish himself in some western country, possibly even the United States. But even if he does stay in this country, I just can’t believe it’ll be here. There’s no way he’ll be able to overcome the extra burden he’ll carry in this city.”
“What do you mean? What extra burden?” Clark asked.
“All over the world he’ll be a wanted man for Nightfall. But here, well, this was Superman’s home,” Lois answered as if she were stating the most obvious thing in the world.
But this didn’t explain it all for Clark. “From what I’ve learned, Superman was loved all over,” Clark offered.
“But, Clark, he lived here! Here it was…personal.” Her voice caught right at the end. She stopped talking and just stared down at the ground.
Clark realized too late that this was still an especially painful subject. He set down his food and pulled her into a hug. “Honey, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. With my memories of him gone, he’s so distant. I guess that even with all that we’ve talked about I still tend to forget how important Superman was to you.”
“That’s okay, Clark. I’ll be fine. I just have to get used to the idea that I’ll…never see him again.”
At those words, Lois felt Clark stiffen just a bit. Despite everything, even being married, Lois suspected that her beloved was going to feel insecure for some time when it came to her and Superman. She pulled back enough to look in his eyes. “Clark, I count myself very lucky to have you. With all I’ve learned over the past weeks, I believe that even had Superman been here, my future was with you. I think that’s why he stayed away from me all that time. He knew that my perfect man was already right beside me. I’ve been lucky enough to finally see that.”
Clark pulled her to him and simply held her for a moment. “Lois, I… I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Clark.”
The subsequent kisses were a tender expression of two people very happy to be together and in love. The rest of their lunch was substantially delayed.
***~~~***
They returned to the office in the early afternoon. None of the leads had panned out but there was still plenty of work to do. They were holding hands as they got off the elevator. They were less than half way to their desks when Jimmy intercepted them. As he approached, he looked at their clasped hands. “It still seems weird that you two are married. I mean, it’s great, but it’ll take some getting used to.”
Clark laughed. “I think we all have some adjustments to make. For my part, I’m looking forward to making them.”
Jimmy did a double take on Clark’s face. “Hey, CK, you’re wearing your glasses again. I thought you’d switched to contacts.”
Clark touched his frames. “No. Something about my accident seemed to have fixed my vision for a while. Since my glasses didn’t seem to be doing anything, I stopped wearing them. Yesterday I started having problems with double vision so I dug out the glasses. Whatever the problem is, they fix it, so I’m back to wearing them. Lois says they look okay to her, so that’s good enough for me.”
Lois smiled briefly at her husband then turned to Jimmy. “You look like you have something for us.”
“Yeah. This is for Clark.” Jimmy offered Clark a stack of papers. “Elected officials from all around the country have been falling all over themselves to retract their criticism of Superman. This is a collection of press releases of apologies to Superman. Mostly, they’re restoring honors that had been revoked after Nightfall. A lot of the people that are local to Metropolis are claiming to have been pressured by LexCorp. Perry wants you to go through these and figure out how many stories are here and how you think they should be handled.”
Lois was frowning at Jimmy. “Is there a reason that you said that was for Clark and not both of us?” Lois asked the young office gofer.
Jimmy pointed at the papers in Clark’s hand. “The chief told me that when you two came in I was to give that to Clark and ask you to see him about something else. I’m just following orders,” Jimmy said with a don’t-shoot-the-messenger smile.
“I guess I should see what he has,” she said as she started in the direction of Perry’s office. His door was open when she arrived so she stuck her head in. It was only a second or so before he looked up. “Jimmy says you have an assignment for me,” she said.
“Yes, I do. Please come in and close the door.”
Normally Perry only closed his door to have private conversations or to chew someone out. While both had happened to her rather often, she couldn’t guess what the motivation would be today. Could he have learned something about Clark? She closed the door, sat down, and waited.
Nearly a minute dragged by and her trepidation grew as Perry seemed reluctant to bring up whatever it was. “What have you found out about Clark?” she finally asked. The words burst out before she knew what happened.
“Clark? No, Darlin’, this isn’t about Clark. I, um… I think you should write a statement in response to Luthor’s recorded message to Superman.”
“What? Chief, how can you ask me to do that! It’s not news!”
“Lois, normally I’d agree. In fact, that’s why I didn’t ask before this. But I’ve been watching the flow of news and you need to respond. I think this would be best for you. You’re right that this isn’t news, and we don’t need it to help circulation. But you were named personally in the message. Luthor made you part of the story. If you don’t write your reply then others will do it for you.”
“Perry—I won’t do this!”
“Lois, calm down. I’m not asking you to do this as your boss. I’m offering you the chance as your friend. There are already stories circulating that you were playing Lex against Superman. Some have even gone so far as to suggest that if it wasn’t for you, then Luthor wouldn’t have tried to kill him.”
She knew what Perry meant. Lois had seen some of the more sensationalist interpretations of Luthor’s speech herself. She also knew that Perry would never ask her to do this just to sell some more papers. The fact that he was pushing her to do it at all meant that he was worried about the consequences for her if she said nothing. “Perry, I appreciate what you’re saying. How bad do you think it will be if I don’t do this?”
His face took on an expression that was both sad and serious. “You know we’ll defend you, and you are respected in our industry. But most people outside of Metropolis had never heard of you until that Luthor recording went public. As of today, three people figure prominently in Nightfall and you are one corner of that triangle. I’m not any happier about it than you are, but that’s the way it is.”
“I have no idea what I’d say,” she offered defensively.
“If I were you, I’d make it personal,” Perry suggested. “I’ve read Luthor’s message. He only mentioned you to twist the knife. He killed Superman for his own reasons. I remember you saying that he was there the day Superman kissed you during the Miranda incident, so he knew there was an attraction. I’d suggest you concede that incident took place. But I would emphasize that you’ve lost your friend. Lois, I know that touchy-feely isn’t your style.” Perry looked thoughtful for a second. “Lois, have you and Clark talked about Superman?”
Lois was confused for a moment but had a feeling she knew where Perry was going. “Yes, Perry. There’s no way we could have taken the step we did without having that out in the open.”
Perry relaxed at this news. “Then you might want to think about asking him to help with this. I understand that some parts may be difficult, but he’s as good as I’ve ever seen when the story has to feel personal.”
Perry was probably right but Lois wasn’t sure she wanted to bring Clark in on *this” story. “I’d like to see what I come up with first, but you’re right. Clark’s touch could help.” Lois stood and started for the door. As she started to leave she realized that Perry really was doing her a favor. She turned to him and said, “Thanks, Perry.”
For a second Perry’s face took on a fatherly look. Then it turned gruff as he replied, “Just give me something worthy of The Daily Planet.”
***~~~***
Lois had been trying for nearly an hour to frame up some ideas about what to say. Clark had tried to talk to her earlier but she had shooed him away. She did want his help, but she wanted to write the first draft herself and let Clark help with the finishing touches. This was her problem and besides, after what happened at lunch today, she wanted the piece to have the right tone before her husband read it.
She had her basic response on her computer screen and was walking through the points one more time. There was a section about Superman investigating Luthor. Lois offered that as the true basis of the conflict between the two men. She conceded that she, like many other women, had been infatuated with Superman when he first appeared. Then she went immediately into a section describing how Superman had always kept his distance from her and everyone else. She used this as the basis of the idea that he would never allow himself to have a relationship with any woman because it would be too dangerous. Lois included a description of Miranda’s drug and the fact that Superman had kissed her in front of Lex, and how that apparently led Lex to believe that Superman was genuinely interested in her. Finally, she mentioned that she was married to her partner, Clark Kent, and the fact that Luthor thought that there was a potential relationship with anyone other than Clark simply proved how out-of-touch Luthor really was.
“I think you’re close.” The voice right over her shoulder startled her, even though it was Clark. She jumped slightly then turned and gave her husband an, ‘I’m annoyed’ glare.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
She squared up to him with as menacing a look as she could muster. “Please tell me that just because we’re married, you don’t think it’s suddenly all right to read my copy without asking.”
His responding look was apologetic and somber. “I’m sorry Lois, I… I’ll make sure to be careful about that in the future. And, for the record, no, I don’t believe that our being married gives me the right to invade your privacy or review your work in any way that you feel is inappropriate. Perry told me what you were working on and asked if I was helping with the final draft. I came by to see if I could help. I should have asked before reading your copy.”
She reached out and took his hand. “It’s okay. Just don’t make a habit of it. You know I generally ask you to proof my work when it’s ready. This one was so…personal that I wanted to get it just so before I asked for your input. Honestly, I was going to call you over pretty soon. I think it’s just about ready. What do you think?”
Clark knelt beside her and put his arm around her shoulders as he read the story again. “I think the overall content is about as good as it can get.” Clark shifted his tone to just above a whisper. “Are you sure you are okay with stretching the truth?”
Lois’s reply was also in hushed tones. “Where am I stretching the truth?”
Clark whispered back, “We both know that Superman was interested in more than friendship with you.”
“I’ve thought about this a lot. I believe he was attracted to me. But I don’t think he was ever going to let a relationship start for the very reason that I’ve outlined here. I’ve come to believe that he was going to tell me that for him no relationship was possible and that I should look…” She reached out and cupped her husband’s cheek. “…closer to home. So, if I am shading the truth, it’s not by much. And to the extent I am at all, I believe it’s for the best all around.”
Clark couldn’t resist kissing the most perfect wife he could imagine. After a brief – but not too brief – kiss-induced delay, they went back to editing Lois’s statement. They were both confident that the combination of Lois’s talent for creative truth and Clark’s omnipresent feel for conveying compassion would result in the definitive last word on the now infamous Lex Luthor message.
***~~~***
Even with the solid foundation that Lois provided, it still took longer than they expected to bring her response to Lex’s message together. It was fundamentally an op-ed piece, but Perry told Lois that he intended to run it alongside the real news of the day.
When they were finally able to leave the office and head home, they spent the early part of the evening in a thorough search of their apartment for Clark’s eye doctor information. Despite their best efforts, nothing turned up and Lois was growing somewhat exasperated. “We’ve found your financial records and lots of personal records but there just doesn’t seem to be anything here about an eye doctor.”
“I wish I could help more,” Clark said. “Do you remember me saying anything about where I got my glasses or who my eye doctor was?”
“No. You were running off all the time and I think you said at least once that there was a doctor, but you never said any names. Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen any medical records here at all.”
“You’re right. I’m beginning to think that before I lost my memory, I’d never been to a doctor in Metropolis.”
“Well, you’ve lived in the city for less than a year. I suspect you aren’t the only man that’s moved into a new city and never bothered to get a doctor. Some time in the next few weeks we need to get you to an eye doctor. Just be careful not to break your glasses.”
“I’ll be careful,” he replied. “But I don’t think that’s going to be much of a problem. I’ve found five pairs. Do you remember me breaking them all the time? There must have been a reason to have so many extra pairs.”
“No, Clark. I don’t remember you breaking them, but you never seemed to take them off. Knowing you, all those extra pairs are just an overabundance of caution on your part.”
***~~~***
Since this was only their second night as a married couple, they hadn’t been together long enough to have an established bedtime pattern yet, but it looked like the beginnings of one might be emerging. The smallness of the bathroom meant that preparations would remain one-at-a-time. As had happened last night, Clark had gone first and was waiting in bed while Lois finished in the bathroom.
In the low light of the bedroom, he wasn’t experiencing any of the double image problems that had plagued him all day. He had noticed that his double vision seemed to come and go somewhat randomly when he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Clark had removed his glasses when he got in bed. At that moment he was able to look around the room with no double image issues at all.
Suddenly there was a crash in the bathroom. The sound was startling in the otherwise quiet room and his head jerked toward the sound of the noise. Lois had dropped a water cup. Fortunately, it was plastic so there was no broken glass. She was cleaning up the water that had spilled and didn’t appear to need any help.
Hold it! How was he looking at Lois? There wasn’t any way to see into the bathroom from the bed. It was around a corner and down a short hall. In that moment of confusion, the image of Lois inside the bathroom faded and he was looking at the wall that separated the rooms. How did that happen? He concentrated again, this time consciously trying to see Lois. The image of the wall faded and was replaced with the image of his beautiful wife. Once more he cycled his vision to look at the wall again and then Lois.
Then, with an eerie sense of familiarity, he remembered the inventory of Superman’s powers. Superman could see through things. He had just seen through the wall. But he was Clark Kent, he protested to himself. He wasn’t Superman.
Or was he? After all, he’d just seen through a wall. Normal people didn’t do that. With a sinking feeling, Clark began to think harder. How could he be Superman? He was Clark Kent. That was all he remembered.
But, he’d lost most of himself. He barely remembered being Clark Kent. Now that he thought about it, something felt ‘off’ about his memories of Superman. He thought back to his Luthor memories. There had been one incident where Superman said, “If you ever need to find me, all you have to do is look up.” In his memory, the perspective was wrong. He’d been looking *down* at Luthor when those words were spoken. When he’d spoken those words….
All those conversations with Luthor … all those feelings about Lois…he was remembering them from the perspective of Superman. Clark Kent wasn’t hiding nearby or talking to Superman after the fact. Clark Kent was wearing the Superman suit.
The sound of movement from the direction of the bathroom roused him from his reverie. Lois was finished and starting his way…. He hardly thought about it as he watched her through the wall. It was easy now. One thought flashed through his mind: ‘She isn’t going to like this.’
When Lois came out of the bathroom she expected to find a relaxed and smiling husband waiting for her. Instead, Clark sat on the edge of the bed and looked as scared as she could ever remember seeing him. She went over, stood in front of him and asked, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
His reply was somber. “When you dropped your water cup you wiped up the water using the blue towel.”
She looked confused. “Was there something wrong with using that towel?”
“No, Lois, the problem is that I know you used the blue towel.”
“Clark, you’re confusing me.”
“When you dropped the cup, it startled me. I looked toward the bathroom and I…could see you through the wall.”
“What?!”
“I could see you cleaning up the water. It took a second for me to realize that I shouldn’t be able to see you. When I saw that you were okay and relaxed, it was like the wall sort of faded back in and I was looking at the wall again. Then I tried to do it on purpose. When I concentrated, the wall faded back out and I could see you again…through the wall.”
Clark watched as Lois put the pieces together. Her initial reaction was shock. She turned and stepped toward the bathroom, then turned to face Clark again. Her gaze grew just a little more intense. It took her less than a second to put the pieces together. She stepped over to where he was sitting and used her hand to press Clark’s hair down. Her eyes went wide. “My God, Clark. You’re Superman.”
Once she was past that moment of surprise, her hand dropped to her side as her face fell. She stepped back and sat down in a chair so that she was facing him. Her head dropped and she stared at the floor, apparently dumbfounded. After a few seconds she looked up at Clark. “Then who are you? Are you Clark… or Superman? Which person is the real you?” Lois paused. She looked so confused. “Who did I marry?” Lois finally asked. She sounded lost.
Clark wished he knew exactly what his wife was thinking. Was she hurt? Angry? Or was she just in shock? Clark was still too in-shock himself to gauge Lois’s reaction. After another second, Clark realized that she’d asked him a question. He stood and took one step toward her. “You married someone who loves you more than he knows how to say.” He tried to pour all his love for this amazing woman into the declaration.
She lifted her face slowly to look at him. Clark thought there might be the hint of a smile there. But he just couldn’t tell for sure. He struggled for what to do. This was all so confusing.
She’d asked who he was. He wished he knew. Clark’s mind buzzed with fragments of images all mixed together. Clark, Superman and Lois. Superman and Lois…together. That was a thought that he had shied away from before. There had seemed to be no point in dwelling on it with Superman dead. But now he concentrated on those fragments to see just what might lie below the surface. There was something there but it was just out of reach.
For a long moment, Clark racked his memories for encounters between Superman and Lois. The breakthrough came when he tried to imagine seeing Lois through Superman’s eyes. It was like finding a crack in a door and prying it open. The wave of emotion and memory that hit him was overwhelming. Clark felt dizziness and then everything went black.
Then there was Lois’s concerned voice and the comforting touch of her hand. “Clark! Are you okay?”
He opened his eyes and found her holding him. She felt very nice. “What happened?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “You were standing there and then you just collapsed. What do you remember?”
“I found the key. I remember who Superman is.”
Clark feared that she would pull away. But whatever she was thinking, she stayed right with him. “Clark…tell me what you remember.”
“The key to those memories was to imagine I was looking at you through Superman’s eyes. I never tried doing that before. Once I thought that way, it was like being hit by a tidal wave of emotion and memory. I guess I fainted.”
“Do you remember much now that you didn’t before?” she asked. Along with the curiosity, there was genuine caring in her voice.
“Lois, there’s so much that’s new. I remember being Superman. I remember who I am and who Superman is. I’d like to explain that first. I think it’s important for us.”
“Okay, Clark,” she said warily. “Go ahead.”
“I am Clark Kent. Those images of growing up in Smallville, such as they remain, are real. I found a fragment of a memory of inventing Superman. I hid my special abilities for years until I came to Metropolis. When I got here, I knew I wanted to stay. But I almost got caught using my special abilities. I remembered this phrase: ‘Superman is a change of clothes for work.’ Does that make any sense to you? Somehow I think of you as being part of that idea.”
Lois suddenly looked excited. “Yes! Right after you started at the Planet, before Superman appeared, you got all dirty one day and I told you to keep a change of clothes at work.”
“That’s right. I remember. That was it. Lois, with that sentence you invented Superman. He’s a false-front to let me help, but still have my real life as Clark Kent.” Clark paused and then continued in a more somber tone. “I remember kissing you before Nightfall. I remember…”
“What, Clark?”
“I remember what I was going to tell you when I got back.” Lois motioned with her hands for him to continue. “I was going to tell you two things. I was going to tell you that Superman was really your work partner Clark Kent. Then, if you were still speaking to me, I was going to tell you that I was in love with you.”
He paused for a moment before continuing. “Lois, please say something.”
It was clear that she was still struggling to come to grips with the new information. “I don’t know what to say. How could you pretend to be two different people to me?”
“I don’t remember all of it. I remember a lot more than I did, but there are still so many holes. I have these half-memories about wanting to… hold you and…be with you, but I couldn’t because of Clark. You weren’t interested in Clark. In those memories, it’s like I’m thinking of Clark as if he were someone else. I had some of those memories before I remembered Superman just now. I thought that they were echoes of talks that I had with Superman about you, but I can see now that I was trying to find a way to deal with your attraction to Superman. That couldn’t be. Superman wasn’t real.”
“How can you say that?” Lois pleaded. “Superman is real. In many ways he’s just as real as Clark Kent.” Lois could see he was going to protest but she cut him off by placing her hand over his mouth. “Let me finish.” He nodded and she removed her hand. “Superman isn’t special because of the powers. He’s special because of what he does with the powers. I always wondered what kind of person it would take to have those powers and use them for the good of others the way Superman did. Well, now I know. It takes someone raised in Kansas by one of the sweetest couples I’ve ever met.”
Lois got up off the floor, moved over to the bed and sat down on its edge. She waited a second for Clark, who was still sitting on the floor, to turn and face her. “Clark, why did you maintain the deception? Didn’t you realize it would hurt me?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I ever really knew. There’s this mass of confused feelings. I remember feeling jealousy toward Superman because I wanted you to look at the real me the way you looked at my false front. I always had an overwhelming desire to be with you. But I was also very confused about what to do. And I was afraid. Lois, I was so scared. I’m so sorry. I… I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m sure of that. There was just so much else in the way that was confusing everything.”
As he said the words a feeling of ‘rightness’ came over him. Since Nightfall, he’d never consciously lied to Lois about anything. Now that he remembered his earlier deception, he also remembered how wrong it had felt. Of course he couldn’t tell the world that Clark Kent was Superman. There were no pangs of doubt about keeping that secret. Deceiving Lois felt completely different. There must have been a reason for not telling her the truth. Whatever that reason had been, he was glad it was gone now.
But there were still the consequences of that deception. He may not remember the reason… In many ways he wasn’t even the person that had practiced that deception. He was the person that had to step up and accept the consequences of those actions.
Clark stood up and looked at Lois from the middle of the room. “I guess this isn’t exactly what you thought you were getting when you said you’d marry me. I… If you’d like, I can go somewhere else for a while. I can see if Perry still has that room. I know I’ve lied to you, but…please give us a chance.” Lois was staring at him but he couldn’t read her expression. After a second, he stepped toward the archway that led to the front room.
Lois’s voice burst out. “Where are you going?” The question sounded like a challenge.
“I’m not the person you thought you married. I owe you time to decide what you want.”
“Get back here!” It was a shout but there was no anger in it. Clark stopped and took a step back toward the bed. “Now sit down,” Lois said. She shook her head in a motion that suggested exasperation. “I can’t believe you. Running away must be some kind of instinct. Clark, I want you here. Do you believe that?”
He wanted to believe it so badly. But there was a sliver of doubt that terrified him. “Yes,” he answered. He tried to keep the fear out of his voice.
“Good,” Lois said confidently. “Now listen to me. Fine, you aren’t the man I thought I married. What you are, is the man I thought I married and the man I thought I’d lost. Part of me is mad at you for pretending to be two different people but I think I understand your reasons. But think what I’ve gained.” She reached out and held his face with both hands. “Clark, I love you. Nothing that we’ve learned tonight can change that. We have some challenges and our lives just got a lot more complicated, but we’re in this together. Aren’t we?”
With those words, the last of his doubts crumbled. Lois had every right to be angry. At very least he’d expected her to doubt him based on his earlier actions. She’d done neither. She really did want to be with him in spite of the mistakes he’d made before he lost his memory.
“We are,” Clark answered, now confident. “And every day I learn a little more about why I fell in love with you so quickly.”
Lois leaned in and kissed her husband. In only a second, she felt his arms around her as the kiss became a rededication of their relationship.
“God, Lois, I love you so much.”
She held him tight.
“Clark?”
“Yes, my love.”
“Let’s go to bed. There’s more to talk about than we can cover in a reasonable time tonight.” Now her expression took on a suggestive air. “Besides, this is only the second night of our marriage and I still have plans for bed tonight that don’t involve sleep.”
To Be Concluded
Bob
