Chapter 25: She Found the Boy She Likes
She found the boy she likes.
She wanted to get married,
Settle down for life.
--“Girl Next Door Went A-Walkin’”
****
When I went in to work on Monday, I was feeling glum. I had crushed the bugs Constance had planted in my apartment, so my privacy was no longer in jeopardy, but I still felt terrible about the situation with Constance. Africa had transformed her from an independent woman into someone so dependent she had to snoop to listening devices to find happiness. I wanted to help her, but my presence in her life was only hurting her. Even if she claimed I was bringing goodness into her life, I couldn’t believe her. She was just mentally disturbed, and she needed professional help.
Even Jimmy seemed sober that day.
“Jimmy, you all right?” I asked him as he passed by my desk carrying some photos.
“Huh?” He looked up and stopped. “Oh, C.K. I dunno. I took these pictures, but they just aren’t any good. I’m going to have to scrap them all.”
“Did Perry say that?”
“No. It’s just—they aren’t any good.”
“Let me see them,” I told him. There were pictures of the Key To The City ceremony and the person I had thought was going to jump from the building. I raised my eyebrow as I looked at them. Jimmy had gotten some really good shots—maybe he knew a lot more about what would make good front page pictures than he thought he did. After some debate, I managed to pick out a few of them, and I held them out to Jimmy. “These are all really good, Jimmy, but these are especially great. You should show them to Perry.” He was obviously struggling with self confidence, and I wanted to give him a push. As an office gopher, he’d dabbled in a little bit of everything. I was just beginning to realize how big of an asset he was to this paper—he could certainly do a lot greater things than fetch Perry White’s dry cleaning.
He looked at the pictures I had pulled out. “You think so, C.K.?” he asked, dubious.
“Definitely.”
“Thanks.” He gave me a small smile and headed toward the Editor-in-Chief’s office with a little bit more energy than he’d had moments before. I watched him for a moment before turning to my desk.
“Hello, handsome,” Cat purred as she walked by. There was someone who wasn’t lacking self confidence, I reflected. But as she paused to put on some lipstick, I began to reconsider. Was Cat’s outrageousness an attempt to compensate for a lack of confidence? I was considering the idea when Lois sat at her desk in a daze.
“Lois? Are you okay?” I asked, concerned. What was with Mondays?
“Huh?” She looked up. “Uh, yeah.”
I wasn’t convinced. “How about we go into the conference room to talk?” I suggested. She just wasn’t acting herself.
“Uh, okay, sure,” she mumbled.
I had to basically guide her into the room. Then, I shut the door and helped her get into a chair.
Sitting across from her, I said, “All right, Lois. What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” she echoed. “What makes you think something is wrong?”
“Well, you’re acting strange,” I pointed out, trying to glean something from her expression. “Did something happen?”
She shook her head. “Something happen? Oh, no, nothing big—just, Lex proposed to me.”
“What?” I almost stood up, I was so surprised.
“It happens every day. You know, boy meets girl, boy takes girl to cabin, boy proposes to girl with a giant diamond ring . . . . It’s perfectly normal.” She almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Her voice had a hint of hysteria in it.
I barely heard the rest of her words. My heart was shattering into pieces, each one of them bringing me far more pain than any shard of the meteor rock ever had.
I had begun to love her. Despite all my good intentions—despite telling myself I could never be in a romantic relationship—I had begun to love her. Fully. Completely. Truly. Wholly. She had wrapped my heart and soul around that demanding finger, and now she was throwing both of them into the blender, turning them into a liquid mess.
“What did you tell him?” I asked hoarsely.
She had risen to her feet and was pacing at this point. “I told him I needed some time to think. This is an important decision. I need to explore all my options before I just dive in.”
I simply nodded. I didn’t try to stop her. I didn’t try to give her a reason not to say yes. I just stood there silently, ignoring the plaintive pleas of what remained of my heart as it begged me to stop her from making such a terrible mistake. But her next words left me absolutely dumbfounded.
“What do you think I should do?”
“What?” I gasped in reply. Had she really just asked me that?
“I—you’re my best friend, Clark. I want to know what you think.”
I looked down uncomfortably as she sat across from me. “I just want you to be happy . . . and safe.” I hadn’t meant for those last two words to slip out, but they had.
“Safe?” she echoed incredulously. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I just—it’s just that I want you to be with someone who’ll be able to take care of you.” That hadn’t come out right either.
The fire of defiance remained in her eyes. “I don’t need someone to take care of me.”
“I know,” I said, offering her a wry smile as a sort of olive branch. “But you do tend to get into danger a lot.”
She opened her mouth—likely to try to deny the validity of what I had just said—but as she looked at me, her eyes softened. “I might occasionally get into danger,” she admitted. “But it comes with the territory.”
I managed a chuckle, though my heart was heavy. “I guess I just worry about you sometimes . . . . ”
She stared at me, and I met her gaze. Then she dropped her eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“What do you mean?” I asked cautiously. I wanted to reach out and take her hand, but I refrained. Touching her wouldn’t do much good for her, and it would do a whole world of bad for me. I was too on edge.
“I—I don’t—” She shook her head. “It’s nothing, Clark.” She turned her head to stare out toward the newsroom. “I’d like to contact Superman—but how do you get in touch with a superhero, anyway?” She turned with a slight smile. “How do you communicate in Kansas, farmboy? Smoke signals?”
I allowed my eyes to flutter shut for just the briefest of moments. This was the final nail in the coffin. She had to see Superman to ask him if there was hope for them. And he—I—had to tell her no.
“I have an idea,” I muttered. Then I whispered that I wished her the best of happiness and stumbled out of the room.
My fragmented heart somehow continued to beat. I had no idea how.
****
That night, feeling like a dog crawling back to the one that had just beaten him, I went to Lois’s apartment in my Superman suit. Her window was open; she was awaiting my arrival. Always a glutton for punishment, I had come inside her apartment through the window a few times to see her about one thing or another. But there was something different about this time. This time would be the last.
She greeted me warmly, “Hi, Superman.”
The child in me wanted to laugh in her face. How could she hold onto a fantasy of loving a man called “Superman”? She had never begged me to tell her my real name. She had simply accepted that name she had created. Superman was an ideal. He wasn’t a person.
And I was here now because I couldn’t ever tell Lois no . . . . But this time, I would have to. “Hi, Lois,” I returned softly.
“Would you like to come in?”
I lowered myself onto the floor, but I didn’t walk over to the couch. “I can’t stay long.” My arms were crossed, just like they almost always were when I was in the suit, but this time I felt as if I were trying to protect myself from something. What, exactly, I wasn’t sure, but the desire to flee was strong.
“Okay,” she said with a nod, staring down at her hands. “I don’t . . . I don’t know if I can marry Lex.”
I forced my expression to remain stoic. “And why is that?”
“I don’t think I love him. I think . . . I think I’m in love with someone else.” She looked up at me, but I averted my eyes from her. This conversation was making me feel worse by the second. Of course Lois was in love with Superman instead of me, the real man behind the suit. That was just how things worked in my life.
“If you don’t love Luthor, then don’t marry him,” I told her. I took in a deep breath, knowing my next words would cost me something. “But if you do love him, then marry him. You should only marry someone you love.”
I turned to the window and flew outside slowly, not wanting to give Lois a chance to say anything else. But then I paused to look at her. “Goodbye, Lois.” And then I left her standing there at the window, whispering the name of my superhero persona in confusion and, perhaps, desolation.
****
The next day, Lois was wearing a diamond ring on her left hand. I had thought there was nothing left of my heart, but I was wrong because it broke a little bit more.
Lois tried to talk to me a few times, but I was mostly quiet except for when I needed to say something concerning the story we were working on. I barely had the energy to move, much less converse. Lois’s engagement had shaken me to the core.
Around lunchtime, Lois disappeared into Perry’s office. Probably to receive his congratulations, I reflected morosely.
A few minutes later, Lex Luthor approached my desk. “Mr. Kent,” he said warmly. “Is Lois around? We’re supposed to have lunch.”
She must have called him to say yes right after I had left her apartment. And he must have been so pleased that he suggested they talk about wedding plans over lunch. That was what I suspected, anyway. If I was wrong, well, what did it matter?
“She’s talking to Perry. She should be out in a few minutes.” I paused, words catching in my throat. But I forced myself to say them. “Congratulations on your engagement.”
His smile, which was already big, simply grew larger. “Thank you. I’m a very lucky man. Lois is an amazing woman.”
I nodded. “Just make sure you take good care of her.”
“Oh, I will. I can assure you of that.”
I forced a smile and was relieved when Lois walked up to us. “Lex, you’re here.”
“Yes, I’m sorry, darling, I’m a few minutes early. But I just couldn’t wait to see you.”
She laughed, and the noise—once so precious to me—was like a stake being driven through my chest.
I gave them the most pleasant expression I could muster and told them, “Best wishes to you both. I hope you will be very happy in your life together.” And then I left them to go wait for the elevator.
As the elevator doors closed, I watched as Luthor kissed Lois’s cheek and she smiled.
****
After work, I went straight to my apartment, glad to finally escape Lois’s torturous presence. Krypto, I quickly discovered, was dirty from helping out with a fire earlier in the day. I got a wet towel and tried to scrub off the worst of the grime. I just wasn’t in the mood to give him a bath.
When I was finished, I threw the towel on the floor and sat on the couch. Jericho jumped up beside me and placed a paw on my leg. When I continued to ignore him, he started to scratch my leg. “Nyet,” I told him. He whimpered, but he stopped.
Finally, I stood. I could put the dye on him and take him on a walk, but I just wasn’t up for it. My thoughts were too jumbled. I grabbed my cordless phone and called my parents. They probably couldn’t help me, but I just had to talk to someone.
“Hello?” Dad answered.
“Hi, Dad.”
He must have heard the solemnity in my voice, as he said, “Hold on a second, Clark.” He held the receiver away from his mouth. “Martha, pick up the phone! It’s Clark.”
A few seconds later, she was on the phone. “Clark?”
I swallowed. “Hi, Mom.”
Her mother radar went off. “Clark, what’s wrong?”
“I’m sure it’ll be hitting the society section of the papers any time” I said with a sigh. “Lex Luthor proposed to Lois Lane, and she accepted.”
“Oh, honey . . . ” The pity in her voice was almost palpable.
“It’s what she wants,” I said. But I didn’t sound convincing even to myself.
“Clark, why don’t you just tell Lois how you feel?” Dad suggested.
“I can’t,” I said firmly.
“Why don’t you tell Lois your real identity?” Mom asked.
“No,” I replied, a little more forceful than I had intended. “If I were in a relationship with her, I would put her in danger both with myself and with other people.”
“But you might not get to see her as much if she marries Lex Luthor,” she pointed out.
“It’s for the best . . . ”
I cocked my head at the sound of a siren, and Krypto started barking. “I need to go. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”
“Love you,” Mom returned right before I hung up.
****
Wednesday, I got the last request I would have wanted or expected from Lois.
“Excuse me?” I asked her, not sure I had heard her right.
Patiently, she repeated herself. “Lex and I discussed it, and we would like you to be Lex’s best man.”
I hadn’t known it was possible to feel any lower. Swallowing, I said, “I, uh, I don’t know, Lois . . . . ”
“You saved his life,” she pointed out. “And you’re important to me, Clark. Lex wants to do this for me . . . . I would really like it if you accepted.”
As I stared into those soulful brown eyes, I couldn’t make myself refuse. “All right, Lois. I’ll do it.” It wasn’t like I could get much more miserable, right?
“Clark!” Perry called out. “My office!”
I nodded at Lois and then slowly made the journey to the Editor-in-Chief’s office. When I went in, Perry gestured for me to take a seat.
As I sank into a chair, he said, “I guess, uh, Lois has told you her news.”
“Yes,” I confirmed emotionlessly.
“Now, uh, things weren’t easy between Elvis and Priscilla. They met in Germany when she was fourteen, and she moved to the United States before she graduated high school to have a chance at a relationship with him . . . . Love is . . . well, it’s a bumpy road. But you’ve gotta travel on that bumpy road if you want the bluebird of happiness to land on your shoulder.”
I just stared at him expressionlessly. I was so numb I couldn’t even bring myself to react to what he was saying.
He clasped his hands. “Clark, I’ve been holding myself back, but I can’t anymore. It’s obvious you have feelings for Lois, son. Why don’t you just go after her? Throw yourself at your feet, cover her desk with flowers . . . . Take some sort of action.”
“I’m going to be Lex Luthor’s best man,” I said in a flat voice.
Perry didn’t even try to hide his surprise. “What?” He shook his head and slapped his hands on the desk. “Now, Clark, you can easily win Lois away from that business tycoon. He may have money and charisma, but that’s all he’s got. And those things won’t keep Lois happy.”
“Lois has made her decision, Chief. I’m going to support her. But thanks for your concern. I appreciate it.”
I stood and walked out of his office, wondering at my robotlike state. Did I want to torture myself? Did I want to see the woman I loved—yes, I couldn’t deny it, I loved her—marry another man?
To protect her from me, yes, I did.
****
The wedding day approached quickly. Every second brought it closer, and each one was torturous for me. I kept trying to think of excuses not to go to the wedding, but my agreement to come had made Lois so happy that I couldn’t back out. My parents called me every night, worried about me. Even my dog seemed to be giving me sympathetic glances. At the Planet, Jimmy kept looking at me as if I had grown another head, and Perry attempted more than once to broach the subject of Lois’s marriage again. But I wasn’t having any of it. Lois had made her decision, and I had made mine. When the invitation came in the mail, I opened it with admittedly shaky hands and placed it on the refrigerator, where it stared at me constantly as a reminder of what was coming.
A few days before the wedding, an older woman came to the Planet and went to Lois’s desk.
“Mother!” Lois exclaimed, not sounding very enthusiastic. “What are you doing here?”
“What—now you don’t want to speak to your own mother? My daughter’s getting married to the richest man in the city, and I have to learn about it through an invitation.”
“I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer,” Lois gritted.
Her mother crossed her arms. “Well, you should have tried again.”
Sighing, Lois said, “I left a message for you to call me.”
Wanting to give Lois a little relief, I walked over to them.
Lois looked grateful and stood. Grabbing my arm, she said, “Mother, this is Clark Kent. He’s my partner. Clark, this is Ellen Lane.”
I shook her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Yes, yes, it’s good to meet you,” Ellen Lane acknowledged, waving a hand in the air, obviously unconcerned with who I was. “Now, Lois, do you have your dress yet?”
Lois sighed. “Yes, Mother, I have my dress.”
“Of course you do. Of course you wouldn’t want to participate in a time-honored mother-daughter tradition by going shopping with me. No, not my daughter.”
“I couldn’t get in contact with you, Mother!” Lois exclaimed. She looked close to tears.
It was then that I smelled the liquor on Ellen Lane’s breath and decided enough was enough. “Mrs. Lane—”
“That’s ‘Ms. Lane,’” she corrected me. “I’m divorced. Of course Lois wouldn’t talk to her friends about her divorced alcoholic mother.”
“Lois has been under a lot of pressure,” I stated firmly. “She has been planning a wedding to a prominent member of our city. She already told you that she tried to get in touch with you—if you weren’t available, then she had no choice but to plan without you.”
Lois’s mother looked at me, apparently reevaluating her formerly dismissive opinion of me. Finally, she exhaled. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry, Lois. Call me at 5:00—I promise I’ll be home. Then maybe we can go over some wedding ideas.”
As Ellen Lane left, Lois let out a great sigh. “Thanks, Clark. She can . . . well, she isn’t exactly easy to deal with.”
“It’s no problem.” I smiled at her. I hadn’t liked how much her mother was upsetting her.
“I knew my mother would drive me crazy during this wedding planning, but I was almost relieved when I couldn’t get a hold of her. But she’s ready now, and I guess that’s just how it goes. It’ll just get worse when my father gets here.” She groaned.
I put my hand lightly on her shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Lois. This is going to be your special day—don’t let other people ruin it for you.” The words were like dirt in my mouth, but I wouldn’t take them back. I cared for Lois, and I wanted everything to go well for her. Even if it was all going so horribly wrong for me. I wondered if there was a Hallmark card for people like me—“Sorry the love of your life—who you couldn’t marry anyway because you were born with powers that could accidentally crush her into dust—is marrying a rich billionaire. Cheer up, chap.” Probably not.
I returned to my desk and began typing something with uncooperative fingers. A few minutes later, I looked up and saw Lois staring off into space. Maybe she was dreaming about her upcoming nuptials—about Luthor and his shining black limo and bottomless pocketbook.
And yet . . . the expression on her face was that of a troubled woman. But what she had to be troubled about, I had no idea—she was getting married, after all . . . .
I returned to my work with a frown and that terrible sense that something just wasn’t right.
