Chapter 34: That Magic Hour of Bliss
This could be the kiss
To unlock heaven’s door,
That magic hour of bliss
That we both waited for.
--“Tonight is so Right for Love”
****
The next day, I was continuing to contemplate the future, but I still remained undecided about whether I should be in a relationship with Lois Lane.
Lois and I worked together as usual, but I sensed we had entered a pause of sorts . . . an interval that screamed “unfinished business.” The next step belonged to me. The figurative ball was in my court.
The problem was I was no closer to a decision than I had been when I left Lois’s apartment the night before. My confidence in my ability to make good choices was close to zero considering my batting average. Choosing to expose myself to poison every day? Though born of desperation and misinformation, that had been a spectacularly stupid plan of action . . . .
And this time, there was something else at stake. This time, my decision affected Lois as well . . . . And if there was one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world, it was to keep from hurting her.
Lunchtime was approaching when a woman came storming out of Perry’s office. The Editor-in-Chief followed her, calling out, “Alice, sweetheart—”
But his wife completely ignored him, disappearing inside the elevator without a backwards glance.
When Perry saw everyone looking at him, he bellowed, “What are you all doing standing around like cows out to pasture? Is this a newspaper or a dairy farm? Get back to work!” He disappeared into his office and slammed the door.
I gave him ten minutes to cool down before I went to check on him. I hesitated at the door and decided to knock before entering.
“What?” he growled. I was suddenly glad I hadn’t just burst in.
“Uh, Chief?” I ventured tentatively as I cracked open the door. I felt a little like a mouse facing a great tiger.
Perry looked up from his desk. “Come in,” he said, his voice not as vitriolic.
I went inside and softly shut the door. “Are you okay, Chief?” Judging by his posture and depressed expression, he wasn’t, but I didn’t know what else to say.
He sighed. “It’s Alice. She dropped in on me, wanting to take me to lunch, but I just don’t have the time. She ran out on me, and I knew she was angry, but I never expected . . . ”
“Expected what?” I asked gently, fearing the answer.
“Expected her to call and say she’s leaving me.”
The pain on his face was undeniable. This had to be one of the worse things that had ever happened to Perry White. There were two loves in his life—the Planet and his wife. To have to choose one over the other had to be breaking his heart.
But even if he could accept his defeat, I wasn’t going to. “Are you going to fight for her?” I asked him seriously.
He opened his eyes and laughed bitterly. “Clark, I’ve breathed the Planet for so many years it’s like oxygen to me. I could go up and work with the suits, but that just isn’t me. No, this is it. The game’s called on account of an unweatherable storm.”
“Don’t talk like that, Chief,” I said with as much firmness as I could muster. “What if—what if you got an Assistant Editor-in-Chief of sorts? Someone whose job was specifically to help you with all your tasks—to help take some of the load off?”
He laughed. “Who in the Sam Hill would be willing to do that?”
I had an answer for him. “What about Jimmy? He wants to do more with his life. He never gets to see his father, and he sees you as . . . well, as a surrogate. I think it would be good for you both.”
Perry raised an eyebrow skeptically. “How could Jimmy help run a newspaper?”
I crossed my arms. “You started out green, too. He just needs a little guidance—I’ve already seen a hint of you in him. It won’t take him long at all to learn how to keep Ralph in line. Remember how well he handled the story about Lex Luthor’s death? He has potential, Chief. And if you had help, you could spend more time with Alice.” But Perry still didn’t look convinced, and I told him, “All Jimmy needs is a good teacher. And that’s what you are. All you need is someone teachable to take some of the load off you. That’s what Jimmy is.”
He tilted his head. “I don’t know, Clark . . . . ”
“If you can realize all your dreams, then you should. Not everyone has that kind of luxury.”
The Chief Editor sighed. “Clark—”
“Perry,” I returned stubbornly.
He looked down at his red pen. “Maybe you’re right. With an assistant, maybe I could even spend some more time with my kids—go on a vacation with them. It’s certainly been a long time since I’ve done that.”
I smiled at him. “Good. Just when you see Alice next, don’t forget to grovel.”
His laughter followed me as I left his office. I hadn’t gone more than a few feet when I paused and stared at Lois’s desk. My conversation with Perry had inspired me. If we didn’t try to keep what was most important to us in life, then what kind of life would we have? Maybe my fears were valid—and maybe they weren’t. But wasn’t love worth taking a chance for? Wasn’t Lois worth taking a chance for? Lois knew all about me, and she seemed willing to take the chance. Did I want to live a shadow of a life and ignore the desires of the one who made me feel as if I were truly living?
Sometimes, you just needed to move forward. Life was full of bumps and potholes and chasms and mountains and detours. But if you didn’t go forth prepared to face all that, then you weren’t making any progress. It would just be standing still.
My heart pounding in anticipation, I approached Lois’s desk.
The love of my life—the woman I loved with all my heart—looked up at me when I stopped in front of her. “Yes?”
Swallowing, I forced out: “Lois, would you go on a date with me tomorrow night?”
She raised her eyebrows, obviously surprised. “You mean, like a real date, where I spend an hour picking out the right dress, twenty minutes deciding on the right jewelry, and ten minutes over our appointed meeting time working on my makeup? And then where at the end I’m walked up to my door and given a gut-wrenching kiss goodnight? You mean like that kind of date?”
My mouth widened into a goofy grin as I realized my dreams could be coming true. “Yes.”
“Okay. Sure.” She went back to work as if our exchange had been nothing out of the ordinary, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth for the rest of the afternoon.
****
The next day, I was on pins and needles. What if I was making a big mistake? What if Lois went on a date with me and laughed in my face because I was a boring dinner partner? What if I had to dash off in the middle of dinner to make a Superman rescue? It had certainly happened enough at lunch time. When Perry called me into his office, it just made me even more anxious.
“Sit down, son,” he told me as I stepped inside, and I complied.
I swallowed, resisting the urge to wring my hands. “What is it?”
“I just wanted to know if you knew what you were getting into,” he told me.
“Sir?” I asked in confusion.
“I know.”
“You . . . know?”
“About your date,” he specified. “Now, I don’t want my best team torn apart by romantic problems. Are you sure you’re in for the long haul? Are you sure the bluebird of happiness will be alighting on your shoulder at last?”
I considered his questions carefully. Was I in for the long haul?
Once Lois Lane had stepped into my life, everything had changed forever. She knew better than anyone how to make my spirits rise and fall. She was the breath of fresh air after a frustrating day, the sun shining down on a frequently cloudy world, the wind beneath my invisible wings . . . . For me, she was the beginning and end of everything—my life had only truly begun when she entered into it, and it would end if she ever passed from it. The bluebird of happiness had already alighted on my shoulder—and that bluebird’s name was “Lois Lane.”
I smiled at Perry White, my heart soaring now that the load that had been weighing me down was gone. “Yes, I’m sure. I—well, I love her.”
Perry gave a bark of laughter. “Son, about half the newsroom has known that since you knocked her off her feet the first day you came here.”
“What?” I asked, embarrassed.
“It hasn’t been a secret that you two have been mooning after each other.” He shook his head in amusement.
“M-mooning?”
“But the point is . . . you need to be completely sure.” His expression became stern. “Lois is like a daughter to me, and I want to know you’ll treat her right. Now, think about this long and hard, son.” He pointed his finger at me. “Are you sure you won’t break her heart? Have you, uh—have you told her everything about yourself that she needs to know?”
That was perhaps as close to admitting my secret as Perry had come. “Yes, Perry,” I told him, swallowing. “She knows everything about me that she needs to.”
“Super,” he proclaimed, and I flushed. If I’d had even the tiniest sliver of a doubt before about whether he really knew my secret, it had to be gone now. The Elvis-loving Tennessean did not pepper his conversation with the word “super.”
When I left the office, I ran into Jimmy, who was looking happier than I had seen him in a long time. “C.K.!” he exclaimed. “You’ll never believe this. The Chief asked me to be his assistant editor—and I’m going to get a raise like you wouldn’t believe!”
I grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s great, Jimmy. I’m glad to hear you’re moving up in the world. You deserve it.”
“Thanks, C.K.,” he replied happily. “And by the way—congrats on your date with Lois. You deserve it.”
I grinned to myself as I watched him bound off. The day was going splendidly, and it had barely begun.
****
That night, I stood outside Lois’s nervously, staring down at my watch.
I had two minutes to stand there and get my bearings. I did a final catalog of my outfit—charcoal suit, freshly pressed white shirt, shining shoes, spot-free glasses, pocket handkerchief, and one of the ties she had given me for Christmas—and then inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the freshly bought bouquet of roses (real ones this time) as if it were my lifeline. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous—I saw Lois every day. But there was something different about tonight. Something scary and final and . . . exhilarating.
I had been holding myself back for so long that it felt wonderful to let myself fall. Lois Lane had caught my heart without even trying. I had been falling ever since I had knocked her to the ground on our first meeting. Little had I known how much my life was going to change in just a short time.
Once, I had avoided human contact and forced myself to hover on the outside. Lois had pulled me in without trying and made me feel like I belonged. I was indebted to her, and I loved her with every fiber of my being. I loved how she would get upset when the store was out of Double Fudge Crunch bars, how she would argue with a ten-year-old who cut in line, how she believed the injustices of the world could be addressed one criminal at a time . . . . She was everything to me—my savior, my colleague, my friend . . . .
And soon—soon she might become even more than that. But we would take it one step at a time. And the first step would be me taking her on a date to a small Italian place where I had made a reservation. And to do that, I would have to knock on her door.
Taking in one last deep breath, I lifted my hand and rapped on the wood.
She unlocked the door but didn’t open it. “Come in!” she called out.
Opening the door warily, I looked inside. She had gone back to her bedroom or bathroom, so I just stepped in. I smiled to myself. She had warned me she would spend “ten minutes over our appointed meeting time” doing her makeup. Unfortunately, it just gave me more time to be nervous.
I walked around Lois’s apartment, finally ending up in front of the fish tank. As I stared into the blue water, fish passing by my vision, I reflected once more on how happy I was to finally be in this position. My stubbornness had held me back—but now I was seeing how so much of that pain hadn’t been necessary. I was ready to move on. Like the pigeon resting at my apartment, Lois had been helping me heal my past injuries. She was the reason I was flying again. There was something sobering yet exciting about that thought.
“You ready?” Lois asked from behind me.
The corners of my mouth lifted. “Yes, I am.” Then I turned around. My breath caught in my throat.
She was wearing a simple but elegant black dress with thin straps. Three strands of pearls were wrapped around her neck, and pearl drop earrings dangled below her ears. She was absolutely stunning.
“You look . . . wonderful,” I managed.
Lois smiled at me. “Careful—your farmboy compliments might make me blush.”
I stood there staring at her for a few seconds before she ventured, “Those for me?”
“Huh?” I looked down at the bouquet I was holding. “Oh! Yes. Here.” Abashed, I handed her the roses.
She took them and put them in a vase after filling it with water. “Thank you, Clark. They’re beautiful.”
As she walked back to me, I stepped forward and took both her hands in mine. With careful deliberation—surprised at my daring—I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “No, you’re beautiful, Lois,” I whispered in her ear. I sensed more than saw her shiver, and I took a few steps back, though I still held on to one of her hands. “Let’s go.”
The feel of her fingers seemed to make mine tingle, and I refused to release her hand until we were at the restaurant and had been led to our table.
As I pulled out Lois’s chair for her, she commented, “I was beginning to think you would never let go.”
“I almost didn’t,” I admitted with a smile, sitting down. “I think I’m beginning to get addicted to Lois Lane.”
She laughed. “Better me than drugs or alcohol.”
“Why would I need those when just being with you gets me high?” I made a motion with my hand on the table to try to encourage her to lace her fingers with mine.
As she did so, she rolled her eyes. “Enough, Kent. You’re getting too sappy.”
“Clark,” I said softly. “Remember?”
“How could I forget when you’re constantly reminding me?” she returned in good humor.
I just smiled and stared back at her.
Blushing, she ducked her head, her eyes falling on her purse. “Oh, I almost forgot—I have something for you.” She began digging around in her purse. “Close your eyes.”
I grinned, still watching her. I could have done that all night and been content.
When she looked up, she tilted her head. “I thought I told you to close your eyes,” she reprimanded me.
Chuckling, I murmured, “Fine,” and I shut my eyes. Then she told me to hold out my hands, and I did so. And then I heard a tiny jingle and felt the cool sensation of metal against my palms.
Opening my eyes, I saw a locket there. But this one wasn’t white—it was silver. I rubbed a thumb over the locket, a great gladness coming over me. I didn’t know what the contents of this locket were . . . but I did know that whatever was inside couldn’t hurt me.
“Open it,” Lois said softly, and I obeyed her.
I opened the locket and smiled. Lois had removed the picture of my grandmother from the necklace she’d taken from me and placed it inside on the left side of this new locket. And on the right side, she had placed a picture of her own smiling face.
After gazing downward with great love at those two pictures, I closed the locket and pressed it against my heart, meeting Lois’s eyes with mine. “Thank you,” I whispered. That which had been a symbol of pain and destruction had become a symbol of love and hope, uniting the past with the present and pointing toward the future. “It’s wonderful.”
As I stared at her, I reflected to myself that she was as beautiful as an angel . . . .
But then I corrected myself mentally. She wasn’t as beautiful as an angel. She was an angel.
****
Our date went perfectly. Superman didn’t have to make an appearance, and we were both delighted when I coaxed a skilled violinist over to our table to serenade us. Dessert was, as my dinner companion proclaimed it, “divine,” and Lois and I talked and laughed as if we had been friends for years. I was so glad to have traded exposure to meteor rock for exposure to Lois Lane. The one drowned me in despair—the other lifted me into orbit. Lois had become everything to me.
After we were done with dinner, I took Lois to her apartment, my head soaring up in the clouds. The sheer joy of being with her and knowing that it could be like this forever was enough to make all my burdens feel light as a feather.
Lois and I stood in front of her door with a strange sense of expectancy. I lifted my hand and caressed her cheek. My throat felt like it was choking up, but I had to speak nonetheless. The words I said next were difficult to get out, but that didn’t diminish how important they were to me. “Lois . . . I love you so much.”
If my head had been up in the clouds before, it was about to rise up to the moon, as Lois whispered something I had been longing to hear: “I love you, too, Clark.”
Though small, her words were everything I had dreamed of. But I had one final question, one uncertainty that I needed to clear up.
“Clark?” I asked, almost fearing the answer, “or Superman?”
Her initial reaction was surprise mixed with confusion, but that quickly morphed into slight embarrassment. “Clark,” she answered me firmly. “Superman . . . he was . . . well, I admit that I was taken in by his powers and his goodness, but then I realized that what I really wanted in a man . . . were qualities you had.”
I remembered being in her room after her aborted wedding. And I remembered the joy I had felt at her escaping a marriage with Luthor—and the pain I had felt on being convinced that she loved Superman. Dumbfounded as I put the pieces together, I asked, “You meant me?” I shook my head in disbelief. “When you said you were in love with someone else, you meant Clark?”
She nodded, her brow furrowed slightly. “Of course. Who else?”
I stared at her in shock. She had loved me for that long? How I could I have been so blind? “I thought you meant Superman,” I admitted, wanting to kick myself.
She grinned, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it. “Well, I suppose I can love him, too—things being what they are.”
My heart was soaring out past the moon now—it was dancing among the stars.
“When did you realize you felt this way?” I murmured, barely able to speak.
“I began to realize my feelings for you around the time Lex proposed,” she said, coloring a little. “When I first met you, you knocked me off my feet literally.” She gave a small nervous laugh, averting her eyes from me, but I lifted her chin to get her to look at me. With a smile, she continued, “My feelings for you were intense from the beginning—I felt like you needed me. It had been so long since anyone had, and it felt good. But when I realized how much I needed you, it terrified me. Somehow, I knew you were hiding something from me, though I didn’t know what it was. But despite that, I felt so strongly for you . . . . Yet your former phobia of touch worried me almost as much as the strength of my feelings. I wasn’t sure if you wanted a relationship with me, and I didn’t want to ever feel pain like that Claude had caused me ever again. Surely, you could see how awkward I was around you . . . . ”
I looked down at my feet, a bit abashed, and I mumbled, “I was just trying to keep you from noticing how awkward I felt around you.” I finally brought my eyes back up to meet hers.
She gave me a crooked smile. “Well . . . Lex offered a safe choice for me, so I took it. With him, I would be following my head rather than my heart. He wouldn’t be able to hurt me the way a rejection from you would have. But when I walked down the aisle to marry him, I realized I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t marry him because I was utterly in love with you.”
“You called off your wedding for me?” I asked in amazement as another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Luthor had actually been right when he blamed me for his having been left at the altar? “Because you loved me?”
Lois’s mouth quirked upward in a grin. “Don’t sound so surprised. You are occasionally lovable . . . . ”
“Just occasionally?” I returned in a murmur. But I quickly sobered, thinking of the needlessly torturous journey I had been on. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a doofus,” I mumbled. I really had made everything so much harder than necessary. But we had at last ended up like this—despite all my fumbling and all my mistakes, it seemed things were just as Constance had said: some things were meant to be. My joy in that fact was beyond articulation.
Lois, oblivious to my thoughts, chuckled. “I love you because you’re a doofus.”
Though I smiled back at her, I felt an intense seriousness descend upon me. “Do you think this—this thing between us will last forever?” I asked her, rubbing my thumb across her cheek. I almost feared her reply—wondered if I would be scaring her away.
But when she answered, I knew it was with all of her heart: “Yes.”
I threw a thousand thanks up to God and asked her in a tone much less serious, “Does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”
She laughed. “Only if you’ll be my boyfriend.”
“Do you mind that I have a dog?” I asked with a grin.
“Just kiss me, Clark.”
I laughed at the hint of a command in her voice. “I’ll gladly do that, my lady.”
And then I did.
As I relished the feel of her lips pressed to mine, of my hands resting on her waist, of her arms wrapped around my neck, I realized that I had finally stepped out of the shadows and into the sunlight. No longer did I feel inconsequential and desire incorporeal anonymity. I was finally willing to accept what I had been given and acknowledge that my life was centered on something: Lois Lane. In just a short time, she had become my sun . . . my light . . . . And with her in my life, there could be no shadows.
But that was just fine—because I no longer needed to hide.
