|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Feedback here. We're getting there!  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
Oohh, interesting - wonder what happend next, especially with nightfall? And will Clark have amnesia when he (almost) destroys it?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,067 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,067 Likes: 31 |
Aww, fun part. LnC certainly are cute together  “Ah, the sayings of Clark Kent. I’ll start writing them down.” The thought suddenly gripped her that she might be writing them for his memorial if he wasn’t successful deflecting Nightfall and a very somber expression came over her face. I don't know. Setting up a memorial service when the world is going to end 3 days later. Rita heard a muffled moan. She looked over to the fireplace and saw Clark poke his head up over the back of the sofa that blocked her view of the fireplace itself. Oops? “Well, if he didn’t, he does now,” she voiced the thought under her breath. I don't know. It's quite possible Lois just lost her contacts and now they're looking for it. Maybe it got tangled inside Clark's shirt, so he took it off to better look for it.  Rita sat back and shook her head, “Wow,you two have been busy little beavers!” *chokes* Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Thanks for reading, y'all. DW Nightfall is going to happen and Clark's going to deal with it. But there are surprises afoot and it won't be the same as the episode. sarahgI'm glad you are enjoying the story. DM I don't know. Setting up a memorial service when the world is going to end 3 days later. Well, this is supposedly the more realistic version, where only the east coast of the US will get obliterated. Actually, Lois is thinking of Clark's demise in the process of saving Earth. I don't know. It's quite possible Lois just lost her contacts and now they're looking for it. Maybe it got tangled inside Clark's shirt, so he took it off to better look for it.  And I bet in the process she found some treasure! Thanks for the feedback! 
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Another good part, Artemis! I somehow missed that you posted it. Nice meeting between Lois and Rita. the way Rita stumbled onto Lois and Clark's nightly activities was  . But it was sweet, too. “Lois, meet my sister Rita. She makes the Superman suits.”
“She does? Oh, that’s a marvelously complex suit!” Lois enthused, then suddenly realized that she was implying she knew all its inner workings and blushed again. Well, she did know, sort of, but Rita didn’t need to know that.  I like the fact that Clark's spaceship responded to Lois. Oh, and speaking about the spaceship, this was so sweet: “Babies sleep in bassinettes and yours flew through space, so that equals ‘spaceinette’. See, I’m a wordsmith, too.” Yes, you are a wordsmith, Lois (and Artemis)!  I like the way Clark hid his spaceship, underneath a very heavy metal cover and then on the floor below with no stairs to walk down on. Good thinking. And now Nightfall approaches, and I'm not sure I'm looking forward to it. But I want to see more of this story. Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Ann Thanks so much for the detailed feedback. It's nice knowing which of my little turns of phrase work. Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,067 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,067 Likes: 31 |
Um, I checked the rewritten portion, but didn't notice any differences Did notice, however, the MIA part 11 Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Great eye, Michael. There are differences, but they are minor and fit more smoothly with Chapter 10.5 which is now in the nfic section. Go enjoy! Part 11 coming up, depending on RL.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
