|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
|
OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Preview of 22 ... Clark took a gargantuan breath and summoned every ounce of strength from his devastated body. He burst through the internal wall, crouched low, and swept Mayson into his arms. She was heavier than he had expected. He heard the key turn in the lock of the door. "Hold on to me," he muttered.
He tucked her knees into her chest and bent over her in protection. Then he charged the outer wall, leading with his shoulder. Once through, he flexed his knees and leapt upward into the early evening Metropolis sky.
"You can stretch out now," he said to Mayson.
Her legs slowly unfolded from her chest, and she looked up at him with eyes glinting with fear ... or perhaps anger.
Clark reached behind her head and loosened the gag from her mouth. "Are you all right?" he asked.
"Where are you taking me?"
Clark stifled his sigh. He knew that tone. Mayson wasn't happy. "Where do you want to go?" he asked.
"Back to EPRAD, of course," she spat. "I need to get the story."
Clark ignored her demand. "I can take you to the hospital. You need to get checked by a doctor."
"Take me back to EPRAD," she said.
"It's too dangerous," Clark said. "Trask stops at nothing."
"Dangerous?" she scoffed. "Nothing's too dangerous for you." Thanks  Corrina.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Why does everyone always write Clark as a total idiot and fool.
Why do all writers assume everyone is stupid enough to give hostage takers what they ask for?
Until Clark showed himself Trask couldn't do anything. Why couldn't Clark find a nice disaster somewhere to fix leaving Trask looking like a fool?
Or have a Press conference from Paris or London expressing his full trust in the Metropolis Police Department and the FBI.
Or if you feel he had to show himself why not have Clark burn up the remote and whisk Trask away. Drop him off somewhere and return to deal with the rest of Trask's gang?
To me it seems the entire point of this incident is to have Clark stuck in the USA without his powers and miss his date with Lois.
Framework4
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Oh, wow. That was a great chapter! Poor Clark knows he has to go help. Trask is a total and dangerous wacko, as usual. I have no doubt Trask would start killing people the moment he felt like it.
Can't wait for the next chapter. Clark had never experienced Kryptonite before, right?
Keep it coming!
regards
Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
What can I say? I loved, loved, loved this part until everything started going south, or north, to Metropolis.
At least he could have told her. When Lois felt his shoulder and asked him about it, he could have told her. Then at least she would have known where he was.
Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Corrina, Corrina, Corrina... Sometimes I swear that you are trying to drive me crazy. I had this nice long reply typed up but just before I posted it I saw Ann's comments above. They perfectly reflect my response so I'll simply point to her comments for my reaction. However, this part I have to leave in...  “Clark, you dope. This was why you SWORE you were going to tell Lois your secret back in Part 15!” Bob
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
"This weekend - no matter what happens - I will not be going out with any other women. I won't flirt with them in bars; I won't allow them to think for a moment that I'm remotely interested in anything beyond being polite."
Lois brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. "Thank you," she said.
"I wouldn't, anyway," Clark said. "But I want you to *know* I wouldn't." He wanted her to trust her that he loved her. But he wouldn't trust her enough to tell her who he is. I don't like it.  Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,483
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,483 |
I agree with Framework - Why is Clark so often shown as being utterly stupid? (Granted, I've done it myself but still...) Barging into a hostage situation when he knows Trask is utterly unstable and the SWAT team is somewhere close? Where's a kryptonite 2x4 when you need one to knock some sense into him?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 943
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 943 |
How long has Clark been in Melbourne now? A couple of weeks? Yes, he and Lois are feeling a deep attraction to each other, and things are progressing in a positive direction, but I don't see a lot of possibilities prior to this for Clark to have told her. When they were just colleagues, no matter what Clark's feelings were, it would be an awfully big secret to share. If he had in fact been able to fly to Melbourne to see Lois, presumably he would have told her then, which would have made it considerably earlier in their relationship than canon.
Rotten timing and rotten luck, as usual. And it all contributes to some great suspense, Corrina. Looking forward to seeing what happens next.
Kathy
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 338
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 338 |
Great stuff Corrina! And I totally agree with what Kathy said. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Why does everyone always write Clark as a total idiot and fool? Because this version of Clark doesn't have Lois Lane in his life (at least, not until now.) This Clark has never had to be sneaky, never had anything he couldn't get or do by bulling in there with super-strength and super-speed. He's never had to pick locks, or come up with cover stories (other than the usual Big Secret, and we know Clark makes very lame excuses.) Lois is much better at thinking outside the box. Once Lois finds out everything and starts being his partner, I'm guessing that Clark will become a lot smarter.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
Actually Clark was 'observing' the situation until Trask knocked-out Dan, then the hero comes to for and he bursts in to save the day. Trask's threat with the poison gas is what causes Superman to hesitate and wait for 'the right moment'.
It's clear that this Superman has never encountered kryptonite before because in his mind the only control Trask has over him is his threats to the hostages.
The unfortunate downside is the possibility that this will cause Clark to miss his date with Lois and thus cause all sorts of annoying angst.
I'm hoping that since Clark left Gazza and Banjo at the airport, that it won't look like Clark is ditching Lois, but instead will be read as 'Clark' is missing and no one knows what happened to him.
Perhaps Lois will be concerned for him and his safety rather than think that he walked out on her.
Time will tell. (But not too much time...right?)
Tank (who thinks from the preview that Superman should just leave Mayson along the side of the road and head back to Australia)
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
I really, really loved the part until Clark had to go to Metropolis I guess he will miss his date with Lois and that it will cause all sorts of angst - but maybe he can still make it back in time for Tuesday????? Can we get part 23 very soon? Like tomorrow (Wednesday) sometime? Pretty please? P.S. I really don't want Clark to miss his date! Oh, and the Metroplis part with Trask and stuff was evil, so all I can say is
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411 |
No, no, no!!! This was really mean! You can't possibly tell us he's going to miss his date with Lois... Have him come clean!!!!  Now, a little more seriously (not that I didn't mean all of the above) I simply loved the interaction between the two, but this one bit I think is my favorite in the whole fic so far: Lois took her hand from her jacket pocket and examined it. "I forgot to bring my gloves," she said. "So this hand might get cold." She held it towards him with a little smile of invitation. More soon!!  Please!!! 
Cris
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Since a picture says more than a 1000 words... (and it's late...) ![[Linked Image]](http://www.boston.com/sports/columnists/pierce/800px-simpsons_angry_mob.png) There's so many things Clark could have done. Like visited Lois first. Uses heat-vision to remove the terrorists from the surface of the Earth. Used superspeed to get the switch. Anything to prevent Lois from having to worry  And from keeping us poor readers from going in crazy circles while waiting for 22, 23, 24, ... You get the picture. Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Michael said: Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
I agree. Clark is a bit of a blockhead here.
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
|
|
OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Framework Why does everyone always write Clark as a total idiot and fool.
Why do all writers assume everyone is stupid enough to give hostage takers what they ask for? If we all do it, perhaps it's close to RL/canon. Until Clark showed himself Trask couldn't do anything. You mean other than doing what he'd threatened to do - kill the hostages? Or have a Press conference from Paris or London expressing his full trust in the Metropolis Police Department and the FBI. I thought about answering this by writing a scene where Clark, from the comfortable distance of London, has his press conference expressing his full trust in the MPD. Of course, the scene sort of comes to a nasty end when he's informed that they tried to negotiate with Trask, who responded by killing Perry and Jimmy. They then barged in and ten others were killed in the crossfire. And that takes the fic in a whole new direction. Artemis Trask is a total and dangerous wacko, as usual. I'm glad that came through. (It gets worse!) Clark had never experienced Kryptonite before, right? From part 12 ... "Dad," Clark said, restraining his chuckle. "They can say this stuff, but they can't actually hurt me. Not physically." And, he added silently, there is only one other person whose opinion really matters, and miraculously, she had already made up her mind that Superman isn't someone to be feared.
"What if they've discovered more of the green rock?"
Clark felt the little outbreak of apprehension that always accompanied the memory of the only physical pain he had ever experienced. "You wrapped the green rock in lead, and I tossed it far into space," he reminded them. "Trask is a government agent, but that doesn't mean he can retrieve little green pebbles from the vastness of space."
His attempted joke fell flat. Clearly, his parents were worried. "What if there's more of it?" Jonathan persisted.
"More?" Clark said, his throat tightening despite his belief that there was virtually no chance that Trask could have found more of the green rock.
Martha stood abruptly, and from the shelf, she took a copy of the Daily Planet. Clark recognised it as the same edition that Lois had given him. The picture on the front was truly appalling. His mom smacked the paper on the table, opened it, and pointed at a column. "A quote from Trask," she said bleakly. "'Government scientists have discovered the weakness in this alien race. Despite seeming to be invulnerable, the secret to their strength has been uncovered, and we are confident that when they attack us, we will be ready for them with the means to overpower them. This is a war we can win if we remain vigilant and refuse to be blinded by Superman's meaningless benevolent acts of charity.'" She looked up to Clark, her eyes filled with a compelling mix of fear and fury.
"Mom," Clark said. "That doesn't mean they have the green rock."
"It means they might have it," Jonathan countered.
Clark thought for a moment. "That would mean there was more to find," he conceded. "And we didn't get all of it."
"Exactly," Martha snapped. "From where we found it, and from the effect it had on you, we concluded it had come in the trail of your spaceship. Your father and I searched the whole area and gathered up all we could find, but we have no way of knowing if we got all of it."
"And," Jonathan added, "We had no way to test it, and we certainly didn't want to show it to anyone else. Science is so advanced these days, there is every possibility they could discover that the green rock is alien in origin."
"And then," Martha said as she absently poured the tea. "It's only a small leap to assume it is somehow related to Superman." I hope that helps make it clearer! Thanks for your comments, Artemis. Ann He could have told her - but he didn't. I'm glad you liked the earlier part. Thanks. Bob No, I'm not trying to drive you crazy  !! I will say this ... this situation will be quickly resolved. Dandello Barging into a hostage situation when he knows Trask is utterly unstable and the SWAT team is somewhere close? Having the SWAT team there does not guarantee there will be no casualties. And yes, Trask is utterly unstable - all the more reason for Clark to go ... rather than leaving Perry et al to the mercies of a madman. Kathy Thanks for your comments. I think that sometimes the enormity of Clark's secret gets lost in the cry to 'just tell her'. Alisha's 'From the Ruins' is one fic where she boldly explores some of the possible negatives. Thanks Elizabeth. Clark is cautious by nature - he hasn't told *anyone* - both in canon and in this fic. Iolanthe That is certainly part of it. The other part is that I just can't see Clark running away when his friends are in danger. Thanks. Sarah I'll fix it. Quickly. Tank Actually Clark was 'observing' the situation until Trask knocked-out Dan, then the hero comes to for and he bursts in to save the day. Exactly ... and I deliberately had Clark being more hesitant than usual because this is all new to him. The fact that Dan stood up for Mayson before Clark did - I nearly took that out - except I was trying to show Clark's uncertainty. Clark has encountered K before (see above), but he genuinely believed Trask couldn't have any of it. who thinks from the preview that Superman should just leave Mayson along the side of the road and head back to Australia OK. BTW - did you know that 'tank' is a football term? It means deliberately playing poorly (and losing games) in order to qualify for early draft picks. eg. Richmond are tanking. DW Can we get part 23 very soon? Like tomorrow (Wednesday) sometime? Pretty please? I have 90 mins before my son gets home from school. I'll read it again, and if it's OK, I'll post. Cristina Re the line you quoted. I wasn't sure about it, but it got a positive response from my BRs, so I left it in. You've confirmed their assessment. Thanks. Michael Are they all chasing me? And if they are, should I run away? (And not post the next part!!!) Thanks, Corrina. ETA - Laura I can't see Clark just leaving Perry and the others to the mercies of Trask. Trask is demanding Superman comes or he will kill the hostages. Stupid or not, if Clark had ignored the situation, I think that would have been totally out of character.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Thanks, Corrina. I couldn't remember. That's why I'm now rereading the whole thing while I wait impatiently for the next part.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Hi Corrina! Regarding the friendly villagers: Don't worry, they're just here to invite you to a barbie and maybe ask for another hand-out. Michael 
|
|
|
|
