All morning at the Planet Lois covertly watched her partner. She would watch him thinking of him as Clark, as her handsome, sweet, slightly naive partner... and then think of him as the man floating last night whispering to the dark that he loved her. She laughed a little at herself, thinking how when they met she thought she understood him completely. How she had missed the mark. A small-town hack, with ideal dreams to conquer the big city, she had thought. In a way, though, he'd done just that. As Superman. Yet, from her talks with Superman and what she knew of Clark, she knew that he didn't want all the fame and glory that came with being Superman. He hadn't even given himself that name, she had. He was the most humble, giving, generous person she knew. And he was also the strongest man on the planet. It made her catch her breath a little. <<Can all that really be in one amazing person?>>
And he could be funny and loose, too. As Clark only, she noted. She wondered if he ever felt confined by Superman. He had taken easily to acting as two people, but couldn't that drive a person a little nuts once in a while? Maybe that's why he protected so covetously his identity as Clark. Clark allowed him to cut loose, relax and eat Chinese on the sofa with her. She could never imagine herself doing those things with Superman. Yet, he was Superman as well. And had all those powers---<<Hey, wait a minute,>> she suddenly thought. <<I wonder if he ever uses his powers to to scoop me on a story... There have been a few times when he had information that just seemed too good to be true.>> But she couldn't blame him. She'd do the same if she could. And besides, Clark/Superman was so moral and ethical, that if he did do anything a normal reporter couldn't, she imagined he'd do it sparingly.
<<Yet how many 'super' things do I miss on a daily basis?>> she wondered. Would he speed-read through old articles when doing research? <<I would...>> Super-hear what people are saying about him? <<Yup, I'd do that too...But would Clark? Nah..>> she decided. He was a bit of a boy scout in that regard.
But on her 'stakeout' from her desk that morning she didn't catch him doing anything *super*. It was more than annoying. He seemed to always know when she was watching him, as if he had some sort of radar. <<Well, duh, he's Superman!>> But once she got past that thought, she started to wonder if it wasn't a bit more than that. There has always been at least one moment in their work day when she'd catch him watching her. Sometimes he'd have a soft smile on his lips, and she'd have given anything to know what he was thinking. And other times, there was a sadness there, a--longing--that at first she pitied, but lately that look had hit her in the gut. It wrenched at her heart to think that he was hurting---<<over *me*?>> she'd ask herself.
And today, he was more attentive to her than usual, afraid Trevino would jump up behind a potted plant or Mr. Make-up would show up in the form of Jimmy or something... But the day passed pretty ordinarily.
There was only that one slightly *super* moment, just before lunch. Lois and Clark had planned on going to lunch together. When suddenly as they were getting ready to go, his eyes got that deer in headlights look, and his head was jerked to the side, a look that had always baffled her before.
<<Oh, now I get it,>> she thought. <<At least now I know he's not crazy.>>
"Lois---I--I can't go to lunch with you. I have to--have--a--dentist appointment, I forgot!" he got out, inspired at the last second.
Lois smiled secretly. <<Yeah, I'll bet, Superman.>>
"Um, OK. I'll be fine," she answered casually.
He took a second to give her a perplexed look. Usually Lois was a little more annoyed with his last minute appointments.
"See you later," she waved, wondering why he was waiting. Maybe someone was dangling off a building or there were kids trapped in a fire! <<Go save 'em, Superman!>> "Bye!" she tried again, resisting the urge to shoo him away.
Clark shook his head, as if trying to clear his confusion, and then dashed off. Like always.
******
Thirty minutes later, Lois had worked herself up into a frenzy.
<<Should I tell him I know? The poor guy... always making those lame excuses... We're partners and best friends. It would be easier for both of us if I just say 'Hey, Clark, remember last night? Well, um, you were floating and I know you're Superman. No more lame excuses necessary!'>>
Lois was pacing in the ladies room. The secret was wanting to burst out of her. <<How had Clark kept it for so long?>> she wondered. She stopped and looked in the mirror. <<Probably because he was scared to do anything else.>> She sighed. << I should tell him. He needs to know I know.>>
But she worried about how he'd feel about her. Would he think she was trying to cozy up to Superman? Could he accept her feelings for him as Clark? <<And what were those feelings?>> she asked herself pointedly. <<I don't know! I love being around him, laughing with him... I love our casual intimacy. Touching his shoulder, his arms around me when I need them...OK, I am attracted to him. But do the feelings go deeper? He had never even hinted at feeling anything deeper for me than friendship! But last night--->>
She felt like she was hyperventilating. It was all too much, too soon. <<I wish I didn't know, I wish I didn't know!>> she cried silently to herself. <<I need to get out of here. Go work on something else. Get out of the Planet for a while...>>
But she couldn't do that. Trevino was still out there. She was still in danger. Her apartment wasn't a refuge. The only place that was safe was with Clark. And right at that moment, it also seemed the scariest place for her to be.
***********
As soon as someone else entered the ladies room, Lois got herself straight. She would go back to her desk. It was after lunch, Clark would be back soon... <<Did Clark even get any lunch?>> she wondered.
Suddenly, she was inspired. <<Maybe if I leave hints that I know, I can ease both of us into telling each other the truth. Maybe if I let him figure out I know...we can still be friends. And I... can try and stop mooning after Superman.>>
She decided to buy him lunch. It was nearly one o'clock and he'd be back soon, she hoped. Surely crises left little time for lunch...
She went to their favorite deli and got his favorite sandwich. When she got back upstairs, he was already back at his desk.
Lois handed him the bag, an innocent smile on her lips.
"What's this?" he asked, genuinely surprised.
"Well, with a dental appointment during your lunch break, didn't think you had actual time for lunch."
"Thanks... I... didn't...no," he said, then suddenly skeptical. "Why are you being so nice, Lois?"
She was a little hurt at that. <<Am I really usually such a jerk?>> "Just cause. You were so sweet to let me stay at your place last night. Jut think of it as a thank you."
With that she went back to her desk. She could feel her heart racing. Was it too nice a gesture? <<We're partners, helping each other out. No big deal, right?>>
She dared a glance at him. He was looking at her oddly, but she couldn't make out why, which made her panic even more.
Lois plastered on a smile, "Bon apetit!"
********
Clark could hear her heart racing. <<What was that all about?>> he wondered. Maybe something *had* happened between them last night? <<No, I would've remembered...>> Or had waking up next to him had made her realize some feelings for him? He squelched that hopeful thought. <<Did she *know*??>> He suddenly thought, fighting the wave of panic. <<Lois would surely have skinned me alive this morning if she knew.>> At the very least he thought she was up to something...
**********
For the rest of the day Lois was a nervous wreck. She nearly jumped out of her skin, yelling at anyone that came near her. Clark figured she was just nervous about Trevino.
"Lois?" he came up to her, after she sent another Planet employee off shaking their head at how crazy Lois was acting today.
She had her head down on the desk. <<I can't think. I don't know what to do! I am going crazy!>>
She jumped when Clark gently touched her shoulder.
"Yeah? Oh, Clark, right," she nodded. <<Superman. My partner. What do I do??>>
"Lois? Are you okay?" he asked gently.
"Yeah--no! I don't know. I guess I'm okay. Just a little...confused."
"Confused?" he asked, surprised.
<<Oops. Wrong word.>> "Not confused. I don't know. Just... why weren't you more upset we woke up in bed together this morning?" she blurted out suddenly, not even realizing the question was there.
"Lois," he said warningly, nodding at the looks people were giving them.
She covered her mouth, and could feel herself blushing. "Um, maybe we should go to the conference room?"
He rolled his eyes. "Wish you had said that about three seconds ago," he murmured.
They went in and shut the door. Lois sighed, not looking at him.
"Are you okay?" he asked again.
"I--do you like me?" she challenged, pretty certain of the answer, but daring him to say it in broad daylight.
"Yeah, Lois. Of course I do. We're best friends, you know that," he said, having no idea where this was going.
She nodded, started pacing. "But do you *like* me? I mean... really like me?" she asked, her voice quiet and those deep eyes round with questions.
<<Where was this coming from?>> Clark wondered.
He came closer to her and sighed. He looked her in the eye and nodded. "Yeah, I do," he said softly.
She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.
"And... do you...like me?" he ventured when she didn't say anything, completely thrown by her questions.
She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I don't know!" she cried.
Suddenly sobs were coming from nowhere. She was so confused... All those nights longing for Superman... all those lovely days spent working beside Clark... and they were the same person. She should be overjoyed, but---
"Shh. What is it?" he took her in his arms, trying to soothe her.
She was trembling, trying to get a hold of herself.
"I need to tell you something---"she began.
Just then, Perry came in.
"What in Sam hill is going on in here? We have two hours to get the paper to bed, and I haven't seen word one from either of you two. Now, do we have that front page arson story ready to go or not?" he said. Then Perry stopped, noticing Lois' tears. "What's the matter, honey?" Just like that, Perry went from scary editor to comforting father figure.
Lois straightened up, setting herself some distance from Clark. "It--it's just been this whole Trevino mess. A bit of stress is all. But I'm okay now, Chief. I'll have that story ready to go within the hour."
"Hm, okay. Kent, you get back to work," Perry said, mentally assessing what might have really been going on in here.
"Yes, Chief."
Perry headed for the door, Lois a few feet behind him. But Clark stopped her.
"Lois. You were going to tell me something?" he asked.
"It can wait. Let's get this story done first, okay?"
***********
Clark wracked his brain, wondering what Lois was going to confess. He had been hopeful that at last she might admit she had some feelings for him. But that confused 'I don't know' really baffled him, and scared him. <<Had I done anything 'super' last night??>> He kept trying to make eye contact with her, but she avoiding looking at him. He was sure it had something to do with last night, but he couldn't think what. <<How had we ended up in my bed, anyhow? I don't remember waking up at all to comfort her from a dream like she said...>>
************
Later, it was time to go. Clark wanted to wait for Lois, but was also anxious to find Trevino before she could do any harm to Lois or anyone else. They had had a few leads during the day, and he planned on checking them out as soon as he could get out of there. But Lois' safety was his top priority.
"Lois, we still need to talk."
"I know. We will," she said with a bracing intake of breath.
<<Maybe I don't want to hear this,>> he suddenly thought.
"I want you to promise me you won't leave before I get back," he said.
His hovering was sweet, but it was also a bit annoying. They were at the Planet, perfectly safe! Besides, she could use the few minutes without him there to think about what she was going to say. Having him there all day, watching her, had made it difficult to concentrate.
"Promise?"
"You want it in blood?" she asked dramatically, feeling irritated.
"Okay... I just don't want to leave you here alone."
Jimmy walked by. "Ill stick around, CK. I don't mind, really."
Clark nodded, "Okay. I'll be back to pick you up, Lois."
*********
<<Need more pencils. I swear, I go through them like water, or something.>> Lois had broken half a dozen this afternoon mulling over her dilemma. At first she would be distracted by memories of Clark holding her last night... and then she thought about those few kisses he had given her since she'd known him, all under a pretense, of course, but still. They counted. The one on Trask's plane. She had initiated it, but the way he reacted had totally taken her off guard--- *snap* The one at the Lexor hotel to thwart the maid had also really thrown her. The way his body had lain over her, his lips sweet but gently insistent. *snap* And then, Superman. *snap, snap* That kiss Superman had given her when affected by the pheromone spray. *snap* And the way he's been so wonderfully supportive of her through this scary Trevino business.... *snap* Yeah, she had gone through a few pencils today. Lois made her way to the supply closet.
She was startled by a cleaning lady. "Whew, you scared me," she said relieved.
But the woman turned to her, taking off her wig. Wait, that wasn't a cleaning lady. It was Trevino! With a gun!
Trevino was going on about some business about the Consortium, but Lois couldn't focus on that. All she could think about was the gun pointing at her and Clark/Superman was out somewhere, when he should have been there, protecting her!
"...And Finn left a loose end," Barbara finished.
"Me?" asked Lois, swallowing.
Lois was afraid Trevino was going to kill her, right there. No time left to talk to Clark. No time to tell him she knew he was Superman and that she was totally confused as to who she---
Suddenly, they heard a noise coming from outside the store room. Lois used the distraction to reach for the gun. They wrestled with it, the gun went off towards the ceiling, but Lois couldn't get it from Trevino's hand.
"Help!" Lois managed to call, praying Clark would hear her.
Trevino somehow got her hands around Lois' throat. Lois fought with all her might. <<I can't let her kill me! I have to tell Clark! I have to tell him I love him!>>
Suddenly, she was free from Trevino. <<Superman??>> But no, it was Jimmy.
Lois struggled for breath, "Thanks Jimmy!"
She was so relived she thought she'd cry. <<I'm not going to die. I can tell Clark---wait, back up. Did I just admit to myself that I love Clark. *Clark*>> she clarified to herself. <<Not Superman?>> Her internal monologue confirmed, <<Yep, Clark. You said it. Don't blame me.>>
Suddenly, Superman was at the door. She looked up at him with relief, but not for the reason everyone thought. She thought she knew how she would handle this now.
"Cutting it a little close there, aren't you big fella?" she said ruefully, but with no heat.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine..." Suddenly, she remembered what Trevino said. Superman had to stop her! "... but they're going to cut down the rain forest!"
Superman nodded, and then was off.
Lois sighed, <<Yeah, I know. We'll talk later.>>
