She heard his voice first. "Fight, Lois! Don't go! You are not dying on me, you are not giving up! Breathe!"
His voice called her back from the abyss, from the darkness, from the cold. <<Clark!?>> her mind called for him, reaching for her
anchor. Suddenly she felt her lungs fill with a painful puff of air, warm compared to the still cool tissues inside of her. She coughed and then
opened her eyes.
The first thing she saw was his face. Her husband's face, a look was there between terror and hope as he saw she was finally breathing.
"I heard you... " she managed shakily. "I heard you calling."
He pulled her to him. She was trembling, but alive. "I thought I lost you," he whispered.
"They're all right? Are your parents all right?" she asked between gasps as her lungs struggled to work normally.
His heart squeezed with love for her, that her first thoughts would be for his parents. He was also relieved; she remembered. His
throat felt tight as her answered, "Yes, thanks to you. They're fine."
Martha and Jonathan came over. "We're right here, Lois," Martha said, her eyes moist watching the scene before her.
"I'm so... cold," Lois managed.
Clark looked helplessly at her, then back up at his parents.
"Get her to a hospital, son. We'll be fine," Jonathan offered, seeing Clark's lost look.
Clark nodded and gently swung her up to cradle her in his arms.
She feebly tried to wrap her arms around his neck, but didn't have the strength to hold onto him.
"Don't worry, Lois. I've got you," he said, his heart in his throat.
They took off to the skies, Clark holding her close to his chest. He gently used a bit of his heat vision on her to warm her, but he
worried it wouldn't be enough.
"Lois? Are you okay? We'll be at the hospital very shortly."
She nodded, sleep pulling at her limbs.
"So... tired, Clark," she murmured.
He gently shook her. He was pretty sure she had hypothermia, making it dangerous for her to fall asleep.
<<I caused this! I did this to her! Wasn't there any other way to save them?>>
"Lois, I need you to stay awake. Focus on my voice. Just listen to me. Stay with me, now..."
He continued talking nonsense, keeping his voice calm despite the turmoil he felt inside. He needed to keep her conscious on the
way to the hospital.
It was less than a five minute flight, but it felt like an eternity to Clark until they arrived at Metropolis Medical Center. The orderlies were used to Superman dropping off victims of crimes and accidents, so they didn't look askance at him. He wanted to follow her inside, but knew he couldn't as Superman. He didn't even know if he'd be allowed to see her as Clark later, either.
"Lois Lane... Kent," he heard her tell the nurse filling out her preliminary paperwork before they admitted her.
Clark smiled in relief. He touched her hand, "I'll send Clark to you just as soon as I can."
She smiled weakly and then turned back to the nurse who was ready with a wheelchair to take her inside. She was in good hands.
He could leave her for a moment. He had one detail of unfinished business to attend to.
**********
Clark headed off to do a little intimidation demonstration at Janecek's.
He flew in through the window, his cape swishing impressively behind him. Superman crossed his arms across his chest, and gave
Janecek his best 'don't mess with me' glare.
The man had the gall to taunt him with Tempus' diary right in his face.
"It's all written down here in this little book. Superman is Clark Kent," Janecek said arrogantly, tossing the book to land on a tiny marble stand.
Clark smirked at the perfect placement of the book on the stand. <<How convenient,>> he thought, as he used his heat vision to
set the book aflame.
<<You've proven if the world knows too much about me, people I care about can get hurt.>>
"Unfortunately for you, we live in skeptical times, where people demand proof," he said, taunting as he finished. "And you don't
have any."
Clark took off to the skies, glad to have that problem solved.
*********
He brought Lois flowers. Tulips from Holland, actually, but he didn't tell her that. He could barely say anything anyway, seeing her lie so helpless in that hospital bed. She was asleep, and he simply sat by her side, happy that he had that privilege as her husband.
Clark gently touched her hand, and she opened her eyes.
"Told you everything would be okay," she murmured.
He felt tears well up in his eyes. Would everything be okay? If villains could use those closest to him to break him like this, put those
he loved at risk, would everything ever be okay?
She reached up to touch his face, but couldn't quite make it. He took her fingers in his hand instead and reached down to kiss them.
"The doctor said you'll be able to go home in a day or so, Lois. I'll stay with you, if you want."
"I'd love for you to stay, but it's not fair to you."
"I don't mind, Lois," he said quietly, stroking her forehead.
"Okay," she smiled back.
The nurse came in with a tray. Clark helped her sit up. Lois looked at her dinner disdainfully. "I may be sick, but I'm not dying. Can't Metropolis Medical do any better than this garbage? I swear, I should write an op-ed on this..."
Clark laughed, "Well, at least you sound like you're back to your old self."
She looked at him sweetly, "Could you maybe-- get some of that Chinese food that I really like?"
He smiled, her spirit warming his heart. "Sure, I'll be back before you can say--Superman," he winked at her.
As promised, he was back in a flash and Lois couldn't be happier. "This is *so* much better. Thanks, Clark."
"I'd do anything for you, you know that," he said quietly.
"And I'd do anything for you," she said, serious a moment as she looked in his eyes. She had proven that she would indeed, and it
made him want to protect her all the more.
He was quiet as he ate, thinking. He loved Lois with all of his heart, but he was terrified of losing her, because being close to
Superman was dangerous. She was a target, and it scared him.
Lois sensed his moodiness. "What is it, Clark?"
"I nearly lost everyone I hold dear today, Lois," he began slowly. "All because someone got too close to my secret."
"But you didn't lose anyone. I'm here. Your parents are fine. Why are you upset?"
He sighed, "I'm scared that those who are close to me, will always be in danger. I'm scared that one day--I won't be able to protect you."
He looked her in the eyes, willing her to understand him.
"Clark, I'm a big girl. And I was always able to get out of scrapes before I met you. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're around, but
don't feel like you have to constantly protect me. That's---exhausting."
"Tell me about it," he said wryly. Then leaned in to try to explain his fears. "I'm delighted---over the moon happy that we're
married. Don't get me wrong, but it terrifies me, too, Lois. It scares me that I'd do anything to protect you and criminals can do anything to
you to get me to do their will."
She looked down at her Chinese food, thinking. "What are you proposing, Clark? That we keep our marriage a secret? You know, it's
not like they know I'm married to Superman," she whispered. "I'm married to my partner, Clark Kent."
"I guess you're right. As long as my identity stays protected, everything should be okay," he said, though he still sounded
unconvinced.
Lois hesitated a moment, but then told herself to just ask what was on her heart. "Clark? When *are* we going to tell people we're
married?"
She wouldn't look at him, afraid of what she might see in his eyes.
"I don't know, Lois. And it's not because I don't want the world to know about us, cause I do," he smiled, and reached to touch her
hand reassuringly. "It's just, how would we explain it without Superman? I mean, do we mention going to Vegas at all? People will ask
questions, where and when, you know? We need to have ready answers for that."
She understood, but her womanly pride was still a bit hurt. She absently looked at her hand, realizing that she didn't even have a
proper ring. Just a cheap ring the chapel gave them and she had taken it off yesterday simply because it was leaving a green imprint on her
finger. She surreptitiously looked at Clark's hand, he didn't have one on either.
She sighed. Lois wanted to feel convinced that he loved her and wanted to be with her, but she needed the stuff that went along
with it! A proper wedding ring would be nice!
"Lois, what is it?" he asked, sensing her mood.
She looked over at him. <<He'll think I'm being petty,>> she thought. "Nothing, Clark. I guess I'm just tired, that's all."
He reached to clear away the Chinese boxes and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "What am I? A child?" she asked, still smarting.
He laughed warmly. "That you are definitely not," he said, leaning in to give her a proper kiss. "Now get some sleep."
*********
After Lois fell asleep, he left the hospital for a quick flight around the city. He hoped he would be back before she noticed he was
gone, but he desperately needed to clear his head. He was terrified of the lengths Lois had been willing to go to help him. <<And would I do
any less for her?>> He knew the answer; he would do all that and more for her. So why did it bother him that Lois would risk so much for him?
<<Because she's not invulnerable. I could lose her.>>
Clark slowed his flight as he headed over Metropolis Harbor. He was lost in his thoughts, watching the iridescent waves below him,
now and then catching a glimpse of his reflection.
<<It's dangerous for her to love me. Criminals will use her against me. Can I be so selfish to want to keep her in my life even so?>>
He felt torn. In his lowest moments, he had thought of breaking it off with Lois, that it was too dangerous for her to be associated with him,
even as Clark. But he knew he could never entirely let Lois go, and it wouldn't be fair to keep her attached to him to watch over her, yet
distance himself from her emotionally. He knew he could never do that entirely either. Therefore, this relationship was an all or nothing situation.
<<So what's it going to be, Flyboy?>> he asked himself, though he heard Lois' voice.
He spun upwards, thinking about Lois. How much he loved her, and how much she loved him. Love was their true vulnerability, and
in that, they were equals.
All or nothing? That was easy.
<<All. It was always all.>>
