|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450 |
No posting schedule on this one, either. Tomatoes go here.
Laura
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699 |
No tomatoes, Laura. This is brilliant, and it's certainly logical that Rachel's problems won't dissolve instantly with her adoption by LnC.
I see a bumpy, but ultimately liberating ride for young Rachel, and for our heroes.
Looking forward to more,
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,090
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,090 |
Oh, my heart is breaking for this poor little girl! How awful to witness something so horrifying and not feel able to tell your parents about it. I love this line: “Rachel, you have two choices: you can either hold my hand, or you can hold on to the stroller.” Exactly what I'm always saying to my daughter  . You've really caught the way kids and parents interact. I also like the way you've captured the thought process going through Rachel's mind - how it really only makes sense to a kid but is still logiical by their reasoning. I'm looking forward to seeing how this unravels. Hopefully with not too much pain for little Rachel. Great Job! Lynn
You know that boy'd walk on water for you? Or he'd drown tryin'. -Perry White to Lois in Just Say Noah
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Poor Rachel 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start.  Rachel curled herself into a tight ball, being careful not to disturb the greenery around her as the horrifying events played out in front of her. She desperately wanted to call for her daddy, but knew that the attacker would probably reach her to shut her up before her calls of, "Help, Superman" could reach his ears. She bit her lip; desperately holding back tears as the person finished, dug a hole, buried the rock, covered up the disturbed spot with leaves and other debris, and left the scene of the crime. She looked at the body of a small boy, and yanked on a strand of hair. She didn't know if he was dead or alive, but something about his silent form reminded her of the way her first mommy had looked at the funeral.  She still need to talk to her parent. The silent is going to make her feel worst. "Ms. Lane, if Rachel doesn't want to come here, don't force it--we haven't been making much progress, and it's possible that we've gone as far as she'll let us with art therapy." Dr. Summers walked over to her desk and pulled out a business card. "I don't like to give up on my patients, Ms. Lane, but I can't help Rachel if she refuses to let me; and she hasn't been trying. Perhaps Dr. Jenkins can help her--he's the best child psychologist in Metropolis. I'll forward her case file to him tomorrow." 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 137
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 137 |
Laura,
Wonderful wonderful start. You've certainly caught the issues adopted children have to deal with and you've managed - with excellent taste- to once again bring in the problem of child abuse.
Nqoire (running off because her Muse just woke up)
Imagine.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi Laura, This is a very good start. It's very realistic that Rachel will take a long time to heal from the wounds inflicted on her by her stepfather, and I like how you've captured her childhood logic. What a shame that she's witnessed something so terrible, but it certainly sets up a very interesting A-plot for your readers. I look forward to seeing where you take us. Yours Jenni
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442 |
Laura, I'd looked forward to reading your next story, after I bowed out of Little Girl Lost due to subject matter. But it looks as if I'll have to sit this one out, too.  I'm sure you realized, when you bravely chose to tackle a delicate topic, that your story wouldn't be for everyone. Good luck on this fic, Laura. I look forward to your next one. Hazel
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Laura,
I ache for Rachel
please - not too much pain for her
merry
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450 |
Thank you Irene, Merri, Jenni, Lynn, Jose, Nqoire. Hazel, I'm sorry you feel that way. I forgot to say  this is for everyone who asked for "more about Rachel". Laura
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
Just wonderin'..... how's it goin'.
Oh I hope everything is going okay on the next installment.
I can hardly wait!
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,168
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,168 |
I absolutely LOVED Little Girl Lost, and a sequal is only a great treat! More soon please. I find it interesting how LGL and IL both focus on the thoughts and feelings of another person besides Lois and Clark, yet it's great that L&C are not excluded.
Plus I've questioned myself a thousand times how Lois and Clark's life would look once they had children. Interesting to see this. Though if Lois quit her job it would be sad.
Julie
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450 |
Hey ya'll.
I'm afraid that I haven't gotten past the first scene of chapter two due to the fact that I've been too busy writing research papers and stories for my writing class to write fic. I've got another original story, a ten to fifteen page research paper, and exams to get finished with before I'll probably get enough breathing space to do some writing. Sorry about the delay, but with five classes, it happens sometimes. Maybe we'll get lucky and I'll get enough time during the holiday weekend between writing my paper, writing a new original story, and finishing my felting project for my textiles class to get some writing done.
Thanks for the interest.
Laura
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 224
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 224 |
Laura, Just read this. I'm so glad we get to see more of Rachel. I really enjoyed this first part, tho I am glad you said there'd be hapy ending. Loriel
"Inappropriate attachment" didn't begin to cover the depth of the feelings Vaughn had for Sydney Bristow.
~Ties That Bind by RJ Anderson~
I ramble at http://www.livejournal.com/~loriel_eris
|
|
|
|
