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Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Lois climbed the stairs and let herself into her office. Once she'd locked the door, she stood in the darkness and looked into the brightly illuminated cell.
The prisoner was asleep on the floor. He was lying on his back - which was unusual. However, it wasn't necessarily indicative of trouble; it could be simply that he'd healed enough to allow a greater variety of sleeping positions.
She lifted the binoculars to her eyes. His chest rose and fell in steady rhythm.
Lois released a deep sigh. Her gut had gotten it wrong.
She was losing her edge.
Had lost it. Thanks  Corrina.
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Joined: May 2003
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Whoa. Seriously incredible and can't wait for more.
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I'm on the edge of my seat with this story! I too couldn't wait for Lois to get the box to see what Clark had written: 'Are my parents OK? Jonathan and Martha Kent from Smallville, Kansas.' I wanted to cry--of course he would ask about his parents! How Clark of him! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
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Boy you sure know how to write a story!!!! I love this fic soo much!! This is some seriously powerful stuff here. I feel so bad for Clark and I sure hope that Lois and Clark get a happy ending!
LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Moyne has friends in high places. Lois asks Dan about Clark's family, and the next day Moyne is telling Lois that the alien will try to manipulate her by attempting to appear human... such as by mentioning family. Hmmmm....
I am thinking Lois's gut is dead on. I have several scenarios playing through my head:
- Moyne breaks into the closet, takes a kryptonite rod, and enters the cell to attack Clark. Lois rushes in to save him.
- Or, just the opposite. Moyne follows Lois into the cell and attempts to murder her. Clark saves Lois. (I'll just bet he tried, unsuccessfully, to save those other two also. Which is more than most people in his position would do.)
- Moyne attempts to get a little too familiar with Lois up in her office. Clark, whose powers have now returned, flies through the one-way mirror, saves Lois by grabbing her out of Moyne's grasp, and carries her up through the roof as he escapes his prison. (hehe. I think I like this the best.)
- none of the above?
I still have doubts about Clark and why he doesn't talk. Is he so conditioned that he still doesn't dare, even though Lois has made it clear that she wants to communicate with him? Or is there more to his silence?
How very Clark of him to ask about his parents. When I read what he'd written, my heart just went out to him. Come on, Lois, trust your gut! (Maybe that should be added to the title. (You) Trusting Me, (Me) Trusting You, and (Me) Learning to Trust Myself Again)
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Wow I am speechless. More please!
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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What a nailbiter!  JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Blogger
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Blogger
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I too see him escaping, whether to protect Lois or not. He is rarely exposed to the rods anymore and has more sunlight exposure. His hearing is returning. I like the idea of him whsking her away to saftey. Of course then she may not be able to be there for her dad...
However I am liking the slow earning of trust, which would change dramatically if she were whisked away to saftey.
I can't wait to find out what happened to the Kents. Please let them be in some safe house somewhere safe.
Kyla
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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She tore a single piece of paper from a notepad and took a black crayon from her bag. Yes, a crayon! I was thinking about what she could give him to write with that couldn't be used as a weapon, and I came up with a crayon, too! 'Are my parents OK? Jonathan and Martha Kent from Smallville, Kansas.' Another great way to move things along ... now she has a name to research! And I had not expected this to be his question, though it makes perfect sense. Oh, Clark. Son. Daniel swallowed roughly. Son. That word brought a distressing connotation of humanity to a situation that he'd been trying to view only as a matter of national - even international - security. That made it personal. And pressing. "I'll do what I can," he said. Yes! Good! That's exactly what Daniel needs, to realize that things aren't what he's been led to believe. And he's clearly conflicted here, especially after learning that Moyne has friends in high places. C'mon, Dan, let your decency win out. "He usually begins with something close to home," Moyne said. "Family. Friends. Anything to make him seem human." Moyne is very smart and very good at being evil, I'll give him that. Clearly this is exactly why the other agents were killed, because they began communicating with Clark and realized they'd been fed lies about him. Lois sprang from the bed, checked her weapon, strapped her gun holster to her ankle, pulled on jeans and a sweater, and grabbed her bag. Five minutes later, she was speeding through the dark streets of Metropolis towards Bessolo Boulevard. Yikes! Hurry, Lois! Get there and help Clark! *please let this end with a bullet in Moyne ... please let this end with a bullet in Moyne ...* (Hey, I can hope, can't I? ) Kathy
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
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The Kents might believe their son is dead. I do hope Lois has some friends in high places herself.
Dan(you bureaucrat you) had the right idea though, the woman does need some time off.She's going to implode.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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However I am liking the slow earning of trust, which would change dramatically if she were whisked away to saftey. I have to agree. It would probably make for a dramatic rescue scene, but I have no idea where the story could go after that.  I should probably corral my fanciful ideas and just let the master create. 
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2007
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Coming into this late, but wanted to say this story is intriguing.
I find the twist in alt-universe/alt-timeline you use here quite compelling.
Not sure how you are going to be able to wrap this up so quickly and answer all the questions I have but definitely interested to see where you take this. In particular one question I still have is what was the operation performed on Clark. Will we find out?
Thanks for posting something thought provoking.
"He's my best friend, best of all best friends
Do you have a best friend too
It tickles in my tummy
He's so Yummy Yummy
Hey you should get a best friend too" - Toy Box
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Columnist
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Columnist
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I loved this long part and the only thing I want to say is  if all three agents go to the funeral and Lois is *alone* to guard to prisoner - surely her curiosity will get the better of her and she will enter the cell and attempt to have a normal conversation with the prisoner? 'Are my parents OK? Jonathan and Martha Kent from Smallville, Kansas.' Awww, that is so Clark. I was also thinking what is the first thing I would write after 7 years of being help captive and I guess would follow Lois' train of thought with the not so lady like words. But this, what the prisoner wrote, characterises Clark so well that even after more than 7 years, his first concern would be his parents (or Lois if he knew her then ) Moyne.
He was planning something.
He was planning it now.
...
Lois sprang from the bed, checked her weapon, strapped her gun holster to her ankle, pulled on jeans and a sweater, and grabbed her bag. Five minutes later, she was speeding through the dark streets of Metropolis towards Bessolo Boulevard. And from the preview: I am actually wondering if Lois will later find out that her gut feeling was right? Looking forward to part 8 and then the next story
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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Nail biter, indeed! I've been semi-lurking for a while since RL has been so much MORE lately, but had to comment on this part. I, too, love the way you are slowly revealing Clark's humanity to Lois. There's a nice juxtaposition going on with the revelation of first Trask's character and now Moyne's. I also think that Lois' gut is right on and can't wait to see how Clark and Lois escape from whatever Moyne is planning. One other scenario popped into my head - that Scardino will follow-up on the Kents and then just happens to be there to take out the trash when Moyne makes his move. I hate waiting for new parts, but can't help but keep reading unfinished stories. It's a curse. ETA: Wow! What response time. By the time I posted, part 8 appeared.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Thanks for all the lovely FDK. L Thanks! Mozartmaid Can Clark see her?? I think you said it's one of those one sided windows, but can he see her when not affected by the kryptonite rods with his x-ray vision? Just thought of this... Trask had all of the walls and that window lead-lined. Depending on the dark/light ratios on either side, Clark might be able to see shadowy figures, but he can't use the x-ray vision. Bellarase Lois and Clark get a happy ending! You want a *happy* ending?!? Vicki Don't corral your ideas, Vicki, I enjoyed them. I also liked the last one best. Your second scenario was my initial plan, but it had holes - such as why Lois would choose to go into the cell when Moyne was around. Loved your play on the title. Laura I really appreciate your comment, Laura, because I know that initially you weren't sure you would enjoy this. Thanks for persevering through the early parts. Jen I didn't leave the nailbiter hanging for too long ... although part 8 didn't bring much resolution. Kyla I'm going with the 'slow earning of trust'. Clark picking up Lois and flying away is a fascinating idea ... I'm not sure how I'd write it.  Kathy No bullet for Moyne, sorry. Glad you liked the crayon. Very early on, Iolanthe was saying, 'Give him a crayon!' SJH But if Lois has time off, that takes her away from Clark.  Lisamaree Yes, you will find out what the surgery was, but it's going to take awhile. DW The funeral ... isn't there some saying about when the cat's away, the mouse will play ... Brenda Welcome out of semi-lurking! I'm so glad you're enjoying the ride. Thanks everyone! Corrina.
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Posts: 483 Likes: 6
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 483 Likes: 6 |
Moyne and Shadbolt had been utterly prejudiced by Trask. I think Lois is wrong with that assumption at least concerning Moyne. It seems Moyne just needed a valve for his sadistic strand … It would be interesting to know how Moyne and Trask met for the first time and how Moyne became this … ‘nice’ fellow he is in this story. It is sad that Lois still thinks she can’t trust the prisoner, even after looking in his eyes and seeing nothing mean in them. I’m happy for Clark that Lois took the rods away from the three guards but especially from Moyne, well they never used them except when they were in the cell and since Lois is with them every time they go in she can give them a rod when they need one. Now he doesn’t have to experience the pain anymore, or if he still feels it then it is very little pain. Whether she got this right or wrong, she would do it on her own convictions - not on the back of second-hand hokum from the pen of a hate-filled bigot. Good be as unprejudiced as possible, Lois Yuck! Lois turned abruptly to the closet. She hauled out the four rods and marched them out of the staffroom and up the stairs to her office. She loaded them into the corner, checked that the camera was working, locked the closet, and picked up her bag. He had a choice, he could have given her the second key when she asked for it … I wonder why and when he had felt the need for a second key … Now I’m off to part 8.
Kathryn
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Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31 |
He could read.
He could write.
He was educated.
He understood the etiquette of expressing gratitude. Or maybe he just littered into the tinbox. Just saying… If this was a ploy to work her over psychologically, he was good. Darned good. Interesting thought, the possibility that every little thing could be a ploy. You know, if you hadn’t shown us Clark’s POV, too, it might have been very possible to believe that Trask is right. It was possible that they included useful information, but in getting it, she risked Trask's prejudices poisoning her judgment. He wrote powerfully and with staggering fervour. If she studied his books, it would be difficult to avoid subconsciously attributing some authority to his claims. Good choice. I guess. Also dangerous, but what is she to do? After all, she can’t just hand them off to a censor to black out all the prejudice etc in there 'Are my parents OK? Jonathan and Martha Kent from Smallville, Kansas.' "I will inform the assistants of the time of the funeral," she said. "You should expect all of them to be there." Oooh, a chance to be alone with him and build a *bridge* /hint hint/ Moyne nodded towards the cell. "Has he attempted to communicate with you yet?"
Lois felt her stomach knot. Could Moyne possibly know about the notes? "How could he communicate?"
"Notes. Hand signals towards the window."
"Why do you ask?"
"Because it's the first sign."
"The first sign of what?"
"The first sign that his killer instincts are coming out of hibernation and that he's chosen his next victim." He’s slick. And probably a sociopath. "He usually begins with something close to home," Moyne said. "Family. Friends. Anything to make him seem human." But how does he know so much. I do have to say, I can’t help but wonder how I would feel right now without Clark’s side of the story already shown. This could be a true, painstaking thriller  /off to next part’s FDK  / Michael
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Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Wow. So much lovely FDK to catch up on after a busy weekend. Thanks! Kathryn It is sad that Lois still thinks she can’t trust the prisoner, even after looking in his eyes and seeing nothing mean in them. We can see that because we know the prisoner would *never* hurt her. But Lois is probably still alive because she doesn't trust easily. And she's been told he has killed twice before. And he could be alien invader. Thanks for the comments, Kathryn! Michael Oooh, a chance to be alone with him and build a *bridge* /hint hint/ I'm not good at hints, Michael!  This could be a true, painstaking thriller It could be, except I wouldn't enjoy writing evil Clark. And if I'm not enjoying the story, it's never going to get finished - and never be posted. Thanks, Michael, Corrina.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31 |
Originally posted by Female Hawk: This could be a true, painstaking thriller No, not evil Clark. Just evil author leaving it ambiguous until the last possible moment, torturing the poor readers with their own, vivid imagination  Michael 
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