~1983~
Lois found herself in a crowded mall, being pushed and shoved as shoppers hurried to their destinations, parcels banging around every which way. It was a complete nightmare; over cheery music blared from hidden speakers, the glare of chintzy lights and commercialism screamed obnoxious holiday cheer at her. Lois felt like screaming herself, for the world to stop.
She stepped to the side, out of the way of oncoming people traffic and tried to take stock of where she was and--she gulped--*when*. She didn't think it was likely that Tempus had conveniently dumped her at home, so as she recovered from the abrupt time travel, she started looking around for clues as to her time and place.
The mall looked oddly familiar, though the clothes in the window shops seemed awfully dated. She realized that she must be was somewhere in the eighties. Bright colors, legwarmers, and teased hair abounded. She walked listlessly through the mall, wondering what she would find around the next corner.
She still felt bereft from leaving her six year old self behind, and shivered as she suddenly recalled nightmares of a man in a window trying to steal her away... Funny, that memory hadn't existed before... She just hoped that was the only ripple effect that had occurred with Tempus' tampering with her life.
Lois wandered aimlessly, feeling lost and lonely. She knew Clark had to be trying to find her, but she wondered if HG Wells was with him. She had to hope that he was, and that somehow, they'd catch up to her, and to Tempus.
She just hoped they did so before Christmas... she couldn't face Christmas Day like this, stranded in time.
Lois came to a record store and paused suddenly. It looked familiar... oh, yes! She remembered now. Lucy used to drag her here on the weekends. She had had a crush on one of the the checkout boys, a guy who was too old for her and no good, Lois remembered immediately surmising. But being her older sister, she would go with her, if for nothing else, than to keep an eye on her.
Lois suddenly got chills up her spine as she spotted her teenage self with her sister, Lucy; it was so weird to see their former selves. It was even stranger than seeing her six year old self, for this Lois was almost a woman at sixteen. Lois watched, fascinated by the play of her own younger features, mentally making comparisons to what she knew she looked like now and how she looked then.
Once the initial shock of seeing her younger face wore off, she noticed the garish Christmas outfits her and her sister were wearing. They had hideously teased hair, cheesy Christmas sweaters, and high top sneakers. Lois cringed at the fashion sense of the eighties. What had people been thinking?!
She looked around to see if that no-good crush of Lucy's was working, but she barely remembered what he looked like... Curious as to what her and her sister were up to, she walked casually towards them and picked up a George Michael album to hide behind as she came up near them to spy.
"Lucy, mom would not go for a record, come on!" said Lois, crossing her arms in frustration.
"Not for her, silly! For me!" said Lucy, making eyes at a boy working across the room.
<<Oh there he is... Yup, just as smarmy as I remember him,>> thought Lois, eying the tool sporting a Don Johnson look with a teal suit coat and black t-shirt underneath.
"Luce, it's Christmas! You might get just what you want under that tree," said Lois, barely able to conceal that she had already bought the record Lucy had her eye on. Younger Lois suddenly noticed what was distracting her sister and sighed.
"Lucy, come on, let's get out of here." Lois tried.
Lucy shook her head, making eye contact with Don Johnson again. "Not yet, he just spotted me," she whispered.
Lois groaned in frustration. "Would you give it up, Lucy? He's too old for you! Besides, we have to meet mom and dad soon and we've barely done any Christmas shopping!"
Lucy rolled her eyes. "We have enough. Besides, it will be just like it is every year... Mom will get us sweater sets and dad a gift certificate, or if we're lucky, some jewelry."
Lois tried pulling her away from the albums and away from making eyes at the no-good boy across the store. "How do you know what *I'm* getting you, then?" asked Lois, trying to get Lucy's attention by pulling the album she was holding out of her hand. "Come on. We got to go meet mom and dad."
"Fine," Lucy relented, sending another smile over her shoulder at the boy before walking off with Lois.
Lois followed her younger self and her sister out of the record store. She tried avoiding being jostled by shoppers and yet still keep up with them. Lois stopped when they did, keeping her distance a few feet away, pretending to be interested in a shop window.
She saw they had spotted their mother.
Ellen Lane would have been an elegant, beautiful woman if life hadn't dealt her some tricky cards. As it were, her eyes were a bit sunken, and her make-up a bit too bright. She plastered on a smile when she met the girls, but it never reached her eyes.
Lois struggled to choke back tears at the sight of her. She suddenly remembered what was coming.
"Let's go, girls," Ellen said stiffly.
"What about Dad?" asked Lucy, looking around.
Ellen could play the doctor's wife to a tee. She could be witty and charming at get-togethers. She could avoid the slights by her husband when he preferred to talk to his colleagues over her. She could ignore him giving up a career as a surgeon to pursue his crazy obsession with cyborgs. "They are the way of the future, Ellen. I have to be there when it happens," he'd say, and she'd smile supportively, even though she'd want to smack him. She'd lasted through dinner parties, luncheons, lonely evenings at home with the girls, always poised, always there to support what Sam thought he had to do.
But right there in the middle of that crowded mall, two days before Christmas, it happened; with carols playing in the background, bright Christmas lights, twinkling, Ellen Lane lost her resolve and burst into tears.
"What is it Mother?" said teenage Lois, touching her mom's arm.
Her mother brushed her off, struggling for composure. If her daughter touched her again she'd fall into a fall into a sad puddle and never recover. "Not now. We need to get home," she said, digging in her purse for her car keys. Then, unable to focus enough to grab hold of them, her bag fell off her arm, spilling its contents all over the waxy mall floor. Shoppers stepped over her belongings, completely avoiding the woman and her two girls struggling to pick up the contents of her purse, completely avoiding a family falling apart.
"Your father wants a divorce," Ellen whispered at last, struggling to keep her dignity. Young Lois walked her mother over to an empty bench, while Lucy collected the remaining contents of their mother's purse, including the small liquor flask that the family knew Ellen carried, but pretended she didn't.
Lois watched as surreptitiously as she could, remembering how traumatized she had felt in that moment, seeing her mother lose her cool like that, especially in public.
Ellen started talking and couldn't seem to stop. She didn't even seem to notice she was speaking to her daughters; she simply needed someone, anyone to talk to. "He said he needs more time to work on his damn cyborgs! That he and I haven't--well, we haven't gotten along very well for--I guess years now... He said he... he doesn't love me anymore," she whispered, tears streaming down her face, making her mascara run dark streaks down her cheeks.
Lucy took out a tissue from her mom's purse, handing it to Lois. Lois gently wiped the tears and then pulled her mother into her arms. "It will be okay, Mother. Lucy and I are here. Everything will be okay," she said reassuringly, though Lois could see tears forming in her own, younger eyes.
That was the worst Christmas she could ever remember. No tree would be set up that year, only a few presents would be exchanged. The holiday lost its luster entirely for her that year; there would be no heart in Christmas after that for a very long time...
Lois turned away from the scene, suddenly desperate to get away from the pain of that day and the ones that followed. Memories flooded back of her parents arguing when they finally got home and her father storming out of the house, not returning till after Christmas Day. Memories returned of those horrible days of not knowing what would happen to her and her sister, of not knowing what her mother would do. She had had to take care of both herself and her sister, as well as her mother who went on a drinking binge that seemed to last for weeks.
She felt tears streaming down her own face as she started pushing and shoving through the crowd. Unwittingly, her heart cried out for Clark, even as pain went deeper and tears streamed harder. Her soul reached out for him, fearing she may never see him again. What if she was stuck, forever reliving painful moments of her past?
<<It's not possible! It can't be possible!>> she screamed inside. She ran and ran, avoiding couples, children, smiling faces; as the only face that she could see in her mind's eye was her mother's. That brokenhearted look of despair and loneliness; the look that she had once feared would be on her face if she ever dared to love...
"No!" she cried, pushing the fear away, reaching for the love that she knew was real. She reached for Clark with all her heart, calling to him, desperately. She felt like she had those dark days when he had been on New Krypton, torn away from her side. Now she was the one in a strange land, uncertain of the rules... for how do you stop a past that is your own?
She suddenly saw a flash of light, appearing as if out of nowhere... and in a blink, she disappeared into time... again.
*-*-*-*
"Lois!" Clark called as soon as they appeared in 1983. He changed out of the Suit and headed into the nearby mall. He had *felt* her calling to him, felt her pain and loss. It broke his heart that he wasn't there. But as soon as he had entered the mall, just under superspeed, he *saw* her disappear! Tempus had opened a time window in a wall, and had grabbed Lois out into a different time and space... they had missed her once again.
Clark walked solemnly over the rest of the way to where she had disappeared, his eyes focused on the last spot he had seen her, before being ripped away once again from him. He carefully avoided passersby as he reached the spot, touching the wall she had been pulled in through by Tempus. The shoppers around hadn't even blinked! A quick flash of light had caught some people's eye, but that was all. He could have supersped in as Superman and he didn't think anyone would have noticed in all of the hustle and bustle!
But he hadn't. He had had presence of mind enough not to be Superman in the wrong time and place, but it had cost him missing Lois once again.
He sighed heavily, trying not to let despair overwhelm him.
HG Wells came up beside him, having moved slightly slower than Clark in chasing after Lois.
He put a gentle hand on Clark's shoulder, "Don't be disheartened, Clark. We're getting closer, getting better at this. We just have to move faster next time. I've already started the tracking device. She's somewhere in time in space, no 'where' exact yet. But as soon as Tempus lets her go, we'll be there."
Clark looked up at Wells, pain and heartache evident on his face, "I just want my wife back."
