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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Just a short little story that came out of nowhere and almost wrote itself, but I'd love to know what you think--never tried first person/present tense before. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
That was lovely. /happy sigh/
You've pinned down all the facets of Clark and explored them thoroughly - and in such an accurate but almost poetic way.
I love how you wove the little details that we're all familiar with into the fabric of the story.
Wonderful!
Corrina.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397 |
Oh this was amazing! It gave me chills in some parts. You managed to nail down sooo much of what makes Clark (and Lois) so fascinating to us. Thank you!!!
LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 351
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 351 |
I ditto Corrina That was lovely. /happy sigh/ ... Wonderful read 
EvelynC
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
I second Bellarese--I also got chills! The first word in every one of those sentences is probably the key. Clark looked at everything and saw me. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that so did I. Well done!! So beautifully written--and crystallizes what I think we all hope Lois saw. I like how you justify him not telling her before he froze her--that has had a lot of FOLCs upset before. But this makes so much sense: I know he would be hurt if he had told me and I had lashed out at him with shock and anger and hurt--as I probably would have done--because that's the kind of person I am. This way, I still trust him, and he doesn't have to remember any of the horrible things I probably would have shouted at him. Beautiful story!! Hope you have more up your sleeve to share!! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Joined: Sep 2004
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,302 |
Beautiful, Just beautiful. Lovely - both a rambling and yet focused musing that makes sense in that delirious twilight as Lois comes in from the cold.
carol
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186 |
Beautiful look at Lois' thoughts on Clark as their relationship progresses. I've never felt like I couldn't walk over to Clark's place, knock on the door or pick the lock, and walk right in. This made me chuckle. (emphasis mine) The first word in every one of those sentences is probably the key. Clark looked at everything and saw me. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that so did I. Spot-on introspection. Thanks for sharing.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
Wow ... that was really beautiful and I'll second Corrina too
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
Emily already quoted the two passages I was going to quote. As others have said, "awwww". This was just beautiful. Very, very nice. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Ditto what everyone else says.
It takes a talented author to write a piece of fiction with absolutely no plot and still hold the audience's attention. You did it in spades. Well done!
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1 |
Excellent way to show us how Clark changes in Lois' eyes over time. This line always bothered me in the series: I saw enough to realize chocolate was oh so much better than rocky road. That always seemed to imply that Clark was dull while Dan was so much more exciting. I never saw it that way. But you've expanded on this to explain that Clark was steady, dependable. Not boring. But he wasn't going away. Great story! Joan
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
I loved this! It was perfect!
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks to everyone who left their comments on this story. I was a bit leery about doing a story set in this period since so many others have done a great job on this scene as well, but I really enjoyed writing it. I've always loved the way Lois reacted to finding out that Superman is Clark--I was so glad she didn't get majorly angry at him. I thought she grew up a lot to be able to react the way she did. She saw a lot in Clark by this point because he showed her his 'true colors.' But I guess I don't need to say that after the story.  Thanks again for reading and commenting. I'm glad you all enjoyed!
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 156
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 156 |
This is a work of beauty and art, and I love it so much I couldn't read it just once! In fact, I'm sure I'll be re-reading it many, many times to come in the future... especially any time I go back and watch that last second-season episode. Thanks for so beautifully highlighting Lois's thoughts and growth over the many moons she came to know Clark Kent!
Love and hot fudge,
Bren Ren
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks for the kind words! It's always flattering when someone wants to read your work more than just the once. And don't you just love that episode? Definitely one of my favorites.
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