Displaying a bravado that belied the sheer terror that she was feeling, LL turned to study both Kryptonian versions of the man she hated most in the universe and tamped down the ever present waves of terror that had assaulted her as soon as she had been forced to endure their presence.
She watched them critically, trying to determine if accepting help from them was akin to welcoming two more conquerors into her midst. They seemed harmless, friendly and all too human. There was no trace of Kryptonian body language about them. Nothing that said arrogant, domineering, dangerous. And if Zara felt they could be trusted, it was a strong indicator that they could. If she trusted any Kryptonian, it was Zara. Zara had well earned her trust and her friendship.
Both Kryptonians seemed unnerved by her scrutiny, but they remained fairly calm and steady, returning her gaze with nothing but acceptance and patience.
Of all those here, it was one of her own counterparts who seemed the most aggravated by LL's prolonged scrutiny. The one who hadn't ever been to her world was clearly withholding an irritated outburst. As this thought crossed LL's mind, the Kryptonian who claimed to be married to this version of her, a thought which made LL sick to her stomach, turned to his wife and gave her what looked like an amused half-smile. Was he too picking up on his wife's agitation? She wondered if he would censure her, insisting she to be calm in order to gain a foothold in LL's world. But he didn't. The two shared a look that seemed loving and benevolent before returning their attention to her. Whatever LL might think of these two, their relationship seemed to be on equal footing.
Then chaos broke loose.
The Lois who had suffered in her world and the Clark who was married to the other Lois both seemed to shrink in on themselves as they both put hands to their heads. She, the damaged one, looked at the Kal-El she wasn't married to and choked out words that seemed to come from a place of deep physical pain.
"It's him," Lois cried out to Kent. "Kal-El!"
Kent flinched under his own onslaught, but then his face seemed to relax as he found a quick way to end the attack. He moved quickly, but with human speed, to Lois and gripped her hand in his. LL could see that his grip was gentle, even though his body language was urgent and tense. This other Lois didn't seem to mind the contact, even though she was under an emotional attack from a version of Kal-El who had raped and tortured her.
"Lois," Kent urged her, "You can do this - put up your defenses. You can block him out. You did it before, you can do it now!"
LL saw that Lois's husband was agitated too, but he hadn't moved to help his wife. Instead, the other Lois, the undamaged one moved over to sit next to him, taking his hand in hers and gripping it tightly to comfort him.
There was such weird intimacy between the mismatched couples that a nervous thought ran through her mind. Do they ever swap partners?
The idea made her want to throw up and brought to mind new fears. What if they ever confused her for one of these others. She would have to do something to her appearance to make it vividly clear that she was not one of the ones who would ever accept that kind of relationship with them.
But as the thought came, it went. The contact here between the mixed couples wasn't sexual. It was pure succor and comfort. The Clark trying to help the damaged Lois was talking to her in tones that were soothing and gentle as well as encouraging. And the other Lois had her arm around the damaged one's husband, telling him that Lois was strong and she would overcome this mental assault.
It seemed to last forever, but it really took the place of a few minutes. LL saw her doppelganger come out of the assault and look gratefully at the Kryptonian at her side. She put her other hand on his hand that was already holding hers, and squeezed it.
"Thank you," she told him, her voice and manner heart-felt. There was clearly no game being played here, no forced compliance to a dastardly plan. It was obvious to LL that whatever was going on, these two women trusted and cared for these two Kryptonians and that the feeling was very mutual.
Her heart twisted a little at the kindness that shone from the two Kryptonians. They were handsome men when their faces weren't shaped by haughty arrogance and cruelty, and to see them looking at the women with such love and concern - it was enough to slightly penetrate the bitter cold around her own heart. That kind of love was rare, and the idea that these two had found it with Kal-El seemed inconceivable. Yet the proof was right here.
The damaged Lois looked over at LL sensing her deep turmoil.
LL caught her gaze and let her own gaze soften in appreciation for the horror that her counterpart had endured.
"Are you all right," LL asked Lois, feeling she needed to express her concern out loud.
Lois smiled tiredly back at LL.
"Yeah. I am now. Clark is trying to teach me how to block that sort of thing," she indicated the Kryptonian that wasn't her husband. "But I'm not terribly good at it yet."
Kent shook his head.
"Yeah you are," he said. "You're just too hard on yourself."
LL was taken aback by his use of American english slang. 'Yeah' instead of 'Yes'. It underscored how very human and normal he was under the trappings of having been born on Krypton.
"It takes too long for me to put up the defenses," Lois told him, feeling insecure that she needed his help again. "And without you here, I couldn't have done it."
"You probably could have. But I am here, so why shouldn't I help?"
"I need to learn to do it alone," she fretted.
"Okay, next time, I'll try to stay out of it."
"I wasn't criticizing you," she smiled at him. "I'm glad you helped me out, when it comes down to it."
He nodded with a friendly and accepting smile. He understood the point she was trying to make.
LL felt tears burning under her lids. The idea that these four shared such a warm camaraderie cut her to the quick. Love and friendship had never come easily to her, and now she felt sure they would never come again.
It didn't so much hurt to watch the Lois and Clark who had never had to deal with Lord Kal. But watching the Lois who had suffered in her own stead share such warm friendship and love with two different variations of Kal-El made her wonder if in fact there wasn't some dim possibility that she and her own world's real Kal-El belonged together. And if that was the case... it simply could never happen. She hated Kal-El - the clone - with every single fiber of her being. And she could barely stand these two, and they were so human - more human than she felt herself. So how she would ever be able to tolerate the real Kal-El in her world - she simply didn't see it being possible. Every single thing about them would make her sick. She had only refrained from completely breaking down by the fact that neither of these two Kal-El's had attempted to come near her. Had they done so, all her bravado would have escaped her and she would have probably had a complete breakdown.
But they had shown compassion, love and tenderness to the other Lois Lane when she was suffering under the onslaught of Lord Kal's sending. And it was this that tipped the scales in their favor. While LL would always find them utterly terrifying to be around, she knew that they had honor and decency and they would commit themselves to freeing her world. She knew this, because she too was Lois Lane, and as sick as the idea made her, they probably would do it for her.
