LL swallowed hard and then cleared her throat, causing all attention to be diverted back to her. Forcing back her fear at being regarded so closely by two Kal-Els, she gave them her decision.
"I - thank you for your offer to help us, and I accept."
The silence following her pronouncement seemed to drag on for a long time. She looked at the Lois that she kept thinking of as the damaged one and saw a rush of emotions cross her face - many of them not positive. She knew this would be a brutal experience for her.
"Lois. You don't have to come," she told her gently. "I will make sure that people know that your husband isn't dangerous."
Lois looked at her with kindness and appreciation, but her gaze told LL that while she appreciated the offer, she knew that LL herself didn't truly accept that either Kal-El wasn't dangerous. She was taking a huge leap of faith to get to this place of accepting their help that was driven by a good first impression as well as a strong need to rid her world of a monster.
"I appreciate it, Lois," she said quietly. "Nonetheless, I will come along. I know it will be ugly and hard at times - but I will do this. I have a very strong desire to see this pretender deposed."
Lois's voice was hard as she finished her statement and LL could hear herself in the other woman. As healed as her doppelganger seemed, there was underlying pain and hatred that would always be there under the surface. Perhaps then, there was hope for her to live and love again one day when this was all over. Just not, as this other had done, with Kal-El. She shuddered violently at the idea, drawing concerned looks from the two Kal-Els.
She shot them both a sharp and venomous look that said very clearly - so clearly they could even hear her in their minds, 'Don't even think about it. I'm not like them. I don't want your careful concern.'
She saw hurt cross both their features, but then they both quickly schooled themselves to calm again. She was impressed, despite herself. At least they were well trained in the art of backing off.
"You have to understand," said Zara, "This will be brutal for you both. You will be hated. People may try to kill you, and you certainly will cause all manner of panicked reactions. Even I upset people - and I've never harmed a single Earther," she said. "Simply being Kryptonian is cause of great upset. Very few earth resistance members can even stand to talk to me. Lois here is pretty much an exception to the general rule."
"Why," blurted out Lois,curious now about their bond.
"Zara brought upon the wrath of Kal-El onto herself," LL said, her voice breaking a little as she recalled it. "She did it for me..."
"It's a story that doesn't need telling," Zara said as she saw the discomfort on the four faces in front of her. "But Lois is a woman of intelligence and honor - and she understood that I truly wanted to help free her and her world from - my - husband."
There was a long silence following those words. Lois wanted to crawl away right now and be alone. Being around LL and Zara was painful as they triggered ugly memories of the past. She shivered a little, wrapping her arms around herself in comfort. Kent looked at her with worry and a little fear,and Lois smiled at him mirthlessly trying to convey that she would be fine.
Clark of course was fretful about his wife's mental state, but he knew that showing too much concern in the here and now would make her feel weak.
He was gratified when she caught his eye after her exchange with Kent, and nodded,letting him know that she was doing all right.
"Should we talk logistics," asked Lane. "How do we even approach this? How do you want to introduce these two to the resistance? Would we live with the other resistance members - or do you all occupy separate premises? The four of us can stick together wherever it is you decide to put us, but would it be awkward and bad if we were around other resistance members? If these two inspire fear and hatred, wouldn't it be better if we all stayed away from the rest of you until needed for planning and execution of plans?"
"These are all excellent questions," said Zara looking with new appreciation for this Lois - the one who had never known Kryptonian cruelty. In her mind, she had somehow thought of this one as the weakest one due to her not having been honed by suffering into the warrior that LL clearly was, but she could see she had underestimated the woman. "We will need to go back and discuss with the others what we have decided here. Should they decide to veto Lois's decision, we will come back and deliver our regrets. But I feel that Lois's persuasiveness will prevail," she said with a small and rare smile at her friend.
"You mean - if Lois can stand to have them around, then ...anyone can," Lane asked without a single amount of irony or flippancy to her tone.
"Lois is not the only one in our midst who has been victimized by Kal-El," said Zara. "Both of you Kal-Els will be faced with women who view you as rapists and men who view you as torturers. You will be assaulted constantly by their emotions of fear and hatred and you will have to put aside your own sense of injustice over being blamed for things you didn't do. Speaking as a Kryptonian, it's essential that you be calm and accepting of whatever they say or do."
"Clark has practice at that," said Lois humorlessly. "I treated him like the enemy for a very long time and he never once showed any anger or frustration of that. I publicly decried him with an article series - turning the tide of popular opinion against him at times, and he withstood it."
Zara nodded. "I'm sure that you did do all that. So your Clark knows what it's like to be around this kind of fear, hatred and mistrust. But you," she looked at Kent. "This will probably be new for you. I'm guessing most people in the world in which you live like you?"
"Whatever negativity my being an alien with nerve-wracking abilities has engendered, I have it pretty easy. But I promise you, I want to help. I won't crack under the pressure and start complaining or yelling at people. I know I have to bear up under it."
"It's more than bearing up. You both seem to be very caring and empathic," said Zara. "You will look into the eyes of people who have been tortured by Kal-El. It will cut you emotionally - to your very soul. I'm telling you this now, because it's really unnerving and upsetting to look at someone and see them react so fearfully to you. For those of us who don't like hurting people, it's very painful- emotionally speaking. So think hard on whether you can handle that, because whatever fear I've dealt with will be nothing in comparison to what you will deal with."
"I don't see that we have a choice," said Clark looking at Kent. "We want your world to be free. We will find ways to cope."
Zara gave them a small smile, seeing in them the man she always believed that her Kal-El would have become.
"I believe you. I won't bring it up again. What I will do is suggest that you find ways to come back to your own world for time to time in order to experience being around people who don't hate you and fear you. I'm not sure how safe that will be... in terms of keeping our enemies out of your universes, but - if it's at all possible..."
"It would be ill-advised to hop between worlds too much," said Herb, "Because of entropy and-"
"Then no gratuitous universe hopping," said Lois quickly, giving Herb an apologetic smile for interrupting him. "I will be fine," she told her friends, "And we'll all stick together. We will make this work."
"I'm am humbled by you," said Zara formally to Lois making her blush in embarrassment. "You are so strong and brave. I know you all have questions and we will come back to answer them. I can tell you that the resistance is scattered, but there are main headquarters that are well hidden despite the Kryptonian ability to hear and see things that are well hidden. You would live in one of these facilities - where Lois herself resides. Your presence in our world should not be too prolonged. We must act quickly and decisively and with the greatest chances of success. That being said, we will all need to spend time together coming up with the best plan for rescuing Kal-El and re-establishing his right to lead my people."
"Do you also live there," asked Lois.
"No," she said softly. "I live with my people. In order not to attract suspicion."
"Isn't that - dangerous," asked Clark. "You stay with him? Won't he know that you know him to be a fake?"
"It is very dangerous. It's unnerving and highly unpleasant to continue to act as his wife, but nonetheless, it's what I have to do."
Identical eyes looked concerned and upset by her words. Unlike LL, Zara was touched by their concern.
"It seems wrong -"
"I know my duty," Zara said firmly. "I will not shirk it. I owe the human race this duty and I will see it through. I can only hope that my memories of the real Kal-El ring true, and that he has become like the two of you. Then perhaps, my duty to my own people - to be his wife and recover from this assault on our very honor - won't be so unpleasant."
Kent looked down, unable to look at her anymore. He and his own world's Zara had never insisted on being intimate with each other as the result of their marriage. The idea that this variation felt it her duty made him feel sick.
"It is our way," Zara told him gently, seeing his distress. "Don't worry about me."
"Well, it's hard not to," Kent said, giving her a disarming smile.
"I know. This is one of many trials. Lois and I are just the first of many victims of Lord Kal-El, and as much as it upsets you to imagine our distress, remember that this is, as Lois likes to say, just the tip of the iceberg."
Kent heard her meaning. She was telling him to basically shape up and deal. Just like his own Zara, she would put her duty above her own wants,and she expected him to understand that. He nodded at her respectfully. His slight reward was her answering nod, accompanied by a gleam of some sort of respect.
