Clark could see the awestruck look in Lois’ eyes after her encounter with the ‘blur’ as she termed it, er him. He thought of telling her the truth, but he hesitated for a number of reasons. First, he didn’t want her to know that he had caught that bullet she had fired at him before they left the Congo. He knew she regretted it deeply and he didn’t want her to have to relive that moment, that guilt.
Then, when she got all excited about the possibility of writing a story about the blur, he thought that if she knew the truth, she’d want to interview him... he imagined she’d mean well, wanting to share her hero with the world, but for him, it would be a nightmare. He’d never have a personal life again. He remembered his folks long ago speculating on where he had come from, out of his supposed hearing, of course. But his super hearing had picked up on his name, and he knew they had wondered if he was some Russian experiment gone awry or even an alien. They never treated him differently, though, but he thought that if anyone discovered his secret, someone would want to know the details about himself and that would cost him his privacy if not his freedom.
So he couldn’t tell Lois. Not yet, at least...
He brought takeout to her on the sofa, as she was poring over her research from before the gunman had come in. “Figure out anything interesting?”
“No, but I do have a plan. Ooh thanks!” she said, reaching for the Chinese food and immediately digging in. “Clark! Where did you get this? I know I’ve been out of the country a while, but this is the best takeout ever!”
Clark smirked to himself. He had taken a flight to China on the way home... hoping to get this exact reaction from her.
“I have my sources,” he said smugly.
She began to tell him about her ideas of compiling the list of businesses from her earlier stories, and that they needed to cross-reference them with larger conglomerates in the city.
“Well, there’s always the largest conglomeration. You could start with that,” he suggested.
“Who?”
“LexCorp,” he said as if it were obvious.
She laughed incredulously, “Clark, seriously? Lex Luthor is a known philanthropist. I highly doubt that he is involved in organized crime!”
“Well, he should at least be considered. Sometimes, it’s the ones you least suspect...” he said, having his own suspicions about Metropolis’ philanthropic billionaire.
“Fine, but I think it’s a long shot. Anyway, we can start that research tomorrow.”
He watched her a moment as she balanced a box of Chinese food on her lap and flipped through her articles. She looked so at home.
“This is where you belong, you know that?” he said happily.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, here. Doing research... eating Chinese food. With me,” he grinned.
She smiled back. “I do feel like I’m slowly coming back to life. And I owe you a lot of credit for that, Clark. I know I’ve been... emotional and a little crazy—yet you seem to put up with it,” she said lightly. “Though I have no idea why.”
He stared at her uncomprehendingly. <<She didn’t know why?? Really?>> “Lois,” he began, setting aside her dinner and pulling her over to look at him. “I don’t as a rule, sleep with women I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s hard to believe,” she said with a knowing smirk.
“I’m serious here. I mean, I’ve had girlfriends... but, I don’t date around,” he tried explaining, leaving unsaid the one *other* thing that he was afraid would turn her away from him---the fact that he had been a virgin that night they met in the Congo.
“What are you saying, Clark?” she asked.
He reached to caress her cheek. “I’m saying that.... I love you, Lois Lane. Or, Mrs. Kent, depending,” he said lightly, then sighed. “What I mean is you are very special to me. I saw it the instant you came into that bar. I mean, I saw you. Beautiful, strong, yet so vulnerable. I simply wanted to protect you.”
He leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes, but instead of going immediately to her lips, he kissed her eyes gently, causing her to gasp with pleasure. Then he settled on her mouth, his tongue gently insisting on entrance, which she freely gave.
“Clark,” she breathed in between kisses.
“I love you,” he whispered back.
She pulled back reluctantly, and he noticed her eyes were full of tears.
“What is it? Have I made you cry?” he asked with concern.
She wiped them away, “No, it’s not you. It’s me. I’ve never known anyone like you before, Clark. And you offering your heart like that to me--- is amazing, yet I can’t accept it. You are so---wonderful, Clark. But I---I’m a mess. Honestly! You know some of what I did in the Congo, and that stuff doesn’t just go away overnight, you know? I feel like I need to, I don’t know, just get through this with the Boss. And I think the blur can help me.”
“The blur?” he asked weakly, wondering how his declaring his love got them so derailed.
“Yes! You see, he’s so good, and I know he’ll protect me. And I’m sure he’s after these villains as much as we are. Why else would he help me and my sister? But you see, I will feel forever haunted by the Congo until it’s over. “
“And then?” he pressed on. “When it’s over what will you do? Is there any hope for us to be together?”
She smiled at him. “I don’t know, Clark. Honestly. I care about you, I really do. And obviously I’m attracted to you. But do we really know each other? I mean, I know you to be one of the most decent—no, the most decent man I have ever met. But I can’t say I love you---not that I never will,” she hurried on, touching his lips gently with her fingers to stop him from protesting. “I just can’t say I do, yet.”
“Fine,” he grumbled, heading into the kitchen.
“Clark! Come back, please?”
He turned to look at her, his heart wrenched in pain. “What do you want from me, Lois?” He was offering her everything and she simply didn’t see it. She was blinded by her own past-- and he knew he didn’t help things by not explaining the blur to her.
“Clark, look, I’m trying to be fair here. I *do* care about you---and that is the exact reason why I can’t---promise anything yet.” She stood up and walked over to him, taking his hand. “I owe you a lot, but I’m not sure it’s love. And it’s not fair to you or either of us to declare love when all it might be is an attraction and a sense of duty or gratitude. Don’t you see? I think we owe it to each other to give ourselves time. Isn’t that the reason---you said we shouldn’t---you know, sleep together again?”
Her cheeks were aflame, and despite his pain, he thought she looked charming. It softened some of the hurt he was feeling, but really a lot of his anguish was coming from an entirely different source. He wanted to tell her he was the blur, her hero, but he didn’t have the courage to confide that to her yet. Ultimately, he conceded that she was right, that he had no right to press a declaration of love from her, not while there were still secrets between them.
“I’m sorry, Lois. You’re right,” he said warmly, gently squeezing her hand.
She leaned in to hug him and then whispered in his ear, “But I will admit that I’m jealous of any woman that as so much as glances your way.”
That warmed him a little, and he smiled in return. “Likewise. Any man that does, I mean,” he chuckled.
She laughed, “My sister has it for you bad, too. Oh, I forgot! My sister was here!”
“What?”
“Yeah, she was looking for you, wanting to tell you about her experience with the blur... and well, I just couldn’t let her stand on the stoop, crying about me, actually. So, I told her.”
Lois looked up at him, waiting to see if he would be angry, he suspected. He wasn’t angry though, just concerned.
“I think it will be fine, Lois. We are on the trail of the Boss, I know it,” Clark said, promising himself to check on Lucy over the next few days.
She nodded. “I know. And the blur is out there, looking out for me and Lucy.... it was so good to talk to her again, Clark. Even if she is a little flaky.”
“I’m glad, then. But, did you tell her that she had to keep quiet about you? I mean, no one else knows you’re here, right?”
“Yes, I told her. I think she’ll keep it a secret. She was pretty shaken up by that guy coming into her apartment, even if the blur did save her.”
“I imagine so,” he agreed. “Did you—ask her about your parents?”
Lois nodded. “Yeah, Dad’s in some remote country in Europe and Mother is chasing some guy... but Lucy did say she might tell Mother... I don’t know, Clark. I want her to know, but I’m worried.”
Clark sighed, seeing his work cut out for him in protecting those Lois loved. “Lois, I promise, we’ll find a way. Everything will work out, you’ll see.”
He took her in his arms for a gentle hug.
“I don’t know what I would have done without you... You...and the blur. Both of you have saved me, you know? Given me hope again that people aren’t all bad.”
“They aren’t, Lois. There’s good in everybody, I’ve always believed that.”
She pulled slightly away from his embrace to look in to his eyes. “Is that why---why you don’t think I’m a horrible person?” she said sadly, the condemnation of herself evident on her face.
“Yes. I try not to judge people. We all face challenges. You would have ended up dead if you hadn’t done what you did. And even though I wish---even though I wish you had never been put in that position, I think you can move on. You have to. There’s good in you, Lois Lane. I’ve read it in your stories. You have set so many wrongs right with your writing, and you will continue to do so.”
She leaned into his chest, her head turned away from him, and he suspected she was crying.
Gently, he leaned down to kiss her head.
“Thanks, Clark.”
*~*~*~*
Clark got a phone call at the Planet the next day, and it felt like a visit from a ghost from the past.
“Is this Martha and Jonathan Kent’s son, Clark?” came the voice of a man from Clark’s childhood.
Clark choked a little bit in answering but managed, “Uh, yes it is. This is Clark Kent.”
“Clark? This is Wayne Irig.”
“Wayne? How are you? Haven’t heard from you in ages...” Clark answered, as memories of Smallville came rushing back at the sound of his parents’ best friend.
“Well, I’m sorry to bother you, a big metropolitan newsman and all now, but I might have something that’s newsworthy, but not something I’m certain that should be shared with the whole world just yet,” he said awkwardly.
“What do you mean, Wayne. Is everything okay?” Clark asked, his mind racing.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. You see, I was digging on the edge of Shuster’s Field, that bumps your parent’s property and my own, and I found this really strange rock that glows green. I was thinking it might be worth something, you know? Times have been a little tough and well, I thought of sending it to the state lab to check it out, but---well, I just thought you might be interested to know, since I found it technically on your folk’s property. What should I do, do you think?”
Clark had no idea what Wayne had found, though he wondered if it could have anything to do with him, knowing his parents had found him in Shuster’s Field. He was intrigued regardless, and knew that it was best if this rock was kept a secret, at least until he knew more.
“Do nothing. Please. I’d like to see this rock. It may well be newsworthy, but---please Wayne, at least wait until I can get there.”
“All right. When can you get here, do you think?”
<<Two minutes,>> Clark mentally calculated, but forced himself to calm down. “Uh, I’ll get a flight this evening and come by.”
“Great, look forward to seeing you, Son. It’s been a long time.”
“I know. Too long,” Clark said sadly, hanging up. He rarely went to Smallville anymore, though he hadn’t had the heart to sell the farm. It was technically his and it hadn’t needed to be sold because his parents had it paid off ages ago. But he went back to it less and less frequently, too saddened by the memory of the loss of his parents.
Lois suddenly came out of Perry’s office, and she immediately came up to him, seeing his expression.
“Clark? Are you okay?” she asked with concern.
He realized he had no idea what to tell her or what to do about Lois while he would be in Smallville. He couldn’t take her with him, and he had to come up with some excuse to slip away for at least an hour this evening.
“Fine,” he said, forcing a smile. “What did Perry want?” he asked, hoping to change the subject.
She eyed him a moment, judging if he was telling the truth, then flopped an invitation down on his desk. “Lex Luthor is giving a ball tomorrow night. Perry wants us to cover it. I figure this is our chance. If you think he’s dirty, maybe something will slip up.”
“But Lois, if he *is* the Boss, chances are, he’ll recognize you. Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I can blend in, Clark. Besides, you’ll be there.”
He thought of Lois dressed up for a ball and laughed. “Lois, I highly doubt you can blend in at a ball like that.”
She smiled, “Well, still. Even if you think Luthor is the criminal we’re hunting, it’s unlikely he’d try anything in such a setting, don’t you think?”
*~*~*~*
Clark left Lois that evening at his apartment, poring over his notes on Luthor’s business dealings, with an excuse that he needed to go back to the Planet to get something. He was vague, saying he’d be gone for about an hour, hoping that she’d be safe and that she wouldn’t question further. He certainly had no idea how else he could explain going to Kansas and back and thought it was best to leave quickly. He had checked the area around his apartment twice, to make sure that no one was around who might bother her. Besides, he would be back in an hour, tops.
Once he was assured she was safely ensconced in his apartment, Clark headed to Smallville, his heart heavy.
There were too many painful memories associated with his hometown. His parents had been wonderful when he was growing up, giving him the best childhood one could hope for. After their death, he had lived with various foster parents, never finding the sense of home he had had growing up with the Kents. Families would take him in until he accidentally did something strange using his powers that would cause his fosters to send him away again in fear. Over time, he had learned to be more cautious, to try to fit in.
In high school, he had played some football, which had taught him how to rein in his strength and play sports like a regular guy. He became the star quarterback and had even fallen for the head cheerleader, Lana Lang. At first, their romance had seen idyllic, but by their senior year, it had become another painful story about his life in Smallville...
Clark had saved her from a car accident. She had put together a hundred other little things that he had done with his special abilities since she’d known him, eventually leading her to discover his secret.
Lana had thought she sort of owned him after that, discouraging him at every turn from helping people by using his powers. She emphasized his need to blend in, and she isolated him from friends, declaring she was worried he would be discovered and taken away from her. She had even convinced him after their senior year that they should get married. But when she began to box him in and try to change who he really was, he had realized he didn’t really love her. He began to push her away and she had clung harder to him, until finally he had left Smallville, cutting all ties there. He had traveled the world to escape the pain of his hometown, finally settling in Metropolis, a city large enough that he could blend in and still help out on occasion with little scrutiny.
Lana had eventually moved on as well, and was now married with two kids. He rarely saw her. In fact, he rarely even went to Smallville anymore. He had thought of selling his parents’ farm dozens of times, but he was never able to bring himself to do it. Over the years, he had promised himself that someday he’d organize their possessions and pick a few things to keep and then sell the farmhouse, but he had barely crossed its threshold in ten years. He had managed basic upkeep on the farm though, and plowed the field in the fall. With his abilities, it didn’t take much to keep it presentable at least. But no one lived there. It was simply a large memory box that he didn’t dare open and couldn’t bear to sell away.
*~*~*~*
Clark landed on the edge of Wayne’s farm and walked the rest of the way to his house. As the sun set, the quiet of the countryside was beginning to evolve into the cacophony of night sounds. Clark’s special hearing could hear through the general hum of crickets and night noises to hear exactly which animals were rustling, where bees were buzzing, and how many owls were hooting. The night time was easily as noisy as a Metropolis street here in the country, especially in the summer.
Wayne Irig’s house was a modest farmhouse, smaller than the Kents'. As Clark walked up, he noticed Wayne’s house was in a bit of disrepair. It needed to be repainted, some shingles were torn, and a few boards on the porch needed to be replaced. Clark felt shame for Wayne and shame for himself for not coming out here sooner to help him. His parents had been really close to the Irigs and Clark knew that his parents wouldn’t approve of his neglect of one of their good friends. He silently promised to offer whatever help he could in the future, no matter how painful it was to come back to Smallville.
Clark knocked on the screen door, but saw Wayne sitting just a few feet away in the kitchen, waving him in. “Come on in, Clark.”
Clark entered the small farmhouse and walked over to Wayne to shake his hand.
“It’s been a while, Son. How’s the newspaper gig?”
Clark smiled warmly, though inwardly he again felt guilty for not coming to see him more often, “It’s going well, Wayne. I’ve learned a lot over the past year. Perry, my boss—well, he keeps me on my toes.”
“I’ll bet,” Wayne answered mildly.
“How have things been around here?” Clark asked casually, wondering how much Wayne would tell him.
“A bit difficult, but the roof’s still over our heads... for now,” he mumbled and an awkward silence fell between the two men.
Clark cleared his throat, determined to be a better friend to Wayne. “You know, while I’m here, I’d be happy to help out. Dad—“ he hesitated, both of them remembering the friend they had lost in Jonathan Kent. “Dad taught me how to fix shingles and... well, I’m pretty handy around a farm.”
Wayne smiled sadly, “I appreciate it, Clark. But there’s just too much that needs to be done and besides---well, there may not be much point to doing any fixing anyhow.”
“What do you mean, Wayne?” Clark asked.
“Well, I hurt my back about eight months ago and had to take some time off work. Never been the same since, you know. And well, I haven’t been able to do the farm work like I used to... And Margaret has done what she can, but a lot of the work to be done is just back breaking. And well, it’s just been hard to pull in a decent harvest on my own.” At Clark’s questioning look Wayne continued. “I had the Conway boys on for a while, but can’t afford to be paying them, so had to let them go a month ago... and now...the bank’s been calling---“ he couldn’t finish, but laid his head in his hands in shame.
Clark patted him on the shoulder. “Wayne, if there’s anything I can do---?”
“It’s all right, Clark. I mean, things aren’t what they should be around here anymore,” he said, sitting up and wiping his eyes, from tears or strain, Clark couldn’t tell. “That’s one reason I was hoping you knew something about the rock I found. I thought it might be valuable.” Wayne then gestured to a heavy leaden box on his table. “I haven’t even told Margaret about it yet. She’s out with some friends tonight,” Wayne said with a dismissive gesture.
As Clark pulled the box closer to him, Wayne shook his head, still surprised by what he had found. “It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen... you know there’s rumors of meteorites and even aliens out here in the country, and I just can’t help wonder--- Well, have a look.”
Wayne reached over to crack open the box and a strange green glow came from the rock inside.
Clark immediately felt a headache, something he had never experienced in all of his life. It took him so by surprise that he had to immediately sit down, his hand going to his head that felt like it might explode. He couldn’t focus, but he could feel Wayne’s hand on his shoulder.
“Are you all right, Clark?” he asked with concern.
The rock seemed to vibrate through him, painfully, zapping all of his strength and energy. He managed to reach up and close the lid, feeling at last some relief from the terrible pain rippling through his body.
“Clark... what happened?” Wayne asked steadily, getting him a glass of water.
Clark accepted the glass though he thought it might just slip out of his hands, he felt so weak. “I don’t know... I’ve never felt anything like it. That rock seemed to do something strange to me...”
Wayne eyed Clark warily. “Clark, now listen to me carefully... I loved your parents almost as much as you did. They always helped me out and I did what I could for them... I never questioned them, and I knew they loved you deeply. But Son, tell me, why did that rock affect you like that?”
Clark shook his head, still reeling from the effects of the strange encounter. “Honestly Wayne, I have no idea. I—I just want to ask you to please, don’t tell anyone about that rock. Not until I... know more about it.”
Wayne nodded solemnly, thinking and looking right into Clark’s eyes. “Son, what do you know about how your parents found you?”
Clark looked at Wayne, torn between curiosity and panic. Clark’s own knowledge of his origins was sketchy at best. Over the years, he had examined over and over what little his parents had told him or he had overheard, coming up with little to explain how he got his abilities.
“I—I know that I was adopted,” Clark began cautiously.
Wayne nodded, his eyes never leaving Clark’s. “Look, Son, your parents were my best friends. I never would do them no harm, you have to believe me. But---well, they told me a wild story one night, one I think they regretted, though I never repeated it to a living soul. And it had to do with you.”
Clark’s mouth went dry, curiosity and fear warring within him as he wondered what Wayne knew. He thought Wayne could be trusted, as he seemed to have not breathed a word of whatever he knew all of these years.
“What---what do you know?” asked Clark, shocked by the thin sound of his own voice.
Wayne eyed the box in front of him then looked back at Clark. “Mmmm...” he said, thinking. “I know they found you in Shuster’s Field.”
Clark nodded.
“Do you know how they found you, Clark?” Wayne asked, his eyes boring into Clark.
Clark shook his head, his heart pounding with interest mingled with fear.
“There was a meteorite that night. Clear lit up the sky, it did. Your parents were driving by and they went to investigate.”
Clark couldn’t speak, mesmerized by Wayne’s tale, absorbing every detail.
“They expected to find a space rock out in that field, and instead found you, Clark... in a spaceship.”
Wayne waited for Clark’s reaction. Clark merely let out a breath. He had always known that his abilities had either come from a horrible experiment or that he was an alien. Could this be proof that he was the latter?
He had always felt different, and his abilities were certainly not like anyone’s on Earth. Clark suddenly felt very grateful that the Kents had found him – if he was an alien as Wayne was saying, then Clark was very lucky indeed to have found such loving and accepting parents.
Wayne paused as Clark sat reflecting on what he had told him. “I thought they were a little crazy. I didn’t give much thought about it, really. For years. But I heard stories... and this rock—well, I think it came from your—spaceship or whatever. Clark, I think you’re an alien,” he said in all seriousness.
Clark laughed nervously. “Wayne, all of this is new to me. You have to understand. I—I don’t know the details of where I came from... and this rock—“ Clark eyed the box suspiciously. “I don’t understand its effects on me. I don’t know if I’m an--- alien. I only know that---I’m different.”
“I haven’t said a word in almost thirty years, Clark, about what your folks told me. I’m not about to start now,” he said and pushed the box over to Clark. “I have no idea what this is, but I’ll pretend like I never saw it and we never had this conversation.”
