A dose of craziness gathered from IRC tonight... After Elena decided to change her nick to Mrs. Tempus, we just couldn't resist
What? You said we're crazy?! DID YOU EVER DOUBT IT?!?!?! (<G>)
Punctuation was edited properly and anything unL&Cy was deleted, including (unfortunately) a few cameos and inside (or should I say, 'outside'? <G>) jokes.
Starring: (In order of appearance)
LucyLane, ClarkKent: AnnaBtG
LoisLane: Raquel
CKent, PWhite, Kal-l: Jose
Mrs. Tempus: Elena
JimmyOlse: Saskia
LanaLang: Anni the Diva
PerryWht: Pam
Cameo appearances: OrdLaurie, Andrianna, ChiefPam
Story takes place in #loisclark aka. The Daily Planet newsroom
<LucyLane> Hi sis!!
<LoisLane> Hi Lucy! Where's Clark?
<CKent> Hello! Lois!!! Finally I found you!!
<LoisLane> Yeah...
<CKent> So you were who trapped Lois, Mrs Tempus... seeking revenge?
<MrsTempus> I haven't trapped anyone!
<LoisLane> Clark? Please, stay away. She is evil. She could have Kryptonite!
<PWhite> Lois!!!
<LoisLane> I'm coming, chief!
<PWhite> Where is that piece!! Lucy!!
<LoisLane> I'm sorry...Clark and I were kind of busy...
<LucyLane> What?
<PWhite> I didn't hire you to chat with your sister!
<LucyLane> Sorry, Chief
<PWhite> Olsen!!!
<LucyLane> Where is my Jimmy?
<LoisLane> She is dating Jimmy...it's not my fault!
<LucyLane> I need my Jimmy! I need my Jimmy...
<LoisLane> I need to find Clark. He was here a while ago. Why does he always disappear when I need him??
* LoisLane is mad.
<LucyLane> He may have had a Superman emergency... yes, I DO know the truth!!!! ...There he is, Lo!
<LoisLane> Clark! Where have you been???
<CKent> Eh... <CKent> I went to...
<JimmyOlse> There you are Lucy!
<OrdLaurie> The toilet?
<LucyLane> Lois! Watch out!! Lana is here!!
<LanaLang> Oh, Clarkie!!! Where are you?!?!?
<LoisLane> Hey!
<JimmyOlse> Who's that hot chick?
<LucyLane> Jimmy!!! Stop right now!!!
* Kal-l flies
<LoisLane> Clark, who is this woman with you??? So that was what you had to do??
<LanaLang> You're Lola, right?
<PWhite> What's this!??!
<LanaLang> That reporter?
<PWhite> The Happy Hour at the bar!!!
* LanaLang looks at Perry disdainfully
<PWhite> Olsen!! My golf cart horn is fixed?
<LucyLane> Chief, kick this woman's @$$ away, or *I*'ll have to do it!
<LoisLane> Perry, Clark came here and brought a woman with him...that was what he was doing while I was trying to finish our article!
* LoisLane rolls her eyes
<JimmyOlse> Golf cart horn? I thought I was supposed to fix your chair?
<LanaLang> And who're *you*? Are you on a highschool field trip, little girl?
<LoisLane> Shut up!
<LucyLane> Ha! You don't know what i'm capable of doing when i'm defending *my* man
* LanaLang looks at Lucy
<PWhite> Great Shades of Elvis!!
<PWhite> Who is this woman!?
<LanaLang> Oh yeah?!?!?
<PWhite> The exorcist girl grown up?
<LoisLane> I don't even know who you are but you're inside a newsroom and where's Clark now?
<LanaLang> He wants a *real* woman, little girl
* LanaLang was kicked by LucyLane (see! I'm capable of doing a lot of things!!)
* LanaLang has joined #loisclark
<CKent> Lana!!!
<LanaLang> Clarkie!!!!
<CKent> What on Earth are you doing here?
<LoisLane> Clark, can you explain to me who is she?
<CKent> What are you doing?
<LanaLang> I just thought I'd come to visit you, Clarkie...
<CKent> Don't touch me!!!
<LanaLang> Did you miss me?
<CKent> No!!
* LanaLang smiles and moves in for the KILL
<LoisLane> Clark!
* LanaLang puts her arms around Clark's neck
<LoisLane> I'm hurt
<CKent> Lois!!!
* LoisLane slaps Lana
* LanaLang slaps right back
* JimmyOlse goes away to fix that horn now... before I'm out of a job!
<LoisLane> Clark is mine, did you hear me?
<CKent> Ehm... I have to meet a source
<LanaLang> *I* had him first
* LanaLang smiles
<LoisLane> Clark never loved you, Lana.
<LanaLang> Yes, he did, honey... Oh, he left!
<LucyLane> Because he couldn't stand being in the same room with you!
* LanaLang gasps, then retorts
<LoisLane> Yes....that's why!
<LanaLang> Oh yeah, well maybe he was sick and tired of your patronizing!
<LoisLane> Me?
<LanaLang> Yes you! Who else would it be? Cindy Crawford?
<LoisLane> Clark could never be sick of me.
<LanaLang> Wanna bet?
<LoisLane> Sure. He left because of you btw.
<LanaLang> He did not! He probably went back to Smallville because he's sick of Metropolis and *YOU*.
<LoisLane> He couldn't stand you Lana....He never find true love until he met me...can't you just give up?
<LanaLang> *I* should give up? Why should *I* be the one to give up? I had him first!
<LoisLane> Yes, you should. You never had him, Lana.
<LanaLang> Yes, I did. We were in love!
<PerryWht> Um, ladies... this may not be the time or place for this, ahem, discussion... This is a newsroom, not a singles chatroom!
* LanaLang hops on a plane back to Smallville
<LucyLane> Perry, it's *Lana*'s fault!!! ...see, Lo? She finally left.
<LoisLane> Yeah. I won!!!! I always win anyway...
<Andrianna> Wrong, Clark's *in Smallville*.
<PerryWht> Y'know, this kinda reminds me of something that happened to the King...
* LucyLane hurries out of the newsroom...
<LoisLane> Perry I'm not in the mood to hear one of your Elvis's stories. I need to find Clark.
<ClarkKent> Here I am!
<PerryWht> Lois, honey... I would never make you do something you wouldn't want to do. Except, maybe, *work*! Don't you have something to write up?
<LoisLane> Clark!
<ClarkKent> Lois!
* PerryWht throws up his hands in despair
<LoisLane> Perry I need to talk to Clark...I'll be back.
<PerryWht> Come on, you're all going to the copy room, away from those of us who are actually *earning* our pay...
<ClarkKent> Lois, honey, Bobby called... he says he has information for us.
<PerryWht> Just watch out for the Lexmark, it's been erratic lately...
<LoisLane> It's about...a source. Good...see we are working Perry!
<ClarkKent> Maybe we should just throw away that Lexmark...
<PerryWht> Uh-huh. I'll believe it when I see the story on my desk... and it'd darned well better be a *good* story after all these shenanigans...
<LoisLane> No problem, chief
<ClarkKent> Lois, distract Perry for a sec, please...
* LoisLane grabs Clark and ran to the Conference Room.
* ClarkKent types the article in superspeed.
<ClarkKent> Wait until i finish this one, Lois!!......okay, finished it.
* ClarkKent lets Lois grab him into the Conference Room
<LoisLane> Clark, what the hell was that?
* PerryWht raises a skeptical eyebrow, but retires to his office to check his email.
<LoisLane> I mean who was that lady that came after you?
* PerryWht mutters something about Elvis and Priscilla.
<ClarkKent> Just a silly girl who thinks i'm in love with her... but i'm not, Lois!! Frankly!!
<LoisLane> I don't know, Clark.....I'm really hurt... She came here and said you still love her.
<ClarkKent> No, honey, don't worry... she's just too jealous.
* ClarkKent caresses Lois's cheek
<ClarkKent> I love *you*, not her.
* LoisLane got teary eyed.
<LoisLane> Why did you leave me with her then?
* ClarkKent wipes Lois's tears
<ClarkKent> Someone was being mugged... I had to help... couldn't imagine she was going to do such stuff. Good thing Lucy was here to help you.
<LoisLane> Yeah, but you weren't here, Clark. She told me horrible things.
<ClarkKent> Whatever she said, is a lie. Forget it.
<LoisLane> Why did she come here anyway? Did you tell her about our marriage or something? Clark...I need to know....the truth.
<ClarkKent> No, Lois! I don't want her here! I didn't invite her and I have no idea why she came here.
* LoisLane walks to the other corner of the room.
<ClarkKent> Do you want me to take her to Smallville?
<LoisLane> I don't want you near her!
<ClarkKent> I won't go near her ever again, Lois. I promise.
<LoisLane> You better Kent or I promise you...you won't touch me again.
<ClarkKent> Oh, Lois, don't do that to me!!
* ClarkKent gives Lois a puppy-dog look.
* LoisLane can't resist Clark's puppy-dog eyes.
<LoisLane> Do you promise me you won't go after her?
<ClarkKent> Yes, Lois, I do.
* LoisLane looks deep into Clark's eyes
<ClarkKent> How about going somewhere for dinner? I know this superb restaurant in Barcelona...
<ChiefPam> Just watch out for the waiter. He's from Barcelona, you see...
<LoisLane> Clark, I was thinking about a more private place.
* LoisLane blinks at Clark.
<ClarkKent> Okay, it's too late anyway, so let's go home.
<LoisLane> Wait...there's something.
<ClarkKent> What?
<LoisLane> This....
* LoisLane kisses Clark.
<LoisLane> I think no one can separate us. I love you, Clark.
<ClarkKent> I love you too, Lois. I will always love you. Now, how about going home?
<LoisLane> Great idea.
THE END
