Chapter 7
While Martha and Jonathan remained by their son’s bed, an exhausted Sam Lane left the bedroom and sank onto the couch beside Lois. Wearily rubbing his temples, he said, “You weren’t kidding when you said this would be dangerous.”
Lois smiled weakly.
“That was really…well…” He searched for words. “Something. What was all that? I don’t suppose you know anything about what that woman was doing.”
She shrugged. “No clue. I’m sure she’s long gone.”
“Strangest thing I’ve ever seen. So…when did you know you were dating Superman?” he teased.
“I didn’t. Not until...“ She felt foolish because she wasn’t sure how much time had elapsed since this whole debacle had started. “Recently.”
She should admonish her father about needing to keep Clark’s identity a secret, but her mind wasn’t functioning that clearly. She managed to say, “Thanks, Dad. This means everything to me.”
“With some of his powers coming back, that ought to help him heal faster. The skin on his hand - I’ve never seen epidermis regenerate like that. It practically grew right before my eyes. Incredible.”
“That’s good.” Lois stared blankly, her eyes glazing over. The stress of the past days had worn her out.
“Guess you’ve got a front page exclusive for the Planet,” he joked, trying to evoke a reaction.
“Huh?” Lois mumbled incoherently.
“Go home, get some sleep. He’s stable. I’ll stick around and monitor him. We’ll keep you posted.”
XXXXXX
When Jimmy dropped off Lois at her apartment, she felt as if she hadn’t been there in weeks.
“Thanks, Jimmy. For everything.”
She hadn’t seen Jimmy since she’d left the hospital with Clark. Upon her father’s request, he’d shown up at Clark’s apartment to take her home. Normally she would’ve vehemently protested that she didn’t need babysitting, but she’d been too fatigued. The car ride to her apartment had been a blur.
“I made sure to mention at the nurse’s station that your father made arrangements to move Clark for the operation. And that he filed the proper paperwork but it must’ve gotten ‘misplaced’ in the rush,” he grinned.
“That’s a relief.”
Maybe they were going to get away with this after all.
“Is CK gonna be okay?” Jimmy asked, nervously.
“So far, it’s looking good.”
Jimmy was eagerly watching her. Even with all he’d experienced tonight, she could fool him. Build up the story about an experimental therapy, and he’d be satisfied. He hadn’t seen Clark and Superman together, though he had commented on ‘Bob’s’ uncanny resemblance to Clark. He hadn’t seen Superman and Clark’s bodies disintegrating then merging together or the needles erupting from Clark’s flesh while they were transporting him in the ambulance. He also wasn’t aware that ‘Bob’ no longer existed.
This wasn’t any ordinary secret. This knowledge could put Jimmy in danger. And, besides, it wasn’t her secret to tell.
But Jimmy had put everything on the line for Clark and for her, without question. He’d run all over town searching for the bizarre items the psychic had needed. He’d distracted doctors and nurses during the rejoining ritual. He’d even cleaned up after they’d spirited Clark out of the hospital. They could’ve been arrested had they been caught and faced serious charges.
Jimmy deserved to know the truth.
How was she going to explain this? It was a delicate situation. The fact that Clark had voluntarily subjected himself to something this insane to avoid spilling the beans obviously indicted how difficult sharing this knowledge with others was for him.
Jimmy sensed Lois was struggling with something.
“It’s cool, Lois. I get it.” Disappointed, he moved towards the door, his shoulders slumping.
“No, Jimmy.” She’d made her decision, “I want you to know.”
More confidently, he glanced back. “Tell me the details later. You’re wiped out. I think I know who we were helping. You can count on me. I won’t tell a soul.”
“Thanks.” She replied, relieved she didn’t have to go into specifics.
“Get some sleep, Lois.”
Jimmy let himself out while Lois stumbled through her apartment, eventually collapsing on her bed, fully dressed with her shoes still on.
XXXXXXX
Clark was lying on the ground, unconscious. Frantically, she raced towards him, striving to reach him. Somehow the faster she tried to run, the slower she actually moved, the distance between them seemingly unchanged. Pushing herself as hard as she could, she finally almost reached him. Before she could touch him, his body turned into dust.
“No! No!”
Opening her eyes, her bedroom was flooded with bright sunshine. Still shaking, Lois grabbed a comfy bathrobe and padded towards the kitchen. Half-filled coffee cups littered the counter. A container of Mu Shu pork by the sink was starting to stink. She shoved it aside as she searched for the tea kettle.
She’d never thought of herself as the tea type but it might be worth trying, especially after that nightmare. The label on the box she pulled out of the cupboard touted its soothing effects. After turning on the burner, she checked the answering machine. With so much going on, she’d been lax about her messages.
First was Martha’s voice. Lois, I hope you’re resting. Just wanted you to know that Clark is stable.
Beep.
Jimmy told me all about Clark’s surgery. Take all the time that you need. But not too much. Perry laughed. Seriously, tell Clark we need the two of you. Get better soon.
Beep.
I’ve got a lead on Cicone that you’ll be interested in - once you’re up to it. Hope you’re getting some rest, Jimmy said.
Beep.
Martha again. Lois? Are you okay? He’s awake. And he’s asking for you.
Beep.
Ms. Lane, I trust you’ll be smart enough to stay out of Mr. Cicone’s business in the future. We’re keeping a close eye on you.
When Lois checked the time display on the microwave, she was alarmed when she recognized that not one but two days had passed since the rejoining. She still felt like the walking dead. When she hadn’t been sleeping, she’d been blankly staring at the television for hours at a time, with no memory of what she’d viewed.
What was wrong with her?
Why wasn’t she rushing over to see Clark or dying to bug Jimmy about the story tip? Or worried that the man who tried to shoot her was still threatening her? Even though the dream had frightened her, a sense of emptiness prevailed within her. Despite the fact that Clark was the one who had undergone the radical procedure, she’d felt as if she were suffering some of the effects. As if part of her had become dormant.
Why had it taken so much effort just to get out of bed?
A knock on door startled her. Unconcerned by her sloppy appearance, Lois peered through the peep hole. Then she unlocked the door to let Martha Kent enter.
“Hi Martha. I’m sorry I haven’t been by,” Lois apologized. “Anything new?”
Martha strode in. “He’s awake. He’s weak, but his mind seems to be functioning okay.”
“Good.”
The whistle of the tea-kettle attracted the women’s attention.
“Can I get you some tea?” Lois offered.
Cautiously peering at the mess about her, Martha diplomatically suggested, “Why don’t I help you?”
After two clean mugs were unearthed and the tea was served, the two women sat on the couch.
“He wants to see you.”
Lois should be thrilled that Clark was recovering and thinking of her. Why did that statement cause a flicker of anger to spike within her? What must Martha be thinking of her?
What was her problem?
“I still don’t understand how he could do something so foolish. We almost lost him,” Martha said, sadly.
The emotional void within Lois was suddenly filled with pain.
“He didn’t trust me.” Lois said, realizing it was the truth. He’d split himself in half so he wouldn’t have to tell her that he was Superman.
“That’s not it.”
Surprised by Martha’s certainty, she asked, “How do you know?”
“He must’ve told us a dozen times that he loved you and trusted you. That’s not it at all. We’ve been telling him for weeks to be honest with you and he kept saying, ‘It’s too soon.’ Whatever that means.
“Lois, I don’t blame you for feeling confused or even angry. I’m struggling with some of those emotions myself. As much as I know Clark cares for you, I wouldn’t blame you if you needed to walk away. In your shoes, I might feel that way too. But…don’t you want to ask him why he did it?”
Lois was vaguely surprised Clark’s mother wasn’t defending him.
“He can’t handle that right now.”
Martha insisted, “I don’t care. Of all people, he owes you an explanation. Then maybe you can explain it to me.”
XXXXXX
After lingering in a hot shower until her skin turned wrinkled and pink, Lois dressed in casual clothes then walked over to Clark’s apartment. His mother eagerly greeted her, escorted her to Clark’s bedroom then discretely left the two of them alone.
Clark was lying on the bed, wearing a worn t-shirt and sweatpants. Rather than the waxy appearance he’d had in the hospital, his color was good. Some of the weight on her chest loosened as she saw him smile.
“Hey!” He said, seemingly pleased to see her.
In some ways, she longed to touch him, to pull him close and hide in the security of his embrace. Yet Lois sat stiffly on the edge of the bed instead.
“How are you?” she asked.
“I feel stronger. There’s a lot less pain. Look -the burn on my hand has already healed.” He held his palm towards her for inspection.
“Great.”
“I’m having a little trouble thinking clearly.”
Lois shuddered, not wanting to consider that possibility. “Let’s hope that will pass as you get stronger. What about…your powers?”
It felt weird talking about that with Clark.
“I’m trying not to use them until I’m sure I can control them.”
“Good idea.”
Even though Clark wasn’t fully recovered, he noticed her discomfort. “What’s wrong?”
“Where do I start?” her voice broke. “You were shot by a bullet intended for me. You lost a ton of blood and almost died. Then I find out that you deliberately did something incredibly dangerous and stupid. And you’ve kept a humongous secret from me. How’s that for starters?”
“Lois, I…”
This wasn’t fair. He’d come out and said he wasn’t fully recovered. She could see it. But it was all coming to the surface, no matter how hard she tried to tamp those feelings back down. She had to know.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded.
He paused, thinking. Then he said, “I wanted you to love me, not just Superman. I hated the covering up, the lying. It’s not easy.”
Sarcasm snuck into her voice. “Really? ‘Cause you seemed pretty good at it.”
“Lois. If the wrong people knew who I was they’d try to extort me to use my powers for their benefit. Or lock me up to study me like some lab specimen. Or even worse, harm the people I care about.” He reached for her hand but she yanked it back.
“Guess I must be the wrong people,” she sighed.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Up until a few nights ago, only my parents knew. Nobody else.”
“But…” She could feel the tears building up in her throat. “I thought we were friends. Close friends. Why didn’t you trust me? I never would’ve exposed you. You have to know that.”
“I do. It’s not about trust,” Clark insisted.
“Then what is it about?” Lois asked, growing exasperated.
“I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That’s a big deal. I needed to be sure you loved me -Clark.”
“That’s absurd.”
“Is it? I’ve seen how you look at Superman. Not so long ago you rejected me then told Superman that you’d love him even if he were an ordinary man,” Clark reminded her.
He was right. That must’ve been painful for him.
“Well…” she started, not sure how to explain it when she didn’t understand it herself.
“I know I want to be with you. But sometimes you don’t seem as sure. Especially when you slam doors in my face.”
Lois retorted, “That’s not fair! I didn’t slam them. It’s just hard for me to trust people. And your disappearing act only made it worse. It looked like you were afraid of getting closer to me. Like you were leading me on but you couldn’t commit. When I was little, I thought my parents had it all. If their marriage could fall apart, then how could I trust anyone not to break my heart?”
“So it’s okay that you didn’t trust me, but not okay when you thought I didn’t trust you?” Clark asked.
For a moment Lois Lane was tongue tied. Sensing she wasn’t going to win this argument, she switched tactics, remembering something Martha had mentioned.
“What’s this business about needing more time before you told me? How much time did you’d think I’d need? Our relationship didn’t start with our first date – you of all people should know that. Yet that’s the reference point you’re using.“ She moved closer to him. “I knew I had deeper feelings for you right before my wedding to Lex. You’re the reason I called it off.”
“Really?” His eyes brightened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I believe you interrupted me and claimed you lied about your feelings for me,” Lois reminded him.
“Oh, yeah. I did.” He paused then said, “Lois, when you were with Luther, was it hard to tell if you liked him for himself or for his power and money?”
Offended, she replied, “What does that have to do with anything? And I am NOT shallow.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I mean, if I were him, I’d wonder about that with any woman.”
“Clark, all women aren’t like that. Well, I’m not like that.”
“I’m not saying they are. I guess…” Struggling to find the words, he explained, “If I were Luther or some famous athlete or movie star or some hot shot CEO, I’d want to know that you loved me. Not the money or the power or the lifestyle. Me.”
Despite herself, she was starting to understand. “That’s not fair.”
“Could you have fallen in love me – Clark Kent, if you had known I was Superman?”
She opened then shut her mouth, painfully conscious of her former infatuation with the super hero.
“I had to know that you loved me as Clark before I could tell you. A week and a half didn’t seem like long enough for you to know that you wanted to be with me forever. It’s not the type of decision that you want to rush into.”
She begrudgingly admitted. “I suppose even Superman is allowed to be insecure.”
“Will you forgive me?”
She wanted to. She longed for their live to return to the way it had been. But it wasn’t enough.
“I will. But…I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I don’t know who you are.”
“Lois!” Clark objected. “What are you talking about? I’m still the same person! I haven’t changed.”
She stood. “I need some time.”
“Lois, please. I love you. I need you,” Clark pleaded.
“I’m so sorry, Clark.” Fighting tears, she ran from the room.
XXXX
Lying on his bed, Clark punched a pillow and inadvertently pulverized it, sending feathers flying through the room.
His father cautiously approached. “Can you blame her?”
“You don’t understand. I love her. I can’t do this alone.” He was feeling shaky enough after the rejoining. He couldn’t even begin to fathom life without her.
Jonathan cautiously sat on a chair near Clark’s bed. “I know. Just give her some time. She’s been through a lot too. She needs to process all this. Don’t rush her.”
Depressed, Clark asked, “Was it ever like this for you and Mom?”
His father chuckled. “Son, I had to propose to your mother many times before she said yes. Give her some time. And don’t push her. No matter how hard it is, it’s got to be her decision to come back.”
XXXXX
Lois had been aimlessly walking about the city. Her main goal had been to put as much space as possible between herself and Clark. Walking helped vent her frustrations.
What type of man was Clark?
How could he claim to love her and then in the next breath admit that he’d been lying to her for almost two years? Despite the validity of his arguments, she still felt violated by what he’d done. How could she trust him again, knowing he’d gone to such elaborate measures to maintain the deception?
She also felt foolish that she’d been working side by side with Superman for almost two years and hadn’t realized it. How many times had he casually used his powers to assist them? His x-ray vision to pick up a clue? Or saved her life without her even realizing it? She prided herself on being a star reporter with keen skills of observation. How could she have missed this?
And her traitorous body still ached to hold him!
What was wrong with her?
Stopping and looking about her, she noticed she was standing directly in front of The Daily Planet. Even though she hadn’t been consciously thinking about it, her feet had taken her there of their own volition. She wasn’t dressed for work or feeling like herself but anything was better than battling her feelings about Clark. The Daily Planet was her place. An environment she understood and could control. Remembering Jimmy’s phone message about the lead on Cicone, she stepped into the building with a renewed sense of purpose.
TBC
