Chapter 8
“Jimmy, I could kiss you! We’ve been trying to dig up dirt on Cicone for months. How’d you do it?” Lois’ hands were filled with computer printout that Jimmy had just handed her.
The young man blushed. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy. I had to call in some favors.”
“We’ve always suspected Cicone cut corners but we haven’t been able to prove it. Clark and I were looking for invoices that proved he’s used inadequate material but...that was…” She paused, the painful memory of the shooting distracting her. Then she forced herself to refocus, plastering a smile on her face. “This is even better.”
“Can I come with you when you question the building inspector about these mysterious deposits to his off shore bank account?”
“You bet!”
“Will CK be joining us?” Jimmy asked.
Her excitement diminished. She’d been trying not to think about Clark. It was still too confusing. “He needs…more time to recover.”
“But he’s Su…” Growing nervous, Jimmy moved closer to her and asked, “He’s okay, isn’t he? He hasn’t made any appearances since the train incident.”
Lois made a mental note to later advise Jimmy not to broach this subject in such a public place, especially The Daily Planet. She felt ashamed that her absence was most likely impeding Clark’s full recovery. The sincerity of his pleas as she fled his apartment earlier in the day was still etched in her brain.
“He’s not ready,” she said, sadly.
“But he will be. Right?”
“Right.” She insisted, though only for Jimmy’s sake.
Clark hadn’t been himself since he’d separated into two people almost a week ago. The man she’d seen a few hours ago had been a great improvement but he was weaker, and he was still struggling to regain his confidence.
Superman had to recover. They needed him too much.
“You gonna tell him about the interview? He’s been dying to crack this story,” Jimmy said.
“I don’t know,” Lois replied, cautiously.
The anonymous warning recorded on her answering machine came to mind. She’d dutifully turned the tape in to Inspector Henderson but she wasn’t expecting much. The threat concerned her, especially since they’d already tried to make good on it. But it was part of the job. She’d never have gotten anywhere with her career as an investigative reporter if she took every threat or attempt on her life to heart.
Dread filled her as she realized that Superman wouldn’t be able to back her up this time.
No wonder Clark had been so worked up when they’d searched those warehouse offices together. Without superpowers, he must’ve felt totally vulnerable, knowing he couldn’t protect her. Yet even with that staggering handicap, he’d somehow managed to save her life once again.
She couldn’t tell him about the interview, even though it would undoubtedly be dangerous. He’d worry about her and feel obligated to watch over her, possibly push himself beyond his limits. He needed time to fully recover. In some perverse sense, she didn’t want to be beholden to him either. She also didn’t want to make things any worse for him than she already had.
XXXXXX
“What happened here?” Sam Lane asked, staring at an enormous hole in the wall of Clark’s bedroom which extended nearly from floor to ceiling. Electrical wires and insulation were clearly visible. Debris still covered part of the floor.
Clark ignored him, sullenly sitting on his bed.
Jonathan carefully replied, “Controlling superpowers can be a bit tricky. It’ll come back to you, son.”
Sam cautiously approached his patient and then sat next to Clark to listen to his heart with a stethoscope.
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay. But not completely normal,” Clark answered.
“Let me examine your eyes,” Dr. Lane asked. He held a scope close to Clark’s eyes. “”I want to see how your pupils react. Look at something close by and then at an object that’s farther away.”
Clark complied, alternating his focus between Sam’s hand and a lamp shade near the bed. After doing this several times, his father yelled, “Clark!”
The lampshade had caught fire. Jonathan rushed over to smother the flames with a blanket he’d grabbed from the bed.
Discouraged, Clark covered his eyes with his hands.
“No harm done.” His father reassured everyone.
Sam Lane appeared visibly shaken.
“Let’s take a break. Get some fresh air.” Jonathan suggested, as he nervously looked towards Martha and Dr. Lane who both agreed.
Clark followed his father into the living room. Although a walk to the park would’ve been nice, all involved had agreed it would be wiser not to leave the apartment. Miracle surgery could explain Clark’s recovery from near death but not a full physical recovery in less than forty-eight hours. Outwardly, he appeared fit, yet his confidence had been battered.
After the men left, Martha turned to Sam Lane. “What’s going on?”
“Keep in mind I have no idea what normal is for him. From the point of view of a human, he’s in top physiological shape,” Sam explained.
“But he can’t control his powers yet. Could there be something physically wrong with his brain?”
“I don’t think so,” Sam answered, “I’m not seeing any obvious indicators of damage in that respect. It could be that it’s just taking some time for his synapses to adjust after the stress of the procedure.”
“That’s what he thought when this mess first started – that it would only take time for him to improve. What a disaster that was. This could be the best he’ll ever be,” Martha sadly stated.
She wasn’t one to run away from the truth. However unpleasant it might be, she needed to face this possibility.
More gently, Sam said, “Let me suggest an alternative. My daughter leaving him hasn’t helped matters. Emotionally, he’s extremely vulnerable. His confidence has been damaged. If we can build him up in that respect, it could have a significant impact on bringing him back to normal.”
XXXXX
As Clark paced about his living room, gossamer images of Superman and Clark occasionally appeared before his eyes. Standing in the kitchen. Perched on a chair in the living room. He knew no one was really there. He assumed it was due to the reintegrating of both Clark’s and Superman’s memories over the past days.
He’d felt different the moment he’d awakened after the rejoining. In addition to the problems his parents and Dr. Lane were aware of, he was also dealing with a strange tangle of emotions - being jealous of himself, feeling isolated, alone and ultimately - out of control.
And what Superman what had gone through in the media regarding mistakes he’d made? Clark had been so selfish, so unsympathetic. But now he was Clark and Superman again -experiencing the reactions of both men to the same events was bewildering.
Yet, the overall picture of the events over the past few days was growing clearer. If Clark had really listened to Superman instead of focusing only on his own concerns, perhaps they could’ve avoided the trauma the additional days of separation had caused. Clark had also been in denial regarding his own decline. But people had been far more generous towards him, willing to make excuses while Superman had been held to much higher standards. If Clark hadn’t have been shot, his mental faculties and emotional stability would’ve degenerated just as quickly as his alter-ego’s had.
And now Lois and her dad knew his secret.
He couldn’t think about that. He didn’t want to deal with it. He’d tried to explain it to her the best he could – his reasons for separating, for withholding his secret identity. Though even if things didn’t work out between them as a couple, he felt confident she’d never reveal his secret.
However, it might be a moot point.
He’d had issues with his powers in the past and had managed to deal with them. Adolescence had been doubly challenging in that respect. But…what if he never improved? What if he couldn’t regain control his powers? He couldn’t be Superman.
Or much of any man, for that matter. He’d need to isolate himself from society so he wouldn’t harm anyone, with only his parents to intercede for him.
What kind of life would that be?
He sighed deeply.
“Son…take it one day at a time.”
“It’s not looking good,” Clark glumly replied.
Jonathan cautiously stepped towards him. “From
my perspective, it’s looking fine. You’re alive. You’re relatively healthy. Let’s not get greedy. Or impatient.”
“But what if I can’t get back control over my powers?”
Earlier that day. Clark had been startled when he’d bumped the wall with his elbow while dressing and nearly brought it down. And nearly starting a fire with that lamp shade? That had also been a close call.
“I might not be able to be around people.”
Especially Lois…
Although she’d said she’d forgive him, would she take him back? When she’d left, he felt as if she’d taken his heart with her.
Did he have anything worth living for? Had his foolishness cost him everything dear to him: his powers and the love of his life?
His father chided him. “You’re getting ahead of yourself. If you can’t be Superman, then you can’t be Superman. It’s too early to be making those types of decisions anyway. A day or two could make a big difference.”
Eyes downcast, Clark mumbled, “She’s not coming back.”
“You don’t know that. Lois put an awful lot on the line for you – that means something. When you were lying in that hospital bed, she was terrified. She cares about you, son. No doubt about that. Just give her some time. She’s been through a lot. She needs to process things.”
XXXXXX
Lois hung by the doorway of Clark’s bedroom, wondering if this was a wise idea. Martha had been relaying daily updates regarding his progress but she hadn’t pressed regarding their relationship. Oddly enough, it was her father who had stopped by the Daily Planet the night before, insisting that she see Clark.
Clark was still casually dressed, in sweat pants and a t-shirt, sitting on top of his bed. His shoulders were slumped in defeat. It hurt her to see him so down. Had she singlehandedly destroyed his spirit by not standing by him? Guilt was eating away at her.
Then again, if he’d been honest with her in the first place, he could’ve avoided all this heartache.
Her father had mentioned Clark was having trouble controlling his superpowers. This might improve over time. Or it might not.
“Clark?”
“Lois,” Clark replied, straightened up on the bed upon hearing her voice.
“How are you?” she tentatively asked as she stepped into the room.
“Okay. How are you?”
She hated things being so awkward and formal between them. It wasn’t as if they were strangers. Still, she hung back. “I’m alright. I’ve been back working at the Planet. Everybody’s been asking about you. Don’t worry - Perry knows you need time to recover.”
“Are you up for working?” Clark asked, with concern.
She shrugged. “You know me – work tends to…help.” Help keep her mind off her chaotic emotions about Clark.
“What are you working on?”
When she didn’t respond, he said, with concern, “Lois…”
Why was it so hard to hide things from him? But she had to. Even though she and Jimmy were headed out to confront the corrupt building inspector later that afternoon, she couldn’t put that burden on Clark. He had enough on his plate. She’d hurt him enough already.
“Just this and that,” she lied as her eyes drifted, with alarm, towards the hole in the wall.
Clark sighed, noticing her gaze.
“I guess it’s hard controlling superpowers?” She asked, trying to keep the conversation going, knowing he might not want to discuss it. While her father didn’t comprehend the details, it was understandably a major concern for Clark.
Before all this had happened, Lois had never thought of Superman as ever having been a child or having to struggle with human issues. She’d been as guilty as the rest of the public, thinking that the Man of Steel didn’t have the same needs as she did.
“Yes,” Clark begrudgingly admitted.
Her curiosity was piqued. “How did you learn to use them in the first place? Where you born with them?”
Lois almost chuckled, suddenly imagining Martha confronting an infant Clark holding a crib more than twenty times his size, high above his head.
“They didn’t fully manifest themselves until I was a teenager,” Clark explained.
Those times were hard enough for an average teen. Talk about a double whammy.
“How did you handle it?” Lois asked.
“Mom and Dad helped me develop my control. It took time. And lots of discipline.”
“Guess you’ll need to go that route again.” Without time to fully consider her words, she said, “I could help you with that. If you want…” She hastily added. It was the least she could do.
He seemed genuinely pleased by her offer. “Thanks. That would be…nice. But I’m not ready. And I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”
“How do you know you’re not ready unless you try?” Lois challenged him.
Gesturing to the damaged lamp shade, Clark replied, “Believe me, I’m not ready.”
Never one to give up, Lois stubbornly replied, “Let’s try anyway.”
Even though she wasn’t ready to commit to their future as a couple, she was determined to encourage Clark as a friend. She couldn’t leave him like this. Her father had sounded so convincing. If she could restore his confidence, even a little, it could be huge. Superman had been off the street for days and the criminal element had noticed. Their activity was on the upswing. Regardless of her feelings about Clark, the world needed Superman.
Even though Clark wasn’t enthusiastic, she plowed ahead. “What do you want to try? Your x-ray vision?”
“No!”
“How about your strength? That’s it!” She lay down across the foot of the bed, arms by her side, facing the ceiling. “Try lifting me.”
“No.” He replied, uncomfortably.
“Why not?”
Becoming more agitated, he replied, “You don’t understand the consequences. What if I drop you or use too much force and send you crashing into the ceiling? What if I can’t control my grip and I crush your bones? I can’t take that chance.”
“I’m willing.” Lois didn’t budge.
“I’m not.”
His refusal was both sweet and exasperating.
“C’mon, Clark. I trust you. Do it over the bed so if I fall, I’ll land on the mattress. I’ll be fine.”
Obviously conflicted, Clark replied, “I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know that.” Lois was growing both impatient and anxious. If he didn’t move soon, she might lose her nerve. Every moment that passed as he hesitated, she wondered. What if she did crash into the ceiling? Images of herself in traction popped into her mind.
“I’m not ready,” Clark said, sadly, with a sense of finality.
Lois wasn’t going to let him give up. “There’s never going to be a good time. C’mon!”
She closed her eyes, willing herself to relax. As the minutes dragged by, she worried that this wasn’t such a good idea. She’d seen Superman plow into that lamp post a few nights ago. Even though it was made of iron, it lay mangled in pieces on the ground.
Yet a man’s confidence was fragile. It needed to be fostered, to be nurtured. If Superman were ever to return from the ashes, he’d have to start somewhere. He’d saved so many people, performed so many heroic deeds. If Clark could take a bullet for her, she could certainly suffer a few bruises (or broken bones) for him.
Sensing she wasn’t going to leave unless he tried, Clark tentatively put his palms beneath her body.
“Good. See – no problem. Take it one step at a time.” She carefully modulated her voice, trying to convince herself as well as him.
His hands were positioned; she could feel them beneath her. She could hear his breathing growing more raged as he concentrated.
“Try for an inch – not a lot.” That might prevent…accidents.
When she realized she was holding her breath, she willed herself to breathe normally, calmly. If she didn’t believe in Clark, why should he?
“You can do it,” she assured him.
Painfully slow, he moved his hands. She was no longer on the mattress.
“You’re doing it!”
Her body was several inches above the bed when he panicked, removing his hands. She fell onto the bed with a thud.
“Oh my God! I’m sorry! Are you okay?” Clark asked.
“I’m fine.” The wind had been knocked out of her but her fall had been cushioned by the mattress. Lois was encouraged. “It’s a start – don’t you think?”
He shrugged, now sitting beside her on the edge of the bed.
Trying to cheer him up, she said, “Sure it is. I didn’t go flying through the ceiling or crashing into the basement.”
“That’s true.”
“You know, Clark, it takes more than super powers to be a super hero,” Lois said.
It was hard sitting so near to him. The urge to cradle him in her arms or push back that stray lock of hair from his forehead was strong, threatening to undermine her control. It was almost irresistible. What would be the harm?
Yet the hurt caused by his deception was still fresh. As tempting as it was to touch Clark, she wasn’t ready to cross that line.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Look at Resplendent Man, and Johnny Corbin. They had superpowers and only used them for personal gain. What did it get them? It’s not just having powers that makes you super. It’s how you use them.”
Growing more frustrated, Clark asked, “How I am supposed to help people if I can’t control my powers?”
Slightly annoyed, Lois retorted, “I don’t have superpowers. Am I a waste of a human being?”
She wasn’t used to seeing Clark feeling sorry for himself. But in all fairness, he had been through a lot.
“Of course not!”
She couldn’t help herself; she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“Don’t think about forever. Don’t think about not being Superman. Think about right now. One day at a time. Can you do that?”
“I’ll try.”
How had they gotten so close to each other?
Her breath caught in her throat. Their faces were now only inches apart. If he bent forward to kiss her, she wasn’t sure if she could resist. She hadn’t touched Clark in any manner since the rejoining. She’d never even gotten to close enough hold him to celebrate that he’d survived that bizarre procedure.
Lois was so tired of the conflicting emotions warring within her. If Clark moved just an inch or two closer to her, if he kissed her, the decision she’d been struggling with would be made for her. Strangely enough, as much as she loved her independence, at that particular moment, she no longer cared.
She scanned his eyes. He wanted her as badly as she wanted him. What was he waiting for?
After a moment, he stood and moved away from the bed.
What was going on? Why had he done that?
“Lois?” he asked, more seriously.
Oh no. Did he want to talk about their relationship instead? Her temples throbbed at that thought.
“Yes?”
She wasn’t up to arguing with him. She didn’t have the energy.
“I’ve missed you.”
Somewhat surprised, she replied, “I’ve…missed you too.” She had to change the subject or she’d do something she might regret. “Why don’t you try lifting me again?”
XXXXXXX
Lois should’ve known the lead was too good to be true. If she hadn’t been so worn out and distracted by her emotional turmoil over Clark, she would’ve caught on. It was a setup and she and Jimmy had walked right into it. Despite the fact that they’d set up an appointment in advance, Building inspector Haron hadn’t been home. Cicone’s men had been waiting to ambush them when they’d stepped on the porch to ring the doorbell. Presently, she and Jimmy were bound, gagged, and crammed into the trunk of a car that reeked of gasoline.
As they bounced along in the trunk, she listened carefully, trying to get her bearings. The increase in the vehicle’s speed plus louder sounding truck engines outside the car, suggested that they’d left the city and were currently driving on the Interstate.
Where were they taking them?
What would they do to them?
She was scared to think about it. They’d already tried shooting her and look at what happened to poor Clark.
Would she ever see him again?
She fervently wished she’d given into her impulse to kiss him or at least hold him when she’d seen him a few hours ago. Why had she been so stubborn, clinging to her pride?
His lies had deeply wounded her. Yet just today, she’d lied to him. For a good reason, she rationalized - to protect him. To keep him from worrying or getting harmed in a potentially dangerous situation. If he’d known she might be putting herself in Cicone’s path, it would’ve been impossible to keep him away.
That was sounding familiar. Wasn’t that why Clark had lied about his secret identity for so long? To protect her?
After the vehicle stopped and the trunk was opened, she panicked, hearing waves pounding against a dock. She and Jimmy were unceremoniously dumped onto the wooden planks. Their gags were loosened.
“Superman!” Jimmy hoarsely rasped. The poor kid was terrified. “Superman!” he shouted louder.
The thugs laughed as Lois sadly shook her head towards Jimmy. While they were presumably on the outskirts of town and possibly within range of Superman’s hearing, Clark was in no shape to save them. It would be far too risky for him to attempt flying. She hated squelching Jimmy’s hope.
Why had she gotten him into this mess in the first place?
“Haven’t seen that guy in a while,” one of the men sneered.
“Let Superman come. With his current track record, he might screw it up and do us a favor!” another man joked.
Lois’ temper flared but she kept her mouth shut. She was beat but she wasn’t about to give these goons the satisfaction.
Two men brought over a large wooden crate while the gentleman who attempted to shoot her approached.
“You couldn’t stop snooping around. Even after your boyfriend got shot.”
With more bravado then she felt, she replied, “What you’re doing is wrong. People are going to get hurt. Those buildings aren’t safe!”
He chuckled. “I fail to see the problem here. Mr. Cicone’s business ventures are highly profitable and his investors are pleased. Too bad no one will ever hear your sad tale. Mr. Cicone intends to make an example of you. You haven’t listened to his warnings. You’ve been like a pit bull, never giving up, so we set you up, planting incriminating information, knowing you couldn’t resist the bait. After our associate Mr. Haron informed us that you contacted him, it was simply a matter of waiting.”
Jimmy’s terrified eyes implored Lois.
“Let him go. He’s got nothing to do with this. Your quarrel is with me,” Lois begged.
“Nice try. But he knows too much.”
Lois braced herself as one of the men picked her up and threw her into the wooden crate. Her body ached upon impact. Her wrist throbbed and a sharp pain in her ribs grew more intense when Jimmy landed on top of her.
“Are you okay?” Lois asked.
“I guess,” Jimmy answered, filled with fear.
Rocks the size of bowling balls were thrown into the box.
“Ow!”
“My arm!” Jimmy cried when several rocks landed on him.
Lois gritted her teeth and braced herself as more rocks were added to the crate, praying none would hit her on the head. Then the lid was sealed, leaving them in the semi-darkness, only faint beams of light creeping through small cracks between the planks.
“Help! Superman, help!” Jimmy screamed.
Fortunately, Lois’ head was close to him so she could whisper to him without fear of being overheard by the criminals. “It’s no use. He can’t control his powers yet. He’d never be able to get here safely. I’m so sorry I got you into this, Jimmy.”
“I’m too young to die!” Jimmy cried.
Lois felt that way herself. She hadn’t even written a will -not that she had much to leave behind. Her highly prized Kerth awards would only gather dust in her absence. Her death would devastate her parents, just when she and her father had started to reconnect.
What had she accomplished during her life? Had she made a difference with her hard hitting news articles? She’d like to think that she had. Yet with imminent death facing her, she couldn’t remember a single article she’d written. All she could think about was Clark and how much she loved him.
She and Jimmy struggled to loosen their bonds, but they were crammed in too tightly and unable to maneuver. Bile crept up in Lois’ throat as she felt the crate being dragged presumably towards the edge of the dock by the river. Even if the extra weight of the stones didn’t cause them to immediately sink to the bottom, as water filtered through the cracks in the crate, she and Jimmy would slowly drown.
Why hadn’t she told Clark that she loved him?
Even though she wasn’t sure if she wanted get back together with him, that fact was undeniable. If her bloated lifeless body were found at the bottom at Lake Arrow, he would never know how she felt about him.
And she desperately wanted him to know.
She quietly whispered the words, foolishly hoping that he might hear.
I love you, Clark.
“It’s been great working with you, Lois,” Jimmy whispered.
“You too, Jimmy.”
A loud noise followed by a tremendous splash frightened them. Then they realized it hadn’t been them. The crate hadn’t moved.
“What was that?” Jimmy asked Lois.
Lois shouted, “Help us!”
Voices were raised but with the lid shut, it was difficult to make out what they were saying.
Jimmy panicked, hearing more loud splashes. “No!”
Then the side of the crate was broken, letting light in.
“Jimmy! Lois!”
It was…Superman!
Lois had never been so relieved to see him.
“Are you two okay?” Superman asked.
As the Man of Steel removed the rocks from the crate to ease them from their prison, Lois cried, “What are you doing? You’re not ready for this. You could’ve been killed!”
His second attempt at lifting her in his apartment had been successful – raising her body several feet off the ground, but that was a far sight from flying.
“I had to come, Lois. I didn’t have a choice. I can’t live without you,” Superman replied.
“But…how did you know?” Jimmy asked.
“I heard you.” Superman answered. Giving Lois a significant look, he added, “Both of you.”
Superman carefully removed Jimmy from the crate and laid him on the dock.
“Ow!” the boy cried. “My arm!”
“You could’ve been killed!” Lois cried, not sure if she should be happy or angry that Clark risked his life once again for her.
Lois noticed the car they’d used to get there was missing. There was a huge furrow nearby, suggesting Superman ran into it as he landed. The first splash must’ve been the vehicle hitting the water.
“Where are Cicone’s men?” Lois asked as Superman lifted her from the crate.
“Um…in the river. I…didn’t want to harm them by mistake.” He started loosening Lois’ bounds. “Are you okay?”
Most likely she’d broken her wrist and damaged some ribs, yet she didn’t notice as Clark had fully captivated her attention. She studied him - for the first time, seeing parts of Clark in Superman, and a burst of awe filled her. What she admired about Superman had always been in Clark. She was shocked that she hadn’t caught on before.
Both Clark and Superman always did what was right – even at tremendous personal cost. Clark’s decision to split himself into two entities, no matter how insane it had sounded, hadn’t been motivated by purely selfish reasons. Clark could’ve chosen not to rescue people while he was with her, keeping his secret safe and their relationship secure. But that wasn’t who he was.
Earlier in the day it had confused her when he didn’t kiss her. Now she realized that he’d wanted her to make her own decision to return to him. He hadn’t wanted to influence her and he’d understood that she hadn’t been ready then.
What Clark said during their previous conversation about his reasons for separating was true, there was just more to it. And she’d finally figured it out.
After Superman had removed their restraints, Jimmy wandered off in search of a phone at the dock house to inform the police about Cicone’s henchmen drifting down the river.
Lois turned to Clark and asked him, “Why did you do it? Why did you separate yourself into two people?” Although she now knew the answer, she wanted to hear him say it.
“If I split myself in half, I could have you and the world could have Superman. No one would suffer. Everyone would win. It just didn’t work the way I hoped it would,” he sheepishly replied.
Lois put her arms around his neck. “I like this way much better.”
Then she kissed him soundly on the lips.
“Does that mean we’re a couple again?” Clark asked, hopefully.
“Yeah,” Lois grinned. “Hey-how’d you do it? You were improving this afternoon but not this much.”
“When I heard Jimmy calling, I knew I had to come. I’ll be honest, I was struggling. I could easily put on the suit but I was scared to fly. I was standing on the balcony, about to take off. Then I heard what you said. You helped me believe and I finally felt like myself. And by the way, I love you too,” Superman said, kissing Lois passionately before she had a chance to respond.
“Superman- oops!” Jimmy reappeared, right as the couple started kissing. When they continued, completely oblivious to their young friend, he mumbled, “Maybe I’d better call a cab.”
THE END
