Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK Frigid (1/1)

Hope you liked it.

As always, feedback appreciated!

Beautiful story! I love that it moved from an introspective character piece to a revelation story--and I love that you made clear that both of them were isolated by their insecurities and vulnerabilities.

The parallels between Superman's warmth--of the sun--and Clark's--like a comfortable sweater--were very well-drawn. I loved the slow process as Lois realized they were one and the same.

The conversation over the phone was very painful; I could just see both of their expressions as they spoke so slowly and tortuously.

And the ending was perfect! I love that she moved to take his glasses and asked if he trusted her. And I love how he asked her what she was doing to him!

Great story! I loved it!

WOW! Just wow! That was pretty incredible! There are just sooooo many good lines in this. And I LOVE the reasons behind why Lois slept with Claude. I've never seen it presented quite like this before.

Like Anti-K said, I love how it was at first an introspective piece, but then it morphed to include revelations.

Just a few favorite lines/images:

And the entire ending.

Oh wow, this was amazing ! You packed such a powerful punch in so few words - FABULOUS. Loved every word of it!

Well done. I really liked this. I loved Clark's nervousness at her touching his glasses, his hesitancy during the phone conversation, his realization that she loved him -- all of him.

Very sweet.

Hi,

I've been too busy to keep up with the MBs, but I
thought I'd take a chance and read a short.

I'm so glad I did.

This was so Lois and Clark, so lovely and very well written.

Note to self. Read more shorts!

Yours Jenni

Well done, very well done.

Wow! I'm overwhelmed by your kind words. This story just sort of flowed out of me... I had had a start of one on my hard drive for a long time dealing with the night Superman rejects Lois, yet something was missing and it didn't seem to work. And then when I started on this, I took parts from the other story and it just fit. I still think I need to edit it a bit more before it goes to the archive, but I'm humbled by your response!

Thank you!!

Hi MozartMaid,

I really like how you captured Lois's insecurities and how you made sense of the way she kept shooting herself in the foot in the romance department.

I know you value all feedback, so I'll tell you the negative, as well: I'm afraid the ending didn't work for me. It didn't seem to me to be true to Clark's character. I would think that Clark would close himself off, at least at first, fearing that despite her words, she didn't really love Clark for himself, but only because he was also Superman. After she had just rejected Clark and thrown herself at Superman, for her to do such an about-face just when she had figured his secret out would be sure to set all sorts of warning bells off in Clark's head. Sorry about that. To judge by the other feedback, I am obviously very much in the minority here.

But even so, I did enjoy your story. It was an excellent study of Lois' psyche.

Joy,
Lynn

lovely.

Loved seeing how Lois put the pieces together.

I especially liked this line:

Nice job!

Joan

Loved it too!

Lovely piece! /me melts.

Andreia

Lovely, just lovely. I really enjoyed it.

Artemis

Very well done. Although I, too, had concerns about what Clark's reaction would be, I don't find the one you chose unbelievable. I think people can surprise us and themselves, and maybe Clark saw something in Lois that caused him to believe her to be sincere. She was, after all. In the end, she saw that she needed the ordinary man, not the unattainable hero. Great insight into Lois's self-assessment. I loved her insight that she'd been missing something vital about Superman, and that his vulnerability in that painful conversation was the key to understanding him. Delightful story!

Awww sweet story. I am glad Clark seemed to believe her. Nice job! Laura

Glad to see you posted! I knew this had to see the light of day - ASAP. Obviously others feel the same way.

Excellent vignette.

Thank you all for the lovely feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

And I appreciate your FDK Lynn:
I see where you are coming from, but realize that his story was from Lois' POV. The ending was what she was feeling/realizing. It could be very plausible that after that last kiss, Clark could turn to her and say... 'Okay, that's all well and good... but we need to talk before we can move on.' If you look at the ending again, Clark didn't respond--except with a kiss. We know he loves her, but that doesn't mean he still wouldn't feel his own insecurities on the matter. But I didn't want to interrupt the poetical symmetry I was trying to create by contrasting the coldness Lois felt at the beginning with the warmth felt at the end. The point of the story was Lois understanding that she was worthy of love, and realizing who was the source of that validation.

Thanks for reading!

Hi MozartMaid,

Thanks for the explanation.

And please let me take the opportunity to reiterate that, despite my difficulties with that one part, I did very much enjoy reading your story.

Joy,
Lynn

Wow, I never expected a WAFFy revelation after the title and the opening gambit.

True. She could do that. Isn't that a fulltime job, actually?

Now, that could be fun. Clark having to help Lois discover Superman's identity

Did I already mention warm and fuzzy?

Michael