Zara escorted the four back to their living quarters. They were all silent; lost in their own thoughts as they each fretted about the plan.
The plan was for both men to learn how to become indistinguishable from the self-styled Lord Kal-El. They would study recordings of him and be tutored by Kryptonian resistance members well versed in how Lord Kal-El acted and carried himself down to the very ugly last detail.
Then the resistance would have the means to infiltrate the stasis chamber, given that the clone did regularly visit it's progenitor. The infiltrator would not arouse suspicion by visiting the chamber and would be able to gather intelligence on how to free the real Kal-El from his confinement.
The plan sounded reasonable, but there were many horrifying components to it and all involved were deeply troubled.
The four doppelgangers were troubled by the idea that the two Clarks would have to behave in a way that would horrify just about everyone, Lois being the one most troubling to both men. And the resistance members had openly expressed their fear about having to bear any kind of witness to their 'act', given that many of them had been directly harmed by Lord Kal-El.
Secretly, the resistance members feared that both men would gain an appetite for how it felt to be like Lord Kal-El and to evoke fear in everyone who crossed their paths. What if once they tried it, they found that they liked that feeling of absolute power and control? Zara had pointed out that they already had the potential for feeling that way and had never shown any interest in pursuing that kind of behavior, but still the fear remained.
Despite all the fears, the plan had a high probability for success because Kal-El wouldn't have to explain his presence in the chamber and might even be able to demand time alone with his progenitor giving him the opportunity to free this world's Kal-El unnoticed. That opportunity had to be taken, no matter what the risk.
And now, the four doppelgangers brooded over the heavy task ahead, all of them afraid to talk to each other about their deepest fears.
Zara felt herself overwhelmed with gratitude, sympathy and guilt for what they were going through and she wasn't afraid to voice it.
"We can't thank you enough," she told them quietly. "I'm sorry for all the pain you're going to feel doing this."
"I didn't want to ask this in front of the rest of them," said Clark, "But is it possible for us to avoid most people while we do this?"
"You mean avoid me," said Lois, facing him directly.
"Yes. And others too," said Kent. "Anyone who's dealt with this creep doesn't need to watch us attempt to fool people into thinking we're him. I know for a fact I won't be able to do it with an audience of people that I know have been traumatized by the bastard."
"Including me," Zara asked him trying to ascertain how difficult a job training these two would be.
Kent's expression radiated sorrow as he looked at this woman who had suffered so much.
"Obviously we can't avoid you while in character," he said. "You're the one Kryptonian resistance member who knows the most about how he behaves. I'm very sorry for any pain you experience during all of this."
She gave him a small smile.
"It's not for you to apologize. You did nothing wrong. You're the one who's hurting and we're the ones hurting you. I just wanted to know if you would balk at working with me."
"Try to imagine you're actors. Actors sometimes have to act out terrible things," said Lois softly.
"Many of them suffer as a result," said Lane. "I know I've interviewed actors who have been suicidal after undertaking certain roles. I can't imagine it's as easy as saying 'it's all pretend'."
"Of course not," Lois said without any rancor. "I didn't mean to imply that I thought it was. I'll stay out of the way when you're 'in character'," she said, unable to even mention Lord Kal-El's name. "Under the condition that you promise not to worry too much about betraying me by learning to act like him. I know you two well enough to know that's how you see this."
Clark nodded, but his eyes shone with misery. She grabbed his hand lovingly, feeling funny about showing too much affection in front of Zara.
"We can get through this. The sooner we free Kal-El, the sooner this nightmare ends and we go home. I want to be home more than you can imagine. So think about it this way- the faster you learn to do this, the quicker you are to getting me what I most want. It's a heroic thing you've signed on for even if it feels horrific."
Kent shook his head and gave her a smile that said he knew exactly what she was doing.
"Laugh all you want, but it's true. So stop wallowing in guilt already because you're bringing the rest of us down. It's unproductive."
"Yeah. What she said," said Lane, her eyes flashing with her support for the two men. "And anyone who tries to put you down for this can deal with me."
"Well, they're entitled to how the feel," said Clark. "Could I say I'd feel any different in their shoes?"
"Okay. But nobody mess with my boys."
"Your *boys*," asked Lois, lifting her eyebrow. "Aren't they men? And isn't one of them mine?"
Lane gave her a grin. "I guess I can share."
Zara watched the two women try to ease the tension by alternately scolding and teasing the two men. This was a pattern of behavior she'd seen repeatedly amongst the four of them. They seemed perfectly in tune to each other and well able to talk each other out of incipient despair. She saw how much a leader Lois Lane truly was in all three variations, and as far as the two Kal-Els they each would have done an admirable job leading the new Kryptonians. Being around the two men gave her hope for who her true mate would have turned out to be and could even still turn out to be.
"I will take leave of you all now," she said softly breaking into the tightly bound camaraderie. She felt like an outsider, as she did most of the time, but the love that existed between these four made her yearn for the love she had never been able to have with Ching.
"Where will you go," asked Clark, concerned by the darkness in her gaze.
"I have to go to my home. To him."
"You go back every night?"
"I don't spend so much time here as you might think. It would be suspicious if I was never around."
Lois nodded, unaware she was doing it. She had seen a lot of Zara during her imprisonment.
"Is it safe for you," pressed Clark, unable to stop being worried for her.
"My well being can't concern you," she reminded him, saddened by her own harsh tone, but unable to deal with his protectiveness right now.
"It does concern us," said Kent.
"I know that you need me to -"
"No. It concerns us that you have to go back home to that creature," said Lane. "We hate the idea of it and it *is* okay for someone to worry about you."
"I have a duty that's owed to earth. I cannot afford to worry about my own well being. Do not fret for me, Lois. I will be okay."
They all had questions for her - questions about her life, and what she could expect from her interactions with the clone. Did he leave her alone, or was she forced to deal with his physical cruelty? But these were questions that they knew they couldn't ask and so they graciously bade her farewell.
Zara left feeling heavy in her heart. Each exposure to the Clarks left her longing for both her intended mate and her bodyguard Ching. She began to wonder about what the future held for her - for the first time she began to see a potential for a kind of contentment. Would she still be Kal-El's wife having been bound to him at birth? Or would she somehow be able to live out her days with the man she loved? She shook her head, angry with herself. Despite what they said to her, she couldn't be self-indulgent. Not even in her dreams.
