/clears throat nervously
Ready? I'm sorry it took so long.
Previously:
Lois stumbled as she realized that Clark's secret was what exactly what he had been trying to tell her for the past week. He was willing to trust her, quite literally, with his life. She had been indirectly right the first time she tried to guess what he had to tell her. There could only be one reason Clark would go that far - he loved her. Telling her his secret was far more binding than any declaration of love. Telling her meant he saw them together forever.
She looked up but the sky above her was still empty. There wasn't even a cloud in sight.
Should she tell him that she knew? Or should she wait and see if he still wanted to trust her with his secret?
<><><>
Two sets of railroad tracks split in the town; one going north and the other going west. He followed the northbound tracks, but after several miles, he still hadn't seen an abandoned railcar. Had Sadler lied? Clark circled back to follow the westbound tracks. A few miles out of town he saw a railcar on a shunted line.
The only sound coming from the railcar was the ticking of a watch. Sadler hadn't lied. Lois was dead.
Clark fell from the sky, dizzy with grief as he realized he was going to find Lois' body inside. How much had she suffered? He wasn't sure he could bear knowing. Clark didn't bother with the lock; he simply ripped the door off and tossed it away.
The rail car was empty.
It looked like a small bomb had gone off. There were hundreds of splinters of wood, a couple of pieces of popcorn, a woman's wristwatch, and a hole that looked like it was the right size for Lois slip through.
After a moment of stunned surprise, Clark couldn't help laughing in exhausted relief. Lois had escaped. Sadler had no idea who he was messing with. If anyone could free themselves from a locked train car on sheer dint of will, it was Lois Lane.
Clark turned in a circle. Where had she gone? She probably wouldn't have followed the road in case Sadler came back. He scanned the tracks but couldn't tell which way she had gone. She must not have gone east or he would have seen her already. He closed his eyes and listened intently but couldn't hear her. Clark lifted into the air and began to follow the tracks west. Please, he prayed, please let me find her. Let her be okay.
… And then he heard it - the faint, familiar cadence that he had spent days trying to locate. In the space of two heartbeats he closed the distance between them to land in front of her. He had never felt this happy and it was impossible to come up with the words to tell her how overjoyed he was to see her. Instead, he pulled her close against him in a tight hug as he said her name over and over in a fierce whisper.
"It, it, it's you," Lois sputtered, pushing against his chest so she could tilt her head back to look up at him. "It's really you, isn't it?"<><><>
The Other Shoe 10/10
<><><>
Monday afternoon
<><><>
It took a few seconds for Lois to process what was happening. One moment she had been grimly trudging forward and, in the next, she was caught up in a tight embrace while a familiar voice crooned her name. Startled, she acted on instinct and tried to push away to see who had her even as her brain registered the oh-so-identifiable primary colors of his Suit. Her lips began to form the name – 'Superman!' - only that wasn't really his name, was it? Instead she blurted out, "It, it, it's you. It's really you, isn't it?"
"Are you okay?" he asked, smoothing her hair back so he could see her face. "Did he hurt you?"
Lois' arms and legs began to shake and the 'S' on his chest blurred as unexpected tears of happiness filled her eyes. He was really there! Her ordeal was over.
"I'm f, f, fine," she choked out in a shaky stutter. Her numb fingers let go of the tattered blanket she'd been carrying and it dropped to the ground, puddling around her ankles.
"Are you cold? You're shaking." He gently rubbed her shoulders, as if to warm her up.
"Am I?" Lois started to pat the 'S' but then stopped herself, feeling suddenly self-conscious to be touching him. "I can’t believe you’re here. I can't believe it's really you."
He gave her one of his most dazzling smiles. "You had to know I was looking for you."
"I did. I knew you would. I've been watching the sky and – wow – here you are. Gosh, look at you." She peered up at him, feeling like she was seeing him clearly for the first time ever. Gone was the aloof mask of Superman, replaced by an expression of joy and relief that he wasn't even trying to hide. He was unshaven; his cheeks and chin were dark with stubble. His hair looked like it hadn't been combed in a couple of days. Had he really been flying around Metropolis looking like this?
He lowered his head, touching his forehead to hers. "I thought I'd lost you forever," he whispered.
Lois closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the emotion in his voice. Without the supersuit distracting her, the simple, sweet familiarity of this moment came into focus. Nearly every date with Clark had ended just like this, with him whispering one last goodbye before reluctantly leaving her. Only this time he wasn't about to leave her; he was there to bring her home.
"Thank you for finding me," she murmured.
"You're welcome." His head lifted and his hands cupped her cheeks as he looked at her as though he were trying to memorize her face. "You're more than welcome." He shook his head in amazed happiness. "You're alive. Thank you for being alive."
"You thought I was dead?"
His fingers tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "The man who took you said he'd killed you. That he'd hurt you…"
In an instant Lois understood just how hellish the past few days must have been for him. She remembered all too well the frantic hours she had spent searching for Clark after Johnny Corben had kidnapped him right in front of her. How much worse would it have been if he had been missing for days without a clue? How much more devastated would she have been if Corben had told her that Clark was dead?
His thumb brushed over her cheek, a feather-light caress that belied the strength his hand possessed. "Lois, I--. I know this is probably not the best time, but I really need to tell you something."
Her heart seemed to stutter in her chest as she realized what he was going to say; how completely he was about to trust her. She opened her mouth to tell him that she already knew but his eyes were so dark and serious that she was transfixed into silence.
"I--, uh. I tried to tell you this before, but it just never seemed to work out." His hands dropped from her face as he swallowed hard. "I've never told anyone this before..."
"Really?" she blurted out in astonishment. "No one? Ever?"
He paused and his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What?"
"Your parents know, though, right?"
"My parents?" he echoed. He took a step backward, running one hand nervously through his hair. "My parents, uh--."
"I'm sorry! Clark, I'm so sorry." Lois covered her mouth with one hand but couldn't seem to stop herself from talking. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Go on with what you were—oh. Oh gosh. Sorry." She sputtered into speechlessness as she realized she had inadvertently said his name.
Clark froze, staring at her in stunned silence as all color seemed to leave his face. After a few seconds he cleared his throat and quietly asked, "How long have you known?"
"Since this morning," she managed to whisper. The realization sank in that he wasn't denying it. As certain as she had been about Superman's true identity, it was still a shock to know she was right. "I guess you could say I had an epiphany."
Clark made a sound that was almost a laugh and took another nervous swipe at his hair. They eyed each other uncertainly for several long seconds and then he let out a shaky exhale. "How angry are you?"
"You think I'm angry?" She stared at him, aghast that he would think she'd be that petty.
His cheeks colored and he nudged a pebble with the toe of his boot. "I just thought you might--."
"Wow," she murmured, still taken aback. A flicker of anger shot through her that he could misjudge her so completely. "Give me some credit! Not everything is a story to me! I mean, yeah, sure, when we first met Superman was more of a story than a friend. But I would never have exposed you just because I could. At least, I don't think I would have. Did you think I would?"
Clark shrugged and looked away. "Maybe," he said softly. "When I first became Superman you were pretty relentless." He looked her in the eye and she could see the past hurts she had inflicted. "I couldn't take that risk. Not back then. And now, after all the lies I told you, I wasn't sure you'd forgive me."
"So why--?" Lois hesitated and then plunged ahead. She had to know the answer to this one. "Why take the risk at all?"
Please, her mind urged him. Tell me it's because you love me. Tell me it's because you trust me. Tell me it's because you want me that close to you.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You trusted me first." His eyes opened, looking deeply into hers. "Once I realized that, I couldn't lie to you anymore."
"I trusted you first? With what?" Lois wracked her brain, but couldn't think of any secrets she had spilled to him.
"With you." He smiled at her. "Just you. You stopped putting up walls whenever we were alone together and you would just be you. Did you really not recognize that you were doing that?"
"That's what people do, Clark, when they're in a relationship."
"I never thought I'd see you that way. When we first met, I honestly didn't think anyone would ever see you that way."
Lois glanced at the 'S' on his chest. "Superman did."
"That's not the same thing at all."
"I know." Lois sighed and looked down at her bare toes. "I know what you're saying. And you're right. I never intended to let you – or anyone – in. I don't know how it happened."
"But it did happen." He sounded as though he still didn't quite believe it.
She met his eyes again. "Yeah."
He gave her a shy smile. "For what it's worth, your disguise is probably much better than mine."
Lois shrugged. It couldn't have been too great a disguise if he had seen through it so easily.
He smoothed his hair back again, almost getting it to the slick 'do she normally associated with Superman. "So, um, what gave me away?"
"Nuclear disarmament." Lois smacked the 'S' lightly in mock-irritation. "What in the world were you thinking, throwing the phrase game for me?"
Clark ducked his head. "I overheard Randy Egan pumping the hospital's publicist for details on her speech. It was obvious that he was going to cheat, so I beat him at his own game. If you hadn't shown up out of the blue like that, I was going to give it to Sam Price from the Post. He was muttering about having drawn 'labor dispute' as his phrase."
"Oh," she whispered as a surge of disappointment shot through her. It had been much more exciting when she thought that Superman had compromised his principles solely for her. "Well… thanks for choosing me to flirt with instead of Sam Price."
He fought a smile and shook his head slightly. "I wasn't going to flirt with Sam. I wasn't intending to flirt with you either, but when we ended up alone, well, I was working up to telling you the truth."
"At a press conference? You couldn't find a better place to tell me?"
"I promised you I was going to tell you everything the next time I saw you."
"What?" Her forehead furrowed in confusion. "When did you promise me that?"
He gave her a nervous smile. "Thursday night. I came back to talk to you but you were asleep. I almost knocked on your window to wake you up, but I chickened out."
"Knock on my window?" Lois stared at him as another puzzle piece fell into place. "That's how you knew which side of the bed I sleep on? Just how many times have you been outside my bedroom window?"
His cheeks flushed. "I check on you sometimes -- but only if I'm near your neighborhood. I'll fly past and listen for you. I only peek inside if you leave the blinds open. I swear it's not like I hover out there and watch you sleep or anything. It's just a glance."
Lois gaped at him, not knowing what to say. It was astonishing enough to find out that her boyfriend was Superman. It was mind-boggling to think that he had used his superpowers to check on her. Lois cringed inwardly as she realized she probably shared some of the blame. She had known perfectly well that there was a man flying around Metropolis who favored her windows. That was most of the reason she had traded the oversized t-shirts she used to wear to bed for short silky nighties that left a lot of skin on display. How many nights had she hoped that he would fly by and see her?
And he had! He actually had! Lois suddenly felt torn between elation that she had been right about Superman's crush on her and the strangely hollow let-down that her fantasies had been centered on her best friend and not some unobtainable demi-god. In the next second her breath caught at the realization that her best friend was really, truly, actually Superman.
"I'm sorry," Clark said earnestly. "Lois, I'm so sorry. I promise it will never happen--."
"I knew," she admitted softly. "Or I kinda hoped that maybe you would come by. I mean, I didn't know it was
you, but I knew Superman was out there and sometimes I did leave the blinds open for him. I guess I was sorta trying to… seduce you. Lois blushed furiously at how much she had just revealed.
Clark's eyes widened and his jaw worked a little but no words came out.
"So you didn't actually see me, did you?" she asked anxiously when he still didn't say anything. "I mean, if you were just glancing then you didn't really see me. Right?" Or what I was wearing, she mentally added. It would be miraculous if she managed to come out of this conversation with just a little dignity still intact.
Clark blushed and swallowed hard. "There was this one time." He paused to clear his throat. "You fell asleep on top of the covers and you were wearing this black, uh, black teddy. I almost flew into the wall." He gave her a hopeful little grin. "You did that on purpose?"
It was her turn to blush again. "Maybe," she admitted. She let out a little giggle at the thought of Superman so distracted that he flew into her building.
Clark laughed with her and his smile turned teasing as he said, "I wish I'd known you wanted me to look…"
Even knowing that it was Clark wearing the Suit, Lois still felt flustered to have him flirting with her. "I didn't know it was you," she rushed to explain. "I would have done a lot of things differently if I had known it was you."
"Like what?"
She rolled her eyes. "God, just about everything."
"Do you know what I would do differently?"
"What?"
"This." His hands settled on her hips, urging her to move close against him. "I've always wanted to fly with you this way."
He was so much taller than her, especially now that she wasn't wearing any shoes. "What? Just—" Lois' hands fluttered up his biceps to illustrate vertical flight. "Whoosh?"
"I could get you home a lot faster this way," he explained, taking hold of the ends of his cape to pull it closed around her. "Okay?"
"Oh. Sure. Yeah, okay." Lois instinctively wrapped her arms around him as her world narrowed to only the solid length of his body against hers and the scarlet-tinged tent encircling her. She had taken liberties with Superman before - stealing a kiss or letting her hands linger a few seconds longer than was polite - but this was the first time she had ever touched Superman beneath his cape. All those heated kisses she had shared with Clark had never felt as intimate as this moment. Her cheek came to rest against the rapid beat of his heart beneath the thin, slick material of the Suit.
"Ready?" he murmured.
Speechless, Lois could only nod. It felt like her stomach had been left behind when they lifted into the air.
<><><>
The sun was setting when they reached the outskirts of Metropolis. The long deep shadows of dusk were good cover to hide them as they drew closer to Lois' neighborhood. The past half hour – finding Lois, their conversation, and now flying with her - had been the most surreal of his life. Clark had never been so aware of the turbulence of flight before. Having Lois' body pressed as close as a lover's against his own had turned each jolt or bump into an inadvertent caress. The light stroke of her fingers on his back and the heat of her breath on his chest were starting to make him feel dizzy.
Clark slowed to float just outside Lois' apartment. "Almost there," he explained as he changed his hold so that one hand was free to open her living room window more fully. They drifted inside and touched down. Reluctantly, he let her go and stepped back.
"I guess, uh, I should turn a light on, huh?" Lois scurried to the other side of the couch and switched on the table lamp. "That's better," she said although her voice sounded uncertain.
Clark had never before felt so exposed in the suit as now when Lois knew who he really was. She knew and all she was doing was staring at him. Should he try to explain again? Beg her forgiveness? Let her bring up the subject first? Leave? He crossed his arms over his chest like that might hide his disguise.
"So--," Lois finally said in a breathless tone, "Did you need to go now? Or can you stay and talk? It feels like we should talk, doesn't it? Except I'd really like to clean up a little first, if you can wait that long. Can you wait? You can watch television or read or something." Her hand waved at the stack of magazines and catalogs next to one of her sofas. "Or we can talk tomorrow, if that works better for you."
Relief flooded through him that she wanted him to stick around. He didn't really want to leave her but it was obvious that they both needed a little time and space to adjust to this new reality.
"I could use a clean-up myself," he told her. "How about I come back in an hour and bring dinner with me? Anything you want, just name it."
Lois began to edge backward towards her bedroom. "Sure. I don't really care what we eat. Surprise me." She started to turn around and then paused. "Hey, Clark?"
"Yes?"
She hesitated for a few seconds as her gaze skittered over the 'S' on his chest. "I, uh--." Her attention shifted to some point just behind him. "Nothing with corn in it, please."
Clark couldn't stop himself from grinning at her as he remembered the kernels of popcorn scattered around the empty boxcar that had been her prison. "Nothing with corn, I promise."
<><><>
Lois silently cursed herself as she walked into her bedroom. There were so many things she wanted to say to Clark, like 'your secret is safe with me' or most especially 'I love you.' Instead she had told him 'nothing with corn'. Her mood worsened when she caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. Traces of mascara were smeared beneath her eyes - the perfect complement to her sunburned nose. Her hair was a rat's nest of tangles. It must be true that love was blind because there was no way Clark had not noticed her disheveled appearance.
She stripped and got into the shower. After four days in the same clothes, it was a relief to get them off. She shampooed her hair, wincing as the suds seeped into the splinters she had acquired during her escape. Lois put a conditioner in her hair and then lathered every inch of skin. After rinsing off, she stood under the showerhead, luxuriating in the simple pleasure of heated water running over her skin.
Once she felt half-human again, she got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. Lois scrutinized herself in the mirror as she combed her hair. The dirt and smeared makeup were gone now but there was nothing she could do about the sunburn. She found her tweezers and pulled free as many splinters as she could. There were a couple that were simply too deep to get; she'd have to wait until they worked themselves closer to the surface.
Why hadn't she told Clark that she loved him? It had seemed so easy to do when she practiced the words out in the wilderness. But then that was before she figured out his secret. Sure, she had told Superman before that she loved him, but that was nothing compared to how she felt about Clark. Superman had been a crush. Clark was real. Clark was her best friend. It would be far, far worse to be rejected by Clark than by Superman. Even scarier was the realization that Clark wasn't going to reject her. She knew his secret and, even more importantly, he
wanted her to know that secret. Just like the splinters in her hands, she was in too deep to get out easily.
Full of nervous energy, Lois went into her bedroom to get dressed. What should she wear? Something casual, obviously, but how casual? The clothes she had tried on and then discarded on Friday night were still lying across the end of her bed. She stared at the jumbled pile without comprehension; her mind was much too busy thinking about Clark. Had he come back yet? Was he out there? It hadn't quite been an hour since he left, but surely it took him a lot less time to shower?
After checking to make sure that her towel was still on tightly, she tiptoed to the bedroom door. She'd just take a little peek and see if he was out there. Just before she reached the door a floorboard creaked beneath her and she froze. She was being foolish. If Clark was out there he could easily hear her. This was the same man who had admitted that he could recognize her heartbeat in a crowd of reporters. Hell, he could see through walls. For all she knew, he had watched her shower. Not that she really thought he would. Would he?
Probably not. Unless he was lying about only glancing when she left the curtains open in invitation. Except for that one time… She grinned all over again at the thought of Superman distractedly flying into the side of her building.
Impulsively, Lois dug through her lingerie drawer to find the teddy that had preoccupied Clark so much. The whisper of silk against her skin felt like a secret Clark could easily discover, if he tried. But would he? Again, the answer was 'probably not'. Still, after four days in the wilderness, it was an indulgence she had more than earned. Lois picked up a sweater and jeans from the pile at the end of her bed and put them on as well.
When she came out of the bedroom her living room and kitchen were still empty. "Clark?" she called out.
There was no answer. The curtains fluttered on her open window but he didn't materialize. Lois glanced at the time display on her microwave. She still had a few minutes, give or take, until he returned. Should she dry her hair and attempt to style it? Or would that make it appear like she was trying too hard? Her thoughts scattered at the soft knock on her front door. Lois froze, her heart pounding in anticipation. That had to be him.
She forced herself to walk slowly to the front door. It's just Clark, she told herself. Forget about Superman. Forget that he flew you home tonight. Forget that he's trusting you with the secret that would make your career and ruin his life. Forget that you're wearing that teddy. For a second or two Lois considered running back into her bedroom to change out of it but decided it would take her too long. The guy had super-hearing and he no doubt knew that she was standing on the other side of the door from him. Her numb fingers took hold of the doorknob but she couldn't get them to actually turn it.
He's your best friend, she continued her pep talk. Your partner. That guy at work who constantly edits your stories and insists on triple-checking all your quotes. A flicker of irritation shot through her. Yeah, she could definitely hold her own against that guy. Lois took in a deep, calming breath and opened the door.
Clark was smiling before she got the door completely open. He had changed into jeans and a dark t-shirt. He was now clean-shaven and holding a pizza box. The short sleeves of the shirt strained to contain his biceps and Lois gaped at him in awe, blushing to think that she had been held in those arms – and not just to be rescued.
"Wow," she breathed and then quickly added, "Mario's! I love Mario's pizza."
"No corn," he said with a teasing smile. "Just like you asked."
Lois stepped behind the door to let him in. As he moved past her she caught a whiff of oregano along with the familiar scents of Clark's soap and aftershave. There was something different about him, but it wasn't until he turned around at her table that she realized he wasn't wearing his glasses.
"I called your mom," he told her as he set the pizza box down. "I called Perry and the police, too. I told them all you were home safe but that you were exhausted and would get in touch with them tomorrow."
God, it wasn't just his arms - the entire t-shirt was tight on him. Was it more distracting to her now because she knew what kind of strength actually lay beneath the fabric? Her mind reeled to think that only a week ago she had been sprawled across his couch while those strong hands had explored her body. None of her Superman fantasies had ever been as amazing as the reality of Clark's touch on her bare skin. Her eyes wandered back up to his face. He was looking at her like he was expecting a response. What had he just said? Something about how she should call her mom? No – he had called her mom - that was it.
"Great. Thanks," she said weakly and shut the door. Lois took a couple of steps forward and then held back. It made her feel jumpy to think about sitting down at the same table with him and eating like it was any of the ordinary evenings they had spent together. Especially since lately their evenings had ended in long, deep kisses with a little petting thrown in for good measure.
Clark stood next to her table and tilted his head slightly, no doubt wondering why she wasn't joining him. Several seconds of silence ticked by before he quietly asked, "Is everything okay?"
Lois hugged her arms to her chest, suddenly self-conscious about her choice of underwear. "Sure. Yeah."
He gestured at her table. "Shall we eat?"
"Okay."
When she still didn't make a move his eyes narrowed a little in curiosity. Lois hugged herself tighter as she wondered if he could see the teddy. She fervently wished she had left it in the drawer at this point. Seducing Superman was an abstract daydream. Seducing Clark was something she had ample experience with - and it had never required lingerie.
"Look, Lois, if you're tired, we can talk tomorrow. I don't want to--."
"No!" she cut him off and took a few shaky steps towards the table. "I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be this weird, you know, once you were in regular clothes."
His jaw tightened in an apologetic smile. "I can put my glasses on if you think it will help."
"It's not that!" she hastened to reassure him. "I like seeing you like this. I like knowing that I'm one of the few people who gets to see you like this. I love, uh--." Her stomach growled, which only made her already-shaky knees feel even weaker. What little nerve she had worked up disappeared completely. "We should eat before it gets cold."
He pulled out a chair for her. "Ladies first."
<><><>
Clark had never felt this happy before. Never in his life had he been more content than this moment when Lois was alive and well and knew his secret and the future stretched out, full of promise, in front of them. After the waking nightmare of the past few days it was amazing to be sitting here, in her apartment, watching her almost obscene glee as she devoured a slice of pizza.
More than anything he wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go again. He could have happily cradled her in his arms and walked all the way back to Metropolis, just to be able to hold her for so many uninterrupted hours.
Apparently sated, Lois tossed her crust back into the pizza box. "How did you know where to find me?" she asked.
"You lost one of your shoes outside the bar. The lab found traces of a drug called KB-509 on it. It seemed like more than a coincidence that Allied Technologies is developing KB-509."
"Herman Twitchell was behind it?"
"Twitchell and one of his employees, a guy named Dave Sadler. A bank camera across the street caught a man wearing a baseball cap taking you out of the bar. The bartender and an off-duty cop both remembered that he had worn a Red Sox hat. You took a picture of a guy wearing a Red Sox hat when you were watching Alliance Tech's warehouse. I tracked Sadler down and he confessed."
Lois paused in selecting a new slice of pizza. "Just like that?" she asked skeptically. "You asked and he spilled? Did you show up on his doorstep as Superman?"
"No," Clark choked out a denial. Leave it to Lois to ask the one question he didn't want to answer. "I didn't talk to him as Superman."
Her eyes narrowed and he knew she sensed blood in the water. "And…?"
Clark pushed away his plate, his appetite gone. The food he had consumed felt like a lead weight in his stomach. Lois' earlier skittishness had worried him, but she had relaxed once they started eating. Now those few minutes were going to be nothing but a brief and happy memory. Once she knew the whole truth, she was going to want a lot of distance between them and he could hardly blame her.
"I did something terrible," he admitted softly. "I broke all my rules for you."
She furrowed her forehead. "What rules?"
Clark scrubbed his face with his hands as the memory of the agony of not knowing where she was washed over him again. "I, god, Lois, I was so lost without you. I would have done anything. You were gone. Just gone. There was no demand for a ransom, nothing. After two days of searching I went to Bobby Bigmouth and offered to trade my secret--."
"You told Bobby?" Lois went wide-eyed in disbelief.
"No. I asked him to find someone who knew where you were and I'd give them information on Superman so they could claim that million dollar reward. He flat-out refused to help me. He said it wasn't worth the risk."
"He was right. Superman is worth so much more than I am."
"Not to me," he told her.
Her cheeks colored slightly and then she leaned forward, not about to be distracted from the real point of his story. "So you didn't tell Bobby. What rules did you break?"
Overwhelmed with shame, Clark looked down at his clenched hands. "I hit Sadler," he confessed. "I hit him because he told me that he had ra--." He couldn't say the word. Even now, when he knew it wasn't true, the claims Sadler had made caused Clark's blood to turn hot with rage. "He told me he had hurt you. He boasted about it, about how much you had suffered, so I broke his nose."
Clark dared a glance at Lois only to find her expression unreadable. Did she hate him now? Did she understand how many years of self-discipline had been tossed aside in a moment of anger? Would it scare her to know that, even now, buried beneath his guilt there was still a part of him that took satisfaction in having hurt Dave Sadler?
He needed to see some kind of reaction from Lois; needed to know what she thought of her hero now so he looked her straight in the eyes as he continued to explain, "Even after his nose was broken he still wouldn't tell me anything except that you were dead. I lost it. I tortured him until he told me where you were."
Lois still hadn't moved but she didn't seem frightened either. Her eyes gazed steadily at him. After several agonizingly long seconds that felt like an eternity she finally spoke. "Tortured him how?"
"I threatened to kill him."
She frowned slightly. "That's it? You broke his nose and then you threatened to kill him? What else?" Lois pressed. "Did you break his legs or burn holes in him?"
"You don't think breaking his nose was enough?" he asked in astonishment.
Lois waved a dismissive hand. "Clark, people break each other's noses all the time. It doesn't take super-strength to do that. If you had used super-strength, wouldn't it have killed him?"
"You don't understand. I lost control and I acted on impulse. I
wanted to kill him. I wanted to hurt him as much as he said he had hurt you. I wanted to make him pay."
Lois leaned forward, her eyes looking straight into his. "So why isn't he dead? If you had really lost control, wouldn't he be nothing but a smear on the wall right now?" Her expression softened but was no less earnest. "I think what really happened is that your instincts held you back."
Clark gaped at her – this was a possibility he hadn't considered. "I don't know. Maybe," he whispered.
"If you hadn't strong-armed that guy, do you know where we'd be right now? You'd be flying around Metropolis looking like death warmed over and I'd be eating popcorn out in the middle of nowhere. You did what you had to do, Clark. You did what anyone would have done in the heat of the moment."
"I--."
She held up one hand to forestall any disagreement. "Don't argue with me, Clark. You know I'm right. If it had been Jimmy who broke his nose and threatened to kill him, would you think he was in the wrong?"
Clark let out a half-laugh at the thought of Jimmy fighting with Sadler. The laugh disappeared as Clark realized Sadler would have no doubt used his knife to kill Jimmy. Sadler had certainly meant to kill him when he invited him inside. Lois was right – the only use of his superpowers had been when he'd moved faster than Sadler to get rid of the knife.
Relief flooded in to replace the guilt he had been feeling. Mixed with the relief was another emotion, one he had only ever felt in small doses until just this moment. It took him a few seconds to find a word for it and the best he could do was 'whole'. For the first time in his life he felt whole. This was what he had longed to have for so long. He'd wanted a friend, a confidant, someone who wasn't bound by familial ties to encourage him. He knew Lois well enough to know that she would give him the unvarnished truth. She had certainly never held back her opinions in the past and he could trust her now.
The weight of years of secrecy seemed to fall from his shoulders in an instant. Lois knew him. She knew him better than anyone ever had or ever would. There was nothing he couldn't tell her. There was nothing to hold back from her anymore. For the first time ever he was completely free.
"Thank you," he whispered in a voice hoarse with emotion.
"For what? I can appreciate that you have to be careful, Clark, but--."
Clark jumped in to change the topic. He didn't want to talk about Sadler ever again if he could help it. "Tell me something, how did you get out of that railcar?"
Lois shrugged. "There was a crack in the floor, so I pulled the wood up until the hole was big enough to squeeze through."
Her attempt at insouciance was ruined by a pleased little grin, but Clark was still amazed by her ingenuity. She was amazing, even more amazing than Superman in his opinion. Superpowers were cheating. Everything Lois accomplished was through sheer will and determination.
"You did that with your bare hands?" Clark reached over and took hold of her hands. They were so small and yet so capable. He looked at them in wonder. She had typed out award-winning stories with these hands. She had saved his life, using a letter-opener to remove a Kryptonite bullet. She had run her fingers through his hair, had slapped his arm in irritation, and she had torn up the floor of a railroad car with them.
"Not exactly. I used a blanket and my watch, too."
Their eyes met and he found himself breathless. "You never cease to amaze me, Lois." he told her earnestly. "I love you."
<><><>
He loved her! Lois had known he did; known that he
had to, but it was still thrilling to actually hear him say the words.
"I--." Once again, her lips just wouldn't form the words that her entire being was practically shouting. All she had to do now was repeat the words back to him, but she couldn't do it. Instead her hands started to shake and a cold sweat broke out on her skin.
"I--," she tried again and, finally, words poured out of her. "I wish I would have had some gloves, you know? I got lots of splinters and, uh, I think I still have a few I couldn't get out."
Clark lifted her hands, turning them over to inspect her palms. His forehead furrowed in concentration as his eyes narrowed. There was the slightest sensation of heat and then he pressed a gentle kiss into her left palm. "There," he said whispered and gave her a lopsided smile. "All gone."
Lois swallowed hard but still couldn't work her voice loose. She wanted to apologize and tell him that she really, truly loved him back but all she could choke out was, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Clark gave her a dazzling smile that did nothing to help her regain her equilibrium. His fingers traced a delicate pattern on the palm of her left hand, ratcheting even tighter the coil of excitement low in her belly. His eyes darkened and her breath caught as she recognized she wasn't the only one feeling the primal pull of desire.
"Why me?" she managed to whisper. "Out of all the people in the world? You could have anyone you want. So why me?"
"Haven't you ever met someone and you just knew? You knew it the moment they touched you and there was a spark?" As he spoke, one hand lifted to cup her cheek and his thumb traced over her lower lip to emphasize the word "spark".
Lois couldn't stop herself from gasping. Spark? Was he crazy? That wasn't a spark. That was a full-blown five-alarm fire that was one kiss away from combustion. Then it dawned on her that she had once told him the same thing about Superman.
"Maybe," she allowed with a sheepish grin. "But you didn't really answer my question. Why me?"
"You're Lois Lane," he said like that could explain everything. He leaned forward and, for a breathless couple of seconds, she was sure Clark was going to kiss her. Instead his hand dropped from her cheek and his expression turned thoughtful.
"I knew who you were before we ever met. I'd read your work and I was hoping I might catch a glimpse of the famous Lois Lane when I came to interview with Perry. And then this drop-dead gorgeous woman came storming into his office, full of energy and drive." He smiled at the memory. "God, you were intimidating. Especially after you shot down all my attempts at charm and flat-out told me not to fall for you."
Lois flushed. "It wasn't you. I'm like that with anyone I don't know."
"I didn't know you either," Clark said wistfully. "And yet my instincts said that someday I would trust with everything." He gave her a rueful grin. "I honestly thought I was delusional until the night we got tied up in the EPRAD hanger and you told me about how you'd broken all your rules. That was when I realized you were hiding in plain sight, just like me."
"Then I guess my disguise isn't better than yours. You saw through me first." After only a few days, her mind noted glumly. He had seen through her practically since the beginning.
"Only because you let me. If you hadn't confessed about breaking all your rules I might still think that Mad Dog Lane was the real you."
"I hate that people call me that," she whispered. "I'm not a bitch, not really."
Clark shook his head. "I never said you were."
Lois searched her memory. "You said I was snob once."
"I'll bet you were being a snob at the time," he gently shot back. "But that's not the same thing."
"No," she said in a choked voice. "It's not."
He stifled a yawn and she realized how exhausted he must be. "When was the last time you slept?"
He shrugged. "I don't know."
Lois knew she should tell him to go home and get some rest but she didn't want to see him leave. He couldn't leave before she'd had the chance to tell him that she loved him. She reached over and touched his cheek. His eyes closed and a faint smile played at the corners of his mouth.
"You should get some sleep," she said softly.
<><><>
Disappointment shot through Clark. Yes, he was tired. God knows he had tapped the last reserves of superstrength flying back to Lois' apartment earlier that night. She was absolutely right – he needed sleep. But his need to be near her was just as critical. It was only the realization that she had to be just as exhausted that made him summon one last show of willpower.
"All right," he whispered and opened his eyes. "I'll call you in the morning."
Clark stood up and Lois joined him. He heard her pulse ratchet into a gallop just before she quietly said, "I wasn't asking you to leave."
He froze, his mind racing through scenarios ranging from his sleeping on her couch, to a drowsy spooning in her bed, to a gloriously naked Lois in his arms. Stuck on that last fantasy, all he could murmur was, "Oh."
She clearly had no idea about his heated thoughts because she gave him a sultry smile and said, "If a girl can't trust Superman in her bed, who can she trust?"
Clark had to clear his throat to find his voice. "You're the only woman in the world who shouldn't trust Superman in your bed. Especially if you're going to wear that teddy."
Her eyes widened in astonishment. "You looked!?"
He gave her a small, smug smile. "That's a scoop-neck sweater. Of course I looked."
"Oh my god!"
"That was exactly what I thought." Clark nodded in feigned solemnity.
Lois blushed and clapped one hand to the neckline of her sweater as if to prevent any future sightings. The gesture made Clark smile. It was rather endearing that she was trying to hide something that a week ago she had actively encouraged him to explore.
She must have had the same thought because she rolled her eyes and said, "Well, I guess it's not like you haven't seen that before." Her hand fluttered away and her shoulders straightened, as if daring him to look.
His gaze traced the neckline of her sweater, then moved up to that spot on her neck where she was ticklish. He already knew how her skin would taste. He could hear the low, throaty laugh she'd make when he kissed her there. "I should go now," he whispered regretfully.
"No, please?" She took a step closer to him, close enough that they were almost touching. Her head tipped back, her dark, luminous eyes gazing up at him. "Please stay."
It suddenly felt like he was underwater. His entire body felt slow and heavy. He had said the words in jest, but she really shouldn't trust him at this moment. "Lois…." He started to warn her, but her proximity was intoxicating and he really, really wanted to stay.
"Please? I, I need to talk to you." Her hand took hold of his wrist and he followed her, unresisting, to the sofa. Lois sat down and he joined her, his senses drinking in the sight, smell and sound of her. Her heart was racing and her movements were all shaky, giving away how nervous she was even as she snuggled up close against him. "Is this okay?" she asked.
Clark closed his arms around her and his cheek came to rest on top of her head. "It's perfect," he murmured.
<><><>
Lois shivered closer against him, remember the last time he had told her "it's perfect". They had been making out in a building's alcove while the rain poured down. This close to him, it was easy to slip into the memory of his kisses. Maybe it would be easier to kiss him first and then tell him that she loved him? Or would that just make her more nervous?
Her hand smoothed over his chest, stopping where the 'S' would be. It was still so odd to think that Clark had been Superman all along. It was even more strange and amazing to know that Clark was an alien. The one person in this world she could relate to better than anyone else was the one person in this world who wasn't supposed to be here. Was it fate or luck that had brought them together? Did it really matter now? He was here - she could hear his heartbeat as well as feel it beneath her fingertips.
"Can you really tell my heartbeat from anyone else's?" she asked in a whisper.
"Yes," he admitted. The quiet rumble of his voice tickled against her cheek.
"Did you, uh, did you memorize it on purpose?"
"No, not on purpose. It was a gradual thing, really. I didn't fully realize I could do it until that time you were locked in a bank vault and the only way to find you was to listen for you. After that I sometimes found myself listening to you without really meaning to do so. I'll make an effort not to if it bothers you."
"It doesn't bother me," she said quietly. "I was just wondering." Lois closed her eyes, listening to the strong, steady cadence of his pulse. The sound was comforting, but maybe that was because she was snuggled up against him. She wondered what it would be like to listen to the same sound from across the room. What would it be like to be able to eavesdrop so completely on someone else? No wonder Clark had made rules for himself.
"Clark?"
"Hmm?"
"What other rules did you break? You said you broke all your rules."
She felt him tense. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke. "All my life, what's kept me safe was hiding. Having superpowers isn't the kind of thing you want anyone else to know. So I had rules to keep me and my parents safe. Rule number one was to never tell anyone."
"You broke that one today," she whispered.
"You needed to know the truth. There was no way our relationship could advance if you didn't know the truth."
Lois suppressed a grin. It would be so easy to get sidetracked here but she really wanted to know what his other rules were. "What's rule number two?"
"I could never use my powers to hurt anyone."
"We've established that you didn't break that rule. Number three?"
"I could never use my powers if anyone was watching. Becoming Superman was a way of circumventing that rule. Actually, becoming Superman broke more than just that rule."
"Oh? How's that?"
He shifted restlessly. "Rule number four was to never stay in one place for longer than a few months."
"Yeah, you definitely broke that one."
"Only because I broke rule number five. Once I broke that one the rest was pretty much inevitable."
"What's rule number five?"
"Don't fall in love."
"Really?" Lois lifted her head to look at him as shock waves reverberated through her. "You were never going to fall in love with anyone?"
"It could get complicated if I did."
"Complicated? You're saying that you became Superman so you could stay in Metropolis because you'd fallen in love with me?"
"See? Complicated."
Lois was speechless. He really had broken almost all his rules because of her. This was even more amazing than wondering if Superman gave up his principles for her. Clark Kent had gambled everything for her. He had donned a cape and tights and submitted to two years of put downs because he had known she wasn't really Mad Dog Lane. All of it, everything that had happened, he had done it for her.
"I love you." The words were barely a murmur and any other man might not have heard them. She knew he did because he smiled.
"Clark, I love you," she said the words again, delighted by both his reaction and the easy way the words rolled off her tongue. "I wanted to tell you earlier, but I kept chickening out. I don't know why. It's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I love you." She kissed his bottom lip. "I love you." She kissed him again, longer this time. "Thank you for breaking all your rules, Clark."
"Only for you, Lois. Only for you." Clark kissed her back and she opened her mouth, deepening the kiss even as she moved onto his lap. She couldn't get close enough to him.
When the need for oxygen exceeded her need for Clark, she reluctantly broke the kiss. Lois giggled as he continued to leave kisses on her forehead and cheek.
"Mmm. Do you remember what my rules were?" she asked breathlessly.
"Never get involved with a story." He kissed the tip of her nose.
"I break that one all the time," she admitted with a laugh.
His mouth moved, leaving a kiss on her jaw. "Never let someone else get there first."
"It's happened." Lois tipped her head back to give him better access.
"Never sleep with someone you work with." He kissed her neck and Lois couldn't help her reaction at the sensation. Clark knew her so well. He always found that exact spot that sent a rush of heat through her and made her laugh at the same time.
"I'm about to break that one," she confessed.
Clark stood up, cradling her in his arms. "Yes. You definitely are."
<><><>
End 10/10
And now a word from our sponsor:
My thanks to everyone who read this on the boards and took the time to offer up feedback. It's a well-documented fact that stories get posted because their author's have an insatiable need to know what the readers think. I feel very fortunate to have such dedicated (and persistent) readers.
To those of you hoping for an nfic epilogue I can only say "maybe?"
It would be nice to take a PWP n-break from the other story I'm working on. If the mood holds and the stars align just right, it could happen. How's that for being definitive?
I owe a world of thanks to the wonderful ladies who helped me at varying stages of posting this story. To
Kate, Emily and Sarah I say "THANK YOU!" Thank you for reading and for commenting and for all the encouragement you gave me. It made a huge difference and my only regret is that I can't find enough words to express my gratitude.
It is not exaggerating at all to say that I never would have got this story done without the heroic efforts of
Brenda. She was with me from the first – nudging me along and patiently reading (and re-reading) parts until I got them nailed down. Brenda, I thank you for your sense of humor and all the snarkilicious comments that made me laugh. Thank you for the insights that saved this story and kept me on-track. Thanks, really, for just being
you. Mmmmwwwaaaahhh! (It's okay. You can wipe your cheek off. I won't be offended. <g>)
