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Just A Little Note TOCPlease post feedback here. Thank you.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 05/12/14 02:54 PM. Reason: Fixed broken Link
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
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 Loved it! More! More! Favorite part... She picked up the box with a shrug and carried it up the stairs with her. Glancing down at the return address, she saw it was from the Cheese of the Month Club. Lois’s jaw dropped. He really belonged to a Cheese of the Month Club? Why hadn’t he shared any of the cheese with her? 
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
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I'm still reading this part of your little three-part story, but I already feel like I just have to comment. Maybe Mayson was right. Maybe she should look at the man under the suit. She shook her head. That just sounded dirty when she put Clark in the context. ROFL, no idea what she means with that. (The suit must be dirty, right.) Love that line. Secret wife? Ditto. [...] Secret drug problem? Ditto. What's this, Pokémon night? (Ditto?) Sorry, my eight-year-old daughter got me addicted to Pokémon, and this kinda fit. She picked up the box with a shrug and carried it up the stairs with her. Glancing down at the return address, she saw it was from the Cheese of the Month Club. Lois’s jaw dropped. He really belonged to a Cheese of the Month Club? Why hadn’t he shared any of the cheese with her? Hehe, because she wouldn't believe it anyway? Sinking back into her bed, Lois smiled in amusement at the thought of Clark in one of her black chiffon dresses. Oh, where are you creative pic-maker people when we need you? (LaraMoon? You still there?) Waitaminute, chiffon dress? Why does that remind me of Lois' cross-dresser comment in GGGoH? Like father, like son? 
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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“I brought coffee,” she said with a weak smile. “Breakfast of reporters.”  over how Lois is going to react She wiped her nose on his cape and then realized what she had done. Although that *could* shok him enough to miss by not reacting fast enough. “Talk to Clark, Lois. Things may not be as they seem.” No, no, no you lunkhead! She admits that she loves Clark. You are then supposed to tell her that you *are* Clark. Lois went to the fire escape and retrieved her half-melted ice-cream and then shut the window. She wondered why she kept seeing Clark in Superman. Then she laughed, remembering what she had told Clark back when she was doused by pheromones. “Every woman in love thinks her man looks like Superman.” This time she had it backwards. She was so in love with Clark, she kept seeing him in Superman. “You should. You are a heel. A total heel, Clark. And as your best friend, I’m not allowing you to date anyone else. As your punishment for being a heel, I don’t think you should date anyone else for a while,” Lois replied evilly. She didn’t want him to move on before she had a chance to build up her courage again. Evil Lois is so much fun! Lois guffawed at his awful joke. “I love you, Smallville.” She gulped. Oh, God! Had she said that aloud?
“Right back at you, Metropolis,” he shot in trade. “Good night. Thanks for making me feel less like a cad.” So adorable!!! Great chapter! So much has happened! I love that Lois has finally voiced her feelings to Clark, even if she doesn't realize it, and even if Clark is pretending not to know. So good! Still  over death by Space Rat though. What a way to go! More please!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Hi Virginia,
I'm too tired to comment intelligently tonight, but just wanted to pop in and say that part 2 did not disappoint. Lois is so close and yet so far! I'm hoping that all of her wondering about Clark and Superman is paving the subconscious way so that she'll be quick to forgive him when she finally stops talking herself out of the truth.
I also loved the way Clark, as Clark, found a plausible way to assure her that he wasn't dating Mayson without waiting for her to take Superman's advice and 'talk to Clark.'
Looking forward to part 3 (and an epilogue?)
Happy
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
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I fear RL is keeping me ultra-busy these days. No time to write the detailed feedback that I would prefer to leave. (Barely time to read the story. As it is, I am cutting out a *lot* of fanfic reading.  ) Anyway, this part definitely deserved comment. I love how you had Clark donate to the shelter all the stuff he had bought in order to keep his running-off excuses truthful. (Come to think of it, why would he even need to belong to a Cheese of the Month club? Wouldn't it be cheaper simply to fly to the various countries and by the cheeses right where they are made?) Poor Henry O. I was going to comment about his name ('Henry O.' as opposed to 'O. Henry'), but then I saw that you drew it from the script of ASU. IIRC, he never actually said his name in the show, did he? When Lois tried to divine Clark's secret near the start (Secret wife? Secret life of crime? etc.) ? Thanks for the stress relief. Looking forward to part three. I know you plan to post it tomorrow; any chance it will be fairly early in the day?  Joy, Lynn
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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“And if we’re lucky, he brings some exotic cheese as well.” I laughed and laughed when I read this. Looks like that membership in the Cheese of the Month Club is coming in handy for the men at the shelter. 
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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I love how you're drawing this out--and how Lois keeps thinking about connections between Clark and Superman and then just dismissing them. Classic Lois. One of my favorite lines was when Clark let go of her hand, and it felt like he took her soul with him. So touching. Following the Nightfall tangent is very entertaining, though I did feel for Clark when he found out that the man who had helped him had died. And I had to shake my head and say "That's so Clark," when it turned out that everyone at the shelter knew him from his donations.  )!
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MouseRocks: So glad you are still alive and your  was only an 'almost' death. Who else would Clark ask out? Oh, wait, there is that girl Sarah from research... :p Lara J. Kent: Undressing Clark sounded dirty in her mind Sorry, NO Pokemons allowed at my house. It's like the Ditto from Ghost (the Patrick Swayze movie, not the S4 episode). Like father, like Son comment Deadly Chakram: So many good comments, so little Graemlins... At least he's not *totally* lying to Lois when h dashes off. And what a nice gesture to donate items where they are needed. So very Clark! Clark says somewhere in S3 (in Ordinary People, I think) that he always went back and tried to do the things he told her he was doing so he wouldn't be completely lying to her with his excuses. And, yes, only Mom knows how to get out snot stains. Happy: Lois 'happy' when he tells her the truth? Where's the fun in that? Lynn: But he TOLD Lois he belonged to a Cheese of the Month club and to be honest, he HAD to belong to one. Yes, the name Henry O. came from the script, the line was cut in the actual episode, but I added it back in for my story. I'll post the part so early tomorrow morning, it will actually seem like tonight.  PS: Next part is dedicated to you! IolantheAlias: Yes, everyone gets to enjoy the cheese... except Lois. AntiKryptonite: Lois knew that Superman would always save her. It's not like she'd do jump off a cliff without him there. I wanted her to do a "Lover's Leap" call-out to Clark, but she couldn't do that without Superman, but I also wanted her to say catagorically she didn't WANT to die. For who else Clark might ask out see note to MouseRocks above. Thank you for all the great comments. Glad you are still enjoying my silly little story. Off to post the new part.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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But he TOLD Lois he belonged to a Cheese of the Month club and to be honest, he HAD to belong to one. Good point. I wonder whether he considered the expense each time he came up with a new excuse? (After all, he never used, 'Need to but a new refrigerator' as an excuse.) Naaaah. I'll post the part so early tomorrow morning, it will actually seem like tonight. I see you posted it already. Thanks! PS: Next part is dedicated to you! Really? Wow! I'm honoured! Thanks. Joy, Lynn
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Hmm... So, p3 = Monday and epilogue = Tuesday? Okay, the epilogue could be any time... From now on she would let him be the one to pick up the coffee; he was much better at it.  “I brought coffee,” she said with a weak smile. “Breakfast of reporters.” /clears throat/ Still, when Clark brings 'breakfast' it's gym time for Lois. Although, they say certain 'other' recreational activities can substitute for gym time. And she'd even have a 'friend' available for it. And even Jimmy's already assuming as much anyway. Jimmy entered with dark sunglasses on. “Coffee.”
Lois handed him her extra cup. “See?” /imagines Jimmy doing a zombie impression/ "Coffee Coffee Coffee" OTOH, this might also work for Lois. Lois handed him her extra cup. “See?”
“Gee, thanks, Lois,” Jimmy said with surprise. “I was sure you were going to kill me.” The coffee might be poisoned? Or spiced with a laxative? “Absolutely not!” Jimmy replied, shocked and then lowered his voice, “It’s not true, is it?”
Lois’s eyes went to slits, before she snarled between gritted teeth, “Jimmy Olsen!”  Michael
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Pulitzer
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This part was so sweet! I like the nicknames Smallville and Metropolis! Your style of writing is easy and relaxed.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Michael: Yes, the whole Lois brought coffee is another joke about Lois's cooking skills. Even her buying 'breakfast' isn't as good as Clark's. And can you imagine Clark's face when he learns she's rolling the air with Superman? Learn of the rumor? Or learn of the fact? I'm thinking he's there for the fact.  ) Killing off of Henry O. I couldn't have him around for Lois to interview and I really hated the Space Rats. Right! Even the computers say it's Jimmy Olsen. Then it makes no sense for him to be calling at 3 in the A.M. to ask where Superman is. Or being drunk. Either that or Jimmy is REALLY good at that secret identity stuff. Oh dear. That's...dangerous! What if he's too stunned to act? Well, this is the flying by the seat of her pants Lois (not literally). Now, there's an idea. Just, why did she wait for him to dry up? Just for the show? Mayson wasn't done making him feel bad. Always hoping he might change his mind. Morgana: Thank you. I'm too busy being run over by two crazy kids for stiff, complicated wording. I figured if Lois called him Smallville enough, Clark would eventually come up with a similar comeback.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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es, the whole Lois brought coffee is another joke about Lois's cooking skills. Even her buying 'breakfast' isn't as good as Clark's. ... Michael
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