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Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
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Any and all comments are very welcome! Thanks!
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
OK. Am I going out on a limb here, or did that last line mean that Lois realizes that she loves Clark? If so,   If not,  That's right, basic survival techniques 101 - skin to skin contact, best way to warm up.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
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"Lois...there's something I need to tell you. It's about...why I left Metropolis with Superman. He and I...well, you see, he's my--" Oh you tease!  It's so sweet that Clark misses his parents: "I miss them." Clark's voice was almost inaudible. "I always talked to them, always asked their advice, always...depended on them. I feel...incomplete...without them. Without..." Lois keeps getting closer and closer to figuring things out. You're doing such an excellent job of showing this process. Joan
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Joined: May 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, Henderson showed up, his expression as stoic as if he regularly invaded the marina with what seemed to be half of the MPD. Love this! Tellingly, Clark didn't even argue, just steered me toward the bathroom and whispered his own directions in my ear--which might, truthfully, have been the same things the woman had said, but *his* voice actually managed to penetrate the frost-edged fog accompanying me. Now there's a nice turn. Usually Lois is so resistant to what Clark tells her...unless he's in the blue suit.  It took a long moment for me to remember how to move, to strip and step into the shower and turn the water on as hot as it would go. Minor point, but I always thought that the advice was to *not* do that when so cold. Because you can't really feel how hot it is and run the risk of scalding yourself. I might be wrong though. It had only been nine days ago that I'd been kidnapped, and since that time, I'd been in danger more often than even I was used to She *has* broken all of her records, hasn't she? Someone get this girl a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records! I dared not speak and break the spell surrounding us, so I merely reached out and pushed on his shoulder, getting him to lie back. He watched me as I pulled the covers up around us, and when I stilled, he opened his arms and allowed me to curl up beside him, attaching myself to his warmth. A moment passed before I could even think about anything but relief that he was there for me. Yay for WAFFs! "You don't need your glasses right now," I murmured, the words slurring together. It was shocking how quickly I was slipping toward sleep.
"I..." His voice trailed off, but he made no move to draw away when I stirred to reach up and remove his glasses. An image of them lying abandoned on the dock jolted me to a halt before I forcibly shook the memory away and set the glasses almost reverently on the nightstand. I love this. Shows just how trusting Clark is with her. own expression--lit, as it was so often, by the early evening light, as if the sun sought him out as avidly as he sought its warmth--was sleepy and not quite focused. Love the phrasing here!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: May 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Oops, hit reply too soon when I meant to hit quote. I'll continue here: "I'm dreaming again," he answered unabashedly. "I think I've been dreaming for over a week now." "That's what friends do, isn't it?" I bit my lip and closed my eyes. It still sounded so weak, so pale, so...not enough. Not a lie, just...not the whole truth. But what truth could I speak? How could I tell him that he meant so much more to me than just a friend when Superman had already admitted to me that he cared for me? How could I *not* tell him that thinking he was going to die had hurt more than hearing the news that Superman had probably died stopping Nightfall? Whatever I said, I would hurt one or the other, and yet I knew I needed to say something more, something a little closer to the truth. Chicken! :p "You're one ahead," I said with a warning note. As I had expected, the characteristic competitiveness made him subside. "So...you know the night we started this little tradition? I told you I couldn't sleep because you were in the room? Well," I grimaced. "That was a lie."
...
"I wasn't in the room," he observed quietly.
"I know." I refused to let him look away. "That's *why* I couldn't sleep." This is perfect! A sense of purpose suddenly infused Clark's being, shining outward from his expression as he shifted to face me more fully. "Lois...there's something I need to tell you. It's about...why I left Metropolis with Superman. He and I...well, you see, he's my--"
I could have screamed in frustration when the sound of someone knocking on the door cut Clark's confession off mid-word. His expression turned panicked, and he glanced hurriedly to the window. Ack! So evil!!!! Besides, I had my own questions for Superman. Questions such as: where had he been earlier? Why didn't he ever show up when Clark was in danger? How had he let Nigel get away? Why wasn't he doing more to help us bring down Luthor? Where was he now? And--the question I had been wrestling with since visiting Superman's premature memorial--how had Luthor managed to capture Clark in the first place when Superman should have been guarding him? And finally, she seems a little light on the subject! Unwillingly, my eyes were drawn to Clark. I wanted *him* to be the one thing I could lean on, and he *could* be that thing...except for his unreasoning fear and suspicion of Superman. I had questions for the superhero, yes, but Clark...Clark had accusations. I stared at him for a moment before forcing myself to realize that, of course, he meant the byline on our story, not...well, not the other option for combining our names. I was *just* about to make a similar comment! But the next time a moment like that came, I promised myself, I would *not* let it slip away unused. I hope not. Or the readers will riot. Great chapter, as always. I love the slow progression of things. How Lois is changing. How Clark is changing. Even Henderson. Great work!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
I caught up on this story before Irene makes me unplug the computer.
Your writing in this part is as riveting as it always is. Lois keeps taking two steps forward and one step back. She only has five more story parts to get her act together. Come on, Lois -- You can do it!
Joy,
Lynn
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! 
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, virginiaR! I really liked how the progression of events went here as well; one of those scenes that almost wrote itself. And yes, Lois did think that she couldn't tell Clark that she thought of him as more than a friend because it would be unfair to Superman. And an imposter Superman would make Clark seem less crazy, but Henderson did say he thought this Superman was the real one. I'm glad you're enjoying the progression, scifiJoan! Clark's always been particularly close to his parents, so I thought it was natural he'd be missing them--this surely has to be the longest he's ever been separated from them. Thanks for the great feedback! I think that you are supposed to avoid hot water, Deadly Chakram, but Lois wasn't really listening to the medic. Also, it's been about an hour or so since she was dunked, so I'm assuming she managed to keep the temperature a bearable one.  And I'm glad Henderson worked--it always amazes me how often I write him into my stories when he must be on the show a total of ten minutes--at the most! Anyway, hope you and the other readers don't riot--this next chapter should helps things out a bit.  Thanks, Lynn! I'm honored that you read my story before shutting down for the storm--my prayers are with you!  Uh, very...descriptive...feedback, Vicki.  Thanks! And I can't tell you how delighted I am that the story is good enough to keep you getting up early. We're almost to the end, so you might be able to get a bit more sleep soon. Thanks, everyone, for the great comments!
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
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One of the officers--or maybe she was a paramedic--gave us more advice on how to warm up. Cuddle up with hot chocolate and lot's of body heat? It took a long moment for me to remember how to move, to strip and step into the shower and turn the water on as hot as it would go. And poor Clark's got to wait out there in the cold cold living room. "The best." The slightest flicker of uneasiness ghosted across his face. "The kind I never thought could be real."
I slipped my hand free of his in order to turn his face toward me. "This *is* real, Clark."
"I hope so. We'll see." So much double meaning "I couldn't sleep last night either," I added hurriedly, wanting to erase that look from his eyes.
"I wasn't in the room," he observed quietly.
"I know." I refused to let him look away. "That's *why* I couldn't sleep." Awwwwwww "Lois...there's something I need to tell you. It's about...why I left Metropolis with Superman. He and I...well, you see, he's my other half." I could have screamed in frustration. Clark already had a boyfriend! "No," I said when Clark swallowed and stared down at his hands. "But he'll turn up." /Starts wondering.../ Say, you're not Tank's pseudonym, are you? "It may take a lot of explaining, some concessions, and no small amount of legal blackmail, but I'm confident that he'll soon realize helping us is in his best interest." Well, there's always the tortursome interrogation. he doesn't give the criminals a chance to turn themselves over, he's quicker to tie them up and leave them without a word." I'm guessing that's an improvement over tossing them into the back of a jail truck. Hey, I just had a thought. MPD could always erect criminal receptacles in the city: 20 feet high cylinders with a hatch at the bottom and an open top. Readily placed next to banks, parks, and strategic other positions. "I'll ask him. I'll ask him why he told us about the Kryptonite. If he gives a satisfactory answer, we'll know he's okay. If he doesn't...well, we'll help him. No matter what it takes." /Starts wondering about the sequel/ But the next time a moment like that came, I promised myself, I would *not* let it slip away unused. Famous last words Michael
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
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A sequel?  Umm, probably not! And yes, I do love the double meanings! Thanks, Darth Michael!
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