Author’s Note: From now on all action takes place in canon dimension. The Clark is canon Clark. The Lois is canon Lois back from her year abroad in alt-dimension.
For a plot summary, please click here:
Synopsis of Chapters 1 - 7 Missing Lois - TOC ***
Part 9Lois felt the ground more solidly under her feet. Being back at work felt like eating a pastrami on rye after months of morning sickness. So good. She thanked her mother, every day when they returned home. She wanted to make sure her mother knew that Lois appreciated her sacrifice. At the office, she missed Lara with all of her heart and caught herself looking at that photo that Clark had given her of their little family more and more.
Lara was so precious, the embodiment of her love with Clark and every time she looked at her daughter, she was reminded how much she loved her husband. How much she had sacrificed for him. Lara was lifting her head really well now, during tummy time, but still was nowhere near crawling. They had started sitting her in the high chair with toys during meals. While they ate, Lara chewed on her fingers or shook her gavel. A future judge perhaps.
The doorbell rang. Lois ran out of the kitchen to answer it. Clark was upstairs changing yet another diaper. She still couldn’t believe how many diapers a baby went through in a day. She felt like they were buying a box of diapers every week. She glanced through the peep-hole, but couldn’t believe who she saw. She opened the door.
Bobby Bigmouth rubbed his hands together. “What are you serving for dinner tonight, Lane?”
“Good evening, Bobby, inviting yourself for dinner?” she asked with a raised brow.
“I’ve been waiting for your call. It’s been over a week and I needed to see if the rumors about your cooking were true,” he said, letting himself in.
“Who is it?” called Clark from upstairs.
Lois shook her head. He knew darn well who it was. “Bobby Bigmouth.”
“Do I get to meet the little one?” He grinned.
“No.”
“If you keep me well fed, I won’t ever say a word about her to anyone.” He held up his hand. “Scout’s honor. I hear Lara’s quite the looker like her Mommy.”
Flattery. Did men think that still worked with her? Lois shook her head. “Clark, Bobby wants to know if he can stay for dinner?”
“Only if he has information for us,” he called back down. They had hit a wall with Alexander Luthor. It had been over a week since they had discovered anything new.
Bobby sniffed the air. “What’s that I smell?”
“Chicken stir-fry with rice,” Lois replied, crossing her arms.
Bobby shrugged. “Not lasagna, but it still smells good. Where did you learn to cook, Miss Pickles-and-Mustard?”
“Correspondence course. What do you have to exchange?”
“I hear you’re looking for Alex Luthor…” he started.
“Come on in, Bobby,” Clark said, coming down the stairs with Lara in his arms.
Bobby held out his hands. “Can I?”
Clark raised a brow that clearly read ‘no’ and Bobby dropped his hands and sighed.
“Maybe after dinner Daddy will let Uncle Bobby hold you,” he muttered.
Lois rolled her eyes.
Uncle Bobby Bigmouth? She didn’t think so.
“Your mother joining us?” Clark asked Lois.
“No, she’s catching a movie with Daddy,” she replied. They only had two and half more weeks before her mother left on her cruise. Lois took a deep breath, not wishing to think about that. “Go wash up, boys, dinner’s ready.”
Bobby rubbed his hands together and let Clark show him the way to the downstairs powder room. Then Clark strapped Lara into her highchair.
Their guest returned and gazed at their daughter. “Rumors about her beauty don’t do her justice. Clark, you’re going to have your hands full when she goes to high school.”
Clark glared at Bobby, but relaxed when Lois set her hand on her husband’s arm.
“Better get that membership at the gun range and get started with your target practice.” Bobby laughed.
Her husband pressed his lips together. “We don’t want guns in our house, Bobby.”
“Just joking. Just joking,” said Bobby, holding up his hands.
Lois set a spot for him at the table, away from Lara and Clark. Then she brought out the serving dishes.
Bobby rubbed his palms together. “Family style. My favorite.” Reaching for the food, Lois slapped his hand.
“Do you mind if Clark and I serve ourselves first?” she asked. “I know that’s not proper etiquette, but your reputation precedes you.” She smiled graciously.
“Of course. Of course.” Bobby held up his hands. “Can I have a fork? I’m not good with these sticks.”
Clark poured some tea as Lois exchanged Bobby’s chopsticks for silverware.
Bobby took three bites. “So, I hear you’re looking for Alex Luthor.”
Clark nodded.
“In all the wrong places.”
Lois and Clark exchanged a glance.
“Wrong how?” Clark asked.
“Well, firstly, Alex isn’t an Alexander, but an Alexandra.”
Lois coughed. “Lex, Jr. had a twin sister?”
Clark shivered. “Lex with a daughter. That’s a scary thought.” He caressed Lara’s cheek and she smiled at him.
“Secondly, she doesn’t go by Alex anymore; she’s got a couple of aliases. From what I hear, she is as blonde and beautiful as Lex, Jr. was dark and hideous. A deadly combination.” Only more so when combined with the Luthor name.
“You think you can get me a photo?” Clark asked and Lois kicked him under the table. He looked at his wife. “I personally prefer brunettes.”
“Mayson was blonde,” she muttered. “Lana is blonde.”
Bobby’s fork paused on its way to his mouth as he looked between them. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Of course not,” Lois replied with a smile. “What are her aliases?”
“Working on that. My sources fear her. Apparently, she’s scary,
really scary. She gets what she wants or you die or everything you love dies. They didn’t want to tell me that much.”
“Great. Just what we want in a new boss.” Clark sighed. “Do you know where she’s located? Where we can narrow our search?”
“According to the grapevine, she studied acting with Sebastian Finn.”
“Mr. Make-Up?” Lovely. They would never find her. Lois gazed at Clark with a sigh.
“But she’s definitely local.”
“Local?” asked Clark, brow raised.
“As in the U.S. New York. Gotham City. Chicago. Metropolis, maybe. I’m working on that. She doesn’t like snoopers.”
Lois shook her head. “I can’t believe Alexander is Alexandra. That’s just blows my mind.” Ultra Woman had told her about Alexander, but that Alexander was a woman in her dimension and a man in the other was too much. Fate was weird sometimes. Ultra never said she had met Lex., Jr.’s twin, only what Lex and Junior had mentioned of him in passing. If Alex had studied with Mr. Make-Up, she could disguise herself or himself either way. “Are you sure that Alex isn’t a man? A drag queen?”
Clark, taking a sip of his tea, coughed. “You really hate being wrong, don’t you, Lois?”
Bobby shrugged. “From what I understand, she got married a few years back. Took over her new family’s business from the inside, rolling heads.” He grinned. “So, if she’s a guy, what a story that would be.”
Lara threw her gavel rattle onto the floor and Lois went to retrieve it.
“She looks like you. Lara, does.”
“You mentioned that, Bobby,” replied Lois, handing the gavel back to Lara.
“No, both of you. She’s got your eyes, Clark, but Lois’s smile. Do you know that there’s not word one on the streets where she came from? It’s like she appeared out of thin air.” Bobby shook his head.
Lara threw the gavel rattle back on the floor. This time Clark retrieved it. As he returned it to Lara, Clark looked at Lois with such a gaze of love and devotion, she felt zapped by his heat vision.
“You guys didn’t hire a surrogate, did you?”
Lois shot him a look.
“No. OK. It’s just that usually there is some whisper. Something to learn. But nobody knows anything about her, where she came from. Even a couple, three years back, there were rumors running around for a while that Superman had a twin brother and the two of them dueled on the back lot of the Metropolis Movie Studio.”
“I remember him,” Lois murmured with a nod. “I always wondered what happened to him. Or where he came from. You never told me.” She looked at her husband with curiosity.
Clark gulped. “Superman never told me either, Lois. We should ask
him.”
“Oh.” Lois shrugged, taking a bite. “I thought he had.”
Lara threw the rattle back down on the floor. Lois retrieved it and set it back on her tray table with a smile at Clark.
“You two don’t read minds, do you?” Bobby asked, moving his fork between them. “Because it looks like there’s a whole conversation going on between you I’m not hearing.”
Lois looked at him with a raised brow.
“But then again you’re husband and wife now, so I probably…” Bobby coughed. “Never mind.”
Clark chuckled. “This is delicious, honey. That must have been some correspondence course.”
“Oh, yes. Sorry, Lois. This is great. I’m just going to take some seconds,” Bobby said, reaching for the serving dishes.
“Thank you.” Lois smiled, reaching down and picking up Lara’s rattle again.
***
Clark walked up to Lois at her desk. “Well, I found a Thalia Thor, who went to business school in 1985. An Ali Lucky, who took acting classes in New York in 1987. And a Mindy Huckaby who went to nursing school in 1988. I’ve tried every combination of Luthor and Luckaby I could think of. This is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”
“Any photos?” Lois asked. Clark was suddenly looking very sexy. She needed to be closer to him. She stood up and stood right next to him.
“Good idea. I’ll see if I can get Jimmy to find any to compare. If only Bobby could get us some names.”
“Hmmm.” Lois closed her eyes. Slowly, she started rocking back and forth. Her husband smelled good. Musky with a hint of smoke. It must have been that fire he put out on the way to work this morning.
“Lois?”
She ran her hands over his shirt. He felt so nice. So, strong. “Are you wearing a new cologne, Clark?” she asked.
“I don’t wear cologne, you know that.”
Lois grabbed his tie and pulled him towards her for a kiss.
“Lois. We’re in the middle of the office, honey.”
She wrapped her arm around his waist and started swaying back and forth, resting her head upon his chest, her fingers playing with the buttons of his shirt.
“You feel like dancing?” Clark asked, a slight chuckle to his voice, setting his hand over hers.
“Yes,” Lois practically moaned. Oh, that music was making her want to dance. Move. She wanted… No, Lois
needed him. Superman. She gulped, pulling herself out of her daydream. What was she doing? Her head turned towards Perry’s office. ELVIS!
Can’t Help Falling in Love was softly playing.
Once Lois knew what was making her feel this way, it was as if she stepped into a flashback. She and Clark were slow dancing at Perry’s Superhero costume ball. Only for some reason, Clark hadn’t worn his Superman suit. She needed to take off his shirt, get to that suit. As she continued to sway, she started to loosen his tie.
“Lois!”
She snapped out of it and was suddenly back in the newsroom, her dimension, her husband. Clark was looking at her like she had lost her mind. She
had lost her mind. Lois had no control over what she was doing. It was like the music was controlling her. Telling her what to do. And it was telling her to kiss Superman, not Clark Kent. “Fly away now,” she murmured.
“What’s the matter, Lois?” he asked, not moving.
The music switched to
Burning Love. That was her and the other Clark’s song. Lois felt like ripping off his shirt, just to feel that soft blue suit, run her fingers over his ‘S’. She felt like pushing him down on the desk and doing things she really shouldn’t do at work. “Clark. Go. Now. Please.” She gulped, her hands started to shake.
“Lois, no. What’s going on?”
Suddenly, her ears picked up another sound, the TV. Thank God, an emergency. “Go. Clark. Now.” Lois pointed up at the TV.
Clark turned and looked.
The stand-off at the National Bank of Gotham started right before 9 a.m. this morning.He smiled. “Oh. Thanks. I thought…” Clark shook his head, then kissed her cheek. “Love you.”
Lois watched as he ran off towards the storage room, loosening his tie. Then she fell into her chair. She couldn’t do this anymore. She was out of control.
***
Lois walked into Perry’s office with a pained expression on her face and shut the door.
Perry was instantly concerned. “What is it, darling?”
“Could you turn that off?” she asked, referring to his constantly playing Elvis music.
“Sure, honey, whatever you say.” He turned around and switched off
Burning Love.
Lois exhaled, able to breathe again. This super hearing and his Elvis music were a bad combination. She had waited until Clark was out of the office so she could do this without worrying about him overhearing her. “Can I make a confession, Perry?”
Her boss nodded.
Lois swallowed. She didn’t want to do this, but if she didn’t speak up at this moment the rest of her life would be a living hell. She might not be able to stop herself next time.
“Recently, I was listening to the Elvis CD you bought me for my birthday a couple of years ago, and going through my old case files, cleaning up, organizing, making room for Lara’s stuff…”
Perry nodded; he was with her so far. Let’s see how well this lie would work. “When I came across the file of that perfumer Miranda.” She swallowed.
Her editor covered his face with his hand. “Oh, Lois! Not ‘
Revenge’? I still have nightmares of those forty-eight hours.”
Lois nodded. “Somehow, I had a sample of ‘
Revenge’ in the files and it spilled and now…”
“Elvis?”
“Yes, Perry. Every time I hear Elvis singing almost anything, I get…” She coughed. “Distracted.”
Perry was trying hard not to laugh. She could tell by his pressed lips. He raised an eyebrow. “How distracted, Lois?”
The pained expression returned to her face. Lois closed her eyes and pictured her jitterbugging with the other Clark, kissing the other Clark. She started fanning herself. “Very distracted.”
“I see,” he said with half a smile. “And if I were to turn, let’s say
Burning Love back on…”
“Please, don’t!” She pleaded with him, holding up her hands to stop him. “Especially not
Burning Love.” Lois swallowed. “You see, Perry…” She glanced out his office window at Clark’s empty desk. “Clark wasn’t home when I spilled the sample of ‘
Revenge.’ Someone else stopped by… first.”
“Lois, honey, are you trying to tell me that you cheated on Clark while drugged on ‘
Revenge’?”
Lois looked down, biting her bottom lip. “A little.”
“Do I want to know who stopped by?” Perry asked.
“Oh, no. No. No!” She shook her head.
“And when I play
Burning Love you think about this other man?”
Lois nodded.
“Does Clark know about this, honey?”
Lois head dropped again. “Clark has a lot on his plate, right now. I’d rather just eliminate Elvis from my life than explain to Clark…” Her voice faded.
Perry finished her thought. “Why you find Elvis suddenly so romantic?”
“Not romantic, Perry. It makes me think of another man. Of pressing my body against him and kissing him, like there was no tomorrow.” She swallowed. “I lose control.”
“Oh.”
“I love Clark. I will always love Clark. I don’t want to think of…
him. Not that way.”
“And what did this man think of your sudden affection?”
Lois closed her eyes and pictured herself slow dancing and making out with Superman.
“Oh.”
“Oh, what?” Lois gasped, opening her eyes. What had Perry seen?
“Nothing.” Perry looked like a cat that ate the canary.
She gave her boss a sharp look. “Perry, this is my life, my marriage, I’m talking about here.”
“Then, honey, you need to take Elvis home and you and Clark need to make new memories. Make his music your own.”
Lois gulped, hanging her head down in shame.
“You should be ashamed, Lois. Not knowing that The King is the King of Romance. Shame on you! Get out of my office.”
Embarrassed and chagrined, Lois darted from Perry’s office. He stood at his office window and watched her. She sat down at her desk and buried her face in her hands. How was she ever going to make it through this? Why had she ever told Perry? If Clark ever found out…
“What was that about?” asked Jimmy, handing her a file.
“I asked Perry not to play Elvis around the…” She closed her eyes as
Devil in Disguise started playing. She grabbed her head again, groaning. “Very funny, Perry.”
“Just checking, sweetie,” Perry said with a wave to Jimmy, turning off the music.
“Do I want to know?” Jimmy asked, glancing toward their editor before returning his gaze to Lois.
“No. Just know I will
never open my big fat mouth around Perry again.” She grabbed her briefcase and stormed out of the office. Fresh air, that’s what she needed. And Double Fudge Crunch bars – a whole box of them.
***
Superman landed outside the National Bank of Gotham, turned on his x-ray vision, and surveyed the scene inside. Standing in the center of the bank lobby was a man dressed all in black, wearing a mask. Superman nodded to himself and was about to enter and take him down, when something stopped him. He took another look at that man. The man’s mask had two points that almost resembled ears. A flash of black cape blocked his vision a moment as the man raised his arm and shot out some kind of silent weapon, covering the face of a traditionally dressed robber with a thick, dark gooey substance. The robber let go of the teller he had been holding and dropped to the ground, gasping for air.
A-ha. So, Superman finally set eyes on the Caped Crusader, Clark told himself. The caped and masked ‘superhero’ of Gotham City, known for his martial arts skills, his use of fancy weaponry, and his own form of justice.
Superman burst through the window as the man in black gave him a distasteful glance. “Subtle,” the man told him.
Superman glowered at the other crime fighter. So, this guy didn’t like Superman’s time-honored methods, huh? He heard a click of a machine gun clip; instinctually, he zipped between the gun and its target. As the pieces of metal flashed off his chest, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the man he was protecting zoom up to the ceiling on some sort of zipline.
Reaching for the robber’s gun, Superman bent the barrel, so it would stop firing. He whooshed to the other side of the gun and picked up the bank robber. He needed something to tie the robber up with, since he didn’t wear a utility belt like
some modern vigilantes. Looking around, he spotted the thick rubber rope used to mark the line for the tellers. He tied up the robber and went to see where that vigilante had disappeared off to.
Superman heard a gasp as he jumped over the counter. A female gasp. Turning around, he saw a female teller next to the body of the still gasping robber. The man was covered in some sort of black goo. This was the man he saw attacked while he was outside.
“Are you all right?” Superman asked the teller.
He could tell by her frightened eyes that she was in shock, but she nodded.
“Let’s get you out of here.” Superman picked her up and carried her out the window he had entered, setting her down behind the line of police vehicles.
“How many employees were in the bank when the robbery started?” Superman asked.
She started to shiver. “I don’t know. We were about to open when they burst in. Ten, maybe?”
“Were you able to see how many robbers there were?” he asked as a yell made him turn back around. A man flew – well, it was more like hurled – out of the hole he had made in the side of the bank and landed with a splat on the sidewalk outside. The man was still alive, but he would definitely be taking a trip to the hospital.
The teller turned and with a wave of hero-worship in her voice, whispered, “Batman.”
Superman grimaced. Obviously, this woman would be no help.
Zipping back inside, Superman did a quick fly around the bank. He found the bank employees lying on the floor outside the vault. The robber who had been guarding them was lying in a puddle of his own blood, breathing heavily; the blood was from a gash in his shoulder from a bat-shaped throwing star. Superman shook his head. Someone needed to teach this so-called superhero the rules.
Superman tried to x-ray the vault, but it was lead-lined. Who lined their vaults with lead? He saw a pregnant woman among the employees and for an instant saw the pregnant Lois. He quickly picked her up and took her outside to the waiting ambulance.
“Thank you, Superman.” She smiled at him.
“Did you see how many robbers there were?” he asked.
“At least five. Maybe, six. Or more. Sorry, it happened so fast.”
Superman nodded. Four had been taken care of, so at least one to two more inside the vault. Batteries recharged from the victim’s gratitude and a bit of sunshine, Superman whizzed back inside. After a couple more trips, he had rescued all the bank employees and the robber, still breathing and holding his wounded shoulder. The other robbers had been awfully quiet, too quiet in fact.
Inside the vault, Superman found two more robbers tied together with some sort of utility rope, unconscious and bleeding over the stacks of money, but still technically alive. He x-rayed the robbers and found a couple of broken ribs, but nothing life-threatening. A third man was strung up from some sort of zip line from the top most safety deposit boxes, twitching to show Superman he was also still alive and trying to escape. He among the robbers was the only one physically unharmed.
“That’s all of them,” a voice from behind him announced. “Thanks for your help with the hostages, though.”
Superman turned around and looked up to the man in black. “So, we finally meet. You know, someone needs to teach you some manners. If you are going to be a crime fighter, you need to work with the system.”
“Even the police use excessive force sometimes, Superman.” The man was crouched on top of a cabinet.
“You shouldn’t hurt people. Capture and hand them over to the authorities,” Superman told him, hoping with a few lessons the man might end up doing more help than harm.
“Who put you in charge of our democracy, Superman? I didn’t get a chance to vote.”
Superman pressed his lips together, taking a step forward.
The man in black raised a finger and shook it at him. “Gotham City is no Metropolis. My city isn’t as nice and clean as yours. The crimes are darker, the villains meaner and they need someone…” He looked Superman up and down. “… who understands the darker side of life better to find and capture them.”
Superman raised a brow and took another step forward.
What? He didn’t like the blue suit?“Don’t try to detain me, Superman. I work with the police in my city. They aren’t going to arrest me.
They like me.” The man actually smiled at him. It was the only expression Superman could read with that ridiculous mask. “I’m not the bad guy.”
Superman took another step forward. He wasn’t quite sure what he would do with this ‘superhero’. True, he could have him captured by now, but Batman was telling the truth about working with Gotham City’s Police Department. Of course, that wasn’t a very good recommendation from what Clark knew of this city’s police corruption. The man pulled out a small metal vial dangling from a chain around his neck.
“I’m sure you are familiar with Kryptonite, Superman.”
Superman paused, glaring at him. “If you aren’t the bad guy then what are you doing with Kryptonite?”
The man started to unscrew the metal vial, which Superman realized almost too late was made of lead. “You see, Superman, I thought we could work together. We both want to keep our cities clean of the scum of the earth. We just go about it in different ways.”
Superman saw a flash of green before the headache set in. “Put that away.”
“I don’t take orders, Superman, even from you. I just wanted you to know that. And I don’t need a boss and I’m nobody’s sidekick.”
Superman’s knees weakened and he fell to the floor.
“I don’t want to hurt you but I will protect myself. And I do find it much easier to talk with you when I know you can’t use your abilities on me. We’re on the same side. Do me and yourself a favor. Don’t go around thinking you’re better than me because you have a set of rules you follow. We have our different methods. Accept that and we can work together. Be friends, even.” The man jumped down from the cabinet and stood over Superman, holding out his hand. “Deal?”
Superman looked up at him, ignoring his hand, and turned on what was left of his x-ray vision, before the pain of the Kryptonite was too much to keep his eyes open and his powers failed. This guy was crazy if he thought Superman would become friends with anyone who pulled Kryptonite out so they can have a conversation.
“Well, think about it. I’m not really that bad of a guy, once you get to know me,” said Batman, disappearing into the shadows.
*** End of Part 9 *** Can’t Help Falling in Love – Performed by Elvis Presley, written by Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore, and George David Weiss.
Burning Love – Performed by Elvis Presley, written by Dennis Linde.
(You’re the) Devil in Disguise – Performed by Elvis Presley, written by Bill Giant, Bernie Baum, and Florence Kaye.
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