Part 4
Shuffling in her pink fuzzy slippers, Lois wandered sleepily out in the living area. This was one way to create a bit of distance from Clark; let him see her at her worst – right after she woke up in the morning. If they ever got together again, she'd have to pass this particular test anyway. Better sooner than later. It was probably good to know if her appearance upon wakening would send him running to the hills in terror. Of course, if he hadn't run from her the time that she showed up at the Daily Planet in coffee stained pants and his old flannel shirt, then he probably wasn't likely to think that this outfit was any worse.
She lifted her eyes and looked for Clark. He wasn't to be found at first, then she spied a dark head of hair bobbing up and down on the floor. He was doing pushups.
The muscles rippling beneath his thin t-shirt instantaneously mesmerized her. Made sense though, after she watched him for a couple of moments, with a body like his, he would have to keep it up constantly. Somehow she never imagined Clark working out. He didn't seem at all like the narcissistic type. Not that all people who exercised were preoccupied with themselves. She certainly wasn't indulged with her looks.
Too soon, he turned his head towards her and hopped effortlessly to his feet. He looked at her a second longer than what was comfortable, then tore his eyes away.
"What?" she quietly demanded, feeling self-conscious.
"Nothing."
"What?" she repeated a bit more insistently.
"Nothing. It's just that, well, you look pretty decent, for first thing in the morning."
Lois felt herself blushing fiercely at his complement. Clark thought she looked decent, if you could define decent. They never had the chance to wake up together that morning long ago. He had left her while she had been sleeping to turn in the news story, which was now up for a Kerth.
Did that mean she totally didn't disgust him, or that he found her pleasant to look at?
Changing the subject seemed like the right thing to do. "I think we need to order room service. Are you up for breakfast? Sure you are. You're a big guy."
She reached for the phone to dial room service. Clark stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and turned her gently in another direction. In her determination to do something, she failed to see the tray of coffee and pastries sitting on a small table by the equipment.
"Have a seat. I'll get you some." Clark smiled gently at her and proceeded to pour her a cup from the large thermos. "You like three pink packets and just a touch of creamer, right?"
"How'd you know?"
"I remember everything about you. Chocolate éclair, or cinnamon roll?"
"The chocolate one, of course." She shot a puzzled glance at him, then patted the cushion next to her.
She swallowed tightly as he dropped down next to her. "So do you think this is what it's like to live togeth... um, with someone? Fulltime?"
"I guess... I mean, I've never lived with anyone before... fulltime."
"Me neither. Fulltime."
An awkward silence followed for a few moments. Clark finished his donut before continuing, "My parents made it look so easy, so I've never thought of it as being too difficult."
"Mine made it look like a root canal. They were always fighting. That's why it was a surprise when I woke up this morning."
At Clark's puzzled looked, she injected, "What I'm trying to say is thank you for taking me to bed last night. You didn't really have to give it up. My parents would have fought it out tooth and nail." <We could have shared>, she wanted to add.
"My pleasure."
She took a nervous bite of her éclair and a bit of cream filling squirted out and dribbled on her lap. Clark immediately grabbed a napkin and began dabbing at the spot. An old familiar thrill raced through her body, causing her to still all her motions at his touch.
"A bit of service goes a long way." He smiled at her when he heard her catch her breath. "Lois..."
The intensity in his eyes changed, turning from warm chocolate to smoldering brown. Feeling a bit emboldened, Lois covered his hand with hers and smiled back. Drat him for his ability to turn her insides to jelly, but at this point she needed this feeling desperately.
"Guess living together can be very scary. At first, I mean."
"There'll be compromises..." He turned their joined hands over and began twirling random patterns into her palm.
"Forced intimacy..."
"Sharing responsibilities..."
"Never alone."
"Never alone."
Clark reached up with his other hand touched her face with his fingertips, then lifted her gaze to meet his own. Time stood still as he remembered the last time he had seen this look in her eyes. They were warm and inviting – just the same as the other night when he, as Kal, had kissed her when she was thinking of the 'other man' in her life. Lois had been thinking of him!
There still was the truth hanging between them. He had to tell her he was Kal. But at this moment? Not when he was holding her trembling face in his hand. Not when he needed so desperately to reconnect with what they'd begun so many months ago. Her defenses were lowering, and they had to start somewhere in recapturing what was between them. His hand moved against her cheek and cupped the back of her head.
"Is this too soon? I don't want to be too forward."
She shook her head slowly and waited. His face drew close and she closed her eyes. This was it! Clark was going to kiss her!
The touch of his lips was a delicious sensation, soft and easy against hers, not demanding, but lingering. All too soon they left and she felt his head rest easy against hers.
Leaning back against the cushions, he tugged her close to his side as his arm wrapped around her. Her head fit perfectly in the hollow between his shoulder and neck. His lips kissed her temple and he sighed against her hair, "Let's watch the offices from here for a while. Then there's a place I want to take you for lunch. We need to talk, Lois."
She recaptured his hand and gave it a squeeze. "We sure do."
*****
Clark adjusted the surveillance equipment for Jimmy and stepped back. "There. All you have to do is watch. Remember to page us at the sign of any activity."
"Gotcha, CK!" Jimmy said eagerly. "You guys will be back here in a couple of hours?"
"Yep. That's the plan. We're starting to go a bit stir crazy. Need to get some fresh air and stretch our legs."
Jimmy looked around the room for Lois and saw her rummaging through her purse.
"I guess you need to get away..." He mouthed the next words, "...from her!"
Clark started to explain that they decided to find a quiet place to talk without having to be distracted by the comings and goings of the office across the alley, but decided otherwise. It was much better to play along with Jimmy than to explain his and Lois' relationship.
"Yeah, we need time alone."
Jimmy rolled his eyes and smiled knowingly at Clark. He couldn't blame Clark for wanting to escape from Mad Dog Lane. Most of the time, she was a pressure cooker about to explode, and people avoided her at all costs. He was surprised that Clark had lasted this long in the ring with her.
To his surprise, Clark turned to Lois and said, "You ready?"
He opened the door for Lois, and she stepped through, smiling cautiously at him.
Jimmy shook his head, trying to clear it. Surely there couldn't be anything else going on between them? Nah. They were just happy to get out of here. He peered through the eyepiece for a moment, then lifted his face. All seemed fairly quiet. They would never know that he had taken a soak in the hot tub.
*****
Clark paid for the hot dogs and handed one to Lois. It was a beautiful day, way too nice to spend it inside a restaurant.
They walked in silence around the park looking for an empty, out of the way bench to sit and eat their lunch. Finally, they found one under an old oak tree over looking the river.
Lois was the first to speak up. "You know, hot dogs can be very under-rated. Sometimes the best-tasting food is simple. I wonder if it's nostalgia or eating something outdoors? What do you think?"
"Could be the company?" Clark said, grinning at her. "At least it is for me."
Lois suddenly squeezed her hot dog a bit too hard and chili came squirting out the side. Fortunately, it landed on the bench seat instead of her lap.
"Sorry," Clark said, laughing. "What is it about you and messy food? This is the second time today."
"I don't know," Lois said, half-distracted as she wiped the bench with her napkin. "Every time I get around you." She looked up suddenly, as she realized what she was saying. The heat rose in her cheeks and she felt the need to back peddle. "It must be your clumsiness rubbing off on me. I swear, I've never seen a grown man struggle over stuck desk drawers and broken copiers like you do."
"So you were watching me? You hadn't given me the time of day for a long time," Clark said, smiling. "I thought you considered me part of the furniture."
Lois regarded him for a moment, then realized she was caught. "Okay! I did think about you just a bit these past months."
"I thought about you all the time," he said quietly.
She smiled hesitantly at his reply. "Maybe I thought about you more than just a bit."
Clark smiled, then took a bite of his hotdog. "You've come a long way since you first started at the Daily Planet. Do you feel like your career is established enough? You've certainly proven yourself in the journalism arena."
"Yeah, but no Kerth to speak of, except maybe the one with you."
"In the past three or four months, you've written several top-notch stories. I bet at least three of them will be nominated next year. But what's more important, how do you feel about your career? Is this the point where you wanted to be?"
Lois thought for a moment before answering, "That's the key to becoming a great journalist. You should never be satisfied with where you are."
"So I guess you're not ready."
She saw his eyes flash with disappointment. "Oh gosh, Clark! If you mean where I was a year ago compared to today, I'd have to say I'm happy in what I've accomplished so far. I'm sorry I shut you out of my life, but..."
"Lois, no need to apologize. I understood why," Clark interrupted. His jaw set firmly, he looked her in the eye. ."...most of the time."
"It wasn't an easy decision," she said, her voice rising in pitch.
"I know it wasn't." He lowered his face to look her in the eyes, then smiled apologetically. "So where do we go from here? Are we just calling a truce to our cold war, or are you thinking about giving us another chance?"
Lois looked into his eyes and wanted to believe the gentle concern she saw staring about at her. Of course she could trust Clark, couldn't she?
"Omigod, Clark! You sure know how to strike fear and panic in a woman! I guess what it boils down to is that I'm still scared. As far as relationships are concerned I have a high freak factor. I believe I have the answer one minute, then turn around and have to rethink the whole relationship business. It's nothing that you've done, but there are things in my past that I have to let go of." She waved her hands for emphasis. "I hate how I'm tiptoeing around the issue, but the fact is, I just don't know. Last time, it happened so fast between us. I know you, yet I don't know you."
Clark regarded her sudden panic attack and came to a decision. "Maybe we should just start over. Take it one step at a time and see where that lands us?"
"Yeah, that sounds great."
Clark leaned back into the bench and stretched his arms out over the top of the backrest in a casual manner. "Well, I'd say we should enjoy our lunch and make the most of this beautiful day. Hi! My name's Clark..."
******
"See! You have to throw it sideways. Sort of like a mini-frisbee," Clark explained as he stood behind Lois at the river's bank. "It gives it a spin so it can skip across the water."
He drew back his arm and flung the rock quickly. The stone skipped six times and then sank into the water.
"Impressive! Guess living on the family farm is good for all these unnecessary life skills." She turned a rock over in her hand, gripped it firmly, and let it fly. The rock bounced once on the water, then sank without fanfare.
"Unnecessary, you say? You can't say that skipping rocks isn't a great stress reliever."
"Okay, then. I'll just imagine that branch sticking out of the water is the latest scumbag's head and aim for that." She transferred another rock to her throwing arm and tried once more. This time it bounced two times before sinking.
Clark laughed, then said, "That's not the kind of stress relief I was talking about."
"You have your kind of stress relief; I have mine."
Stepping behind her, he placed his hand on her wrist and led her through the motions of throwing the rock. "A little more wrist action, and then I think you've got it."
"One more time," she said determinedly. After the rock skipped five times, she turned to Clark and smiled smugly at him. "Picturing Ralph's head worked just fine, mind you."
"Okay, I'll give you that." Clark locked eyes with her and felt the familiar magic returning once again. But instead of acting on their emotions like they had done before, he smiled broadly and offered her his hand. "Need help up the path? I think we need to find a playground."
"Playground?" she questioned.
"I think you need to be pushed on the swings."
"And what makes you think that?"
Clark's beeper going off interrupted Lois. He frowned then looked at the number on the beeper. "It's Jimmy. Looks like break time is over."
Lois sighed and her expression grew serious once again. "Guess it's back to the grindstone. I wonder if Harrington's back."
"Let's go straight to the hotel. By the time we find a phone to call..."
Lois finished his thought. "Harrington could be gone."
Clark nodded towards the path going up to the park, and let Lois lead the way.
*****
A short time later, they were back in the hotel room peering in Harrington's office.
"I swear, guys! It looked like something was going to happen. Two creepy looking men stopped by, left for a moment, and came back."
Lois looked through the eyepiece and asked, "Well, where are they?"
"They're gone. Left a few minutes ago."
"What were they doing there?"
"Just hanging out."
"So you interrupted our lunch for a couple of wannabe thugs just hanging out?" Lois fumed, remembering the relaxing walk she and Clark had been taking around the park. He'd been absolutely wonderful setting her at ease. Starting over had been a good idea, and it had gone a long way to relieve some of the pressure between them. Then Jimmy had called them on Clark's beeper, and the easy mood was over between them. It had been time to get back to work.
"You did the right thing, Jimmy," Clark said, trying to sound convincing. He wished he and Lois could have had a little while longer by themselves. It was so easy to use the surveillance assignment to skirt around their private issues. They had had a few unguarded moments between them, but basically the atmosphere had been quiet and business-like.
He wished he knew why Lois was still so skittish around him. Something wasn't adding up. One moment she was reaching out and grabbing his hand, and the next she was pulling away and acting like he had a contagious disease. He didn't doubt that she cared about him, but breaking through her tough barriers was proving to be rather difficult.
"Um, Jimmy?" Lois' voice cut through his thoughts. "Why are our towels wet?"
Upon further examination, Clark noticed a wet trail running from the hot tub to the surveillance equipment. Lois' eyes had narrowed and she glared at the young photographer.
"Jimmy?" she said faux sweetly. "You haven't by chance been in our hot tub, now have you?"
Jimmy sucked in his breath and his eyes grew wide. Clark approached Jimmy from the back and acted out an animated sniff. "Yep! Smells like fresh soap to me."
"The Planet is paying for this! I just thought a little dip would help pass the time away."
"Let me guess! So when you saw activity in the office across the alley, which you were supposed to be keeping a constant eye on, you hopped up, forgot you were wet, and tracked water across our carpet, then ransacked the bathroom for towels. Is that correct?"
"Uh..." Jimmy fidgeted under the scrutiny of Lois' intense gaze.
"I think he used your soap. He smells like lilacs," Clark piped in.
Something in the hot tub caught Lois' eye and she knelt down and fished a candy wrapper out of the drain's strainer.
"My Double Fudge Crunch bars!! You ate my chocolate stash, you little..." She lunged towards Jimmy and Clark caught her deftly around the waist.
"Easy, Lois! Perry wouldn't want you killing Jimmy on company time."
Lois glared at Clark a second and shrugged his arm off. "Ah, ha! No respect for personal items. Expect my bill in the morning!"
"I think I'll head out now. Looks like you guys can take over again. The chief wanted me to... uh, wash his car this afternoon." Jimmy grabbed his camera and backed-up quickly towards the door. "See ya!"
The door shut with a loud bang as Lois turned to Clark, wiping her hands together as though she was ridding them of something nasty.
"I wasn't really going to kill Jimmy."
"I know," Clark said smiling at her. "Good show!"
"That'll teach him to interrupt us again."
"My little Mad Dog," he said chuckling.
"Oh, not you too!" She scowled defiantly at him. "I never thought you'd stoop to calling me that."
Lois took a couple of steps toward him, and Clark could see the twinkle in her eyes. "And you're not above calling people names?" he challenged.
"Of course, I'm not. I may grumble a bit, but I keep the name calling above board."
"Hmmm... I seem to recall you calling me something like 'hayseed' long ago..."
"Hayseed? Did I call you that? I'll have to remember that one."
She poked him in the chest, and Clark resisted the temptation to grab her and draw her close. He had to remember they were taking it slowly this time. Trust. He had to keep building trust. Whatever it was that was keeping Lois from letting all her walls down was still there. If he wanted to find out what it was and help her, he needed to have her complete trust.
"Oh, boy! I'm quivering in my shoes," Clark retorted as he turned to the surveillance equipment.
"You'd better." Lois peered over his shoulder and tried to see what he was doing. All of a sudden, Clark heard a noise and stood up straight. He peered through the door and identified who was trying to enter their room. It was the maid bringing some more towels to them! Jimmy must have tipped off the front desk on his way out. Thinking fast, he took the equipment and tossed it on the sofa behind them.
Concerned flashed across his face, but he grabbed Lois by the upper arms and pushed her down on the cushions, covering her body with his own. He smothered her cry of protest with his mouth on hers as his hand snaked up her body to cradle her face hoping to reassure her. She struggled against him, her hands beating against his back, not understanding his actions.
On her way to the bathroom to deliver the clean towels, the maid didn't see them on the sofa, but Clark felt he needed to keep up the pretence. The dirty towels would be in clear view when she returned. He kissed her a bit more insistently, hoping that Lois would forgive him for taking such a drastic measure to fool the maid.
He deepened his kiss and felt Lois respond, her lips yielding against his. In the background, he heard the maid exclaim in surprise, but that didn't matter. Lois' arms found their way around his back and she tugged him closer. Her hands roamed his back frantically, slipping downward to tug his shirt from his pants.
Conflicting memories of two different men flashed in Lois' mind when Clark threw her on the sofa and laid his body on top of hers. The first memory, distant in time, but seeming only like yesterday, jumped to the forefront. With a sneering face and punishing mouth, he had tossed her on the bed carelessly and plundered her without feeling. She struggled against her assailant...
Yet another time, one that was constantly in her dreams, was of the man she loved, and who was kissing her now, and oh, so passionately!
She stopped struggling against him and let her emotions take over. Her lips melted against his, and she tugged him closer. Suddenly the hard metal of the tripod jabbed her in the back and the memory of being forcibly kissed on the other man's bed came flooding back.
She pushed against the man on top of her and squirmed frantically against him.
"Get off!" she screamed. "Now!"
The maid let out a yell behind them as Clark pulled himself off Lois, jumping to his feet. Lois sat up quickly, took one look at the maid with the dirty towels in her hand and glanced back at Clark who darted his eyes slyly to the equipment on the sofa. Suddenly she understood. Clark hadn't been overcome with a bout of passion and lust; he'd been trying to fool the maid.
Within a few seconds of the maid yelling, Lois screamed herself, hoping to scare the maid out of the room. The maid jumped, dropped a towel, mumbled something in Swedish and practically ran out the door.
Clark shuffled nervously, hoping it wasn't his turn to be yelled at. Lois turned to face him and instead of anger, he found a scared smile.
He picked up the equipment and placed in on the floor, then sat next to her. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you. I only had a second to react and..."
"I think so. And it wasn't you. Just one of my many baggage compartments flying open in the middle of a flight. I'll be okay. Give me a minute." She reached over and patted him on his hand.
"If you want to talk about it, I'm here," Clark offered, sensing that her perfected distancing technique was in full operational mode.
"There really is no need." She leaned her head back against the cushion and closed her eyes.
Clark waited for a couple of seconds, then sighed. She had closed up on him once again. At least it was a miracle that she hadn't bitten his head off for having thrown himself on her and kissing her senseless. She had been responding to him, at least for a few moments.
Patience. He had to have patience. The problem being that he wasn't sure how much patience he had left when thrown into situations like the one they were just in. Having Lois mold her body to his, having her arms suddenly tighten around him, then feeling her hands on his bare skin as he kissed her brought back memories of the night they had almost made love. The time that he had stopped them because he believed he should be noble and tell her everything.
Yes, he believed he should tell her he was Kal, but the timing never seemed right. They were on a stakeout, for goodness sakes, and he had to make sure she was ready to hear the truth. A few months ago, she hadn't wanted to know everything about his normal life. Her confidence had been so shaky in herself and relationships that she had told him as Kal that she wanted to keep their identity secret from each other. So how was he supposed to handle this situation?
To his surprise as he was messing with the equipment, once again, he felt her hand on his shoulder and her voice whispering shakily in his ear, "But you're a great kisser..."
He turned towards her and saw that her eyes were calm once again and that she looked rather contrite for having yelled at him. Smiling, he patted the coffee table where he was sitting and scooted over so that she could have a seat if she wished.
He heard her gulp rather noisily, then said, "Guess we keep taking one step forward and two steps back. Suppose it's progress though."
"As long as we keep heading in the same direction..."
"Clark? You could be with any woman that you want, yet I've never seen you with anyone else in the past few months. Why is that?
"I'm not seeing anyone because there's never been anyone else I wanted to be with except you. I told you I would wait, and besides," he leaned over to whisper in her ear trying to keep the mood light. "You're a great kisser, too."
She frowned at him. "That can't be true."
"Huh?"
"I don't have enough experience to be considered a good kisser, but you should know better. After all, a man like you should have lots of comparisons to draw upon."
"Like me? Lois, I think you have the wrong impression. I don't have a lot experience dating because I've been waiting for the right woman to come along all my life. At the risk of pushing myself too far, I've already met her, and she's sitting next to me on a stakeout in a very gaudy hotel suite."
"I don't have much experience either. Just bad ones."
"Someday when you're ready, I hope to change that," Clark's face colored slightly. "I mean, the way I feel about you... I'd never want to hurt you, Lois."
She looked into his face, so full of affection and warmth, and was overcome by a burst of emotion. Twisting towards him, she threw herself in his arms and leaned her head on his shoulder. His strong arms wrapped around her, and he buried his face in her hair.
Sniffling, she answered, "I know that, or I'm starting to believe it... and in us."
Clark threaded his fingers through her hair and held her against his shoulder. Should he even dare ask again? He had to. Lois was going through something he didn't understand. If she could only talk about it, then there might be yet another wall broken down between them.
"Lois, are you sure you're okay with what happened before? You seemed pretty scared."
She turned her face into his shoulder and tightened her arms around him. "I'm fine, Clark. Just hold me."
He kissed the top of her head and shifted positions so that she was more comfortable in his arms. "For as long as you want, sweetheart," he whispered. "As long as you want."
******
