“Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.” - Walter Anderson
* * * * * * * * *
Blind (Super)Man’s Bluff
Episode One
Life Itself
* * * * * * * * *
Martha Kent was anything but pleased. She didn’t like this. She didn’t like this one bit. Every fiber of her being screamed that this was wrong. Still...
“Steps,” she whispered from her hiding spot behind a large packing box in her only child’s apartment because, whether she was happy with it or not, this was her assigned task.
She watched as her son hesitated and then groped slightly for the railing before taking his first step up the stairs leading to the door. This was never going to work. He was just far too obvious.
Good!
“Okay, you’re on the landing,” she whispered. Her job was to cover the living room and kitchen. Jonathan’s was to cover the bedroom - in case for some reason Clark needed to go in there. “The door is right in front of you... lower,” she added when he reached forward, too high to grasp the doorknob. “And to your right... I mean, left.” She’d always had trouble keeping those straight.
Still, Clark had insisted that she and Jonathan both audition for their assigned roles and claimed that she take the living room because she, apparently, was better at this than Jonathan.
A moment later, Clark was grasping the door handle and turning it. The door was pushed open from the outside before he even had a chance to get it fully open and Martha watched as a whirlwind swept past Clark into the apartment, practically knocking him off his feet in the process.
Lois.
“This better be important, Clark,” Lois said, barely looking at the man in question as she bustled down the steps, tossing her coat over the back of the couch. “I don’t know where you’ve been the past few days, but I could have really used your help. Your weekend... whatever... with Mayson couldn’t have come at a worse time.”
“I didn’t spend the weekend with Mayson,” Clark said.
For a brief moment, she paused, but a dismissive gesture with her hand made it clear that his weekend activities were not currently forefront in her thoughts - or at least that Clark’s relationship with Mayson was not a topic she was currently prepared to contemplate. “Anyway, the long and the short of it is that Superman’s blind. That’s confidential information, by the way. Can you imagine what the thugs of Metropolis would do if they knew?”
She gave her head a quick shake before returning to her previous rant. “Anyway, I know who did it - who blinded Superman - but they got away. And then Superman took off. I thought he’d followed them. But now no one can find the guys who did it and no one has seen Superman, and by the way, what exactly have you been doing the last few...”
Her voice suddenly died as she seemed to take her first good look around her. “Packing? You’ve been packing? Why?” She spun around then, looking at him closely for the first time. “Clark, look at me. Why have you been packing?”
In the silence that followed, Martha shifted positions so that she could get a clearer view of Clark. He was still standing at the top of the steps, having turned around, even if he hadn’t moved. His hand rested on the railing and his eyes were fixed on the floor in front of him.
“If you want to come down the stairs, the first step is right in front of you,” Martha whispered. When he didn’t move, she cringed. If only he started to move, or tried to look Lois in the eye, maybe the woman would stand a chance of figuring out that Superman wasn’t the only one blind.
“Clark, look at me,” Lois said again, this time much softer.
Martha silently willed her son to do as asked, but he stubbornly kept his eyes focussed on the floor. Martha looked at Lois. She’d heard the tinge of anxiety in Lois’ voice when she’d asked Clark to look at her - as if she feared being buried under an avalanche if she spoke any louder.
‘Come on, Lois! Figure it out!’ Martha silently tried to push these thoughts into the younger woman’s mind.
Suddenly, Lois let out an audible breath, cutting through the air like a knife. “Fine! Don’t look at me. Just tell what you mean by...” Her hand made a sweeping gesture, taking in the entire room. “...this.”
“That’s why I asked you to come over, Lois. I’m...” His voice cracked slightly. “...leaving Metropolis.”
Lois reached out, grasping onto the back of the sofa, the earth beneath her feet suddenly shifting.
“Leaving... Metropolis.” Lois repeated the words slowly, weighing them with her tongue. Then she gave her head a firm shake. “Don’t be ridiculous, Clark. You’re not leaving Metropolis. Now... what we need to do is...”
“I am leaving, Lois. I’m sorry if this seems sudden. But the last little while... I guess I’ve finally realized that I’m not cut out for big city life. I miss the farm. I’m going home. The editor of the Smallville Post is resigning and...” He hesitated slightly. “... my folks could really use the help.”
Martha glared at her son. How dare he use her and Jonathan as an excuse for this? The way he was scuffing a foot on the floor told Martha that he knew she wouldn’t approve of being used in this fashion.
“No. No, Clark, you can’t leave, I...” She bit off her words, clearly re-evaluating her comments. “You can’t leave now. Superman needs us! You can’t just abandon m... him.”
“Superman can sort out his own problems, Lois. I need to do this... for me.” He turned back towards the door, his hand fumbling for the doorknob for a moment before he found it.
Martha glanced back at Lois. She seemed slightly puzzled, her eyes going to Clark and then to the open door and back to Clark.
“Okay, what’s really going on here, Clark?” Lois said. “No, no. I don’t buy it. This doesn’t make any sense.”
Martha tried to silently point her in the right direction, her mind screaming: ‘He’s blind, Lois. Notice that he’s blind.’
“You don’t run away,” Lois continued “...or well, not always... or not when it really matters, anyway.”
“Goodbye, Lois,” he mumbled.
“Clark, please...” Lois’ voice had turned soft, pleading. “Talk to me.”
“Goodbye, Lois,” Clark repeated, pulling the door a little further open.
From the look on Lois’ face, Martha got the impression that Lois felt as if she’d just been punched in the gut. Still, she swallowed, took a deep breath and then slowly padded up the steps.
“But...” Lois said, reaching out to place a hand on Clark’s chest as he continued looking at the floor. “...what about... us?” The words were asked softly, questioningly and in the silence that followed, Martha felt hope rise in her chest. Clark’s expression didn’t change, but by the way he swallowed, Martha could tell he was not unaffected.
“Us,” Clark repeated softly. Then he broke the mood by taking a step back - causing Lois’ hand to fall from his chest.
“Landing!” Martha whispered urgently when Clark looked as if he was about to take another step back.
Clark’s foot hovered in the air for a moment and Martha suspected it was only by judicious use of his superpowers that he hadn’t fallen down the stairs. He placed his foot back on the landing before speaking again.
“Us,” Clark said again, this time the word was accompanied by a small snort. “Lois, there is no us. ‘There is you. There is I. There is no we.’ Isn’t that what you’ve always told me?”
Lois stood in stunned silence for moment before storming back down the stairs to grab her coat. “Fine!” she said, stomping again up the stairs, pushing past Clark and into the doorway.
For a moment, Martha was hopeful that Clark was about to lose his balance, before those damned super reflexes kicked in and allowed him to regain his footing. Unfortunately, Lois’ back had been turned as she’d stepped into the doorway, so she hadn’t seen his almost stumble.
Lois took a step outside before turning back to look at Clark. “When you decide that you’re ready to tell me what’s really going on, give me a call. If I’m not too busy saving Superman, I might just be willing to give you a call back.” With that, she stepped out of his apartment, slamming the door behind her.
A heavy silence filled the room as Martha stood up. She glanced over to see her husband emerge from the bedroom. Clark stood, unmoving, except for a tiny tick in his jaw.
“Well, I’d say that went better than expected,” Martha said sarcastically, breaking into the oppressive silence.
“What did you expect me to do?” Clark said, losing his temper as he spun in the direction of his mother’s voice.
Her eyebrows rose. Clark seldom lost his temper and it was even rarer that he lost it with her.
“Watch how you speak to your mother, son,” Jonathan said immediately in a tone of voice that sounded suspiciously like Superman’s.
“Sorry,” Clark responded with unmistakable contrition. “I just...” He ran his hand through his hair. “Lois can’t know that Clark is blind. It would make it impossible for her not to make the connection between me and Superman.”
“Why not just tell her the truth?” Martha asked. “It can’t be that you’re still worried that she’ll publish it in some tell-all news article.”
“No. No, of course not. I just...” He hesitated briefly, as if trying to marshal his thoughts into words. “I just don’t want her to know that Clark is blind. It’s bad enough that she knows Superman is blind. Besides...” he added, trying to inject an optimistic tone in his voice. “...maybe this isn’t permanent.”
Martha bit her lip. She’d already made her position known - forcefully - most of the previous evening. She agreed that he’d need to take a leave of absence from the Planet, of course. No one could be allowed to realize that Clark had lost his eyesight at the same time as Superman. The connection between them would be far too obvious. But none of them had worked out what would happen after that. Maybe this wasn’t permanent. Maybe they could find a way for Clark to work around it. But for now, it only made sense for Clark to leave Metropolis before anyone made the connection.
But Lois was a different story. As far as Martha was concerned, Lois had a right to know. She was his partner and best friend. She was the woman he loved. And having watched Lois carefully over the past year, Martha was convinced that her son’s feelings weren’t entirely unrequited. Still, Clark Kent could be almost as obstinate as his father when he thought he was right. And when it came right down to it, no matter how wrong she thought he was, he was an adult - and she had to respect his decision.
She looked around the apartment and signed. “Well, then, I guess there is nothing else to do now except get these boxes packed into the U-Hall van outside.” Now that Clark was blind, it wasn’t as if he could just fly them back to the farm.
* * * * * * * * * *
Lois’ steps faltered as she walked down the newsroom ramp and caught sight of the empty desk across from hers. Almost a month now since Clark had left and the first sight of his empty desk in the morning still generated an almost physical feeling of pain in her chest.
But no! Today she wasn’t going to think about Clark. She wasn’t. He’d left. And that was that! Today she wasn’t going to feel like a bird, unable to quite alight anywhere for more than brief periods of time. Slightly lost. As if a part of her was missing. He’d made this choice for both of them and if there was one thing she knew about Lois Lane it was that she didn’t look back. Eyes firmly forward. No time for regrets. No time for moping. There were stories to be written and awards to be won.
She raised her chin and marched firmly to her desk. She slapped her attache case down on the floor and began removing her coat, freezing in mid-action when her eyes caught sight of a pen lying next to Clark’s old desk.
‘That's one of the big problems with this world.’
Lois could still hear Clark’s words as clearly as if he had said them only yesterday. He’d rescued from her garbage can what they had both thought was a pen that no longer worked.
‘Disposable products, disposable relationships, disposable lives. If everything is expendable, what happens to friendship, to trust, to loyalty? What happens to love, Lois?’
What indeed?
And yet, only days later he’d tossed away his job, his home in Metropolis... He’d tossed away her as easily as she’d tossed away that pen.
But what really made her mad, she thought, was that he hadn’t even had the decency to wrap up the pieces of his life in Metropolis before disappearing. She’d learned from Jimmy that he hadn’t even told Perry in person that he was leaving. A phone call followed by his letter of resignation, delivered by his parents when they’d come to collect his things from the Planet, had been Clark’s way of dealing with Perry. Jimmy hadn’t even been given that much consideration. He’d only learned about Clark’s departure when he’d arrived at the office to find Clark’s desk devoid of all personal items.
She supposed she should feel grateful that at least he’d called and asked her to come over so that he could tell her about his decision in person.
Grateful! Yeah, right.
She gave a very unladylike snort as she plopped herself in the chair at the desk and thumbed on her computer with enough force to cause discomfort to the digit.
Perry and Jimmy weren’t the only ones to get their information second hand either. Not that it didn’t give Lois some small sense of satisfaction knowing that Mayson hadn’t been told in person. In fact, he’d stood her up for some magical weekend they were supposed to go on together and then moved without telling her. That left the dubious honor of telling Mayson to Lois. Lois’ mind immediately took her back to that moment, the day after Clark’s departure.
* * * * * * * * *
PREVIOUSLY
* * * * * * * * *
Lois’ eyebrows knit together in confusion when the elevator doors opened and Mayson stepped into the newsroom. What the hell was she doing here? Clark didn’t work here anymore so there was no reason for Mayson to be sniffing around here like a bitch in heat. Unless... Oh, god! Clark hadn’t told Mayson he was leaving!
Her certainty that Mayson didn’t know hit Lois like a thunder-bolt.
Lois wasn’t entirely sure if she should derive some small amount of pleasure from Clark’s oversight or be annoyed that Clark had disappeared, leaving Lois to tell Mayson that her ‘boyfriend’ had vanished. Annoyed won. This was great! Just great!
Never before had it been left to her to break up with a woman on someone else’s behalf. In fact, she’d never even contemplated doing such a thing. How did one go about something like that anyway?
‘It’s not you; it’s him.’
‘You’ll always be friends.’
Or maybe the trusty old... ‘You deserve so much better than him.’
Did the lines sound just as forced and corny when said by a third party as they did when said by the individual himself?
“Where’s Clark?” Mayson asked, stopping next to Lois’ desk before Lois had managed to work out the proper etiquette for the task. Did Martha Stewart have a book for dealing with this situation?
“Didn’t he tell you?” Lois asked, hoping to buy more time before the moment of truth was upon her.
“Tell me?” Mayson asked.
Well, that hadn’t exactly bought her the time she needed. Maybe it was best to just get straight to the heart of the matter.
“He left,” Lois said.
“Left?”
Obviously that had been too brief. “Quit. Resigned. Hit the road. Threw in the towel. Packed up and left Metropolis. Took the yellow brick road back to Kansas,” Lois tried again.
“He left?”
Lois rolled her eyes. Could this woman be any more dense? “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“But...” Mayson’s voice trailed off, but the look on her face was one of pure confusion.
Lois studied the other woman for a moment. Mayson looked so baffled by this information. Maybe things had already gone further between Clark and Mayson than Lois had realized. Oh, she had known that Mayson was half in love with Clark. What she’d never been quite able to determine was what Clark felt for Mayson.
At times when Mayson was coming on to him, he would get the same look that he used to get when Cat would throw herself at him. Still, Lois knew that Clark had gone out with Mayson at least once. She’d even seen them kissing for crying out loud... and who knew what else. Lois had left before determining exactly what had happened next. One thing she hadn’t needed was to have the image of them making out burned into her retinas for life. And if they had planned to spend the weekend together, it must have been... something, at least.
For reasons Lois couldn’t say she understood, the very thought of Clark and Mayson together made her feel slightly... okay, make that extremely ill to her stomach.
Still, the lost look on Mayson’s face caused Lois a pang of guilt. She’d just dropped the news on Mayson as abruptly as Clark had dropped it on her - and she knew how that felt.
“Hey, are you okay?” Lois asked a balm to her unexpected guilt.
“Yeah, I just didn’t think...” Mayson’s voice trailed off as she absently planted her butt in the chair next to Lois’ desk.
Lois shifted uncomfortably. She disliked the unexpected sympathy she felt for the other woman. After all, Lois had at least as much of a right to feel lost or betrayed by Clark’s departure as Mayson did - so how had she suddenly been cast in the role of Mayson’s comforter? After all, Lois Lane didn’t do comfort. That was Clark’s job.
“Why?” Mayson asked after a moment.
Lois shrugged. For some reason, she didn’t want to tell Mayson she had absolutely no idea. “His parents needed his help on the farm,” she said, parroting one of the reasons Clark had given her - not adding that she hadn’t believed Clark’s excuse for a minute.
“So he may be coming back,” Mayson said.
Again Lois shrugged. But she knew the answer to that question. Clark’s departure had not been a temporary leave of absence. He wasn’t coming back. “I suppose.”
It was a lie, but Mayson seemed to take comfort in the prevarication so Lois didn’t bother to correct her.
Suddenly, Lois’ attention was caught by a report on the television quietly playing in the background - another panel discussing Superman’s disappearance. A serious train wreck just outside Metropolis the night before had half the city screaming for Superman. Lois watched for a moment while the ‘experts’ gave their opinions - mainly to berate Superman for suddenly abandoning the city.
“I guess they don’t know that Superman’s blind,” Mayson said, breaking into Lois’ thoughts.
Lois’ eyes snapped back to Mayson before darting around the newsroom. She let out a breath of relief when she realized that no one was close enough to overhear them. Still, it brought up another problem - one Lois hadn’t considered before now. Who all might know that Superman was blind?
Lois had kept secrets for Superman before - his allergy to a certain green crystal, not to mention the way his powers could be transferred by an electrical charge. And she knew that neither Clark nor his parents would say anything. But what about Mayson? She had to have learned about Superman’s blindness somewhere.
“We need to talk,” Lois said, rising to her feet and walking briskly towards the conference room before Mayson could say anything else.
“What is it?” Mayson asked when Lois finally closed the door. “Is it about Clark?”
“No. It’s about Superman.”
Lois could see Mayson stiffen in response to the name.
“I know you don’t like Superman,” Lois said immediately. “Now I can’t say I understand that. With all the bad things you see in your job, I would have thought you would appreciate the good things Superman does, but I guess that’s not really the point here.”
“What are you getting at, Lois?”
“Why do you think Superman’s blind?”
“He called me when you were kidnapped. I was trying to help him find you.”
“Oh.”
“Why?”
Lois took a deep breath and plunged ahead. Obviously, Superman’s blindness was not public knowledge and if Mayson was the only other person who knew... other than the bad guys, of course...
“Have you told anyone else?” Lois asked hastily.
“No, but...”
“I just think it would be better if no one knows that Superman’s blind.” When it looked as if Mayson was about to object, Lois rushed on. “If the criminal element knows Superman’s blind, they’ll undoubtedly all make their move immediately - wanting to act without him around to stop them. Now, the longer Superman is gone, the bolder they’ll all get anyway. But if they all realize at the same time that Superman is no longer able to protect the city, they will overwhelm police and emergency services. Surely you must be able to see that.”
Mayson’s mutinous expression had transformed into something that was much less readable while Lois had been speaking. Her courtroom face probably - the one that didn’t let the jury know that her witness had completely altered his testimony on the stand.
“Listen, this isn’t about your feelings for Superman,” Lois continued when Mayson didn’t speak. “Superman - and whether he should be doing what he does - isn’t the issue. This is about keeping the criminals off the streets. Right now, my boss has all of us hustling to get the Superman story. I haven’t even told him that Superman’s blind. I hate lying to Perry, but...”
“I agree,” Mayson said.
“...it’s the right thing to do. I don’t know why this is so hard for you to understand. It costs you nothing to keep what you know to yourself. And it helps the city. So why you won’t...” Lois’ voice trailed off. “Did you just agree with me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Lois wasn’t entirely sure why she was challenging this.
“Because you’re right. I might not have liked how Superman went about his business or the man himself for that matter, but if all the criminals in the city decided to make their move at the same time, the police would be completely overwhelmed. I don’t suppose Superman thought of that before he made himself so indispensable to this city.”
Lois felt anger flare inside her. “Are you blaming Superman for this?”
“Well, if he’d never come, we wouldn’t be worrying about this now, would we? The police wouldn’t have become complacent and the criminals wouldn’t be in a position to take advantage of that complacency. That’s what comes from placing too much faith in one man.”
Lois had to bite down hard on her lower lip to keep from exploding, but there was a bigger issue here. “So we’re agreed. You won’t say anything about Superman.”
“We’re agreed. It’s not in the best interests of this city to make this public. And hopefully by the time the criminal element realizes that Superman’s not returning, the police will have regained their competence.”
Lois bit back the information that she was still hopeful that Superman would return for fear that it might change Mayson’s mind. But Lois was not about to give up on Superman. He would return - at least if Lois had anything to say about it. Regardless of what Mayson thought, the world needed Superman.
* * * * * * * * *
PRESENT DAY
* * * * * * * * *
And that’s what she should be concentrating on. Superman! Not some no-good, lousy, inconsiderate... “Damn you, Clark Kent,” she muttered as the now-familiar anger rose in her chest. “Damn you for making me care.”
“Did you say something?”
Jimmy’s voice snapped her out of her internal battle. Still, it took her a moment to focus on what Jimmy had said. “Uhh... no. I was just...” She gave a laugh, silently cursing herself at how shaky her voice sounded even to her own ears.
The look of sympathy on Jimmy’s face, as if he’d just read her thoughts, almost did her in.
“So... did you want something?” she demanded, forcing anger into her voice. “Or are you just planning to stand there all day, wasting the Planet’s time?” She raised an eyebrow, hoping, by sheer force of will to wipe the pity off his face. It worked.
“No, I... No. Uhh... how about I...” Jimmy gestured abstractly with his hand.
“Good idea!” Lois responded, turning her eyes immediately to her now powered up computer. She had to quit doing that - snapping at everyone. Still, it was the easiest way to deal with those expressions of sympathy people kept shooting in her direction. And if she had to approach the coffee machine only to hear all conversation instantly cease one more time or deal with one more person asking how she was holding up, she was going to go into full nuclear meltdown.
Clark Kent was a non-entity to her now. She’d forget him just like she had all the other men who’d abandoned her in the past. It was no big deal, really. No big deal, at all. And at least she wouldn’t have to worry about him editing her copy, stealing her headlines or otherwise being his annoying self.
Now all she needed to do was to convince everyone around her that she was past the whole Clark Kent part of her life so that they could find some other sucker to talk about and pity in their spare time.
She, on the other hand, didn’t have spare time. She had work to do. She had a Superman to save, after all. If only Leit had told the truth when she’d asked how to cure Superman’s blindness. She closed her eyes as she thought back, wondering for the hundredth time what she could have done differently that day.
* * * * * * * * *
PREVIOUSLY
* * * * * * * * *
“We do have a bargaining chip,” Leit said. “You tell me where the device is; I’ll give you the antidote for Superman’s blindness.”
For the first time, Lois felt a small amount of hope. An antidote existed for Superman’s blindness. And since she now knew what they were looking for - an object she’d mistaken for a pen earlier in the day - she had the means to obtain that information. All she had to do was to get Leit to give her his information before she revealed the location of Faraday’s device. Of course, Leit could be lying. Still, what choice did she have?
* * * * * * * * *
Lois looked around Clark’s desk. She’d seen Clark put Faraday’s device in his pen holder. Still, it wasn’t there now. So... where was it?
Not that she particularly cared. She had the information she needed. Superman had been blinded with ultra-violet light and so, according to Leit, the antidote was infra-red light. Leit even had a apparatus that could be used to instantly cure Superman. Switch the contraption from ultra-violet light to infra-red light, shine it into Superman’s eyes using the visible light Leit had added from the cold end of the spectrum, turn it on and... presto! Superman would be able to see again.
Suddenly, the Daily Planet went dark and a gust of wind swept through the newsroom.
Superman. It had to be.
“I know you’re here, Superman,” Leit said, obviously having reached the same conclusion as Lois.
“Yes, Dr. Leit. I’m here. And I have the device you’re looking for.”
Superman called for Lois to come to him, to follow his voice in the darkened newsroom.
A struggle ensued, but try as she might, she couldn’t shake Leit, who was now demanding that Superman return the device. She heard the device fly through the air in their general direction.
With Leit’s attention distracted, she stopped down on his foot. When he grabbed for his foot, she grabbed the apparatus he’d shown her earlier, the one that had been used to blind Superman, and switched it to infrared.
“Superman! Look this way!” Lois yelled, shining the red beam directly into Superman’s eyes.
She heard scrambling around her, but focussed on her task. The important thing was to cure Superman’s blindness. Then he would take care of Leit.
She suddenly heard laughter from the far side of the room.
“Did you really think shining infrared light into Superman’s eyes would cure his blindness?” Leit asked. “It’s not like when you take a positive and negative number of the same value and add them together to get zero. Infrared might be the opposite of ultra-violet, but that doesn’t mean one can be used to undo the damage done by the other. Still, thanks for the distraction.”
With that, he and Munch disappeared into the stairwell.
* * * * * * * * *
PRESENTLY
* * * * * * * * *
That was the last time Lois had seen or heard about either Leit or Munch. Not even her most reliable sources had heard as much as a peep from either of them. That had been the last she’d seen of Superman, too. Then, a couple of days later, she’d lost Clark. Her eyes once again settled on his empty desk and she found herself biting her lower lip to fight back the threatening tears.
No. No. She wasn’t doing this. Superman. She needed to discover a way to bring Superman back... Well, and to get rid of the pieces of information that seemed to keep leaking from her mind as a result of having Faraday’s device used on her.
* * * * * * * * *
To Be Continued...
ML
